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Decided to measure myself after 2 years of gaining 🙈 Watch the video on my youtube channel: https://youtu.be/LHmoAzkFtlE

This is something I've wanted to share for a while now. As some of you know, I really enjoy writing. I'm not the best at it but I have always loved weight gain stories and it has been a dream of mine for a while now to someday share my own. I have been working on this saga for almost 6 months. I am going to start sharing bits and pieces with it on this thread. I'm thinking one part a week for the next few weeks. It's as honest as it gets. So here we go Be gentle, this is my first time doing something like this! Hope you enjoy --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CASEY'S STORY I vividly remember being in 2nd grade when I first started to understand the concept of weight. I went to a Catholic school where we made our first communion in 2nd grade. Girls got beautiful pretty white dresses to wear for the ceremony. I remember going to get mine with my mother. It was beautiful. The day of my first communion came and my mom went to get me ready, only the dress wouldn't zip. I had outgrown it. Being only 7 years old, I had no idea what was going on. It was the first time in my life I ever realized body could change so fast. I remember being in 2nd grade, and being the only girl in my class who had to watch what she ate, because inevitably my mother became paranoid about my weight after that.... I continued to struggle throughout elementary school a little bit chubbier than my friends, but never huge. I used to get off the bus after school and hid my snack wrappers in between the couch cushions so my mother wouldn't see. The fixation with over indulgence was always there and I knew it was wrong. Middle school came along and with that came the changes to my body from puberty. I grew into my figure a bit and was more "average" sized compared to my friends. I was no longer the chubby girl, but I was still obsessed with food. I suppressed my fixation with food for so long. Until I was 18 years old, I was a competitive figure skater. In high school, I developed the unhealthy habit of both starvation and occasionally binge eating. This destroyed my metabolism, which is why later on it was so easy for me to BLOW up. But we will get into that later. High school was weird and confusing. I was skinny, but I was obsessed with my belly. Unaware of what feederism was, I always resented myself for this curiosity because it made me feel like a freak. Why couldn't I just want to be skinny like the other girls? I'd starve myself for weeks leading up to a skating competition and then when it was over, I remember I would eat so much so fast until it made me absolutely sick. I vividly remember the sensation of my belly being so full with so much food. It turned me on more than any guy ever had. It was so hard because it was SO confusing. It wasn't normal and it wasn't right. I was so lost in my thoughts and scared of this desire inside me. There were a handful of guys I dated in high school. There was one guy, however, who changed me. I had awful period cramps one night, so my boyfriend at the time rubbed my belly. It was thin then, but the sensation of having my belly rubbed gently and sensually was so erotic and satisfying. I became obsessed with it. I would fake period cramps sometimes just to get him to rub my belly for me. When we cuddled, I would move his hands onto my little belly. I was obsessed, but still not gaining. My senior year was when my over eating started to take it's true form. I was no longer skating, so I wasn't starving myself. I still knew I needed to be thin because that was the social norm. So instead, I would get home from school every day and stuff myself like crazy. Everything in the kitchen. Bags of chips, donuts, cheese, slices of bread, anything I could sneak away and get my hands on. My parents would come home and I'd eat dinner with them as if I wasn't already so full. And then before bed I would pretend to take a shower and purge myself in the bathroom to maintain my small figure. I wanted the fullness and the food, but was afraid to let my body take it's true form. This all changed in college..... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- More? Make sure you follow this thread to get updates when I post them!

