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  1. After someone who is now blocked came to me in chat and wanted to talk about fat, fat chicks, this or that model, etc, I cut right to the chase: "You have your penis out and you want me to help you orgasm, right?" Oops. Silence. Or protest. You can always spot this guy, too. His chats always open up with "Hi" followed by "how's it going" which is like someone coming to your door and knocking and when you open the door, they stand there and go "Hi" and "How's it going". I go through this at FF, too. The account has inevitably been created less than 24 hours ago, it's grey face with height listed as 0.0, and the person usually deletes their account by the end of the day, and they're back next week. Dear Boys- I am here to look at women, to meet them in real life, to form a relationship and hopefully get married again, eventually, down the road. I have all the men I need in my life. I know it's tough being a fat guy and trying to get a woman interested in you, and that sucks. Fat guys have it the worst- even most of the BBW and SSBBW you meet aren't into feeding you into immobility. It's not even so much your size that turns them off, it's the immediate escalation of the conversation into "I'm horny - someone help me cum! I want to be 500 pounds!" That's why women put in their profiles: "Not interested in gaining guys, sorry!" The other thing is you have this fantasy of sitting around all day just getting huge, and not doing shit. But there are enough guys in the world who do that anyway - women aren't looking for a guy who doesn't take care of business, who doesn't work, who just wants to be waited on, and fucked whenever he wishes to be fucked. Good luck with that, boss. You hang around the fat girl sites day and night, and you are lonely. I understand. But I can't tell you how many men come into chat with "Sup" "Hows it going" and then launch into whatever it is they want to help them cum, and I have to say, once again: "I AM NOT HERE TO HELP YOU GET OFF. GOOD LUCK. PLEASE DON'T PM ME AGAIN." Polite-like. Even as I write this, I see a little chat window from three days ago, where a member wanted to talk about "my fat wife" while typing with one hand, and I had to say "Thanks but not here to help you cum." I've already blocked him but he PROTESTS! And every day, that little red indicator goes from 2 to 3 to 5, like the motherfucker, over three days, is still in that chat and still mad that I called him out and "Please do not contact me again, good luck!" goes ignored. And the little indicator noise just went off, and now it's 6. For Pete's sake, and for Pizza's sake! Get out more. Earn money to hire a skinny female dom to laugh at your folds or blimp you up to 25,000 pounds Do what you need to do. But please, let me alone. I'm not tall, I'm not a movie star looks-wise. I'm not special. But I'm sure I can't be the only one who is the subject of unwanted male attention in chat. "Somebody! Anybody! Ah, look at all the lonely people! Won't you please engage me in my fetish?" That is all and I hope this isn't as serious as I may have made it sound. Peace
  2. ((I hope I'm not too late to the fantasy party! I've been mulling over this sort of story for a while--both a fantasy and a male-centric weight gain story--and I finally decided to get in on it. I know that this might not be the best place for a BHM story, but I hope that you all enjoy it. Do let me know what you think, as I'd like to do more stories in this universe!)) THE WIDENING WARRIOR AND THE ALCHEMIST It was a cool autumn day in the kingdom of Tantris, where the trees grow strong and tall, the rains are never fierce, and a song can always be heard in the wind. The crisp air and fallen leaves made travel a delight along most any road, but especially the Queen’s Road, which was a scenic route that led to the royal castle. Travelers of all kinds made their way up and down the road: merchants peddling their wares, wanderers trekking across the land, and adventurers in search of their next quest, among countless others. One of the latter was making his way down the long road with a sword on his back, modest clothes, and little else. Wade Leguerrier was an impressive young man who stood out in most any crowd, be it his height, fantastical hair, or his slab of iron that he called a sword. He stood as tall as a Solstice tree; so long was he that they had not made the bed that could fit him. His head was covered with a thick mat of sapphire locks that were as spiky as a rosebush. The beastly longsword on his back was so tall that the hilt reached above his head and came within a hair’s breadth of grazing the ground as he walked; by the same token, it was so broad that it could be used as a proper shield. Naturally, carrying around such a monstrosity required great strength, which Wade was thankfully blessed with in spades. His sleeveless tunic left his powerful arms, lean and muscular, for all the world to see. If one were to catch him without his shirt, they would have found a body that looked to be chiseled by a master sculptor; there was nary a trace of fat anywhere on him. His legs were much the same, resembling those of