Ayumi_Chan

Hey guys, so due to some circumstances, I'd like to explain some things for anyone that may have been wondering. Let me first start off by saying, that for anyone who's come onto Tumblr to ask me questions regarding where I've been and the like, I have not, for a long time, answered questions about Curvage publicly due to the fact that I've moved my blog away, some time ago, from being associated with Curvage. This was due to me having followers who were under the age of 18 at the time when I made this decision, and secondly because Curvage, inherently at it's base is 18+. Along with that, as I started to gain more following for art, my blog turned into an art blog. I have people whom I consider pretty close friends who don't know that I modeled and I'd prefer to keep it as such. I'm stating this because of a recent conversation I've had with someone from here who is also a Tumblr user. In light of that, for anyone that feels my intentions were to just come here, sell my sets and leave, I apologize if I've left you with a sour taste in your mouth. That was not my intention. I had planned to be a lot more active, but due to dealing with personal things and focusing on school and having gained a full time job, I've had to place a tremendous amount on the backburner. Curvage has been one of those things (I rarely even game anymore.) Ouside of my full time job and school, I am heavily invested in making progress on a future art career. Any time I have that's free is usually invested in art. I'm also still dealing with how I view my body and what I'd ideally like from my life. There are still things that are a struggle for me despite seeing and working with a therapist. Till I'm able to be happier with my body and myself, I also don't feel comfortable talking about my weight or comfortable sharing photos of my body. For anyone that was looking forward to that, I'm hopeful that by the end of this year I can do so more confidently. I still do plan to come back and be around occasionally as I have energy and time to, and hopefully with some other content; however, I won't guarantee that it will be on a regular basis as you may have already come to the conclusion of. I can certainly understand why some, if not more of you, may feel upset or soured about my coming and leaving after putting sets up of previous images I hadn't released. At the time I had used the funds that were there from the sets to get me by till I had found a job, which happened about a month or so once I started selling them. I'll probably take them down so that others don't feel conned out of my lack of being here or the like. I did and still do appreciate those that have supported me during the time that I didn't have a job. I had been open about my financial struggles and had struggled with the decision myself of selling them because I didn't want to be put into this position of feeling like I owed people something more. I thought I had stated I would try to be here more often, but if I gave the impression that I'd be here more often than I had, I apologize for that, however life gets in the way sometimes. I hope you all are doing well though, and again, I'm sorry for anyone that's felt slighted by my disappearance again

To each their own, but tbh, I feel like your expectations are really high. And I feel like, it could be that maybe, and it could be psychoanalyzing here, but I feel like maybe you're making a lot of excuses because while you say you have accepted this fetish and such, maybe you're scared of someone seeing through that and having a girl accept that? Or perhaps you might be feeling an internalized stigma of being with a larger woman despite having been able to openly talk about it? Because talking about something is one thing, doing it is another. Anther thing to point out is that You can certainly find a larger woman to be with that enjoys sports and the like, and as @scissortooth mentioned, you can find a girl who is able to cheer you on and be with you at events. Because the truth of the matter here is that no matter what, all couples go through periods where their sexual libidos and hobbies, lifestyles will not match. You will not always find someone who shares 100% everything you're into, and as you get older, you will wind up going through changes with what you want out of sex and the like. Same thing goes into the romantic/activities aspect. What if the girl you're with wants you to join her in knitting? You may not be into it, but perhaps for her she might be comfortable in wanting you to just sit in the room with her, doing your own activity, but still be able to provide feedback into what she's creating. I'm also not saying that having a fetish is bad, however if it does interfere with your relationships, it might be good to understand why it does to see if there's a way to work through that so you are able to see if there's some way you can find a compromise within your own life that would allow you to either be with a larger girl who's active, or a thinner girl who's active and can indulge in the fetish. Relationships are about compromise, and that's fine if you don't want to rethink the standards you have, but it will wind up with you back in this position many many times.

I know this is a late response, I can attest that for me, I sometimes do need some space. A lot of the times it's because I'm not sure how to process something in a way that I can outwardly express to anyone that asks. I would rather have time to digest what's going on and break it down and rationalize it before I even talk to anyone else about it. I can tell you, that she is not mad and probably has told you so because she does care about you as a friend and wants you to know that she does realize that you may worry about it. I would message her back and tell her something like, "That sucks that you're going through a hard time, but I just want you to know that if you would like to talk about it I am here, but I respect you needing time to deal with what you're going through."

Perhaps you can ask the doctor "Aside from her weight, do her other numbers suggest that she is unhealthy for maintaining the weight that she's at?" Because I can also say, from my own experience, that me being the largest weight I once used to be, I was still healthy based on the numbers that were tested when I'd have blood tests run. It is unfortunate that so many doctors do choose to throw that out of the window and focus soley on weight, when more times than not about the weight. Something I will say, and I know that this is probably stated in the sense of it being a forum where you can vent such things, but the comment of "I'll help her starve herself :)" Comes off badly. While you may not say anything, it's also something that you should address with your wife. Obviously you're with her because you care about her and love her, but to imply that she's going to be starving herself is kind of putting you in the mindset that she will, and may make it possible that the resentment will come out in other ways; either through snide remarks or the actions you show. 1000 calories a day is genuinely sufficient for a human body when you aren't doing as much physical work as say someone who does have a labor intensive job. I think what will help is that if you both sit down and come up with ways that she can still eat, healthily, even though she may restrict her diet. If you want to be supportive and genuinely helping her, that is something you should do with her and for her. I can guarantee you, that will also help her out if she is genuine in her want to lose weight. So something like "Hey, I know you'd like to lose weight, but going to an extreme like that isn't healthy either because we should try to make sure you're still getting a balanced diet. How about we find a good middle ground where we plan meals and the like." Again, I know that this post is probably meant to be more of a "I'm venting because I have no where else to vent and don't want to take this out on my wife" and that's completely okay. Just also be mindful in working with your wife in her goals rather than sitting on the sidelines and hoping that her diet will end up coming to close sooner than later. Because that mindset in itself is also not supportive or helpful on the subconscious level either. I do, however wish you and your wife the best in whatever happens and comes from all of this.

