Finally coming 100% clean

[Guest myownway]

Well, it happened. Yesterday me and my wife were in quite a good naughty mood, and during the warm-up the conversation diverted into the topic of her recent gain and me liking it. I finally told her 100% about the fact that I do like everything about her recent gain, the fact that she crossed the 100 kilos mark included.

We both learned a few things it seems. She got 100% sure I like that she got bigger and I like everything about her body related to that. I learned the she feels very comfortable now and the only reason that she wants to try losing weight is that she wants to check whether it would fix some hormonal problems she's having. Basically, she said that ideally she'd like to go back to 85-90 kilos and see what happens then, but if it doesn't help she will cease dieting and just let her body get anyway it likes with her usual appetite, just trying not to gain too fast and not to get into the territory that would cause her to feel uncomfortable.

On one hand I regret a bit that she wants to lose basically all that she gained while we were together, but she was already damn hot when we met so I don't think it would have any impact on our sex life... Besides, her hormonal problems make her quite moody which sometimes results in quarrels, so I guess if it is to help, I'd rather have a bit smaller but happy and emotionally stable wife than bigger and emotionally unstable and therefore miserable.

But I have to say that I found found really hot about it was that she said that if it wasn't for the said problems she would just eat as much as she likes and wouldn't really mind her size, especially since I like it so much.

[Heart and Mind]

the fact that he crossed the 100 kilos mark included.

Shemale? ;D

Anyway, good luck with things from now on  :thumbsup:

[Guest myownway]

Shemale? ;D

Fast typing

Anyway, good luck with things from now on  :thumbsup:

Thanks! I only wonder if she even manages to lose that much weight (13-18 kilos, accordingly), because until now she always managed to lose 2 or 3 kg at most and then came back to the usual routine. Time will tell.

[Ayumi_Chan]

Just out of curiosity, how old is she? Perhaps could be age causing her hormones to change. Otherwise, is she taking any birth control or anything like that? I know weather also affects my moods and since it's getting cooler out and darker sooner it does make me more emotional than usual, so it could be that as well.

But that's awesome that you both are working on a situation that benefits you both. I know ideally you wouldn't want her to lose weight, but at the same time at least she was willing to say that she would be comfortable gaining weight again and seeing where her body takes her. It's nice that your conversation with her wound up being positive as I know a few talks like this have happened to wind up negatively in regards to other members.

Hopefully things will get better for your wife and her hormones are able to balance out a little more.

[Guest myownway]

Just out of curiosity, how old is she? Perhaps could be age causing her hormones to change. Otherwise, is she taking any birth control or anything like that? I know weather also affects my moods and since it's getting cooler out and darker sooner it does make me more emotional than usual, so it could be that as well.

But that's awesome that you both are working on a situation that benefits you both. I know ideally you wouldn't want her to lose weight, but at the same time at least she was willing to say that she would be comfortable gaining weight again and seeing where her body takes her. It's nice that your conversation with her wound up being positive as I know a few talks like this have happened to wind up negatively in regards to other members.

Hopefully things will get better for your wife and her hormones are able to balance out a little more.

She is 24 now, and yes, she is taking birth control pills but not for birth control per se, but mainly to mitigate her skin problems. But the most important factor here is that she has Hashimoto's disease resulting in hypothyroidism. She already takes replacement, but will probably need to have the does increased soon. Moreover, she also is a bit insulin resistant. Anyway, all these things, combined with her love of good food, make it really REALLY hard to lose any weight...

Like you said, the whole thing turned out quite positive and that's the best thing. Honestly, I doubt she'll lose that much weight, even with my help, but time will tell.

[Guest myownway]

So much for dieting. After quite a big supper yesterday, quite a breakfast and moderate dinner followed by dessert today, in the evening we ordered a big pizza. We were supposed to go to cinema and grab a pizza before, but we stayed and watched another movie at home, while eating pizza. Another pizza is in plan after shopping next week and although she said there will be no pizza when we finally go to the cinema, I guess that is subject to change . And the funniest thing is that I didn't even initiate it, just went along .

