scissortooth

Amen.

Well I can just contribute with one thing - I didn't have significant sleep apnea (I think) but I snored a lot, and wife did tell me sometimes it sounds like I take "a break from breathing" at night. Not that I'm very big, 200 lbs at 5'7" is not that much for a guy, especially of my build. That being said, the usual advice is to lose weight but in my case it was enough just stop eating anything significant 5-6 hours before going to sleep - which I learned when I tried mild intermittent fasting. And there you have it, little to no snoring and I do wake up feeling much better and with more energy. Interestingly enough, my allergy also got milder since then and I rarely feel sleepy during the day whereas before I had a hard time not having a nap during the day if I didn't stuff myself with caffeine.

First of all... congrats! Secondly... does that mean she will not watch out more in terms of her weight? Or actually the other way round?

Well, all good things come to an end :D. At least temporarily. She got the meal plan and has been sticking to it so far, although she confessed on multiple occasions that while is not going hungry, she keeps thinking of having something more "standard". Today she has her surgery and I just dropped her off at the clinic and I'm now sitting at home and keeping my fingers crossed. I'm curious what effect the surgery will have, as it is supposed to not only help with pregnancy but fix her hormonal problems to some degree too - which may also have an impact on her weight in some way. Also, perhaps it will also stabilise her mood a bit more. There's a lot of question marks here so only time will tell.

Whoa, didn't update in a while. Not that there is that much to update about, but in recent months wife DEFINITELY gained weight. I'm just not sure how much. I can feel it, it shows in her face and she has been complaining about "not being able to keep her weight in check" between having an occasional pizza for supper or a bowl of crisps after the "normal" supper. Would love to find out her exact weight but she didn't tell me and I'm not asking, as we have a past history about her getting annoyed with me being too focused on numbers . The thing is, we've been trying for the 2nd kid but no luck so far because of her hormonal issues. She's been taking some fertility boosting meds and some of them are said to have side effects such as weigh gain or tendency to eat more, while at the same time with her condition it is often the case that a small weight loss boosts fertility too (something about switching the body to burn instead of store causes it AFAIK). Anyway, she now wants to take advantage of that latter effect so she ordered a meal plan from a dietician. It is now in preparation. And guess what my wife is doing in the meantime? Basically, enjoying her "last days of food freedom". "Last" being a small exaggeration here, because I'm quite sure she ends up dropping it at some point once it's no longer necessary for the pregnancy. But anyway... She is waiting to get the meal plan and in the meantime she basically does everything to get more weight to lose :P. Snacking, asking me for an extra sandwich, big takeouts for dinner, pizza for supper... I'm starting to think that it's a good measure of whether your SO is actually going to lose any weight in the long run. Namely: if you treat diet as something to survive through and you treat it as the end of your normal life, you won't end up losing weight. Same is if you drop your diet just because you failed to adhere to it for a day or a few. Women (or, generally, people) with that kind of approach are guaranteed not to lose anything, not lose much, or even yoyo up to higher than they were before. Also, the funny thing is that I myself actually went on a diet. Sort of. I basically went for 16-8 intermittent fasting. I expected her to jump on the wagon and, say, do not eat supper too or eat a tiny one only, considering how she usually prefers not to eat alone. Instead, she just increased the size of her meals together with me within my eating window from 8 AM to 4 PM, but keeps eating "normally" outside of it. So she basically upped her calorie intake in practice. Go figure Obviously, once the meal plan appears that will no longer be the case, but the question is - for how long? My hope is that the surgery (and perhaps the diet) will fix things quick and I will make her pregnant again before she manages to lose anything more than a couple of pounds. 3.5 years after first pregnancy started she is around 30 lbs heavier and almost back to her top weight (10 lbs short if my assumptions are correct), so I think it might not be too crazy to expect her to end up that much bigger (or more!) after the next such period, considering how it reportedly is even more difficult to shed pregnancy weight if you start at a higher weight. TL;DR: Just give me my mom-of-2, 250+ lbs wife already! 😜

That will definitely do it ;). Exercising has a really bad rep in FA community but as far as I can tell if a gal has fat genes and likes food, exercising will only make her feel better as well as improve her health. It might also build some muscle which technically cal lead to more calories burnt but it will also make carrying extra weight easier, so there is less chance of her falling into "fat panic" :P Diets are also rarely a thing to worry about because 95% of women (ignorant estimate, mind you) choose diets that are not sustainable and will sooner make them yoyo than maintain any lower weight. Just be patient :).