an athlete than your average adventurer. The only things that marred his physical perfection were the scars across his body, including one ran down his face from his right temple to the bottom of his left cheek. He was what people imagined a warrior of old to be, yet he had barely seen twenty-one summers and had only recently begun his adventures. As the young fighter walked along happily munching on an apple, he heard what sounded like a scuffle just around the bend. Tossing his apple to the woods, he ran towards the commotion and came upon a not uncommon scene on the Queen’s Road: bandits assailing a merchant and no sign of a sheriff to stop them. Wade sighed as he strode up to the scene, his hand on the hilt of his sword, a fire in his eyes, and a growl at his lips. “Excuse me, but something tells me that’s not your cart,” the warrior called out to the bandits. “Care to tell me why you’re ripping it apart then?” “Mind your business, stranger; this don’t concern you,” growled one of the brigands, a jagged dirk in his gloved hand. As he walked closer despite more of the goons turning to him with weapons drawn, Wade counted five men thereabout. He retorted, “I swore my oath to defend the innocent wheresoever I go; so yes, this does concern me.” When the last of the crooks turned from the cart to face him, a small head popped up from behind the damaged wagon. It looked to be a goblin girl with skin as green as a mint leaf, hair the color of cherry blossoms, and freckles dotting her face like stars on a night sky. The girl stared wide-eyed and fearful, and that strengthened the fighter’s resolve even more. He slowly pulled his sword free, the sight of which made a couple of the bandits back away in fear. Their leader, a ruffian with wiry hair and a thick face, grunted, “Stand your ground, cowards. It’s all for show; I bet that thing is as useful as a shield of leaves. Brokko, take him.” Brokko, a burly brute that looked more like a monkey than a man, ran forward with a hefty hatchet in hand. Before he could get anywhere close to striking distance, Wade swung his sword out and caught the bandit in the ribs. The blade was wedged in Brokko’s body for a moment until the sheer weight of the sword sent him flying into a tree. The display made the weakest of the brigands quiver in his boots, but the boss would not be deterred. “Ratcher, Pronk, get the bastard!” he shouted as two more goons raced ahead. The putrid pair were handled with ease by the warrior, who seemed almost bored by their attempt on his life. When they drew their weapons back, he brought the blade up to parry them; striking such a weapon sent a shock through their arm as though they had hit a rock. In the blink of an eye, Wade brought the blade down across both their bodies, which almost cut Pronk clean in two and left Ratcher with his guts spilling out on the ground. That was too much for the leader, who only grew more rageful as his men were cut down like saplings. He pointed his dirk at Wade and roared, “You might have killed those worthless maggots, but Ernst will be the death of you!” Unfortunately, Ernst’s attack was as successful as his lackies’, which was to say not at all. Wade waited until he was just in range before he brought the sword down on the bandit’s head, not only driving the blade through his skull but also crushing him like a piece of paper. The crook crumpled to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut, and yet his assailant had not even broken a sweat. It was the final straw for the last sniveling coward, and he took off in a sprint down the road. He did not get far before a bottle full of a red liquid shattered against him and exploded in a brilliant flame. “That’ll learn ya, sons of whores!” the goblin girl jeered as she walked out from behind her cart and over towards her savior. She was a tiny thing, like most goblins, and she came up to about the middle of Wade’s thigh. Around her petite body was a gray apron, behind which the boy could see a top that left most of her abdomen exposed and black pants that accentuated her curvy hips and legs. When she got close to Wade, she extended her hand in gratitude as she said, “Much obliged, stranger! My cart got caught in a pothole, and those dastards decided to jump me while they had the chance. Lucky they couldn’t break in; I’m carrying around a small fortune in potions and elixirs!” “Lucky indeed,” the warrior chuckled before glancing at the cart. “How much does it weigh?” “I would need all twenty of my brothers and sisters to move it,” the goblin sighed before glancing over to Wade. “You might be able to swing that blade like it was a rag, but you’re not going to be able to lift that thing on your own.” The muscular man smirked down at the merchant before sauntering over to the cart and crouching beside it. He took a deep breath, gripped the side, and then hoisted it free of the hole it was lodged in as though it weighed no more than a brick. The cart righted itself again and Wade inspected it to make sure there was no great damage from the bandits. “Looks like you’re good to go!” he exclaimed as the goblin girl ran over with a gob-smacked look on her freckled face. She gestured back and