[Dr. Feeder]

For many women, just knowing their spouse wants them to gain puts them past the tipping point.

[Guest myownway]

Well, she has known that I would find her gain a positive thing basically since we met... However, from the very beginning it has always been a struggle between two directions. On one hand - her being aware that I like her big and would find it sexy if she got bigger, as well as her love for good food. And on the other - anxiety about finding nice clothes to wear, staying fit and healthy and not looking "too fat", as well as not letting the numbers (weight, dimensions, dress size) get too big, as they seem to intimidate her.

But recently or, well, during the last year or two, the things that made her afraid of gaining weight seem to have lost a lot of gravity. I guess some of it is caused by the fact, that she gained about 40 lbs since we met and she sees and feels that her health has not deteriorated, she is as fit as before and thanks to a few plus-size inclusive online stores she is now familiar with most of clothing problems went away and she is actually happy that she can shop there instead of malls filled to the limit with people. And as for her anxiety about looking too fat... Well, after the gain she still wear body hugging clothes, her face is as plump as ever and yet she got a shorter haircut that exposes that (which I love) and like I said before she basically declared she feels good in her skin. According to her declaration the only thing that makes her want to lose weight is the possibility of it improving her hormonal problems... But recently she even said that she wants to get a second opinion to be sure what to do... So I hope that the new doc won't be fat-o-phobic and that she will either get a honest confirmation that weight loss is a solution or major part of it - and then we'll do it together, or another solution - a working one! - and stays as big as she is or bigger.

Right now I see her appetite is really big and she is really prone to eating not only much enough not to lose weight, but even to continue gaining. And on one hand I really love it but I'd like to be sure that I'm not a willing and happy participant in totally demolishing her hormonal balance. 

[Guest myownway]

A little update: she went to her hitherto doc and got her thyroid medication adjusted, and surprisingly got no harsh words for regaining 4 of 6 kilos she lost in spring. Surprisingly enough, even before the visit she was barely anxious about it, just told me "I hope she (the doc) won't berate me for gaining weight again" - and it's worth noting she was very concerned about that last time she returned from the visit. In the evening on the same day, when I asked her if we'll have some bedroom fun she said it's bad for the diet since it makes her relaxed and happy and when she's in such mood she tends to be hungry or at least have appetite for something tasty. I laughed and said that this sounds really bad for her diet plan, to which she replied that she'll try to implement at least a bit of it. We did have bedroom fun later that evening . Sounds like my wife is going to at least stay her current weight, because there's no way she's going to lose any weight with her current eating habits (which are healthy, but not really that limited when it comes to calorie intake). Time will tell though.

But what I'm happy about is actually another thing, but related. She confessed once that before we met she sometimes resorted to comfort eating. Now she never does that - actually, when she's sad or angry she either eats little or not at all - because then it's just sustenance and does not give her any pleasure. So things turned totally opposite, because, as mentioned above, she tends to eat most when she's happy and relaxed. I'm very glad about that - firstly because I really don't like the idea of comfort eating. And secondly, because judging from her appetite, she's happy most of the time .

[Ignatius]

I will never, ever understand why people wait until after marriage to get into the details of their sexuality.

[Guest myownway]

Sometimes they have no choice. If I started talking this open to my wife when she was still in the phase where she considered my every fantasy a sort of requirement she does not meet, there might have been no marriage at all. You can't have everything at the start, I guess, especially if you're dealing with slightly fragile person on the other end. I think it was good enough that she knew my preferences and kinks from the very beginning, accepted them and just had to get comfortable enough with them so that I could make another step. I took some time, sure, but was well worth it.

However, I agree with you that keeping it totally secret or very very vague is a bad idea. Like when after several years of knowing each other and getting close enough to get married someone makes a revelation about something the other person had totally no idea about. And then people feel like they do not know the other person at all, somewhat deceived.

