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AnnaOli

Being a Feedee and learning about yourself

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As a fat girl that enjoys her food, i always loved to eat, and with that, came a huge amount of weight that i have learned to embrace and love, i Always wondered how did the people around your life, boyfriends, dates, and so on reacted as you told them about who you really are? Are people in your life aware of your feedee or feeder tendencies, how did you talked to them about it or approached the topic.

 

I know it is a delicate one to approach if the person you are with is not part of our community, our lifestyle, but i am curious about it.

 

When it comes to me, a lot of my early life boyfriends where not really FA’s More like closet ones, that indoors loved me and my eating habits, but on the streets were ashamed of how big i was, how fat i was and so on. Most of them did not understood my love for food or my need to have dinner two to four times a night. (The hunger is real.)

 

Until i could understand how my life worked towards my feedee and gainer tendencies, i suffered a lot because i often felt self conscious due to past boyfriends, and one boyfriend was particularly good to me, when i asked him if i was too fat for him after i gained a substancial amount of weight in a short time and he said he enjoyed more of me.

 

From that point on, i realized, that being fat and enjoying being fat was not a problem, and i ended up using that a steping stone to enjoy myself free of guilt and any negativity towards how i enjoy my food and my size. I ended up realizing that i did not needed to date people who were closet Fa’s or anything like that, the man would have to be proud of his super sized girl, or walk away, because i will not shed a single pound for anybody.

 

After i embraced myself as a feedee and a gainer, i ended up being very open about it, and i realize that most people are not ready to deal with this kind of thing yet, but i like to come clean with everyone i met regarding my lifestyle choice be a person from outside our community, or someone from the inside.

 

But i want to know, how it was for you people, lets share stories and experiences.

WhatsApp Image 2020-04-29 at 01.50.46.jpeg

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i do love to talk about this. for me... at the beginning i did have to explain to my mom why i was dating chubby girls only. but with time they have come to accept that i just prefer curves and a girl with big appetite. the thing is i have never had the chance to be with someone really big , that is still something pending in my book. as for the ladies... for the FA man it is detinifely easier. but for the ladies it is a lot more difficult because they have to deal with backlash almost on a constant basis , every time the environment changes i guess. and it requires a lot of courage to say hell yeah i love eating and gaining and i will get absolutely huge

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For the longest time I would only date thinner women. I don't know if I thought the backlash from friends and family wouldn't be worth it, or maybe I was ashamed of who I was? Hard to say. I guess I always hoped I could find a thinner girl with an appetite and hope they plumped up as the relationship progressed.

Early on I was incredibly socially awkward anyway so I only went on a few dates here or there that never went anywhere. During and after college I changed in a big way and it made me more attractive to a lot of women and more confident in myself as well. At that point I decided fuck it, I know what I like and there's no use denying it. I met a nice girl on a dating site and we really hit it off and shortly after became exclusive. She wasn't THAT big per se, but had a bit of a belly for sure and the butt to back it up; she was definitely at least overweight if not on the border of obese. I didn't care what my parents or friends would think, all I cared about was that she had an amazing personality and a rockin' bod to boot.

I told her pretty early on that I had a preference for larger women. I didn't go too deeply into detail but I made sure she knew if she wanted to know more all she had to do was ask and I would go into as much detail as she wanted. She was honestly really cool with it (she kept saying you like what you like).

Fast forward 4 or so years and we're still together. She knows basically everything there is to know apart from what my size limit is (she never asked and it doesn't really come up in conversation). We have had our ups and downs, she has gone into catastrophic weight loss mode a few times and I always made it clear that I would support her but I liked her better bigger. Eventually something seemed to click and now, 100 or so pounds later, she seems comfortable with her body and eating what she wants. The only thing she wants is to be healthy which I absolutely encourage, get that blood pumping and there will be extra food as a reward!

I think if for whatever reason we were to part ways, I would continue being open to any future partners from the get-go, or just dating people I know to be feedees beforehand. They will find out eventually so why not set expectations early so both parties can exit gracefully if needed and you're not stuck in a bad relationship. All in all I'm glad I took that approach and hope anyone on the fence will give it a try as well. You never know where it could lead :)

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On 5/4/2020 at 7:33 AM, makeamove said:

I think if for whatever reason we were to part ways, I would continue being open to any future partners from the get-go, or just dating people I know to be feedees beforehand. They will find out eventually so why not set expectations early so both parties can exit gracefully if needed and you're not stuck in a bad relationship.

<— This. 
 

You don’t need to tell them on the first date, but if it’s an important part of who you are, you should mention it early on in the relationship. No matter what happens next, you’re better off in the long run. 
 

