telling my gf about the community soon.. (Intro stage)

[funfact123]

(this is not our whole relationship, this post regards just the area of physical attraction in a relationship). So i've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. She was at her biggest when I met her, but has been thinner for majority of the relationship. She is naturally curvy with thick attributes and fluctuates within a 10 lb range frequently. Im not pushing to change who she is, but i feel like we have this last void we are yet to reach to emphasize our physical life that much more. I say we and not I, because she loves when I play with her curves, but I hint at times during so how much I love her extra chub on her belly, butt, and thighs. She doesn't think about her intake of food as this 10 lb range she always goes back and forth on is usually based on her stress levels (work, school, etc.). She usually is always eating high calorie fatty foods by the day and doesn't work out that much. In addition she likes to be "taken care" of 99% of the time. I am yet to tell her this whole feedee/feederism thing, as she only knows I like some curves on women. What I get from all of this is that she might actually like gaining some weight and being a bit thicker and showcasing her path of a journey. This would be a journey for the both of us to emphasize our physical attraction for each other (not that we don't or have a great sex life), but I feel like there has been this void waiting to be filled. So im going to finally talk to her about it this weekend and hopefully come back here with the seed planted to this journey. 

*feedback is appreciated, I want to show her all about the feedee/feederism community.

Current picture. (more to come) 

 

[LaPatronDeFam]

She looks good dude. Good luck with it!

[funfact123]

Thank you! shes been plumping up naturally, wondering what is going to happen when she indulges deeper... 

[slobodan33]

she is very cute.  i would appreciate her with more pounds 

[Komorebi9]

Hey! I agree, she's attractive and has a nice shape naturally.

So, my feedback... I'm a girl your age (checked your profile) so perhaps my perspective might be useful?

I personally don't like the concept of feederism. For me, it just doesn't fit with what I need or want out of life or my relationships. One of the turnoffs is the health stuff - I already have chronic back pain, stress fractures in my foot, and while my blood pressure and such is great, I would feel much more comfortable if I lost weight rather than gained it. It's off-putting for me that a partner might find pleasure in my ballooning up, while I'm stuck existing inside something painful 24/7. Another turnoff is that I don't wish to relinquish control over my body to another person - I want final say, no matter what! I don't want someone else to decide what makes me attractive, or get to tell me I'm less pretty if I don't follow along.

However, it really sounds like you're coming from a very respecting and loving place. You've paid attention to her habits, and it doesn't sound like you're suggesting anything too extreme, even if she shared the kind of worries I have. That she seems to enjoy the attention to her curves seems like a great sign, and since her fluctuations indicate she eats for comfort, the freedom to eat as she pleases could feel quite liberating for your girlfriend!

You come across as self-aware and sensitive enough to her needs that I feel confident in saying you'll handle this upcoming conversation well. My recommendations would be that you take care to reassure her of your complete interest and attraction to her no matter the sizes she's been. You're into her for more than looks, but you appreciate the benefits that come with her being heavier and you'd like to go for it! Also, if you have some sort of physical ideal you'd love for her to reach, outlining that should help - are you looking for her to gain and keep those extra 10lbs? Do you want her about 30 pounds heavier? Is there a goldilocks point for her to aspire towards? Having a goal/limit can be comforting!!

Good luck on your talk! You'll do fine

 

[funfact123]

Thank you ! This is a very honest, well-thought out response. 

And the end of the day, i try to do my part of make her feel comfortable and motivated in this relationship. We aren't perfect obviously, but one thing we share is great physically connectivity. Based off never bringing up feederism and showing her my attraction towards her curves and belly, she has never disregarded me to stop (playing with her fat on her belly and thighs , which tends to be areas where you would think your partner wouldn't want to be highlighted). 

on that note: I am bringing this up to tell her in-depth this kink sort of speak (not lifestyle), in hope that she feels comfortable to want to try some feederism tendencies. That it could or could not enhance an area in our relationship towards a deeper comfort, and motivation level. based off what I've said of her showing some hints of interest and some other factors, if gaining and plumping up is something we want to go for, I would say about 10-15lb at first. Her body puts on weight very evenly, and when she is a bit heavier she knows she gets extra attention from me haha. 

she knows by now how much I love to play with her belly and she knows I enjoy her body when she's thicker. She is yet to see the resources of this kink, so I think responses like yours help very much and I appreciate you taking the time to give a side from a non-feedee angle. 

 

[Guest pangzi]

2 hours ago, Komorebi9 said:

You come across as self-aware and sensitive enough to her needs that I feel confident in saying you'll handle this upcoming conversation well. My recommendations would be that you take care to reassure her of your complete interest and attraction to her no matter the sizes she's been. You're into her for more than looks, but you appreciate the benefits that come with her being heavier and you'd like to go for it!

Good advice here!

I personally advocate being open with all of your sexual ticks and kinks.  The worst thing that can really happen is that she isn't into it.  Some people people like feedism, etc., and some people don't.  She may well like it, or she may not.