On a side note: another pizza for late dinner yesterday. And today she went to a friend, then visited her parents and at both these places she had a piece of cake. Definitely, no diet here.

[Guest myownway]

UPDATE:

Recently things went quite an unexpected way.  I recently started attempts at losing weight (due to acid reflux problems, on one hand, and the fact that I also gained some weight during our time together and started losing that "V" shape that I know she likes, on the other) and she said she'd come along. And I was perfectly ok with that - I mean, ideally it would be best if she didn't, but she doesn't want to lose a lot anyway and I'm never making objections in such situations - it's her body in the end.

Still, it turned out that while I can get quite satiated even after throwing out most of carbs (other than veggies), because I eat meat, she can stomach only a little meat (and almost exclusively chicken breast) so after dinner she is hungry soon and often makes up for the reduction by snacking, and the snacks often include cookies or cake. In the end she still seems to eat a little bit less than before we started this whole "diet" thing (unless she snacks more that I notice), but I doubt it will end up in any weight loss on her part.

[Guest myownway]

Well, again, a little update.

Somewhere around late Fabruary/early March my wife got back to her heaviest (230 lbs). At first I thought she will freak out at the realization that she did, but nothing like that happened. No diet plan, nothing. Not even one that would endure 2-3 days. So now it's one and a half months since then, and we had plenty of big dinners, often quite filling supper and in addition she is now having breakfast and lunch instead of just breakfast and a little, if any, snack, which she practiced before. At first I considered it just some kind of inertia on her part, but it turns out that it might be more to it.

First of all, I learned recently that she wouldn't mind having bigger breasts and they did grow at least a cup size already during our time together due to her gain.

Another thing is that she now much more often refers to her bigger size in a positive way and the only thing she sometimes complains about is her belly, which she would prefer to be a bit smaller. But even that happens much less often than it did before.

Next thing is the fact that she very often refers to me "fattening" her in a playful way, usually when we order pizza and she gets the bigger slices or when I make a normal dinner for her while cutting on the size of mine.

And now, the best thing. Yesterday we were talking about something related to the belly size, where I said that hers is certainly not too big, and she said that if I ever said that her belly is too big, that would probably be a reason to worry and that she'd still probably have a crew of some sensation-seeking TV program making an episode about her huge belly before I'd say something like that. I replied that she's maybe exagerrating a bit but she is right about one thing - that it's not probable that I would complain about her size and that tight now I find her quite perfect. She was in an inquisitive mood, apparently, so she mentioned that I was saying the same thing when she was 90 kilos, 95 and 100. I told her, adhering quite closely to the truth, that I always meant what I said and that it's only after she gained that I learned that any further improvement was possible. I was not sure what she had in mind, but at that point I realized that I actually told her quite directly that I like her body more at 105 than I did before. Now, her moody days are coming so I expected my previous words to cause some faux pas. I was evern more anxious, when she answered that knowing me, she doubts whether I'd found her too big even at 200 kilos (so roughly 440 lbs, her weight in kilos in February/March was 105 kilos). I told her that I cannot know what my attitude towards that would be, but that I am sure she shouldn't worry about getting "too fat" for me. Then, to my surprise, she smiled, kissed me and said that she loves that about me. Then, seemingly without connection, she said that she would hate someone to forbid her to eat, since she loves eating good food so much. And in the evening I didn't even tempt her with a pizza, I actually suggested having a sandwich then and pizza on the next day, but she basically gave me the phone and told me to order one. And I wouldn't be surprised if we had another one today.

Oh, and one more thing. We are about to go swimming soon, and to do this regularly, to improve our health and well-being, and when we last talked about it, she mentioned that a bit of swimming might actually improve her appetite and perhaps it would also be a good excuse to have a pizza or some other good food more often.