And you never know how things might wind up! 😉

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@AnnaOli fat, gaining and feedism from my teens to now, is all that really has interested me. The problem is that I heard many people around me call it "evil" and "disgusting". They saw it only as abusive - not something that was mutual and pleasurable. I repressed it for many years. It has only been in the last two years that I have learned to embrace it and not care. The problem is now socialising is harder. So I would describe myself as a feedee who seeks support from others. But that is also constantly changing. But a lack of objective openness about it for many, many years is something I regret. 

But there is the future. Who knows where things will lead. I am ready to be honest about it now ❤️

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None of my relatives are aware about my kinky inclinations: it doesn't concerns them anyway. They know I've flirted and had a few stories alongside women of the heavier side and don't mind dating them, but in spite their paradoxical reticences about it they're well-aware that my tastes has been heavily influenced by our cultural heritage (being of African descent) .

 

A former friend of mine was somehow aware about it, as well as my former feedees. The list of people who knows it and can remember about it is pretty brieve.

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(edited)

Thanks for sharing your story. I don't have any experience dating anyone who is plus size. I have not meet anyone who has interested me in their interests. Hearing this aspect provides context of what not to do for someone who is plus size. I am not sure how someone could hide from someone based on being ashamed of how society will look at them. To me that shows that they are too self conscious of the world.

Edited by STCChristopher
I wanted to add more context to my comment.

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Guest ItalianBHM
On 4/29/2020 at 12:52 AM, AnnaOli said:

 

As a fat girl that enjoys her food, i always loved to eat, and with that, came a huge amount of weight that i have learned to embrace and love, i Always wondered how did the people around your life, boyfriends, dates, and so on reacted as you told them about who you really are? Are people in your life aware of your feedee or feeder tendencies, how did you talked to them about it or approached the topic.

 

I know it is a delicate one to approach if the person you are with is not part of our community, our lifestyle, but i am curious about it.

 

When it comes to me, a lot of my early life boyfriends where not really FA’s More like closet ones, that indoors loved me and my eating habits, but on the streets were ashamed of how big i was, how fat i was and so on. Most of them did not understood my love for food or my need to have dinner two to four times a night. (The hunger is real.)

 

Until i could understand how my life worked towards my feedee and gainer tendencies, i suffered a lot because i often felt self conscious due to past boyfriends, and one boyfriend was particularly good to me, when i asked him if i was too fat for him after i gained a substancial amount of weight in a short time and he said he enjoyed more of me.

 

From that point on, i realized, that being fat and enjoying being fat was not a problem, and i ended up using that a steping stone to enjoy myself free of guilt and any negativity towards how i enjoy my food and my size. I ended up realizing that i did not needed to date people who were closet Fa’s or anything like that, the man would have to be proud of his super sized girl, or walk away, because i will not shed a single pound for anybody.

 

After i embraced myself as a feedee and a gainer, i ended up being very open about it, and i realize that most people are not ready to deal with this kind of thing yet, but i like to come clean with everyone i met regarding my lifestyle choice be a person from outside our community, or someone from the inside.

 

But i want to know, how it was for you people, lets share stories and experiences.

WhatsApp Image 2020-04-29 at 01.50.46.jpeg

Throughout my life, I've always been on the larger side...and loved larger or even truly fat women. Also, just something about the lifestyle of indulgence really clicked for me, and was made stronger by pictures I'd see, or 'weight gain cartoon episodes', or...as in my 20s, when the yahoo groups were still a thing...I'd hear about others exploring this. Made me realize I was not alone.

The journey of self acceptance for me was NOT easy! I had always had very fat-phobic and critical relatives/family friends. So loving the lifestyle of indulgence, and admiration of large women was something I used to keep to myself. It took me years, but with help from these communities, and a past relationship with a likeminded woman, I learned that this was me. It wasn't going away, and I could either embrace who I am or live miserably trying to please other people.

Glad that I made the decision to say the HECK with what others think. My family still doesn't know about the fact that I have gained on purpose for pleasure, but I make NO apologies for my size, and the fact that I prefer to date larger women. 

I think the most amount of "negative comments" I got were from relatives during the time I was with my ex girlfriend. She and I both loved to cook, were mutually intrigued by the idea of weight gain/indulgence, and we both ended up gaining a substantial amount while we were together. But by then, I didn't care anymore.

Its still tough to deal with at times, but I feel much more liberated being who I am and not feeling ashamed these days. I'm always glad for communities like these where we can all be ourselves and share experiences.

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