Lailani

[Guest The Painter]

[...] If you want to voice your support and wish her well, sure, go ahead - might even make you feel like a better person.

Wishing somebody the very best isn't about feeling like a "better person". It's a basic human instinct. and yes, it goes together very well with admiring the female fat, simply because we human beings are contradictory. No need to defend anything. It's only life.

[Queen Victoria]

But for the rest of us, we can just hope for the best and at the same time gratefully receive whatever good modelling work she may produce.

There.

How can you get off on a woman knowing she is in pain? I dunno. I, personally, could not. The moment I heard she had cancer, I wasn't interested in getting my rocks off to her. And that has absolutely nothing to do with fear of the disease (unclean!), nor does it have anything to do with white-knighting.

I don't know this chick, and as I've repeatedly said on these forums, if I don't know someone, I don't generally care about what's happening in the background. However, the stories surrounding cancer are almost always the same, and the suffering it inflicts on the victims is universal -- horrible treatments that leave you debilitated for weeks, and then just when you are starting to recover some strength, BOOM: another round. Even not knowing Lailani, how could I get off looking at her and knowing that she's in all likelihood going through that? This isn't me harping on some chick because simple vanity prompted her to drop 50 lbs, thus going from curvy to thin -- this is a woman who has a serious chance of dying. Who could look at that and go: 'shit, who cares? It's sex time!'

I'm afraid the impression I get from a lot of you fucks is that you need to hoard whatever pictures of her you can get before she kicks the bucket. You might not be saying that per se, but that's what's coming through on you pushing for pictures. There are a bazillion other BBWs out there -- stroke your dick to one of them while this one gets better.

[gta]

So glad you were gonna post this too, gta, if "no one else had." yes. Please let's also post how getting a tan, drinking alcohol and using aluminum foil, all of which she has done, can contribute to cancer. That is exactly what she, and we, need right now.

Unbelievable.

Just shove it, people, and control yourselves. Seriously. You have no idea what this particular cancer "between nose a d cheek" has to do with. None. Zero. So just be quiet, for once, especially you moderators.

And, no, I'm not up for a discussion. I'm just dissappointed, I guess.

You're putting words in my mouth. I did not say that this cancer was most likely a result of her being overweight. In all honesty, it sounds skin related which would point to sun damage and not being overweight. What I was pointing out is how people are quick to dismiss any correlation between physical ailment and being overweight. Comments like "which, probably, have little or nothing to do with her weight, folks" get under my skin. It's an unnecessary addendum to the situation that serves to falsely soothe the community, vindicating the FA psyche and downplaying the potential negative side-effects. But I'm glad that you shat on my opinion and immediately said "I'm not up for a discussion" - don't start to take a shit if you can't finish it.

As for your moderator comment, I take pride in separating my moderator duties from my personal opinions, thank you very much. Never once have I censored someone who represents a contrasting opinion to my own. If I get involved personally in a thread, I will not moderate it. Period.

How do you know she's unable to "enjoy completely"? I realize you people are trying to be good guys here, but I can't help seeing some form of patronizing here. The lady makes the video if she wants to make it and can make it. If she does, I'm going to be happy. If not, I understand completely. But is it wrong to hope she can do it? Because if she does, I'm certain she didn't do it simple because she "had to". It's even possible that she really would like to do it!

By the way, no one is "clamoring out of entitlement" for anything. She's free to do what she pleases, end of story. And similarly we are free to hope for things - knowing fully well that whatever I may say here in this forum really has very little impact on what really goes on in her life.

If you want to voice your support and wish her well, sure, go ahead - might even make you feel like a better person.

It's not about her and whether or not she is enjoying this, doing her job, etc. If you found out your partner had cancer, would you start a conversation with "but are we still going to have sex?" As thegenius/huhwuh pointed out, it's an issue of morality and prioritization of needs. I personally put sex on the back burner when it comes to someone's health. You make the argument that "which, probably, have little or nothing to do with her weight, folks." I make the argument "her excessive weight cannot possibly be helping the situation." If you place sexual gratification before being healthy, or are able to place health concerns aside for sexual gratification, I try my best not to judge. But I cannot personally do that.

