Aurel

A small detail. My wife and I were watching TV last night when I heard a clinking noise. She had undone the belt and button of her size 30 jeans, leaving part of her belly protruding. I guess they were a little tight and she needed some relief. Amazingly, this wasn't a prelude or invitation to sex, we've both been exhausted from working long hours. Still, I found myself thinking - "I'll bet this isn't something husbands of thin gals typically see" 😉

Easy for me to say as an older guy, but a lot of FAs panic at the first sign of weight loss. Even if a partner loses weight, it is usually temporary, especially if the partner is a serous foodee and has a supportive mate who showers them with love fat or thin. Unless there is some tangible reason to believe the partner is a feedee (which is hardly ever the case), the wise course isn't to introduce new strains on the relationship. Rather it's to let her know how hot she is thick (without implying that she wouldn't be hot if she lost weight) and patiently ride out any weight loss. The weight will gradually return in time.

Your conception of fatphobia is distorted. Fat people are routinely denigrated, viewed as less valuable. They are paid less because they're fat. They're told over and over that they are unattractive. They seldom see fat people represented as normal people living fulfilling lives in media, film, and entertainment. Fat people are exactly like any other marginalized group: unfairly denigrated and devalued for reasons having nothing to do with their merit as human beings. That's what fatphobia is. I disagree that the main reason people don't want to be fat is health. That's part of it, certainly. But at least as important are the social costs of being fat in a fatphobic society (see above). There is simply no way that teenage girls are going "OMG I can't be fat because I am deeply concerned with my long-term physical health." Teenagers don't give a f**k about long-term anything. What they are saying is "OMG I can't be fat because then I'll be gross, no boy will want me, and the other girls will treat me like garbage." Fatphobia is the driving force. To the extent that it relaxes, we will therefore see an uptick in fat young people. There's a lot of hypocrisy in the health discourse anyway. Motorcycling is an extremely dangerous activity, 40X more likely to have accidents than cars; how come we don't have some big cultural push to abolish motorcycling, and why do we not find motorcyclists inherently unattractive because of their "unhealthy lifestyle?" Our culture is totally fine with some unhealthy behaviors and not others. So I think we need to look elsewhere for a full explanation of fatphobia.

Who knows, but I suspect the general culture of tolerance for “thicc” has contributed considerably to this. Fat phobia is a huge motivating driver for keeping people thin. Although we still live in a fatphobic society, there seems to be more openness to thick butts in particular and a general loosening of the obsession with “skinny” that was so prevalent in the 1990s, say. That’s only my impression. We’d need to hear from someone younger than me about how fat is viewed among today’s teens and 20somethings.

...of the Netflix show Wizoo School. What a knockout!

She is "doing nothing but stuff her face and gain weight..." I'm not sure what problem you're trying to solve here. Instead of wanting her to be "into it" in some explicit way, why don't you just relax and enjoy the fact that she is, whether by design or not, giving you exactly what you want? (I would guess that she is not a feedee but is just letting herself go, knowing her future hubby is fine with it. But we'd need to know more about her and the situation to make more informed guesses).

Whoa...that is a big change to the parameters of a long-standing relationship. I think extreme caution is warranted. Maybe he should begin very, very cautiously with food play in the bedroom - something that appeals even to some "normies." I wouldn't advise him to go beyond that sort of very timid start at this point.

He loves it, don't worry 😉 It's possible he is a bit embarrassed, because it is considered "weirder" to like a bigger belly than big hips and butt. He may even be conflicted about his own desires in this case. He is probably also complimenting your tighter abs just to be a nice, encouraging BF.

FWIW my wife and I were together for 5 1/2 years before getting married. She gained weight over that time, going from around 170 to around 200 lbs, didn't make the slightest effort to lose anything for the wedding (which surprised me a bit) and has kept gaining pretty much ever since 🤷‍♂️ 22 years later she is 330 lbs, so post-wedding gains were definitely real in her case, but I suppose it doesn't count if it was a gaining trajectory all along, LOL.

The key in this post is that she is jokey about your feedism rather than threatened by it. I doubt she's a feedee, but it sounds as though she likes the idea that you like her fat. As a chubby foodie she is probably thinking, "OMG, I can eat all I want around this guy - yay!" I'm not sure you should go full-on feeder with her, although if she signals she's up for it, then why not? But it sounds like you can definitely play the role of encourager and she will embrace it big-time.

Well, I think of myself more as a gentle enabler or milder encourager than a feeder per se (although I know many would deny that this is a meaningful distinction). Anyhow what I always enjoyed the most are after-effects of my partner's over-eating or self-stuffing. Sighing at being so full. Undoing her pants so her creamy belly can hang out. Being so stuffed she can barely walk from the restaurant to the car. Needing a lie down to digest. That sort of thing. Indicators of weight gain - split slacks, clothes that used to fit and now don't, struggling with restaurant booths etc. - are also very hot.

I once knew a couple that had a pact. Neither would gain weight. And if they did, it was agreed that they would lose it. Go figure.🤷‍♂️ In terms of the OP’s question, think of the old expression about “letting yourself go.” To “normies” i.e., non-FAs, it’s generally preferable to have a thin partner. If your partner then gains, it can be easily interpreted as “they are not trying any more,” which is one step removed from “I’m being taken for granted.” Obviously as an FA I don’t share this sentiment. I’m just saying that I can understand it. That being said I suspect a lot of non-FAs do see relationship weight as sort of comforting or reassuring for just the reasons the OP points out. It’s probably not magic in the bedroom, however (whereas for me, a partner’s weight gain has always been absolutely magic in the bedroom, LOL).

I’m surprised this thread hasn’t gotten more uptake! Come on, folks…you must have certain faces or ‘looks’ that you especially admire? Post and discuss.

But I will cheat and refer people also to my profile pic.

Really cool returns on this thread so far. Very interesting to see the variations in tastes. I'm totally with you on brunettes (my wife, who is a brunette, likes to tease me about this). Of the gals you list here, though, the only one that really rings my personal bell is Noomi Rapace - especially in those photos. It's that strong jawline, again, I guess!