Before and After Experiment I have not seen this Article here sorry if Duplicate Post. *Some may find this offensive or personal or maybe fun for her weight gain journey, but due to the criticism of weight gain and feedism culture, sexism, and sex I have put it here. Source: samizdat, batenka.ru, https://batenka.ru 2019 Article: LOVE TO VOMIT: WHO GETS FAT FOR SEX Feederism is a type of fetish in which arousal causes either the process of self-absorption of food, or feeding a partner to maximum sizes. Forfeed.ru, the main Russian site for “lush, full and fans of fullness,” today has more than four thousand registered users. On the instructions of Samizdat Milan, Logunova gained ten kilograms a month in the company of feeders to find out who and why voluntarily overgrows with fat folds and feeds her partner to vomit. My throat pushes out gastric juice mixed with salty cheese. I am sitting over the toilet in a prayer pose. This goes on too long. - Are you fine? - shout to me from behind the door. - Yes! .. Sorry. I'll be out soon. This is all nonsense, honest ... Another urge interrupts me. What the hell - vomiting hit the hair. This time I feel the taste of meat. “Maybe we’ll continue tomorrow?” - No no. I'm fine, thanks! - I try not to give a panic. I put two fingers in my mouth, with the hope that this urge will be the last. On the tongue there is an unpleasant taste of acid. They didn’t write about this on the Internet. No one warned: they say, think about what to eat, because you will vomit this with strangers. When I finish, I leave the staff toilet and sit back in the chair. This morning I came to master Tone for hair coloring, and last night I had a meeting with the “breadwinner”. Tonya is trying to pretend that she does not notice vomit on my hair: - Do you like this color? - Um ... Sorry, I need to move again. While I sit in the toilet, Tonya somewhere finds a powder for a hangover - another interesting theory, but, unfortunately, I did not drink anything yesterday, I just ate. I ate a lot. It’s good that Tonya does not go into details. Out of politeness, she does not ask what is wrong with me, and I am in no hurry to share her story. AESTHETIC POWER OF FAT "HELLO! I'M INTERESTED IN GLUTTONY. I WOULD LIKE TO FEED YOU TO THE SIZE OF A DECENT PIG. AND THEN A GOOD FUCK, HOLDING ON TO YOUR SAGGY SIDES " For about a week now I’ve been sitting on a Russian-language girofetish siteand choosing an ally for myself, filling out a questionnaire along the way: both the site and the thematic group on VK help people find a partner to change their weight. By and large, they are no different from those forums where people help people lose weight. Unless everything is exactly the opposite. Feederism is a type of relationship built on a belief in the aesthetic power of fat. As a rule, in this interaction one of the partners (feeder) feeds the other partner (feed), because one likes to observe obese people, and the second - to receive attention and food. But there are other options: for example, weight gainers like to eat alone and watch only their body changes, and fans of the process of overeating are called stuffers. I fill out a questionnaire. Interest in the fullness of others:admirer of the fullness. Interest in weight gain: nursing. Weight: 65 kilograms. A few words about myself: “For a long time I tried very hard to lose weight - and only now I realized how stupid it is. Now I want to get fat and looking for help! I hope that through this I will love myself. ” I am not lying: I have long tried to lose weight. Back in school years, my weight was about seventy kilograms, and I sat on very strange diets that require a whole week to eat watermelon or raw champignons. I chewed on stupid champignons, wrapped myself with cling film, drank herbal tinctures with a diuretic effect, roared, broke, and roared again. A very fun activity, especially during the teenage period. When I grew up, life became a little calmer: for about five years I went to the gym, ate little, it didn’t help, and I went to the gym again, and now I will have fun and eat at someone else’s expense. The first potential partners are already knocking on private messages. AND THERE WERE CONVERSATIONS Shopping center, evening. I am met by a man aged with a bald head and a gray mustache. His name is Michael, I know that he is a musician. This is my first meeting in the “real”: of all the interlocutors, he was the only one willing to invest in me - at least once, and thanks for that. To find out all the conditions, I also asked in advance whether he wanted an “intimate relationship”. “Actually, yes ... But, as I understand it, are you a virgin?” - I did not deny the legend. We agreed that for the first time we would just meet and eat. In the early evening we arrive at a Georgian restaurant, Mikhail makes an order. He is silent. Trying to stir him up, I ask how he became a feeder. Smacking it, he slowly issues his version: - Probably a matter of age. Somehow, over the