Honestly, don't do it. Set aside your fetish for a hot minute. Put it aside on a stool, now sit on down here and let me just put some things out here for you that aren't apparent for the age that you're at. I'm currently 9 years older than you, and while you are an adult, I think it's helpful to gain some outside perspective here. In all of this post, you mentioned your weight and you gaining and you both delving into that lifestyle. That's fine and all, however here is the big thing you have to think about. One. you are still 21. Barely an adult. You still have so much time to go out and have fun and experience your life. Secondly, she has a child. A child, which, eventually, if you stay with her long enough, WILL come to see you potentially as a parental figure, which then means a future role model. This will also mean being actively involved in said child's life, and possibly interacting with the child's step parent. This also means that you will also, more than likely, be helping to cover expenses for a 40 year old woman and her child. This also will mean that you will take on the role of being a father to this child. Moving to be with her is one thing when she's single. Moving to be with her while she has a child is completely different as that is a dependent you have to take into consideration. You, at age 21, are very much focused on the fetish aspect to where you're focusing not so much on the realistic implications of said move. Another thing I'm going to ask here is moreso geared into why she's asking and wanting to be with someone so much younger than her? I would be willing to bet that both of your priorities in what you want out of life, while sexually compatible, are probably not as compatible. Your ideals and wants will go through a large transformation once you get past your "party years" and once again once you hit about mid to late 20's. Do not confuse Love with sexual attraction - these things are not mutually exclusive. From how you've worded this, it seems as though she's invested in you in the sense that she's trying to control you, which she has in some way, as you mentioned that "you would wait for her to ask you how big you've gotten." That right, to me at least, there is a bit of a red flag. Because tbh, if that's the only reason she was messaging you, that is not at all a relationship that shows she cares for you in a way that you will benefit by being in a full on relationship would be. If she's messaging you only when it's convenient for her, that's also not a fulfilling relationship, but rather one that's conditional. If that's okay with you, then that's okay. But as a side note to that, If you start losing weight, I would be willing to think that her attraction towards you might change as well. My advice: Don't think of uprooting your whole life just to satisfy your sexual urges and fetishes. Attraction based through fetishes are conditional, and that's not a good basis for a lasting relationship. If she cares about you, and you her, you'd be doing some really large discussions about your lives, what you want from them outside of sex and fetishes, and if she would value your autonomy if you decided you were to ever decide to stop gaining or lose the weight. If gaining weight is the only way to please her and make her happy, and not the merits of who you are as a person off and on the scale, it will not be a fulfilling relationship for either of you and may wind up with you resenting that you uprooted your life for her. I know a lot of that was very real talk, but there is a lot more risk in this situation because of her having a child and because it seems as though a LOT of your interactions are based on your shared fetish. I'd rather give you things to think about and take into great consideration before making a choice like this, especially for being younger without as much experience in life under your belt. But ultimately the decision is your own, but do think through this carefully. Because you aren't just affecting her life or your own, you're affecting her child's too.

I'm actually looking forward to this title as well and can't wait for when it drops!

Well, need not wait anymore because the anime video has dropped!! Also, good news, I've got a job again, so that's why I've been MIA a bit more than I'd like to be. It's a full time customer service position so by the end of the day I"m usually a bit drained to say the least, unfortunately. But hoping to be a bit more active once my ex and I get everything moved around since we've decided to move rooms and such to allow for a bit better privacy and things like that. But enjoy the video y'all!! =3

Here I talk about the anime that I've enjoyed in the past and things I've watched in my anime history! https://youtu.be/gYsAR5ZwUJk

I think it honestly depends on the area in which you're looking to seek fame and wealth from. I don't think it's necessarily that you can't be fat and attain a high ranking position, but rather how you carry yourself and how well you dress. That external polished look and confidence is pretty much what winds up selling, at least in my opinion.

Aww man, that's such a hard spot to be in to be honest. Especially when you like someone but you don't feel as though your hobbies and interests won't click. What I would say is maybe explain that to her? I know it would suck to have a possible connection squashed, but in all honesty, it's better to be honest about it so that you both can make a decision of what you'd like to do in regards to you guys potentially getting together, especially moreso if you know that it might cause some issues down the line. Plus, you may never know if she would be okay with stuff like that unless you ask her and lay it open. At this point, it's purely speculation, and thinking about that stuff, and overthinking in general can lead to a lot of assumptions rather than truth. Hope that helps though and I wish you nothing but good luck in this!

Thank you so much for the purchase and I'm glad you enjoyed it!! =D

Hi there, I'm Ayu 😃

Yeah, usually this sub section doesn't see as much foot traffic unfortunately =/

Hey thank you very much! I personally really love making videos and rambling and it means a lot to hear people say they still enjoy my rambling is so nice! It's also cool knowing you'd be interested in a set if I decided to do one where I'm at now is really reassuring and I appreciate that! While I'm not sure if I would, it's something for me to consider if I did, but as of right now, that'll be a tabled thought. But thank you once again! 😃