forth between the cart and Wade, stunned that this beansprout of a man was able to lift something so heavy, which earned a good-hearted chuckle from the warrior. “I’m stronger than I look.” “Boy, you are just full of surprises,” she giggled as she walked back around the cart. “I thought I was done for, and then here you come with a chunk of iron on your back and muscles for days. You need something for your troubles, and I won’t take no for an answer.” The warrior shook his head and waved his hand. “That’s mighty generous of you, but I can’t—” “Not taking no for an answer!” she butted in as she dug around in her cart. “I don’t have much in the way of spare gold, but I think I’ve got just the thing for a big’un like yourself. Aha!” When she popped back out, the goblin had a vial of green liquid in her hand. She passed it along to Wade and explained, “That there is a strength elixir I’m cooking up; you get to have the first taste!” “Not that I don’t doubt your talent, but is it safe?” the fighter asked as he swished the elixir around. “Safe as can be!” the merchant exclaimed as she puffed her chest up with pride. “That right there gets the Audra Dranghy Seal of Approval!” The blue haired boy laughed and retorted, “All right then. Let’s see if it meets the Wade Leguerrier Seal of Approval.” With that, he popped the cork off and tilted the vial to his lips. His eyes lit up as he downed the verdant drink in two gulps, and he pulled it away with a gasp of surprise. Wade remarked, “Well, I’ll be damned. It might look like swamp water, but it tastes like an apple tart…with cinnamon, no less! That’s a mighty fine concoction, Audra.” The green girl beamed like sunshine as she took the empty beaker back. “Much obliged! I’m hoping to make this a regular feature in my wares; there are lots of people that’d pay top dollar to feel stronger.” “I should say so,” the fighter remarked. Just then, he heard his stomach gurgle and he put a hand to his abs. He felt like he had not eaten in a week, and to make matter worse, he had not a crumb on him. Audra must have sensed this, as she returned to her cart and came back with a loaf of bread and a couple pieces of fruit. As soon as she offered them up, the warrior eagerly took them and tore off a third of the loaf with his teeth. “Gods, I’m sorry,” he muttered to the alchemist, “I don’t know what’s come over me, but I feel hungrier than I’ve ever been my entire life!” Audra waved off the apology. “S’okay; I would be surprised if you weren’t. It’s a common side effect of booster potions; your body needs more nutrients to go along with the new muscles you’re building. If you need more, I’ve got plenty of food where that came from.” Wade shook his head. “Oh, I couldn’t possibly. I don’t want to eat up your stocks.” “Honestly, you’d be doing me a favor! Goblins only need a little bit of food every day, like how I had a few berries for breakfast. I always tend to get too much, and it all goes to waste, so you’d be helping me a ton. Think of it as another form of payment for saving my bacon,” the petite girl explained. It all sounded good to the starving warrior, who quickly devoured the bread and apples like some voracious beast. After spitting out the last of the apple seeds, Wade grinned and said, “All right then. I just hope you’ve got enough; I feel like I could eat a wyvern! I haven’t been this hungry since I fasted for training.” “Afraid I’m fresh out of wyverns,” Audra snickered as she went back to her cart for more food. She returned with another loaf of bread, a wedge of cheese, and some milk to wash it all down with. Again, Wade all but ripped them from her hands and stuffed his mouth as full as he could, which was not that far off from his usual table manners. In between bites, he asked the goblin, “Where are you heading?” “I’ll be stopping in Riverton to restock, and then I’ll be heading to Moonfall; that’s where I get some of my biggest sales every year,” she answered, “What about you? Looking for a tourney? Mercenary work? Off to save a damsel?” Wade took a long draught of milk before he told Audra, “Questing. I was going to stop in Riverton for the night and then make my way to Moonfall in search of some information.” “An adventurer! How exciting,” the goblin cooed in delight as she clapped her hands together. “Y’know, I always wanted to go on an adventure; were it not for my life’s work here, I would run off in a heartbeat.” “Tell you what: if you’ll have me, I can accompany you to Moonfall; it’ll be like an abbreviated adventure,” the warrior suggested with a smile. Audra giggled and stuck out her hand. “It’d be a pleasure. If nothing else, you can be my guard in case any other bandits get the bright idea to attack us.” “Then I guess we’re a party,” Wade chuckled as he shook the girl’s tiny hand in his own massive mitt after switching the food to one hand. “We should probably start up again; we’ll want to make Riverton before sundown.” “Agreed,” the alchemist said with a nod. She trotted around to the front of the cart, lifted the handle bar from the ground, and pulled the bulky bundle along with some effort. No wonder why: the whole cart was bigger than she was and weighed more than five