Weight gain during relationship

[Charms7]

This is exactly what happened to my wife. I’ve probably gained a little weight but would probably still be considered skinny. My wife, though, went from athletic and fit when we got married in 2018 to obese in 2023. She probably started around 140-150 in 2018 and is now close to or just over 230. She’s short so that technically puts her in the morbidly obese category.

The weight gain definitely wasn’t even throughout the years. She might have gained 5 pounds in 2018 and another in 2019, but it ramped up during the pandemic. She probably put on close to 40 pounds between 2020 and 2021.

Last January she hovered around 200 and this was around the time that I told her how I loved her bigger body. She found it strange at first but has to come to accept it and even buy into it a bit.

Overall, she’s let go a lot more. She’s much less careful about what she eats, she snacks often, she gives into cravings a lot, and she doesn’t work out much anymore. And it’s showing on the scale. Shes packed on about 30 pounds since last January— the most ever in a year for her.

And I’m just looking forward to what this year will bring. 

[Charms7]

On 1/17/2023 at 5:06 PM, pacco said:

I reckon she's put on another ten pounds since I wrote this, guessing she's around 180 pounds now. She said 'fattest ever' the other day, which gets her somewhere around 180—190. 🤯

I can relate. My wife has been putting on more weight too. She’s in the 230 region now so that means she outweighs me by almost 60 pounds.

Shes also pretty settled in her routine of eating a ton and not exercising so it’s almost like every day she’s the fattest she’s ever been. 

[Charms7]

Has anyone noticed any reactions from friends and family regarding the weight gain? My wife has been getting more and more comments since she crossed over 200 pounds. There are some close friends from high school she still keeps I touch with who have definitely noticed. There’s one who has been overweight since high school who is now smaller than my wife. She now sometimes offers weight loss advice to her.

But most of the comments come from her family, and particularly her mom. When we started dating, my wife was probably one of the skinniest of her siblings and definitely the most in shape. Now she’s definitely the biggest and weighs about twice as much as her mom, who is very careful about what she eats and stays very active. If we ever eat out together, I can always see her give my wife stares at how much she orders (and eats). She also throws in comments like, “Are you sure that’s what you want?”, and “Why don’t you save that for later?”. She’ll also pretty regularly ask her “What size (clothes) are you up to now?”

[Charms7]

On 2/8/2023 at 8:50 AM, Drum2 said:

Charms7 you just described my  MIL. My wife finally told her to  knock it off.  She would make th same commets you metioned.......do you really need that? arnt you big enough already?  you must be 300, 400 whtever pounds.  When she started sending her WLS information my wife finally snapped and told her to stop all of that stuff. She doesnt say anything to my wife now,though she still gives her the look.  MIL does now make  some comments to me,  how can you let her eat so much? You cant be happy withher weight, how much does she weigh?  Ijust smile tell her we are happy, she is fine.  In my mind I can just imagine what she would say/think if I told her that her daughter is a feedee lol.

A few of my wifes friends commented about her gaining. But that really doesnt happen any more. Shehas been really big for a long  time so its become the norm. When she lost a considerable amount of weight a few years ago she got more comments aboutthat. Some of that weight has crept back on to her but weve not actively trying to gain weightthe last5 yrs or so. 

 

 

I’m glad your wife stood up to her mom— that takes a lot of course that my wife doesn’t quite have yet, but maybe she’s getting there. Like your MIL, mine has started bringing up WLS.

From her perspective I get it. My wife has not been able to lose much weight since she started putting it on and in fact is gaining more and more rapidly. She also gets winded super easily and has trouble keeping with her mom. Plus she does technically qualify for it given her BMI is in the morbidly obese range.

An added element is how much her mom and sisters talk about each other, which is super normal. Her mom and my wife will talk about her other siblings when they’re together and I just know the same happens with regards to my wife. In fact this was confirmed when one sister asked my wife if she was going to get the surgery.