After telling my girlfriend, she definitely wasn't into it, and yet I'm still really glad I did.  You can't truly be your own authentic self around her unless you're open about who you are.  The more open you are about this, the closer you'll be to finding what you're really looking for.

She may be intrigued or interested and dive right in.  If she isn't, while it's definitely a disappointment to learn that you can't have something you really desire, your girlfriend isn't going to run screaming, hate you, or what have you.  This disappointment is better than struggling silently for who knows how long, never communicating or sharing your personal desires. 

[funfact123]

*getting to the comfort level to where we're at now, she likes the idea more and more of new ways to be dominated and controlled. That's where I bring this up as a kink, still wanting her to be active with me at times I would never push for this to be a lifestyle on her. If anything I get a sense she might really like the idea of gaining weight and getting fatter. And would possibly surpass my limits of how envolved we get into it. I'm excited to see what kind direction we go and I think sharing the process on here will be good for us as well. 

[Guest DailyDose]

4 hours ago, Komorebi9 said:

Another turnoff is that I don't wish to relinquish control over my body to another person - I want final say, no matter what! I don't want someone else to decide what makes me attractive, or get to tell me I'm less pretty if I don't follow along.

 

I apologize to say this, but that's not how it works normally.

[Komorebi9]

14 minutes ago, DailyDose said:

I apologize to say this, but that's not how it works normally.

Would you mind explaining it to me, then? I'm always interested in learning and I'd hate to be making unfounded assumptions.

[Ryan Lochete]

4 hours ago, Komorebi9 said:

Would you mind explaining it to me, then? I'm always interested in learning and I'd hate to be making unfounded assumptions.

This may be true for yourself and many other ladies who are more dominant, but if you talked to a little or someone who likes to be a submissive then this would be very untrue. Some people love to be told what to do, what to wear, how much they should eat or not eat. Some people take it too far with the rules for their subs but for the most part Daddys and Mommys are normally more dominant and little girls or little boys are not (I'm not talking about kids in any way) 

[Komorebi9]

2 minutes ago, Poodle Corp said:

This may be true for yourself and many other ladies who are more dominant, but if you talked to a little or someone who likes to be a submissive then this would be very untrue. Some people love to be told what to do, what to wear, how much they should eat or not eat. Some people take it too far with the rules for their subs but for the most part Daddys and Mommys are normally more dominant and little girls or little boys are not (I'm not talking about kids in any way) 

I was speaking on what I personally found a turnoff about the arrangement, and not meant to be taken as a generalization. I'm cool with people having different kinks, but that just isn't one of mine. What confuses me is if DailyDose's comment is saying that my understanding of the scenario itself is off? Or was it meant more along the lines of your comment, that in most relationships what you've said is more normal? Again, I'm not trying to say people shouldn't be into it, just explaining why I myself don't go for it.

[funfact123]

2 hours ago, Komorebi9 said:

I was speaking on what I personally found a turnoff about the arrangement, and not meant to be taken as a generalization. I'm cool with people having different kinks, but that just isn't one of mine. What confuses me is if DailyDose's comment is saying that my understanding of the scenario itself is off? Or was it meant more along the lines of your comment, that in most relationships what you've said is more normal? Again, I'm not trying to say people shouldn't be into it, just explaining why I myself don't go for it.

Just to throw out a personal opinion on this topic. people take on lifestyle changes to conform to a social norm or someone they are attracted too in ways beyond these kinks. I dont even like putting myself into certain cultures because I believe individualism is within everyone and that shared interests is simply just a shared interest. I portrayed myself as a dominant in the relationship, and for some aspects especially sexually I do like taking on that role and she enjoys that. However, thats not cohesive in our relationship. She motivates me in ways that can be portrayed as dominance, but really its just having more experience or more passion for a certain subject. Everyones point of view is a belief not a truth for one another and believing in something that is reciprocated with a partner is enough to keep within our roots of driving towards emotional factors rather then basic conformity. I see both point of views on this, in a sense that some people are conforming to false motivation of what self confidence is and others who seek confidence truly at any physical size. I think this is almost a textbook kink to some who need to figure out what social norm they are trying to break out of to be honest with themselves. Summarizing this, my girlfriend weight fluctuates with stress. When shes stressed she doesn't eat much and tends to lose weight. When shes content, shes doing more things in her personal life and she eats the things she enjoys and our sex life is more passionate because I am more passionate to see her more confident to be more natural. with that, if she is into gaining some weight and being a little plumper out of sex appeal, let it just be that and Ill only acknowledge to do that if thats what she wants to do for her and for me. I have put my life to standstill to make her happy and so has she, so this is the forum to showcase feedee/feederism as an attraction thats balanced and a self-awareness test to see if this is something that trickles into making us happier overall. 

[Ryan Lochete]

This feels like a university class now lol

[funfact123]

23 minutes ago, Poodle Corp said:

This feels like a university class now lol

Woken 

[funfact123]

 

 

[funfact123]

this sums up what she thinks about letting herself go a bit more and involving feederist type things. 