or six of her. Before she could go much further, Wade stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Let me,” he offered as he took the handle from her and proceeded to pull the cart along as though it weighed as little as a feather. As he walked along, he finished the last of the cheese before stifling a belch; hungry as he was, he had eaten a touch too fast for his stomach. Audra trotted along happily now that she did not have to worry about pulling her cart along for a few days. It was serendipitous that the warrior should come along to help her, and such a strong one at that; she had never seen anyone so slim and strong before. Now she was traveling on this warrior’s quest, albeit for the three weeks it would take to travel to Moonfall. Regardless of how brief it was, the alchemist was tickled pink by the idea that she was an adventurer and not some miserable merchant. She would have to thank him the only way she knew how: free potions and food until they got to their destination; perhaps even beyond Moonfall, if she played her cards right. *** They managed to reach the bustling village of Riverton a little before sundown, when folks were making their way home and businesses were closing for the day. Audra, much more versed in traveling, directed Wade to an inn that she frequented every time she came to town. The softest beds for miles, she had said. After the day he had, Wade would put that to the test; he felt like he would fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Before he could think about sleep though, the goblin girl suggested they have dinner, as the innkeeper’s wife made the best dishes. The warrior was still feeling bloated from the big lunch earlier, but his stomach was growling like a hungry dog and demanding more sustenance. Thankfully, they were just in time for that night’s dinner: a simmering bowl of corn chowder with salted bread to accompany it. Wade tried to limit his eating but could not help asking for seconds and even thirds, which earned him a playful chide from the innkeeper. “I do believe you’ve had enough, young man; we must leave some for the other guests, ay?” asked the matronly woman. She collected his bowl and winked while she told him, “Besides, you’ll want to save your appetite for tomorrow morning; I’ll be making my world-famous creamy egg pie. And if you’re up early enough, I might be able to slide you a few extra slices.” The warrior cracked a grin as he remarked, “If it’s as good as the chowder, I would appreciate that very much.” By the time he got to his room, Wade was so drowsy that as soon as his bed was within reach, he collapsed onto it without a second thought. Audra shook her head and chuckled at the display from her traveling companion before taking off his boots and sliding the lanky wanderer onto the mattress proper. While the blue haired boy snoozed, the petite alchemist went down to her cart in the stables to work on some potions for the following day. One could never be sure when they would meet a customer on the Queen’s Road, after all, and she wanted to have a little something for her savior when he woke up again. “I think he’ll like this lots and lots,” Audra remarked with a smile as she swished a familiar green liquid around. “Strapping fellow like himself would probably appreciate a good boost of strength, especially if he’s so keen on questing.” After getting back to her bed in the wee hours of the morning, the goblin girl awoke and found that Wade was gone. A quick glance at a pocket watch showed that it was time for breakfast, and if his appetite was as strong as yesterday, that was where he would be. When Audra made her way down to the first floor, she found her companion scarfing down more food than she could eat in a month. The innkeeper fixed him what looked to be a third plate of egg pie accompanied with other fixings, least of all thick ribbons of bacon. “Land’s sake, boy, you’re liable to gag if you don’t slow down,” the matron chuckled as she set the plate down before Wade. “Oh, don’t worry; I don’t intend to die from breakfast,” the warrior smirked as he stuck an entire strip of bacon down his gullet. “Wouldn’t be fitting for a graduate of St. Duncan’s Academy.” As Audra joined her bodyguard at the table, she asked, “You went to the academy?” Wade nodded and swallowed a large mouthful before answering, “Sure did! Just finished this past month, actually; graduated with top marks in combat.” “I can see how,” the alchemist giggled as she nibbled on a slice of bread. She would have attempted more conversation, but her warrior friend seemed so invested in his meal that she did not want to bother him. More than that, she just enjoyed watching a man with an appetite; none of the boys back home could eat like that, even with an appetite enhancing enchantment. To see a fellow like Wade tucking into a meal like it was a fight to the finish made her feel warm and fuzzy inside and instilled a desire to learn how to cook. When the warrior had finally finished his breakfast, he patted his stomach as he leaned back in his chair. He grinned appreciatively at the innkeeper and told her, “My own mother couldn’t have made better food than that. My compliments