What do you think guys? To me it sounds that by the end of this year my lady might be easily pushing 240 lbs, especially since we have two holiday trips planned these summer and during these she usually lets her appetite totally loose... I totally didn't expect it. I mean, I was very happy that no weight loss was in plan, because those 230 lbs are lovely on her, but I did not expect that events might take such a turn. I wonder what will happen in the end, but considering that during last years her self-acceptance was growing, and so did her weight, I think that I might end up having a bit bigger wife than I ever realistically expected, unless she has a sudden change of heart, or, god forbid, the gain impacts her health. We stick to healthy unprocessed food generally and as I said we plan on being physically active, so maybe that latter won't happen.

[panopticon]

Sounds great to me!

And it prooves that a relationship needs to develop and to grow to be perfect for both.

Thank you for telling us. I really find it very interesting and sexy to read this.

My wife apparently hasn't reached this state yet. She's only slightly chubby and sometimes concerned about being considered too fat or worried about finding nice clothes.

But it's definitely thrilling to see how attitudes can change

All the best for your future and keep getting us updated!

[Guest myownway]

Thanks . I sure will .

Regarding the thing with clothes... Some time ago my wife would agonize anytime she had to buy anything in a bigger size than before. Like, she wore 40-42 tops and 44 bottoms, and the first time she had to buy 46 pants, it was almost painful for her (that was about 5 years ago). Recently 44 bottoms don't do it for her anymore, unless they are really stretchy, and she basically has to order 46, and the last few times she actually had to pick 48 in some cases. When that happened, I wasn't sure what to expect, but she basically did it as if it was just a different number, nothing else. Like "46 is to small? Well then I'll order 48." So it was a very positive surprise.

What makes this even more exciting is that "normal sizes" end on 46 where I live (at best, in some places even on 44 and 42), and 48 and larger can be found mostly in "XL" sections. So after breaking the border of the three digit weight, now she officially enters the zone of "clothes for fat ladies". The downside of it is that she will have slightly bigger problem with finding nice clothes that fit, which might cause a problem on a bad day, but I hope her recent confidence will make her just shrug it off and switch to shops/stores that offer clothing that can accommodate her beauty. The upside is of course within the symbolic area, and my wife belonging more and more into the "fat world".

Perhaps it's stupid to find such things exciting, but it does arouse me when she outgrows her old clothes and has to buy new ones, especially since this provides an opportunity for me to encourage her something sexy. And it's even more arousing now, when doesn't make a tragedy out of it and I'd say she even enjoys refreshing her wardrobe.

So yeah, don't lose hope. People change. But it's not like they'll just change out of the blue, even though this may also happen in some cases. In case of my wife it was really whole LOADS of positive reinforcement and practically no demands of any kind. Also, I think I don't need to say it, but avoid any emotional blackmail. I mean, it's easy to avoid the direct one, but one can sometimes say things that sound like indirect blackmail (even when there is no such intention, poor wording can give various results) and that may be a big problem, especially if your lady is a sensitive and smart person, who's very quick at grasping hidden meaning but sometimes finds it where none was intended (which I guess is quite a common problem in male-female communication).

To put it shortly - lots of love, being careful with words and genuine desire to make your loved one happy may cause wonders, and it most often does when you don't expect them to happen because of it. I guess it's sort of paradoxical, but in my case the less I push and the less I expect, the more I get. That's why I'm not even sure if what I write here should be considered advice. I might simply be lucky or have good karma or something .

[Guest myownway]

Funny thing happened. She gained 5 lbs in 3 months after cutting the sweets out and reducing the size of all meals - she's currently 236 lbs (107 kg). Either her metabolism is getting a bit crazy or she catches up when she's at work .

[lostonline040]

Not unlikely. I've seen it numerous times in my own relationships and  those of my friends. Hell one friends fiancee racked up almost $200 in credit card debt on snacking and fast food behind his back

All part of the struggle. Good luck

[Guest myownway]

People act funny sometimes .

In case of my wife it is very probable that it is about metabolism (slight insulin resistance + hypothyroidism), although I noticed that despite she declared stopping snacking completely, I hear later from her that she tried a bit of this chocolate and of that cake when at work... So I guess it will be a mix of both.

