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The dream It all started when I was fourteen and I made a dream The most striking dream of my life So strong that I somehow knew waking up that it must be real, that it was actually real In that dream, a girl was holding me and I was holding her, all our force clenched in this embrace And it felt like the most perfect and complete embrace that could exist on earth In her arms I felt entirely at peace, entirely accepted for who I truly am, entirely loved My schoolmates sniggering was in an instant blown away by this powerful wind It didn’t matter if people didn’t like me, if they made fun of me because I was different, because I didn’t know how to behave like them, because I didn’t want to conform It didn’t matter if I felt so lonely and misunderstood, if I had no real friend except my family No, nothing mattered before the potency of this dream love In that brief instant I understood there existed a love so deep and powerful it upheaved our existence In that brief instant I knew that I had to find her no matter what And I started looking for my dream girl everywhere I somehow knew I would recognize her Not because I would be physically attracted to her, no it had nothing to do with physical attraction But because my heart would bleed and cry and dance when seeing her, when looking in her eyes I knew it would be of an intensity that surpassed everything I witnessed around me In my teen years, I sometimes was of a deeply melancholic state of mind, without knowing why, without realizing that it was unnatural for a young boy to be so thoughtful, to have such a brooding mood The only thought that brought real sunshine and warmth to my life was that of meeting her Each time I went to the New Year’s mass with my parents, I prayed to find her And for long, long years I didn’t There was no trace of her Anywhere With time, I overcame my natural shyness that when I was a teenager made me stutter with everyone around at school, so afraid was I of my peers’ judgmental eyes I didn’t know how to speak in slang as everybody else, I wasn’t capable of chitchatting Before speaking I had to prepare the sentences I would say in my mind beforehand And each time I cursed my stupidity, how socially unfit I felt I was Later, much later, I became much more at ease with myself when I understood that speaking with others was not an exam I had to pass, but more like a discussion to discover more about them, about their life experiences, about the secret book of their soul I wanted to become a writer and so I knew I needed these interactions, and I started asking many questions, carefully listening to answers And in few years I met many close friends, as many as I didn’t have in my entire life, and with each of them the relationship seemed meaningful to me And yet, despite not being lonely anymore in the physical plane, I continued feeling this loneliness of the heart I never dated with any girl because each time I would get to know someone from close I’d understand it wasn’t the right person for me I would go out of my comfort zone, speaking to strangers out of the blue, in the library, in public transportation, each time I’d notice a beautiful face For I believed that I would recognize her from her face But each time I was disappointed, the whole did not feel right, they didn’t have the sensitivity I was looking for Almost a decade passed until I met her… Find out more writings on my blog https://erikvincentizakhia.wordpress.com/

So I recently attended SXSW 2016 in Austin, TX. For those unfamiliar with SXSW, it’s a film, music and interactive media festival. While I was attending the fest, I met this really amazing girl while riding on a SXSW shuttle bus. We struck up a conversation and we really hit it off and exchanged phone numbers. We even met up last Saturday for dinner/lunch at the tail end of the festival. We’re planning to see each other again on Monday after the Easter weekend. Now the big thing about her (and it’s pretty big) is that she’s 7 months pregnant. Personally, this doesn’t bother me at all. Along with my belly and weight gain fetish, I also have a pregnancy fetish, and while it certainly plays a factor into my physical attraction to her, we also share many of the same interests and opinions. Plus, she’s just a joy to be around. I want to post our first interaction/discussion when we met at SXSW, but I feel a little nervous about it. Believe me, I know it’s very unusual to be dating a pregnant woman.