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The Slowest Champion -Revisited-


riptoryx

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If I may add to Maverick's point, I've read a few stories and watched a few films where I wondered if the author / screenwriter  even had any real contact with females because the dialogue was so out of touch with reality.  Speaking in general, I've always listened to the way people talk and incorporate their use of language for the characters in my stories.   

Your handle of dialogue is very impressive, your story is overall enjoyable. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

You didn't disappoint, truly entertaining.  That being said I must add that your commitment to detail is very commendable and realistic in terms of Kara's overweight figure as well as her facial appearance.  I likewise applaud the little things you added into the epilogue, for example her photographs being removed from the wall, suggesting perhaps that even her dad has conceded to Kara being overweight and quite possibly remain heavy.  Akin to Maverick's "The Lesson" where Susan realizes at the conclusion she'll never be slim again.  

Cheers to you for a remarkable story which I'm sure will be read over and over again.

Matt    

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Maybe it's a guilty pleasure but what really adds to the enjoyment of the conclusion and the amount of weight Kara gained is that people who have never been acquainted with the character when she was slim and energetic and popular will always presumed she has always been a portly woman.  Kara would fit into the basic fat girl stereotype of overeating, lazy and undisciplined.. 

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