years, I felt that I wanted something new, began to experiment - and realized that I really like big women. I also began to make good money, and sometimes I like to go to cafes and restaurants with beautiful girls. We are brought food: three manti with beef and one large khinkali with cheese and tomatoes. It's all for me. Michael will be a fruit drink. - Well, bon appetit! - He smiles and stares at me. I ask him to tell something about himself so that I would not be so embarrassed. He has a wife with whom he no longer has sex, and children with whom he hardly sees. He earns well. Work as a sound engineer from one of the famous chansonniers takes him all his time: he almost always with the orchestra on tours abroad, so he can’t meet with me often, but he doesn’t mind spending time every week. - In general, all this fashion for women-sticks is from gays. They have occupied the fashion industry and choose models that look like boys as much as possible. Well, how do you like khinkali? I'm ** on too salty food. From meat - an unpleasant burning sensation. Cheese is thirsty. I think I lost. “I'm sorry, but I can't take it anymore!” “And there were conversations,” he replies with a grin, but I cannot find what to answer. I come home, open a chat and tell about this meeting to my feeder friends - husband and wife, whom I met on the site and who volunteered to support me. “Strange type,” they comfort me. “Does he want to take you to the restaurant once a week - and that’s it?” Explicitly tight. Among users there are many of them - they just feed women once, fuck and say goodbye. FEATURES OF DOMESTIC FEEDERISM In the USA, there are print magazines, dating apps (Fantasy Feeder, **.com ), the Curvage website, which chronicles weight gain, theme parties all over the country, and even the Grommr community for homosexual feeders in the United States. The topic of fiderism is regularly manifested in foreign television series (in the episodes "Strange Sex" and "Taboo"). Guardian , VICE, and the Huffington Post wrote about the various forms of obesity and overeating fetish . Meanwhile, in Russia it’s easier to find those who are just starting their journey. For the first week at the forum, I managed to meet people who are ready to support each other only by correspondence - most of my interlocutors have never been in an offline partnership. Under the heading of the forum “What will you do if the dream comes true?” users respond that they have little idea of it. Often male feeders admit that they don’t have much money to feed an outsider. I wanted to try and take an active role, but it’s rather difficult to find a feed man on the forum. “So I would like to have a phyton at my place who likes to cook,” Fat Joe writes on the forum. “When I came to the house, a whole mountain of food would be set on the table, but all this would have come to me because my wife is following the figure.” “I would also like a little thing!” - the user notes expanding belly in a post, which means “expanding belly”. - We would go with her to the sports ground, and she would force me to do exercises that I could not do. She would humiliate me, and coming home, we would have passionate sex. Naturally, I would be lying, and she did everything for me. ” I offer him myself as a coach and promise to feed him, but the interlocutor merges. Already in PM he explains: “You see, I don’t need much. This is all at once. Actually, I would like an ordinary girl. ” Family life, children, patriarchy - it is not surprising that dissatisfied women are on the forum: “Our women do not get fat for themselves. They change weight again for men. Now it’s clear why almost always feeds are women and feeders are men. This is all because of sexism, because men do not want to put themselves in a vulnerable position. You need a servant, not a dominant female feeder, ”a caring girl answers someone. I sympathize with both sexes: well, where to find the right partners? MR. AND MRS. CARBONARA I sit on a lunch break on a bench, away from the office, and eat a double portion of carbonara, washing down with a diet cola, so as not to gain weight too quickly. This is a good pasta - it has cream and parmesan. The sauce envelops pasta - these bastards always pity on the sauce, but not this time. My pasta can be eaten forever. But even when it’s completely over, I won’t be upset: the aftertaste will go well with a potato cake, which lies next to it, for dessert. “Take two servings,” a message came from Lesha when I was already at the checkout. “In general, give me two servings, all of a sudden, my boyfriend will also want to,” I said in a cafe, but the skinny cashier looked at the stain on my sweater and