Don't worry that much about exercising as long as she eats a lot. She is actually right - she will feel lighter but that's about it. Only exercises + diet or really SERIOUS exercising with "normal" eating would lead to weight gain. Especially if she has such a tendency to gain. My wife actually gained faster when she started exercising, because it was an hour of exercising but easily 600 kcal more per day as she was starving in the evening later (she exercised in early evening/late afternoon).

My advice? Move in together. This might solve your problem one way or another. I advise against marrying or having kids before you have lived for at least a year together. She can try losing in the meantime, you'll see how that goes, if she's in upper BBW range it's unlikely she will ever get skinny, barring surgeries, and even then it's not guaranteed to be for life. But there is a quite likely course of events that: 1. you move in together, she starts losing. 2. losing is hard and if you work well together she may become more relaxed about her weight - that being said, if her self esteem is low, you better not be found looking on any other chicks, be it fat or skinny. 3. you get engaged, that might alleviate her presumptive fears of "what will happen if he dumps me and i'm stuck in a world where fat chicks like me are consider unattractive", and she either stops losing altogether or just decides to lose some to safeguard her health just in case but will remain quite curvy. TL;DR: Make her feel that she is in control, make her feel loved and secure, and test your relationship in the hard art of living together. And then the right choice will present itself a lot easier.

Ok, time for the more on-topic part two. The idea of "going above expectations" so to say has been a frequent element of my fantasies/stories, be it in the form of a woman who wants to let herself go for a short while but ends up spiralling out of control, a fattening plan that goes further than intended because the lady fattened is slightly "too receptive", and so on... I often fantasized of stuff like making a wish to have my wife weigh 300 lbs that would somehow get twisted into her gaining *extra* 300 lbs, or her being sent for a "fattening makeover vacation" and coming back not only fatter than intended but also looking a good bit older, like a fat middle aged matron, and so on... Loss of control is a frequent part of my fantasies, be it with regard to the woman getting fatter or my own control over how she ends up looking (to a degree). Realistically, though, I'm quite sure that with my wife's figure type the health and practicality issues on her part would kick in much sooner than any problems in terms of her attractiveness to me. She has a very nice figure for getting bigger and considering how many 400-500 lbs models still look attractive to me, I'm quite sure that it is not an issue I should worry about. That being said, I'm not a feeder, just an FA.

Considering the situation with my wife, I'm actually surprised how out of shape some of you say your partners are. At her heaviest (245 lbs), my wife was still hiking with me. She did get a bit tired when going upwards, but not to the point of losing her breath. We never went to the mountains, but long walks through hilly terrain were definitely possible back then. And that was BEFORE she started doing more exercises. There was a time she was not too fond of walking long distances, but that was not because of her fitness, but because hypothyroidism made her prone to swelling and also to getting blister on her feet whenever she went on foot. And her energy levels were lower back then, but it is not like she ever got out of breath. Also, I talked with some other girl who is now 250 lbs or so but used to be upwards of 300 lbs, up to around 320-330, I believe. She said that she does not feel any difference in terms of her fitness between these weights - the only thing that losing weight gave her was a bigger selection of clothing, she said. That being said, she had not health issues whatsoever and was having light, but regular exercise. So, it's not really the weight itself that makes someone have low fitness... At least up to some point. Wanted to also write a bit about how I feel about this whole "too big" thing, but need to take a break now so I will write another post about that aspect later.

She is ok healthwise? And how does she feel about handling a baby at this size? To be clear, I'm not asking because I want to criticise or anything. It's just that major weight gain as a result of pregnancy has been a constant topic in my fantasies about my wife, but I always thought them to be a little "dark" considering how such a major (and relatively quick) gain would impact her mobility, health, and the capability to enjoy her motherhood. Would be fun to hear a brighter side to such a story :D. Or at least a real-life one, if it's a mixed bag.