 

Heres a a picture of her struggling to get in pants that use to fit her. She loves her ass and if she puts on weight she said she wants it to go to her butt  

[donnied80]

2 hours ago, funfact123 said:

this sums up what she thinks about letting herself go a bit more and involving feederist type things.

It seems your girlfriend has a really great attitude towards your kinks, which she seems to share herself.

And she has a gorgeous body too. Both when she is slimmer and when she gain a few getting that beautifully rounded and thicker tummy.

From my experience I'd say: share everything. My girlfriend knew from the beginning that I like 'some meat on the bones' and also that I prefer to see a girl with a good appetite at table rather than a picky eater. She had a good laugh, she told me that I would have seen plenty of her appetite (because she likes her food), but probably not much meat on her bones, because she was 'naturally skiny'.

She also was happy for my frankness, and delighted she could indulge at restaurants knowing that as an extra benefit she was making her boyfriend happier.

But years of indulgence and pampering finally started to add a few pounds on her, which she accepted with surprise and another laugh, since she knew how much I was liking it. She also almost never felt the urge of seriously dieting, which led to more pounds and generally more fun, even if from time to time she complains about not fitting in her old clothes.

There was no forcing in it, maybe some encouragement but nothing more, because that was what better suited both of us. Being open from the beginning made us both enjoy to the fullest her journey from thin to chubby, with no regrets.

I think it would have been different if someone had told her 'I want to make you fat', which sound more like 'feederism', and we are not into it. But that's different from couple to couple.

So, enjoy your journey, you've started very well and I'm so curious to follow you in this experience!! Keep us updated please!

[Guest pangzi]

7 hours ago, funfact123 said:

this sums up what she thinks about letting herself go a bit more and involving feederist type things. 

Heres a a picture of her struggling to get in pants that use to fit her. She loves her ass and if she puts on weight she said she wants it to go to her butt  

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Sounds like you're doing it right.   As long as you respect people and don't try to force them to do anything they don't want to do, all's good.

You don't have to show your girlfriend everything all at once.  Just bring over some food, have fun, maybe rub her belly.  Whatever seems fun and natural. 

[funfact123]

5 hours ago, donnied80 said:

It seems your girlfriend has a really great attitude towards your kinks, which she seems to share herself.

And she has a gorgeous body too. Both when she is slimmer and when she gain a few getting that beautifully rounded and thicker tummy.

From my experience I'd say: share everything. My girlfriend knew from the beginning that I like 'some meat on the bones' and also that I prefer to see a girl with a good appetite at table rather than a picky eater. She had a good laugh, she told me that I would have seen plenty of her appetite (because she likes her food), but probably not much meat on her bones, because she was 'naturally skiny'.

She also was happy for my frankness, and delighted she could indulge at restaurants knowing that as an extra benefit she was making her boyfriend happier.

But years of indulgence and pampering finally started to add a few pounds on her, which she accepted with surprise and another laugh, since she knew how much I was liking it. She also almost never felt the urge of seriously dieting, which led to more pounds and generally more fun, even if from time to time she complains about not fitting in her old clothes.

There was no forcing in it, maybe some encouragement but nothing more, because that was what better suited both of us. Being open from the beginning made us both enjoy to the fullest her journey from thin to chubby, with no regrets.

I think it would have been different if someone had told her 'I want to make you fat', which sound more like 'feederism', and we are not into it. But that's different from couple to couple.

So, enjoy your journey, you've started very well and I'm so curious to follow you in this experience!! Keep us updated please!

 

Yeah im excited to see what this journey has to offer! thank you for sharing your experience, sounds like you guys have a solid connection to do so for each other like that. Have you ever shown her a look into this community through sites like this? 

[funfact123]

1 hour ago, pangzi said:

Sounds like you're doing it right.   As long as you respect people and don't try to force them to do anything they don't want to do, all's good.

You don't have to show your girlfriend everything all at once.  Just bring over some food, have fun, maybe rub her belly.  Whatever seems fun and natural. 

 

I hope to think. just trying to make the process flow right. Today should be a good experience trying to see what she does with some feeding tendencies..  

[Guest mrjeff]

Pretty exciting @funfact123. We are all waiting in anticipation for an update.

[funfact123]

exciting news! I took her out to dinner tonight to talk about things and she asked about the food and sex thing.. I basically felt the courage to tell her everything about this kink as far as, food involvement and getting thicker. She took it really well and was curious to try it out, which I was siked to hear! She wanted to be apart of this for us and see what its like. I showed her this forum and she also felt relived in a sense that I was more transparent. So here we are starting to play with the idea and shes never been camera shy.... 

 

 

 

 

 

[ambelic]

zang, awesome news!  how big is she planning on getting?

killer pics btw, stoked to see where this goes

[funfact123]

22 minutes ago, ambelic said:

zang, awesome news!  how big is she planning on getting?

killer pics btw, stoked to see where this goes

i don't know just tapping into the experience..