[Guest myownway]

Welp, ever since we went for vacation her "dieting" of any kind has been seriously suspended. When on vacation we ate 3 big meals plus dessert, and now it stays the same, except that we have dessert only once a while. On the other hand, I have no idea how much she snacks at work. But all in all, it looks like her weight is going to keep going up. We've been having more physical activity recently but that stimulates her appetite quite a bit and I noticed that on the days when we don't have dessert she snacks a bit.

I wouldn't be surprised by 250 by the end of this years if situation stays the same.

[Guest myownway]

Ok, so last time I posted here my wife gained 5 lbs between early March and mid May. Now it's 2 months later and her eating habits are the same and we additionally ate quite a lot during our holiday trip in June. She has not weighed herself since the last time and perhaps that's good thing, but the idea that she might be 240 lbs now (and, if things dont change, even past 250 by the end of the year) is actually exciting me a lot. Especially since recently I'm doing all the dinners and she comes so hungry from work that she almost demands a big portion, which I'm more than happy to accommodate. Theoretically we have been more physically active recently, but that is countered by the fact that activity makes her hungrier and she snacks more and eats bigger meals. And another plus side to that activity is that she feels better in her own skin.

Obviously, her attitude towards her size changes depending on a day, but last week after swimming we had a talk along these lines:

WIFE: I'm so hungry after all this swimming... I'd love a pizza for supper.

ME: I don't see a problem with that. We can order one.

WIFE: Yes, let's do that... You know, I think I can't be doing all this sports thing, it makes me so hungry I'll probably get even bigger, ironically.

ME: Well, but you'll be in a better mood, you'll be more fit and healthier.

WIFE: Hmmm... Actually, I guess that's not a bad trade.

Imagine the smirk on my face at that moment.

[Guest myownway]

Hey, I'm resurrecting the thread with rather bad news unfortunately. In November my wife started a diet plan that was not a fad diet but a profesionally prepared program. I have to admit it was successful and worth the money in that respect, but it is so efficient that she got down to 223 lbs at the moment (from around 245).

Well, that's bad news, the good is that she is losing less in the right places (basically lost a lot of back fat and some belly and thigh fat but boobs, hips and bottom did not shrink that much) and she does not want to get slim. Her objective is to go back to two digits (in kilos, so below 100 kg = 220 lbs). Not sure what is going to happen later but in recent weeks she got somewhat tired of the diet (it's not bad but gets a little repetitive and has very little cheese or olive oil which she loves) and we started going back to our usual meals, although in somewhat small portions, so I expect her to stabilize somewhere between 200 and 220 lbs. Which is still pleasantly plump.

Another good thing is that it boosted her confidence a good bit. Funnily enough, when she was gaining in the last years and crossed 220 lbs she was not too fond of it and said she looked bad and "too fat" at this weight. Now when she is 223 lbs she feels great and likes herself in the mirror. I think this contributed to her recent diet-tiredness too - she simply has less motivation. So there is a bright side to all of this.

Also, we are slowly on the way to start thinking about having kids, and she has this feeling that she has to lose weight prior to it, because she will gain it back in pregnancy and will have hard time losing it later. So as you can see there are plenty of factors at play here.

Obviously, I'd prefer her not to lose weight at all, but I'm accepting it. I think trying to push her into not losing weight would do more bad than good and basically I have no right to do this. I think it's better if I let it all play out on its own - there is a good chance than she will soon run out of the desire to lose more (hell, she already told me, albeit a bit jokingly, that once the weight shows less than 220 lbs she will order a pizza and eat in on her own). Besides, where I live there will soon be holidays where people usually eat lots of donuts and some other pastries and she said she can't wait to finally eat a few as a divertion from the diet. And two days later there is Valentine's Day and we're already agreed upon a pizza date . So, who knows, maybe this is just a temporary downward tendency and with her accepting herself at higher weight than she did before she might be less anxious about letting herself go again.