to the chef! “And to you, chum,” the warrior said to Audra. He lifted an arm and gave a quick flex to show that his muscles had swollen up a good bit from yesterday. “That elixir you fixed up for me yesterday worked wonders! It would take me months to get much bulkier, but you managed to do it in a day.” “I knew you’d like it! The results speak for themselves, don’t they?” asked the goblin girl with a smile. She reached out over the table to give Wade’s bicep a squeeze, only to find that it was almost hard as a rock. “Boy, and I thought you were chiseled before.” At the flirty remark, her bodyguard blushed and stopped flexing, though his muscles still stayed prominent. He mumbled, “I, ah…I just remembered that I offered to help the innkeeper with a chore as payment for so much food. I’ll be back in just a minute.” When Wade rose from his chair, Audra noticed that his arms were not the only things that had gotten bigger, though not in a muscular sense. His tunic stretched over a dome of a gut that jutted from his middle like a woman in the middle of her pregnancy; the bump bounced as he walked, as though he had stuffed a ball underneath his shirt. Down below his belt, which the goblin noted was loosened a notch or two, thickened thighs filled out his pants and a rounded rump bobbled as the warrior made his way to the kitchen. “Seems there’s a side effect I overlooked,” the alchemist whispered as she made mental notes for the next batch of elixir. *** If Wade noticed his gain, he did not say anything about it, though Audra caught glimpses of him as they traveled down the Queen’s Road. His new weight did nothing to impact pulling the potion cart; if anything, it only made things easier. Before they left town, Audra had been sure to stock up on more food for their trip, knowing full well how hungry the warrior was going to be every time he drank another elixir. Again, he asked no questions about getting any extra supplies, opting instead to lick his chops at the selection of food the alchemist purchased. When they stopped for lunch, the celadon girl offered up a new bottle of strength elixir to her bodyguard, who eyed it with careful curiosity. Wade swished the elixir around and asked, “Is it safe to take another one after yesterday? I’d swear there was some rule about not taking permanent boosts daily.” “Yeah, there is—live a little,” the goblin answered with a smirk. “Or are you seriously telling me you’re going to pass on enough strength to crush boulders with your bare hands?” “All right, I’ll have more,” the warrior replied, “but don’t think I don’t know what’s going on.” Audra’s nerves kicked in and her heart skipped a beat. “Wh-What do you mean?” “I’ve known some alchemists in my time at the academy, and they’re all the same. Everyone’s a guinea pig,” Wade explained, though the grin on his face made the answer feel more jovial than cynical. He quaffed the elixir down and lapped his lips for any extra drops; it truly was one of the tastier concoctions he had ever imbibed. “Still, if you keep this recipe, I might just be your permanent guinea pig if it means getting more.” A wave of relief washed over the potion maker as she settled back in her seat with a confident smirk that belied her anxious nerves. “Then I hope you’re ready, because I want to make sure that elixir is perfect by the time I get to Moonfall.” Wade’s stomach growled in response. The young warrior blushed and patted the soft swell of his gut before saying, “Only if you’ve got enough food to last us the whole trip.” Audra knew she had more than enough to sustain Wade throughout their journey, even if his appetite and capacity escalated with each new elixir. It was a good thing she did, as every time he drank the strength-enhancing potion, the warrior grew as ravenous as a swarm of locusts. He devoured food like there was no tomorrow; it did not matter if it was cooked in a meal or not. Starting each day with a new elixir left him starving throughout the entire day, which meant that he was almost constantly eating from morning till night. As expected, the effects were obvious with each passing day. Wade’s arms were more muscular than they had ever been by the third day of their travels, and they only grew more so as the days passed. His bicep alone was as big as a grapefruit when he flexed, which gave him the appearance of a seasoned veteran rather than a greenhorn. Those were the only parts of his body that were muscular though; everything else was coated in an ever-growing layer of blubber. The blue haired boy’s face took on a rounder look as a second chin slowly swaddled around his neck, his thighs filled up like kegs of beer, and his backside resembled a pair of bowling balls crammed down his trousers. Most impressive of all was his belly, which was fast becoming a mountain of pudge. It hardly sloshed around when Wade walked, hinting at the strong abdomen underneath, and jutted out like a pregnant woman’s stomach. It grew rounder and more prominent with each passing day, to the point that five days into their trek, the rookie warrior had a beer belly to rival the best drunkards. Despite all these changes, Wade never noticed how much beefier and lardier he had