As I have said recently in several other threads, I see it as the divide between fetishism and curves appreciation. My heart sinks when I see these threads where people are posting "my gf wants to lose weight and is unhappy with herself, but I don't want that! How can I sabotage her efforts to keep my dick happy?" It's selfish and another way of objectifying women. I believe that some people in this community don't actually see the BBW members as people, but rather as sex objects. You can see it in how they talk to them. Comments like "hope to see you get even fatter!", "keep eating!" "meh, she looked better 50lbs ago", and "can you do another video where you eat two whole pizzas and massage your belly, moaning in discomfort?"

So, yes. My reaction to Lailani's situation is "I hope you get better." It's not because I'm a white knight or a brown noser. I genuinely want her to get better, more so than I want her to focus on her web modeling. Her making another video is the last thing on my mind.

[Guest The Painter]

gta / Queen Victoria:

I agree.

Why not admit adoring fat women? and why not admit that their well-beeing is more important than my admiration?

[A Saucerful Of Harry]

Here's the gist of this thread so from the way I see it, people are genuinely concerned about Lailani health and wish her the best while others only care about if she's gonna gain weight and make porn.

Yeah ''FAs'' are aren't fucked up at all :.

[Sigelman]

In all honesty, it sounds skin related which would point to sun damage and not being overweight. What I was pointing out is how people are quick to dismiss any correlation between physical ailment and being overweight .

And you, as a moderator, have chosen this thread to be the place to discuss such truisms? A thread in which a woman with a cancer from whoknowswhere should receive encouragment, if anything?

Sorry, but starting this "fat can be bad, mmmmkay" lesson HERE was tasteless and unnecessary. Or patronizing, at worst.

[gta]

And you, as a moderator, have chosen this thread to be the place to discuss such truisms? A thread in which a woman with a cancer from whoknowswhere should receive encouragment, if anything?

Sorry, but starting this "fat can be bad, mmmmkay" lesson HERE was tasteless and unnecessary. Or patronizing, at worst.

Again, I was not trying to preach to the community. Again, I was trying to point out that bringing up her weight and how it may or may not affect her current condition is rude in and of itself because that is an agenda too. It's like Walter in The Big Lebowski who makes every fucking situation revolve around Vietnam and his buddies dying face down in the muck. The situations never had anything to do with Vietnam, but it vindicated his actions/motives and gave him some odd sort of relief/comfort. This analogy applies to the knee-jerk reaction so many members have to quickly dismiss that someone's weight affecting a current condition of theirs. It's unnecessary. It's noise. It's self-serving.

Fact of the matter is, you don't know anymore than I do about this situation. Hence why I didn't say "I think Lailani has cancer because of her weight." I didn't say that in the slightest. What I am trying to point out is that it is absurd for someone with no knowledge of the situation to immediately dismiss weight as a cause of the cancer. I gave her my support and condolences, and if anything, I am defending her by dismissing gossip and speculations about what is or is not a cause of her current plight. So how am I taking advantage of this situation to preach truisms exactly?

[Ulysses]

How can you get off on a woman knowing she is in pain?

How do you know she is in pain? All she said is that she didn't like her last set of photos, because she thinks she looks ill and not so happy in them. She is not saying she lives in constant, agonizing pain because of her crippling illness. In fact, she found out about the tumor (I assume she's probably meaning tumor - mistake in vocabulary) just a week ago. And she's going to the surgery in mid-January. That's all there is. It might be a big, risky operation. Or it might just as well be a small, benign tumor that can be taken care of in one afternoon - the thing is, we don't have a clue. But people around here paint an absurd picture. It's like...there's this suffering woman on her dying bed, surrounded by a wake of vultures screaming: "One more set before you die! You owe us that!"