How is she handling that weight? I mean, how mobile is she and does she experience many difficulties?

I've been mostly doing drawings of various hairstyle/makeup combos as this is another major fetish of mine, but recently I tried doing two (almost)-full body shots. Sorry for quality, these are just slightly edited scans of them drawn on grid paper. Thinking of getting some cheap drawing tablet to practice further.

Women who tend to gain - relatively numerous Women who tend to gain and are cool with it to the point of, let's say, what's classified as morbid obesity - still numerous enough Women who tend to gain and are cool with it as long as their health is more or less fine - rare Women who like gaining - unicorns Women who like gaining and are into feederism - unicorns carrying a Yeti

Well guys, you must really be sending some positive energy as wifey today ordered a standard (as in: non-diet) breakfast. Three slices, thick with butter and cheese. Wholegrain bread won't prevent this from being stored in her hips and butt ;)

I couldn't "push the feeding" anyway :). My bet was that wife will stop the exercising for the pregnancy time but keep the habits. Unfortunately that won't be the case. She stopped exercising already but also went on a low glycemix index diet. She told me recently she got up to 103 kg (226 lbs) but already a week affter adopting the diet she lost 1.5 kg (3 lbs). She was hoping it would continue but that also coincided with her going on a pill to have her cycle regulated so it's quite likely that she just lost the water weight she was retaining through being in a state of permanent cycle-end PMS. Or at least that's what I'm hoping :D. Once she gets her first period (they got so irregular that she didnt have one in over 6 months) the fertility boosting meds will be in, the pill is off and I can go do my work ;). If she will be losing weight now, I hope I will get her pregnant quick enough that she can't lose much. And then in pregnancy she won't be trying to lose as it's not recommended and I will do my best to take advantage of any cravings she might have. All in all, she will be starting this pregnancy even 12-13 kg (24-26 lbs) heavier than the previous one, and statistics say that in most cases the heavier the you start, the more you gain. Also, she ALWAYS gets back to her standard eating habits (which are not bad but do end up with her gaining) after a while of diet, so I just need to wait :).

Dat belly roll

Looking good I see she got a haircut too! Good direction if you ask me ;). Any updates on weight front?

Well, guys, we're officially back to trying to get wifey pregnant for the 2nd time. The downside? In spite of previous declarations, she decided to switch to a more protein-heavy diet with less calories to boost her chances. Which may mean some weight loss but she will stop it once I knock her up so wish me effectiveness :P. The upside? She will be once again on hormonal boost which likely means she will get even more bottom heavy. Also, she starts this attempt at 100 kg (if not more) instead of 89 kg she had the last time and with a different attitude towards her weight and health (which may additionally benefit from extra relaxation once pregnancy happy hormones kick in). The baby comes first obviously but I would sure love to see my wife baloon up while she becomes mom for the 2nd time... Would love to see her end the pregnancy with a whooping 120 kg or so and snatch up 10 more during the subsequent year (thanks to cravings caused by limited slip and/or nursing), but that's more of a hope rather than a realistic scenario :P. When telling me about the "supportive" diet idea she also told me that because she got "liberal" with eating white carbs in recent months, this had a major impact on her weight. She said something along the lines of "other people eat like that and gain nothing or barely at all, while I blow up like crazy". I wonder if it means that she is heavier than I thought, but like I said above, I will have to learn it around at some point. Asking directly would be a bad idea in case of my wife. All in all, wish me a healthy second kid and a 120kg+ wife :D.

