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I'm at my wits end with this fetish...


PreyToGod

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Having fetishes on the 'extreme' side can make things hard. In an ocean of fish, our fetishes can limit us down to a small pond of people, and then even smaller when we narrow down what/who we are attracted to, someone who hits all the right kinks and who we can see ourselves being in a relationship with. 

Feederism hasn't had a spot in any of my personal long-term relationships but some extreme BDSM definitely has, and I've had my own struggles with finding someone compatible with my own kinks. So I can empathize. 

After looking for a long time and being repeatedly disappointed for whatever the reason something didn't work out, I went back to look at what I really wanted. What was the most important thing for me? For me it was finding a partner/best friend and even if they weren't into my same fetishes, the fact that they were open-minded and non-judgmental was a great step-in to kink and a conversation starter. Once I had that, embraced it, and had a partner who was happy to explore, my mindset changed from "I MUST HAVE IT THIS WAY AND THIS WAY ONLY" to "Hey, this is better than I thought it would be" and I enjoyed it a lot.

Fetishes aren't an on/off switch, they can be so deeply rooted in our minds and sexuality that it's impossible to turn off. You can still love what you love and desire that, but don't close yourself into such a tight little box that it makes you miserable. 

As far as dating goes, I'm not sure things like Tinder, OkCupid, POF, etc would go over that well. Maybe? It just might make it more frustrating when looking IMO. On those profiles I'd probably just be very blunt to weed out women who don't share your same kinks. 

Are you on Fetlife? It's not exactly a dating site but almost...think more like a kinky Facebook. They have classified ad groups where you can post who/what you're looking for in a partner, and BBW, SSBBW, Feederism groups where you can reach out and connect with people with similar fetishes. Since your fetish is niche, start looking in the niche areas rather than someplace with a pool of vanilla people like Tinder. 

Keep looking and don't give up. As frustrating as the search is it will be worth it when you find someone awesome that you click with. :) 

 

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