Seriously.

Let me ask you a question in return. What if - and this of course is purely hypothetical - what IF Ms. Lailani or some other webmodel would come and say: "I have a real hard time in my life going on right now. But modelling, and the fact that people want to buy my sets and videos gives me encouragement. It brings a morsel of joy into my otherwise shitty situation." Would you say: "Whoa, a major turn-off. A woman is in pain...no way I can enjoy any pics or vids she produces?" I guess not.

The setting here is such that some people assume there is this crowd that is demanding and even maybe mentally forcing Lailani to do something she really doesn't want to. I'm repeating myself, but the thing is: she makes the video if she WANTS to make it and she CAN make it. There's no one forcing her (at least as far as I know). So if there would in fact be a video on her site, it would be there because she wanted it to be there. And in her post on dims formus she said she's planning to do the said video. Is it wrong to hope she actually manages to do what she - apparently! - WANTS to do? Or maybe you guys know better, maybe you just know she doesn't really want to do any sets but she's just forced to do it by evil FA's who care nothing for her as a person. Sheesh.

I'm afraid the impression I get from a lot of you fucks is that you need to hoard whatever pictures of her you can get before she kicks the bucket. You might not be saying that per se, but that's what's coming through on you pushing for pictures. There are a bazillion other BBWs out there -- stroke your dick to one of them while this one gets better.

Of course I can't deny the impression you might get. But I think this impression is more based on assumptions and previous bad experiences than what has actually been said in this thread.

[Ulysses]

Wishing somebody the very best isn't about feeling like a "better person". It's a basic human instinct. and yes, it goes together very well with admiring the female fat, simply because we human beings are contradictory. No need to defend anything. It's only life.

Sure, go ahead.

There is, however, very small chance she will ever even read your wishes. And that's my point, nothing more. Like I said, should I have some personal contact with her, I would be talking to her and asking what's going on, what can I do to help etc. If she was a regular member (or even a casual visitor) on this board, it would be good to voice our support in this thread. But for all I know, the lady's only impact on this board this far has been demanding to take her pics down. If you "voice your support" here, you are doing just that and nothing more: voicing your support. She probably doesn't know about it.

I don't mind if people do it. Like you said, it's a very natural thing to do - even if it probably never reaches the person who needs this support. What irritates me is if people say we ought to do it, and failing to post those lines somehow means you don't care. I care, but I also know typing in "We wish you all the well, Lailani!" on some General Discussion thread in Curvage is not very likely to even reach her.

[Ulysses]

Fact of the matter is, you don't know anymore than I do about this situation. Hence why I didn't say "I think Lailani has cancer because of her weight." I didn't say that in the slightest. What I am trying to point out is that it is absurd for someone with no knowledge of the situation to immediately dismiss weight as a cause of the cancer.

Since this is referring to my earlier post, I think I need to clarify a bit.

Obesity certainly does increase the risk of cancer. There's been plenty of links about that here. In what sense you can say that fat - or pretty much anything else - directly "causes" cancer and whether it would be better to say that they "increase the risk of" cancer, that's a tricky question. But sure, there is a correlation between obesity and cancer.

However, referring to Lailani's previous sets and vids, we can also say that, for example, she 1) enjoys barbeque, which means increased risk of cancer simply through charred meat, no matter your weight; 2) she smokes at least sometimes - again, increased risk of cancer; 3) she likes to go sun-bathing - increasing the risk of cancer. And 4) she is fat - increased risk of cancer.

Let's assume she has a melanoma. We don't know, but let's imagine that would be the case. Now, there is an old set on her site where she's sunbathing on some South European beach. For all you know, her sunbathing might be a contributing factor. So does that mean it's heartless and disgusting if somebody still would like to buy the said video and think she looks smoking hot in that?

