Where do you draw the line between a fetish and an unacceptable perversion?

[PreyToGod]

A slightly dark topic and I don’t mean to rouse any witch hunts but is it really kink shaming to state that I find the immobility, health issues and death feedism aspect unsettling as it seems more like a perversion that needs to be discussed with a mental health professional rather than indulged especially when it leaves fantasy and enters reality. 
 

Having spoken to many folks including models it seems that the basis for that extreme side of the fetish is oftentimes less about attraction and appreciation and more about dominance and power play - I’m aware those are common dynamics in a lot of fetishes but unlike say BDSM this seems especially destructive and cannot be confined to the bedroom. Of course we’re all adults and have the agency to make our own decisions  (not quite as much as we like to believe but that’s another topic) but this whole corridor of the kink seems to be riddled with exploitation of mental illness, self-hatred, and general imprudence - plus it’s not only their life that they’re affecting, as it’s going to put a toll on the healthcare system when issues inevitably arise and employment becomes almost impossible etc.

 

I realise this is a fairly minor sect of the broader community but I remember that the top tags on fe@bie are often death feedism and immobility, and a few models I’ve chatted to have mentioned that they were shaken by messages they received one guy offering them a large sum of money if they gained to the point of immobility and hospitalisation (and they offered to pay any medical expenses). One was so disturbed she left the scene or at least that was the last thing she said before her account disappeared. 
 

Or I know of at least one lady who has a pregnancy/ breeding kink and got knocked up purely to indulge it with no desire to have a child. To her credit she has stepped up and taken on motherhood duties but the rationale is fucking revolting and irresponsible. 
 

Some regard feedism the same way but I don’t think that’s a fair assessment, and I can argue why well enough. 
 

Where do you draw the line between fetishism and unacceptable perversion? 
 

Are there any corridors of this fetish labyrinth that you refuse to accept? 

[Guest SpcMRN18]

I suppose it comes down to the person who wants to gain the weight themselves (due to a number of reasons/factors), then there are those who were say, skinny but find themselves to be more attractive if they showed off their soft curves as an example. 
Depends on how far they go, where I personally don't mind at all with each person's choice - not for me to say otherwise and sometimes encouraging helps them if they're facing any problems tbh.
But an interesting topic you've brought up @PreyToGod. Makes those who read it think for sure

[FitGuy123]

Not a fan of people hurting themselves by eating themselves out of “normal “ life.  
Not a fan of pics of people bent over eating like an animal.

Absolutely hate people posting about gas, burps, farts, etc…

 

[GetOutOfMyCarNow]

The distinction between "a fetish and an unacceptable perversion" is undefined and vague. Maybe it would make things clearer if you asked: "Where do you draw the line between a healthy and unhealthy fetish?" This more or less answers itself.

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Absolutely hate people posting about gas, burps, farts, etc…

And I absolutely hate the thought of having sex with another man. By your logic, I guess that means anyone attracted to a man is a pervert.

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I don’t mean to rouse any witch hunts

That's already where this thread is going.

[PreyToGod]

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15 hours ago, GetOutOfMyCarNow said:

Maybe it would make things clearer if you asked: "Where do you draw the line between a healthy and unhealthy fetish?" This more or less answers itself.

 

I don't think it is necessarily that obvious, and subjective as we can already see by one of the above comments. 

I would draw the line where it starts to have a substantial negative impact on oneself or others or seems to be predicated in trauma or self-hate or something that shouldn't be embraced, which poses questions about the origins of fetishes and how to manage very egregious ones that aren't eradicable. But then I've talked with someone who sees nothing wrong with someone eating themselves to death if that's what they decide to do, or a death feedism relationship between two consenting adults. 

[Guest They keep getting fatter]

Taboo is alluring, and I think it's one of the main reasons why we're here. But I would draw the line at becoming Travis Bickle. Remember in Taxi Driver how Bickle was so creepy and socially out of touch that he took his date to a porn theater like it was the most normal thing in the world? Never go full Bickle.

One thing is exploring the edges. Another thing is falling down the rabbit hole, where the FBI awaits you at the bottom.

[OhRlyeh?]

I tend to draw the line at consent and containment, which is to say all parties involved know and accept risks and responsibilities and are willing participants and that the fetish is the hurting someone else. Beyond that, do your thing. I don't necessarily approve of what can be seen as self-destructive behavior, but its not my place to stop it and not my place to shame it.

[GetOutOfMyCarNow]

On 10/8/2023 at 2:08 AM, PreyToGod said:

I don't think it is necessarily that obvious, and subjective as we can already see by one of the above comments. 

 

It might not make things completely obvious, but it at least gives us a better guideline by which to approach the question: is the sexual practice having a  harmful or unhealthy effect on the person who has it and/or the people involved in it? That gives us some criteria by which to answer the question that I don't think the original way you posed it gives us, because whether something is "unacceptable" seems like a much more subjective matter than whether it's harmful. When FitGuy123 started complaining about burping, for example, he was just telling us what he finds unacceptable, which is completely subjective. But if we frame it as a question about what's harmless or harmful, then individual attitudes are irrelevant and the answer, I think, is in principle an objective one.

 

[extra_m13]

the line can be at very different places for different people, to me... it all depends. if everything is going well and there are no health alarms, you can go on. if some health concerns arise the lady, not us, has to make a conscious decision now whether to continue on the path or making some changes. unfortunately there are some harsh consequences of being extremely overweight for a very long time and as many other bad habits we must acknowledge that, i know we are all going to die but it doesn0t have to be before 50 and with a very poor quality of life 

[Chevalier]

Those die-hards, pun intended, hardly develop over time.  Gotta work on that pullout game 😉

[Guest IAmGivingGoodAdvice]

IMHO it has to do with health and consent

[extra_m13]

health and consent for sure are key factors. if your lady is 620pounds and you panic when she eats an apple and only want to see her have fast food and get to 650 then, you are probably being a selfish prick because life is not likely to be ver good for her at that point. 

[FitGuy123]

Models who post covered in food, get immediately “ignored “.