Why does this fetish attract so many weirdos and intellectually challenged individuals?

[jackj40]

10 hours ago, PreyToGod said:

That might be the longest thing I’ve ever written 

Gonna reply to this short one since mine is longer too, lol.

First off king, well said and I understand your frustration. I got involved with the body positive community in my teens and quickly became disillusioned as to its actual positivity. I stuck around in a misguided sense of loyalty to the cause until the mid 2010s when it became heavily politicized. Now, I am content to simply treat the people in my own life better and live by example. However, and obviously since I'm here having this discussion with you, we as humans do crave a community of like-minded peers. The issue that you are speaking on is endemic and unfortunately cancerous, but it's scope is not limited to our community and extends outward to the entire fabric of the modern world itself.

The depersonalization caused by industrial society that allows people to behave so poorly occurs due to an ease of access and a lack of consequence for such shameful behavior. Humans, as a species, have spent the majority of our existence living in small groups whose survival depended upon one another and it created a social structure dependent upon qualitative validation for prosocial action. Basically, people needed to behave themselves and treat others well because they relied upon them for their survival. We can debate whether or not technology making our survival easier is a good or a bad thing but regardless, this is the world we live in. As for fixing the problem, if indeed it can be fixed and is not an inherent result digital communication, I believe it needs both an inner and an outer approach to be successful.

While studying the rituals of hospitality of the Germanic tribes, I came across a concept that governed their rules of hospitality. Innangarth means inner enclosure and it referred to the people whom have a direct impact, in a positive way, on our lives. For them, the most intricate hospitality and civility is reserved. Utengard means outer enclosure and it referred to the collective other, for whom not malice or cruelness was accorded, simply the inverse of the regard. This compartmentalization is a necessary social development within the context of the modern world. While we can maintain civility towards the collective other, they're not deserving of our regard, especially in this context. In short, Tribe is how we thrive. Such a callousness, while unfortunate, is necessary. I prefer to think of it as an application of meritocracy.

Externally, as a community, we can shame these individuals. I know that's a hot word these days but again, without consequences, these kinds of people will only continue their behavior, they have no reason not to. Specifically here, a dedicated forum could be made where anyone can post the slimy things they say with their accounts visible. It would provide an active deterrence for such behavior. I know that probably won't happen but these kind of people would hesitate to behave that way if they knew everyone would see the things they say. Just my two cents. While we can hope that people behave with civility, we should treat people based on their actions, not how we wish they'd act.

 

 

 

 

[jackj40]

3 hours ago, imp said:

I understand the weirdo guy aspect of it. What I don't really understand are the girls: who they are, gaining motivations, ulterior motives or needs, or true believers. I think I understand some of the girls here who choose to share their stories with honesty, if not necessarily transparency. But that's not the majority. And the degree to which they behave the way the boys misbehave? I don't know that I get that at all. I know one guy recently posted about how disappointed he was and felt taken advantage of. But he didn't share anything. I couldn't tell if he was a weirdo a normal guy who got played somehow.

I believe that the commodification of intimacy has a lot to do with this. Not necessarily just within this community, but within the entire modern world. Unhealthy and unnatural bodies were promoted the marketing for the diet industry which created a large quantity of air quotes normal bodies that were considered less attractive air quotes. This has, over time, led us to create a compartmentalization of our desires somewhat separated from our normal lives air quotes and certainly facilitated by screens and the internet. The compartmentalization leads to a furtive almost obsession with overly developed desires which, in turn, leads to the sort of misbehaviors we have talked about. I'm not sure, except in very deliberate cases of abuse, but any one person is particularly to blame but we can all work on the situation by treating each other like people instead of collections of check marks for a list of fetishes, whether we are buying or selling those check marks. I'm rambling. I hope you folks have a great day. Thank you for the discourse