Besides, I said "probably has nothing to do with her weight". Probably. We can't know for sure.

[Ulysses]

All in all, I think this discussion is to a large extent fueled by good intentions and misunderstandings. I propose those who want to continue it may do it elsewhere, since it doesn't have that much to do with Ms. Lailani anymore.

[Guest Atlya]

All in all, I think this discussion is to a large extent fueled by good intentions and misunderstandings. I propose those who want to continue it may do it elsewhere, since it doesn't have that much to do with Ms. Lailani anymore.

THIS!

[Queen Victoria]

Let me ask you a question in return. What if - and this of course is purely hypothetical - what IF Ms. Lailani or some other webmodel would come and say: "I have a real hard time in my life going on right now. But modelling, and the fact that people want to buy my sets and videos gives me encouragement. It brings a morsel of joy into my otherwise shitty situation." Would you say: "Whoa, a major turn-off. A woman is in pain...no way I can enjoy any pics or vids she produces?" I guess not.

Your hypothetical stinks. Why? Because it's friggin' pornography. No one -- NO ONE -- thinks this shit is an art form. It's fucking commercialized sex. That's it.

So unless your hypothetical individual is the most petty, greedy SOB alive, no, they're not going to say 'my God, it just lightens my life that you spent $20 to watch a video of me sucking some guy's cock.' Now does that $20 pay the bills? Sure. Is it a glowing ember that will help brighten an otherwise sorrowful time? Fuck no.

The setting here is such that some people assume there is this crowd that is demanding and even maybe mentally forcing Lailani to do something she really doesn't want to. I'm repeating myself, but the thing is: she makes the video if she WANTS to make it and she CAN make it. There's no one forcing her (at least as far as I know).

Forcing? No.

Expecting? Yes.

The distinction doesn't change that you're a scumbag.

Or maybe you guys know better, maybe you just know she doesn't really want to do any sets but she's just forced to do it by evil FA's who care nothing for her as a person.

Don't be silly. You don't care about her as a person.

[Ulysses]

Forcing? No.

Expecting? Yes.

The distinction doesn't change that you're a scumbag.

The lady herself says she wants to make a video. I say, "I hope she does." Yeah. Definitely a scumbag.

Sorry.

I didn't realize that was my cue to start reading her mind and telling everyone what she really wants (which, actually, is something totally opposite to what she actually writes - but that doesn't matter because if I were a caring person I would know these things better than she does. She's just a porn star, you know.).

Hope someone pats you on the shoulder for this.

[Sigelman]

Moderator's note: Given the current circumstances and the fact that most of the pictures were removed for copyright reasons back in July, this thread has now been moved here.

No wonder. You and another moderator have found it necessary to permit, and further, a totally abstract discussion about weight and cancer which is absolutely inappropriate in the Lailani thread. Why couldn't you just wish her well, and have your well-meaning and responsible conversations elsewhere.

Thread ruined, with the help of two mods. Great job.

Lailani should be a Legend. Not a toopic of "General discussion." Very sad.

[bonbon]

cancer sucks..... speaking from personal experience.

Its very common and happens to the fat, the skinny, the young, and the old.

Who the fuck cares about the semantics?

brush the sand out of your vaginas and move on.

[Heart and Mind]

No wonder. You and another moderator have found it necessary to permit, and further, a totally abstract discussion about weight and cancer which is absolutely inappropriate in the Lailani thread. Why couldn't you just wish her well, and have your well-meaning and responsible conversations elsewhere.

Thread ruined, with the help of two mods. Great job.

Lailani should be a Legend. Not a toopic of "General discussion." Very sad.

Then just split the thread into two,

[wilan]

Then just split the thread into two,

He can't and I won't.

[A Saucerful Of Harry]

He can't and I won't.

Then why not just close it? I don't see the point of this thread Wilan.

[wilan]

Then why not just close it? I don't see the point of this thread Wilan.

So be it.

**Topic Locked**