An Unflattering Portrait

[SomeTormentedFA]

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BRIEF ACCIDENTS CASE #03: An Unflattering Portrait

Post Title : “accidentally saw a portrait of me”

Thread topic: “Stories / weight_gain_&_related_stories”

posted by: mariammariam

posted : Wednesday 12 October 2016
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“Here’s my accident. Refer to the sketch image (I’ve post it as the cover pic, not worried too much about privacy, it’s only an artist’s impression of me when it comes down to it).

I need to explain the context surrounding the photo first.

After school I moved interstate to get away from my shitty family. My mum’s side is alright, it’s just my dad’s side really wanted me to NOT be an artist. Mum would probably be alright with it except that dad keeps getting her worried about my finances, which ‘can never be funded by a career in the art world’. I just wanted to pursue my art career the way I wanted to, so that’s exactly what I did (as an independent musician, got a small band going, and also a painter).

I started living in a share house with four others three years ago. Geodude (yes, he names himself after the pokemon), Jackie, Diggy-T (a DJ), and Lucia.

Working at the supermarket most days of the week doesn’t  quite cut it as far as bills go, so about three months ago I started to be a bare reference model for art students at an art academy. I only have to show up once a month and it just provides me with a bit more cash month-to-month.

Geodude used to be a gourmet chef, so he knows every unique recipe under the sun. I was eating so badly. I didn’t realise at the time, but it began to show, alright. I was stupid to keep going like that, but for one I was constantly (and still am) at a baseline level of medium stress. Enough of that for a consistent time will de-wire your brain, it’s crazy. For another, Diggy-T, another housemate, was a skip-bin scavenger. He always brings things back with him from supermarkets that throw out perfect food. Once I got over the initial aversion to it all, I started eating it, because, honestly, it’s all good food. You just have to eat it pretty quickly before the expiry-date. That gave me all the more reason to eat stuff, because if you don’t, then you’ve got out of date food you got for free. Who’d waste that? It made me eat when I wasn’t even hungry.

All of a sudden some of my tops weren’t fitting so well and my pants were starting to cut into my hips. Why didn’t I think anything about it? Who knows.

But it came around to getting drawn. I’d done this stuff before in art school, so I wasn’t embarrassed at all. I just rocked up at the artist’s academy, changed in private, sat on the podium and waited for the art students to come in. These classes go on nearly all day because of how long it takes to draw a reference model. By the time it was done there were still a few unfinished. There was one that was left on an easel which caught my eye. Boy did I get a rude shock when I looked at it. It wasn’t even half finished, but it was clear enough to show me what I’d been doing to myself. Just look at it. They’d drawn me with a belly. I had two rolls: one little one under my breasts, and one larger spare tire around my hips.

Back at home I couldn’t help but look at myself in this new light. Yep, sure enough my belly was spilling out like that. I had a muffin top and love handles! My thighs were thicker and I was definitely having a harder time fitting into my jeans.

I don’t want to get any bigger than this (I’ve never been like this in my life) but I have to admit it was the weirdest, most curious thing to see my body change like this. Has it degraded? Or is it just different? I haven’t been able to decide. I’d never thought my belly would be able to jiggle like that. I’ve seen my belly big before, but that was only from being bloated. Never had I seen my belly so soft and squishy. Well, I am in my mid twenties, which is when  your metabolism starts to slow down, so. I need to think more about it.

Display pic is the picture I took of the unfinished sketch. It must have been dumped by someone because of a mistake or something. Who knows. All i know is that now I have a ** belly.”

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posted : Wednesday 12 October 2016