become; his focus was solely on his immense strength. “Audra! Audra, watch this!” he called out one evening while gathering firewood. The alchemist glanced up from her cart, where she was preparing another elixir, and watched as Wade waddled over to a towering tree. He tossed his sword into the air with all the ease of throwing a twig, caught it single-handedly, and slammed the blade into the trunk. Audra expected it to wedge into the tree, but much to her shock and awe, the sword went straight through in one clean chop. As it came tumbling down, Wade raised his thick arms and jumped in victory, though he got little air in doing so. “Did you see that?” he asked excitedly. “It used to take four swings, but that was one fell swoop! I took that tree down in one blow!” “Yes, you certainly did,” Audra mumbled, distracted as she was by how Wade’s tunic had risen to reveal a great swath of doughy blubber. “By the time we get to Moonfall, you might just be able to break boulders with your bare hands.” “You think so? That would be swell,” Wade remarked as he wiped the sweat from his brow, which caused a few threads to pop under his arm. “I had a friend back at St. Duncan’s who could do that, but he was a monk; I’ll never understand how they can break rocks and punch through armor when they’re thinner than a broomstick.” Audra hummed in agreement, though her mind was far from the conversation. It was far more fun to watch Wade’s thick backside wobble about in his trousers, bouncing about from side to side and threatening to destroy the seam across the seat with every movement. She could never have anticipated that he would plump up the way he had, but she was not about to argue with the results, even if he was eating his way through their supplies with abandon. Most curious of all was how the widening warrior had failed to register his growth, even as his newfound curves tested his clothes at every turn. If he kept expanding, he would be waddling into Moonfall in rags, which made the pint-sized alchemist turn a fine gray—a goblin’s blush. As Wade took the tree apart bit by bit, he glanced over his shoulder at his companion while she worked on her potions and wondered how he had gotten so lucky. His first time out on the road and he stumbled into the company of an alchemist that was not only incredibly talented but cute as a button and clever as a fox. In his time at the academy, Wade had more than his share of ladies from every walk of life, as was befitting of an accomplished athlete like himself, but he had never been with a girl that enticed him quite like Audra did. For one so bookish, she had the tight body that many a maiden would kill for: a lean stomach as flat as a board, modest breasts that were no bigger than apples, and a curvy backside that filled out her pants just right. She was also not afraid to flaunt her figure, regularly walking around with her abdomen exposed, her jade skin drinking in the sun like hungry ivy. All this would have attracted his gaze, but he was also fascinated with how well-versed she was in so many subjects, from the myriad elements that went into her elixirs to the fauna they passed on their way to Moonfall. Wade would be the first to admit that he was not a knowledgeable man and hated studying in school, but Audra somehow found a way to make learning fun. All of which was to say that he thought himself blessed to be traveling with her, and he hoped that when they reached their destination, she might allow him to accompany her a while longer. It would be a shame to part with her so soon, especially when they were just starting to really get to know each other. He just hoped that she did not mind his newfound appetite: as much as he wanted to believe the old saying that the best way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, he did not want to come off like a pig. It was bad enough that he was already a lug that could never keep up whenever she got into the finer parts of alchemy; he would hate for her to think he was some sort of slob. The warrior was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of threads popping in his shirt. He glanced down at his side and saw how the seam was coming undone, creating a gap that allowed a dollop of tanned pudge to peek out. Curious, he disregarded the glob of flab that poked through and circled the damaged seam with his finger tip, gauging how bad it truly was. It was the third such sign of wear and tear on his tunic in the last week, which could only lead to one conclusion. “I must be wearing out this old rag,” Wade decided, oblivious to the real cause for his failing wardrobe. “I’ve had these for a few years now, so it might be time to put them out to pasture. When we get to Moonfall, I’ll have to see about visiting a tailor; I’m sure the last thing Audra wants to see is me wandering around in rags.” *** As the second week on the road passed, it became impossible for even Wade to remain oblivious to his gains. His fears were coming to pass, as his traveling clothes broke apart and covered less of his body with each passing day. Not only did his tunic no longer cover his entire stomach, but it had torn so many seams up both sides that it had become