Welcome to my blog ❤️My diary❤️My journey❤️
So I'm tucked up in bed with the flu sipping on honey and lemon thinking this is now the perfect time to answer the unanswered question I get asked daily 'what made me decide to gain'.. well it all started when I started dating a fitness instructor someone I grew very close to and spent a good few years with.. things started great I was a healthy size 14 weighing in just over 10 and half stone.. heavier than I am now ? Hell yes!! I was happy and I loved food. I loved my junk food kebabs,burgers,pizzas you name it but this had to stop..I mean I was dating a fitness instructor for god sake he was obsessed with going gym and eating healthy so I began to clone him and was pressured to get trim and real quick.. the healthy meals started coming in and daily workouts.. my weight just wasn't shifting though.. could of been the fact that when he was at work I would sneak out to the burger van every now and then,it would park up just at the end of the industrial estate and I would treat myself to the biggest bacon and sausage muffin you could imagine and hide whatever trace there was left over of it. The pressure became to much and I became stressed so I would spend my days on the net searching how to get 'slim' trying every diet there was going.. nothing was working for me and I began to felt so unhappy in myself so I finally made the decision to try 'slimming capsules/diet pills' I knew nothing about these but the reviews looked good so thought I'd give them go, I didn't care what was in them I just needed to get slim quick.. BAM! I thought I hit jackpot. The weight started to drop off me, within as little as a month I was seeing results. Relationship broke at this point and we moved our separate ways. I had become weight obsessed and work outs were becoming more regular, within several months my weight had dropped from 10 stone 9 to around 9stone7 I was now 'slim' not skinny but jus slim. My obsession to keep this weight off became so stressful it was unreal. I would come home from a meal with friends and just work out til I felt content enough that I had burned those calories off. This became my dark obsession! All I could concentrate on was staying slim.. I would set myself rules like 'don't eat after 6pm' 'go for jogs at certain times' 'no carbs today' the excessive dieting starting taking its toll I became tired and drained not to mention the dieting pills wasn't doing my body any good either but I'm saving that story for another day .. anyway it become a chore to me and I couldn't be bothered anymore, at this point I had dropped another stone! I had gone from around 9stone7 to 8stone7 and I became 'skinny'. This wasn't a good look I'd gone too far with it and people were commenting on my extreme weight loss. Weighing 8 stone 7 was probably the most draining point of my life. I lost my glow and I felt ugly. I knew I had to stop. So I did.
A year on and I've climbed back up to around 9 half stone and continuing...I haven't actually stepped on a set of scales in several months so I'm nervous but excited. My next weigh in video.. maybe.. who knows.. but the real reason behind my weight gain is jus to be sexier, happier and FREE to do what the hell I want without stress and pressure and I'm absolutely loving it
Goddess shar X x