obviously did not peck at the excuse. Lesha doctor. Recently graduated from the medical profession, working by profession. He is like my boyfriend and doctor at the same time. He praises me when I answer on time, I don’t argue that I’ll eat, and I behave compliantly, and sometimes even gives me a choice. Today - two and a half weeks from the beginning of the experiment and almost a week and a half, as I am paired with Lesha. I have never seen him, he lives in Novosibirsk. “What if one of my colleagues sees me?” - I write about my worries when I am already sitting in the park. I’m still a little ashamed to have in public - school flashbacks. "Do not worry. Today I’ll make myself carbonara too. Today you and I are Mr. and Mrs. Carbonara, ”he encourages. Lyosha told me to write to him for any reason. He supports me in all endeavors - in all that are associated with my fattening. “You are my best pig,” he says. Our relationship is like webcam modeling, only under the rubric. Every day I take a photo of what I plan to eat, and he transfers me money for these products. “A little more,” he says, “and you can switch to gainers.” Weight gainers are a dietary supplement commonly used by athletes to gain muscle mass. Feeders do not play sports, but they also use weight gainers for their intended purpose - in order to gain a lot of fat faster. The cost of a good gainer on eBay is 1800 rubles. It lasts for a month. “I have problems with my salary now, but from the payday I will buy you a jar,” my breadwinner writes. My stomach is stretched out gradually. Every day I eat a little more than before, and do not feel physical discomfort. This morning I reheated pancakes from the store, yesterday there was a pan of dumplings and mashed potatoes with two meatballs, cream sauce and green chukka. The day before yesterday I took lasagna. Several times a day we have snacks - I prefer cakes, but Lesha insists on buns, and I try to take them so as not to upset him. I have never even seen photos of Lesha, but he leads my diet and tells all the rules of effective mass gain, without revealing his face. Our relationship is feed sport, and it also has its own rules: RULE ONE: CONSUME 20 PERCENT MORE CALORIES IN THE RATIO OF PROTEINS, FATS AND CARBOHYDRATES (BJU) 20-40-40. If you consume calories thoughtlessly, the body will sooner or later stop in weight gain, because this is stress for him. Fatties also need to keep a calorie diary and brag about their achievements. Calculate how much calories per day your weight, height and age are, and add 20 percent. SECOND RULE PREFER FAST CARBOHYDRATES TO SLOW, BUT DISTRIBUTE THEM EVENLY OVER SIX MEALS. Due to the frivolous approach to business, you can eat less than expected, and the body may also try to get the food out too quickly. It’s better to accustom him to a smooth body kit. RULE THREE DO STRENGTH TRAINING. The more muscle mass, the faster you gain and fat, including. That is why athletes have to increase efforts in training: the muscles get used to the loads, but the fat layer accumulates faster. “If you want to deceive me and follow the diametrically opposite rules in order to lose weight, nothing will come of it. It doesn’t work like that. And I still find out. Don’t try to cunning, pork, ”Lesha is sometimes a little rude from time to time, but this, in his words,“ in order to record achievements ”. He asks me not to be shy and to be more relaxed: “In any successful business, including leadership, willpower is very important. If it is, no one else’s opinion is important. ” Lesha spent about five thousand rubles on me, and by the end of the second week we parted. It’s hard for me to explain why. One evening, he simply wrote: "Sorry, mumps, but I’m tired of feederness." Perhaps, tactfully forgetting to attribute "with you." GRANDMA'S EFFECT: WHERE DID THE GIROFETISH COME FROM? The point is not only in mass gain. No one will hang himself if he has not reached his 100 cherished pounds. People generally consider a lot of things sexual. Dressing in a nurse's costume or being tied to a bed. Use chastity belts. Pretending to be furniture. Bring strangers to the matrimonial bed. Fiderism is also heterogeneous, it combines the whole inflorescence of bizarre relationships with food. There are feeders and feeds in whose relations the American edition of VICE notes a similarity to roles in the BDSM culture: domination, control, but at the same time caring and respecting personal boundaries. As in BDSM, both partners should enjoy feeding. Another group is gainers who do not need a partner. They pay attention only to their weight and fatten themselves. But for food fetishists, food is the third party in sex. They put