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Cytorah

Curvage Model
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Blog Entries posted by Cytorah

  1. Cytorah
    Dear Diary,

    So. Today has been a very long and stressful day. I'm working on my "media presence" because apparently, I suck at it.
    I am trying my best to keep my head up and stay as positive as I possibly can, and continue to think that I am indeed "good enough".
    As clips are not selling, people aren't subscribing or reacting to my photos, or commenting etc, I feel like I need to learn patience.

    Alot of people dislike/don't understand what my ultimate goal of immobility IS.. and why I wan't this so badly.
    It's not only hard for me to deal with, but even harder to get people to accept that this isn't what I want, It's what I NEED.
    I never understood for the longest time why I wanted to become the fattest woman alive, and of course, I don't expect everyone to understand...
    But now, I've come to terms that while maybe I don't understand it myself, I will continue to do what drives me in life.

    I'm not going to put on a show for people who enjoy the fetish of immobility. This is REAL for me..
    With that said, people don't get that, to ME my health is very important. And while I would LOVE to be able to eat 20k in calories a day..
    I don't want to die... not yet at least.. not at 24 years old.

    I will become immobile and the fattest woman alive, but it will just simply take time.
    All I know is that I'm not going to stop until I die.. but I'm not going to push that extreme all in one go, to get people off.
    If eating 20k calories everyday and having a heart attack and dying at the age of 24 is what people want, fuck em, right?
    I need to do what I WANT TO DO, and I need to gain at my own pace.

    IF I could blow up like Violet, I would, but there is no such thing as "magic gum" and this is not a fucking movie, it's real life.
    With that being said, I will continue to do what I'm doing, and do it at my OWN pace, and continue to gain to immobility no matter HOW LONG it takes.

    I LOVE making clips for people. I have a MAJOR fetish for turning people on. And I love making clips and taking pics and feeling GOOD about myself..
    I'm not just doing this for the FOOD MONEY, although yes, the extra income helps IMMENSELY with my food costs.. since I eat ALOT.
    I do it because I like to please other people, make people happy, and have fans and friends, because in the real world, I don't have anything except my mom.

    Anyways, it's getting late, I'm SURE I will have more to talk about tomorrow night...

    Love,
    Cytorah 🌹
  2. Cytorah
    Dear Diary,

    Another successful day of making clips! I made 4 of them today, and I'm quite proud of one of them in particular, 16 Donuts!!!
    I really felt like I pushed my limits today! - I could have PROBABLY ate more if I wasn't in fear of having a dang heart attack, LOL.
    I made a belly play video, used some massage oil on it, it felt so good, because eating all those donuts REALLY turned me on!
    Then, a belly button play video, and an all boobs video.. oof, I've been a busy little bee today!

    I decided to skip the glasses today and wear my contacts, my eyes are still burning a bit because I haven't worn contacts in quite a bit!
    I am a tired little stuffed potato. Not only did I have 16 BIG donuts, but heavy cream, a litre of whole milk, 2 BIG burgers, chips, chocolate chip cookies,
    AND a big Poutine (for those of you NON-CANADIANS, a "poutine" is french fries, gravy and cheese [curds or shredded cheese] aka, it's VERY fattening! LOL
    Not to mention the amount of drinks I've had today!!! 3 Litres of Brisk Iced Tea, 2 Litres of Pepsi... man I pushed my limits today!!!

    I sat outside alot today with my laptop and edited videos, because, I do EVERYTHING myself.. just me.
    I make and edit my own videos, I take and edit my own photoshoots, I am the ONLY PERSON doing it all..
    So yes, it's hard work, but I really do enjoy it, because I am sitting on my ass all day, and doing stuff I LOVE - Eating, Gaining and Turning people on!

    I get lonely SOMETIMES, not all the time.. I'm still young, so I'm not SEARCHING actively for a feeder/boyfriend.
    I want to enjoy life while I can, without having to worry about someone holding me down, or holding me back.
    It's hard to find someone who is going to stand behind you when you're trying to become the fattest woman alive! Haha

    But anyways, my eyes are burning, and I'm so tired I could cry, and I STILL gotta edit photos!!! 
    So, Goodnight Diary, thankyou for always being here for me! ❤️ 

    Love,
    Cytorah 🌹
  3. Cytorah
    Dear Diary,

    Today has been another long day.. well, a lazy day, but long none the less.
    I ate quite a bit today, didn't record it sadly because me and Mom are watching this Netflix series called "Zoo".
    Usually when I eat, I record a video, but sometimes, Mom needs me, and she's my first priority, I love her!

    So, today I ordered Wendys and ALOT of it! This is what I have:
    2 Double Bacon Cheeseburgers, 2 Spicy Chicken Sandwiches, 10 Nuggets, 2 Large Fries, 2 Large Strawberry Lemonades & A Large Frosty.

    My mom tells me "why do you have to order the whole menu" - She just worries about me, I don't blame her, but I'm still gonna do what I want to do..
    She's asleep now, and now I'm eating cookies and drinking heavy cream. (I like to binge at night when shes sleeping, lol!)

    I plan on making clips tomorrow! I LOVE making clips and I LOVE taking photoshoots, and I LOVE turning you guys on!
    Yes, while I do LOVE the attention, it's genuinely a turn on for me to know that you guys are gaining "pleasure" while I'm gaining weight!
    Tomorrows agenda for clips is a DOUGHNUT STUFFING (paired with heavy cream of course!) or.. Coffee, or Whole Milk.. we will see haha.
    I want to make it sexy and MESSY.. and I'm still thinking of other ideas.. but I'll figure it out along the way!

    I have a bit of a headache, I've been getting headaches at night, I'm assuming it's because of staring at my laptop and phone all day long...
    I'm still learning how to "market myself" properly, and hoping I get the hang of it sooner than later! 
    I really am enjoying my body and my gain.. My body is becoming more and more flabby every single day.. My belly right now is like a GIANT Beach Ball!
    I love rubbing it, and playing with it, I'm addicted to my own fat, is that weird? LOL

    I find now everytime I get Full, I NEED to pleasure myself after, because of the pressure from my belly pushing down... I just HAVE to.
    Even talking about getting full to the brim in making me.. well.. you know.

    Welp, thats it for today.. I'm off to lay down and play with my phone for a while after I upload this clip to curvage 😜 

    Love,
    Cytorah 🌹
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