Have you ever been scared off at any point by this fetish? FAs, feedees & feeders/resses welcome

[Joliat]

The thing is - fat people gonna be fat. 

There is an argument out there that, if we can just make being fat painful enough, everyone will be slim. It's as if the penalties for the moral sin of fatness aren't high enough. But this is obviously false. Fat people pay all the time, in all sorts of ways, for being fat. 

This being so, ratcheting the penalties up even more won't make them thin. It will just make them even more discriminated against and unhappy.

Therefore, it's not a bad thing that some of us prefer and celebrate fat partners. Au contraire, it's a good thing. Fat people gonna be fat, so thank God they have people who love them for who and what they are.

Of course, that's an argument in defence of FA-dom. It doesn't necessarily extend to feederism per se. And that's where it gets tricky. First of all, most FAs seem to have feederish tendencies to some degree or other. Most of us seem to enjoy weight gain, and almost all of us enjoy a partner who eats a lot. You could argue these are the very mild ends of a continuum that, at the far end, includes nastier manifestations like manipulating the partner into being fat, or getting off on the thought of a partner dying, etc..

As long as your partner is being pressured to become something they wouldn't be or become, left to their own nature and devices, then there's definitely a problem. Guilt is an appropriate response to that.

Being an 'enabler' is more complicated. If we start from the assumption that 'fat people gonna be fat' then loving a fat person is not 'enabling' bad behavior. It's just loving someone for who they are. My wife has a deep-seated love of food. I mean, it's profound. She made that very clear from the earliest start of our relationship - and I made it very clear that I supported and embraced that. I have trouble feeling guilty for loving her for who she is, even if that isn't the healthiest way to be in the long run. Because again: fat people gonna be fat.

At the same time, IF she decided to really go all-in and try to lose weight, I think it would be incumbent on me to support her. After all, there is no getting around the problem that being substantially overweight does statistically raise the danger of health issues. To fail to support her would be the real cause for guilt. In fact, that's true either way: we should support our partner as a fat person, and support them if they decides to try to change.If we follow that maxim, no guilt is needed. They are in charge of their lives, not you.