products on the partner and eat from him. Bandage your hands and arrange races, who will eat more. They fill the bathtub with sweet soda and flounder in it. Where do the feeders, feeds, gainers and food fetish come from? To the question, how did my new friends understand that they like being overweight, they answer like this: “The realization that I am a feeder came with the advent of the Internet home. I was 17 years old. Almost the first thing I did was google it and found the article “craving for fullness” on Wikipedia, one of the users recalls. - The very topic of fatties excites me from the age of five for sure, and the first girofantasy dreamed about seven years old. I liked the cartoons, where the characters were a little more complete than the others - Winnie the Pooh, for example. I tried not to think about all this, but that I’m not alone - I realized only here on this site. And my sincere human thanks to the people here. ” “This happened when, at the age of 14, I found thematic sites. Suddenly it turned out that in the world there are such strange people as I, and before that I was haunted by a deep crisis of personality. While all my classmates were playing football and discussing normal girls, I frantically rushed about to find out what was happening to me, why I was so crazy, and whether I was threatened with three meals a day with haloperidol and regular electroshock therapy instead of uni, when I grow up, thirty-year-old and 105 -kilogram programmer-designer, conducting detailed photo reports on weight gain. - I just did not find in ordinary erotica anything like most. Instead, I felt wild pleasure when I grew out of another thing and stopped getting into it. ”+ Another interlocutor, a thirty-one-year-old programmer from Novosibirsk, says that everything began in the summer with my grandmother, who fed him to the “state of a bun”: “I really don’t remember what I was then, but this summer fattening apparently sowed grain in me that I now have a tendency to feed. I called it the “grandma effect”. ” + END OF THE MONTH: BE LIKE A SANDWICH If you formally achieve your desired weight, you can still lose. Not the fact that you will begin the same relationship or you will not be disappointed in your partner. We planned our meeting with Gregory for a long time, and I expect that he will give me the sensations for which there were all these endless correspondence. Gregory is the most experienced feeder I have found. He promises that everything will be serious: in the hotel, which he will rent for us, we will have a real fat session. On the opposite side of the street, the car stops and honks. It's him. I run across the empty evening road and sit in the front seat. At the wheel - fat, two hundred kilograms, a man with a beard. “So what would you like to eat?” - Well ... Actually, I don’t understand this, so far I eat little. Probably a sandwich. “If you eat as much as I, maybe you yourself will finally become like a sandwich.” Gregory laughs terribly. In correspondence, I boasted to him that while I was sitting on the site I already managed to gain the treasured kilograms, but he looks at me with pity, like a wounded monster. Sighs - clearly expected more from my appearance. We decide to go to the food store. The car starts moving and we move. In silence. “Maybe you can tell me how you want everything to be?” I ask him, trying to get emotionally closer. He is full of unbearable melancholy: “As I want, it never will be.” But if you dream ... First, you and I will undress. We’ll go naked to the jacuzzi, which will soften our skin a little. I will look at the folds of your abdomen and imagine how you ever get really fat. Then we will leave the bathroom, I will bind your hands tight and bind to the bed so that you could not get out. I will open the bags of food and will push it into you with my own hands. “What if I get sick?” I ask with interest. “Not if, but when ... When you finally feel sick, we go back to the bathroom and wash you.” And then let's go back and start all over again. So in a circle until our food runs out. “And there will be ... Well ... Some sort of climax?” - The climax? .. I never reached it. “I mean ... Sex.” - Sex? In general, I'm not really interested in sex. But you, apparently, really need him now, right? Gregory gets out of the car slowly and moves about, clawing like a bear. With shortness of breath, he rearranges one and the second paw, I overtake him a little each time, but then I stop myself and surrender. Already in "Auchan" he slowly looks around, and approaching the bakery products, exclaims: “And what, will you be THERE?” I suggest evaluating the finished meal. - Well, it's inconvenient