Time will tell, like I always say . But you can keep your fingers crossed

[Serfontein]

I meant to reply here the other day.

That's awesome! There's a lot to be said about letting (poor choice of word I know) a girl achieve her goal so she gets that bug off her back. Should do wonders for her confidence knowing that she was able to do that for herself. Lots to look forward to now!

[Guest myownway]

Well guys, I think there took place a push off the rocky bottom . During the last two weeks we had at least 3 pizzes ordered for evening movie watching, and also had kebaps twice and burgers once. She came back to eating "normal" bread and pasta. Dinners are still far from where they once were, but not as limited anymore. She managed to get down to 99 kilos (218 lbs) about 3 weeks ago but is now back to 101 (222 lbs). And, best of that, despite knowing her weight is again going up, she did not stop letting me order those pizzas, since we had one yesterday. And on Sunday I'm taking her out in the evening, so there'll be another. And who knows what's going to happen today and tomorrow.

Actually, we had a chat in bed a couple of days ago. She basically said she was afraid that if she keeps losing she'll lose my interest and I'll start looking around at other women. I told her, thruthfully, that it's not like that and definitely won't happen. Then she told me that recently she stopped dieting mostly because she did not want to risk that, and it did not even happen 100% consciously, because she just started telling herself, that she can make a day or two-day break for a pizza and some other tasty stuff and then she will be back on track, while she never did. She said she does not blame me for that or anything, but that it just pushes her away from losing weight.

I had difficulty responding to that, especially knowing on how thin ice I was standing, but I dared to tell her, that I think her being afraid of my reaction is one thing, but another thing is that she just likes good food and likes to feel moderately full after a good meal. She did not protest, actually even confirmed it a bit. I added that I do not find it a bad thing, actually quite the opposite, that I love filling her belly and touching and caressing it when its full, to help her digest it. She seemed very contemplative afterwards, but not sad or anything. She just mentioned again that she is anxious about my opinion on her losing weight. So I told her that while I do enjoy her being big and everything that comes with it, it's more like enjoying a sexy lingerie on an already beautiful woman and not a deal-breaker in case she loses weight. She said she knows that it won't be that bad but also that she doesn't believe that it's only as important to me as I said and not more. And then she told me that she never needed to feel "beautiful" in her own eyes and for her own sake it's enough if she considers herself "ok", but she does love it when *I* find her beautiful. I said I could relate to that, because I guess that is exactly how I approach my looks with regard to her. I am happy when I think I look on enough and when she thinks I'm damn handsome. She didn't say anything more back then, but still did not look sad, and we basically just cuddled close and fell asleep. And on the next day we had a pizza in the evening again, without any protest on her part.

So, she basically told me that as long as her looks are "ok" or "passable" in her own eyes, she is only interested in what I find beautiful in her. And I feel weird now, because I'm not sure what impact his whole talk had on her. I only know that on the next day I made her feel damn sexy after we had that pizza and when I asked her if she is fed up with my compliments regarding her size and curves, she said no and that she wants me to keep them coming. I guess the coming days are going to show what direction things will take, but I'm pretty sure that while she might not be into going back to 110 kilos, it's doubtful that she will keep losing, considered that the direction has already changed and she didn'd do a thing to change it. She just mentioned she wants to go swimming soon in order to be more fit, but said nothing about losing weight from it, actually admitted that it's a problem since it will probably make her damn hungry.

Well, my life is a rollercoaster

[extra_m13]

thanks for sharing !!

[Guest myownway]

Another small piece of news... She recently got her hair cut again and... well, she basically got a certain short haircut which is ultra cute, but fat girls are usually advised to stay away from it, because it supposedly underlines a round face and its plumpness a lot! I'm not sure if it really does, but she knew that opinion and got that cut anyway and likes it a lot. That speaks confidence and I love it! And I love it twice as much, because as you already know I love cute short hair on fat girls.