Well, the "tactic" I use the most is... nothing. I mean, you cannot convince someone who honestly thinks they are too fat not to lose weight. If they are very eager to please or very afraid of not "meeting the requirements" of their SO, sometimes a direct request or declaration of preference might work, but I'm not sure if that is sustainable. What do I do, then? First of all, I reinforce my wife's natural foodie tendencies. I cook good food, I take her out for good food (recently not so uch due to Covid and all), I buy tasty stuff... At the same time I support all actions that help her feel healthy. I avoid junk food except for occasional bag of crisps in the evening when we watch some series or a movie, I encourage her when it comes to her physical activity, we go for walks... Basically I try to make sure that any gain occurring from her love of food (and my ways of reinforcing it as well as my attempts at increasing somewhat the amount of calories she eats) does not make her feel bad. I encourage her to go to the hair salon, to go to a beautician, to spend money on any beauty supplies she likes or needs. I buy her clothes that I find sexy and that look good on her, which is a win-win - she feels sexier by herself and then feels sexier because I make her feel so too. All the self-pampering makes her feel well-groomed and downplays that feeling women sometimes seem to have that by being fat they "let themselves go". And the healthy food and physical activity make her feel healthy, strong and fit, as a result of which any TV talk of people having to lose weight to get healthy is dismissed by her as nonsense. At the same time, I do not ogle other women, I never comment positively on any woman other than her unless it's agreeing with her, and I basically make her feel like she's the only woman in the world, or at least the only one that matters to me. All of this helps alleviate the 3 frequent sources of anxiety that the society implants into fat women: that they are unattractive, that they are not healthy, and that they are prone to end up either without a relationship or in a wrong one. She feels attractive, healthy and loved. And in such conditions she really has near-zero motivation to care about the number on the scales or the measure on the tape. It obviously won't make her ENJOY gaining or staying big, but it takes away the motivation to lose or to watch her weight strictly. And this is enough in most cases. All people tend to have slower metabolism with passage of time and in case of women who want kids the pregnancy is always a time when they WILL gain unless they really want to lose the baby weight and make an effort to do it. TL;DR: I "convince" my SO not lose weight by first providing an environment in which she feels no motivation to lose weight or watch it, and then I provide opportunities for her weight to increase or at least not go down. Obviously, keeps mentioning once in a while that she could lose a pound or two. But then she does either nothing about it or does something and then aborts it after 2-3 days, having no proper motivation to do it. And for the remaining 99% of the time she just ignores her weight and is happy with life.

I got her a fitness band not long ago after she started her exercising regimen. She told me yesterday: "you know, my app shows that I'm having my PAI (physical activity indicator, IIRC) higher than 95% of other users, and at the same time it tells me my weight is higher than 95% of other users". I tell her "see, you're likely going to be in better shape than those 95% weighing less than you". And she agreed. Not likely to start losing it intentionally, it seems. Especially since she keeps noticing herself that her weight has really little to do with the health problems she's been experiencing in the past (and some still now). As far as I can tell, she is not losing any weight, maybe even quite the opposite. I've been making sure she gets a little bit of extra calories by giving her more butter or spreads in her sandwiches. Butter is just lovely for that - a block has 200 g and 100 g is at least 700 kcal. Now, imagine we are usually going through at least 100 g a day, and 2/3 of this is her portion (I use it much more sparingly). Assuming that the portion I get is, sort of, standard, she get an extra one , which means at least 250 extra calories solely from this extra butter, and on some days I think it's easily extra 400 kcal. That itself is probably enough to counter any extra burn she might get from exercise.

How old is she, if I may ask? If she keeps these habits, she will have a hard time stopping once she comes close to what she now perceives as the limit (100kg/220 lbs). I remember my wife saying that over 100 kg is a total no-go zone and then she "woke up" weighing 105 kg. Granted, she tried losing it on the spot but in the end she ended up hitting 112 kg. Still, in her case it was underactive thyroid that "helped" her gain this much. Once she had that medicated, she did start losing (down to 89 kg at lowest). But now the thyroid is now longer to blame and she again snowballed to the "unthinkable" 100 kg and it does not seem like she is going to have an easy time losing it, as she keeps gaining even though she does some intense 30-45 mins of exercising each day. At some point the weight is quite a problem for women to lose, especially if it's not in the belly but spread all around.

Well man, you're living the dream. Just don't let it backfire on her. I mean, don't let her get too fat for her own good. Or make sure she gets enough activity and decent food so as not to end up having to lose it quick. On a side note, how old are the two of you? Any kids? Or planned?

Well, well, here's one lucky bastard I wonder, how did you reply to that? And is it looking like she is just going to snowball further past 300 lbs? Also, at 5'3" and 300 lbs she must be looking quite round... It seems like there used to be a pic of her in this thread, but since it's no longer available and perhaps you don't want to post another one, may I ask what her figure is like?