to stuff it into your mouth. And where do we heat it up? “It’s hard for him to please, but I make another attempt — and I’m leading him to the fruit already.” Maybe grapes? “Look how tasteless it is!” Auchan is not our first place. Before that, we also went to VkusVill, a bakery nearby, and Starbucks. The script was repeated from time to time. “The store closes in half an hour,” a voice is heard from the speaker under the Auchan ceiling. Grisha breaks down. - Listen, let's move it. I can’t in such conditions! He says. I look at him. Gregory spoils my evening with all his might. - Yes, we could not meet a lot of time! - I'm crazy. - What, you could not prepare? Why couldn't you say what you want? A couple of people in the store turn around. “Yes, you understand ... Nothing will come of us,” he says almost in a whisper. - I can’t eat it and watch how you eat it! I am demonstratively leaving, throwing an empty basket in front of him. - Wait ... Okay, come on! Let's eat in the food court and chat. I will answer all your questions. And next time I will do everything fine. Come on We go to the food court for a very long time. I look at the clock - Burger King will close in ten minutes. “Well, let's hurry, now they’ll take it all out,” I say, running around him. “Please! ..” Gregory addresses the cashier. - What do you have from the burgers? Is that all? Yes, two. Wait, maybe there is something else? No, give it all. How much? Here are all of them. “I also want potatoes,” I add, gracefully playing my part as a little cute feed. - And the potatoes! So, on our tray: two double woes, four cheeseburgers, two hamburgers, one huge pack of french fries. Two colas of 0.5. All equally. - Are you satisfied? He wonders. I nod. I'm embarrassed for my tantrum. The month of feederism is drawing to a close. I ate new kilos, but still did not love myself, as stated in the questionnaire. - How much have you already earned while sitting on the site? “... about ten.” - Pffff! Girls are gaining more with me. Gregory grins and makes the first bite, destroying a third of the cheeseburger at a time. A little champing, he plunges into the story. His story of leadership began in the nineties - when the site had a couple of headings in arial font on a white screen, without pictures and everything else: “We didn’t even think about meetings. Gluttony, with our money, was a golden dream. ” It was difficult to find female feeders, the first meetings began already in the two thousandths. Hotels were chosen at random, you never know what comes across: cheap places on the Internet did not have photos yet. “Once I came to the room with the girl, and there BDSM-causals. All in red. No one warned me. How can one eat in such an environment? We turned and left. She had norms - she didn’t buy food. We generally have a Russian mentality, even if a woman is a feeder, no difference: in any case, a man pays. Yes, the time was good, ”Grigory sighs. Once, he continues, they competed with “one fatty” who would eat dinner faster, and then hugged in front of the TV: “She was very beautiful, but she was not at all inclined to plumpness. She could eat more than me, but the weight still didn’t move. ” About an hour has passed, we are sitting in an empty shopping center. All establishments have closed, but they are not driving us out because of a cinema that is still operating. I eat up my three burgers with a bite of potatoes. Gregory could do everything in a matter of minutes and ate one more one, realizing that I could not master. As a result, I left half the potatoes on the table. “I'm sorry, but I need a partner of my experience,” Gregory told me, and then he took me home and wished me luck. I was not offended by him. Despite the fact that I didn’t save too much on food and didn’t find love (and even gained weight), I still learned one lesson: in this world it’s hard to be alone. Any problem that tears you from the inside, any deviation from the generally accepted norm that you carry in yourself, will certainly be shared by someone else. You are not sick - unless you try a little to find your own. You may need to search more sites. Misfortune loves company. This is what I would like to say to Gregory goodbye, but few people are interested in such thoughts. When I tell my friends about the experiment, people ask: “Tell me ... Is it scary to get fat?” The answer is no. The process goes unnoticed. It's scary when I already gained weight. Coming from Tony after dyeing my hair, I fall on the bed with the feeling that I lost all 10 gained kilograms at once. I feel like a lifeless meat, a pig, which will soon be slaughtered so as not to suffer. Soon I will quietly fall asleep.