Guys...I desperately need advice

[gta]

I don't think there's a silver bullet answer to be had here. If you want to pursue your weight gain and feederism sexual desires in your relationship, you are greatly limiting your potential dating pool. While online dating has helped the general population, I think it honestly hinders people looking for very specific things. You are limiting yourself to profiles that indicate someone is: 1) aware of this sexual desire; 2) openly admits to this sexual desire, and places emphasis on it in their dating profile; 3) wants to aggressively pursue this sexual desire with someone. My point is, there could very well be someone out there who isn't aware of this sexual preference, but would be open to it once they were introduced to it. Or, they are aware of the sexual preference and are open to it, but don't want it to be their headline on their dating profile, which limits them to people who are into this kind of thing.

Your line "Nope, if the girl is making such extreme changes only to please me, that crosses the line. I need to find a girl who's already passionate about this kink." is very self-indulgent, and honestly narcissistic. Who says that someone making a change only pleases you? How many times have you been introduced to hobbies and interests by someone else? Do you think they did it for selfish reasons, or that you took interest in it only to please them? Part of a good relationship is discovery and understanding of one another. That's the trial and error of dating; you aren't going to find the perfect one based on a few paragraphs on a dating profile.

Even if you find someone like that out there, who is to say they are into this stuff for the long haul? How many people have come and gone in this community, saying it isn't for them anymore? What happens when they start having health complications, and need to stop doing this thing? It is very precarious to base a relationship primarily on sex life, if you're looking for a long-term relationship. I've done it in the past, it didn't work out well. It's great when you're young and the relationship is young, but it quickly complicates things as time goes on.