a poncho of sorts. Likewise, his trousers were popping along his thighs like sausage casings, allowing little dollops of blubber to peek out. The warrior was grateful that he had not split the seat of his pants yet, but he knew that it was only a matter of time. “Say, Audra, can I ask you something?” Wade hummed to his companion one night. “Dinner will be ready in just a little bit, I promise,” the alchemist assured her hefty friend while she tended to a ** of stew. “Want another loaf of bread while you wait?” “Yes—I mean, no,” the warrior corrected himself. “I wanted to ask you something…something that’s been bothering me that last few days. Do you think I’m getting fat?” The question nearly made Audra drop her ladle in the cauldron and she glanced back at Wade, who sat on the trunk of a tree he had cut down. Was he getting fat? No, he was already fat and only getting fatter. He was a far cry from the lean, ropy young man she had met not a fortnight prior; he was not even the thick, bulky warrior from the week before. The man before her was fat enough that he would fit in perfectly at a circus sideshow, not traveling the roads as a wandering adventurer. Wade’s handsome face was swaddled in so much fat that he had lost any semblance of a neck and had cheeks that seemed permanently stuffed. A fine layer of pudge accumulated across his broad shoulders and down his arms, filling them with so much flab that even his increasingly powerful biceps found it hard to make themselves known. Even his hands seemed to be fatter, for his palms were pliable like a meat patty and his fingers thick like sausages. Once, the warrior used to bounce his pecs around as a party trick to entice women back to his room. His chest could still bounce, yes, but not under his control; the flabby breasts wobbled about like gelatin with every awkward step he took, whether he liked it or not. They were becoming generous handfuls that reminded him of a satyr he had after a jousting tournament the previous spring, though her breasts were far perkier while his just sloped down his chest like melted ice cream. Though they remained covered by his tunic, they were abundantly clear through the overtaxed fabric. They sat atop a belly that defied belief, especially when one considered that Wade had clearly defined abs not two weeks prior. It had started like a drunkard’s gut—round as a balloon and jutting out from his waist as though he had stuffed a pillow up his shirt. As the days ticked by and his stomach gained more heft, the great mound of blubber began to droop down and slap against the top of his thighs and filled a third of his lap when he sat down. It continued to creep outward and obscure more of the ground before him, but for the last few days, his new pounds settled above his hips. Flabby flanks filled out underneath his tunic and aided in the shirt’s demise, and fluffy rolls bunched up along his back. He was not spared below the belt either, as his legs had thickened to the size of juicy ham hocks over the last several days. His thighs brushed against each other more each day, and Wade noted with some embarrassment that his manhood was being encroached on by the rising tide of flab. While his hips had remained fairly narrow, his backside had expanded into full globes of bubbly pudge, so much so that even one of his cheeks would overfill both his hands. Any bigger, and Audra could have used it as a shelf for her potions. Not that the goblin mentioned any of this to her bulging bodyguard. She actually found the words catching in her throat as she drank in how perfectly plump and rolly-poly he had become. Wade shifted about under her gaze and told Audra, “Um…you’re drooling.” “Wh—oh! Sorry,” the alchemist apologized as she wiped the little dribble from her cheek. “Must be this stew! You want three bowls or four?” “Four—wait, three—no, I mean…guh,” Wade grunted in frustration. “I can’t keep eating like I have! I swear, it feels like I’m ten pounds bigger after every meal. If I keep this up, I’m going to get too fat to swing a sword, much less go questing!” Audra bit her lip to stifle the pleasurable hum bubbling up inside her. The thought of her wide, wobbly warrior waddling through the woods, fat legs rolling about in a vain attempt at anything faster than a slothful plod, tickled her fancy something fierce. Not that she would dare admit it, especially when he was so concerned about his weight at the moment. She would assuage his fears, downplay the gain, and get his mind off the topic, same as she had done for the last several days. After all, why stop when they had such a good thing going? “Oh, pish, you’re not getting fat,” Audra assured Wade as she sauntered over to her seated companion. “Haven’t you ever heard of bulking? Don’t they teach that at the academy?” A pink blush crept into Wade’s cheeks and he rubbed the back of his neck as he replied, “Not really, no. What’s ‘bulking’?” “It’s something gladiators and berserkers do to get as big as they are! You eat a lot, put on a couple pounds, and then work it all down to rock hard muscle,” Audra explained, leaving out more than a few key details in the plan. Despite the glaring holes in her description, it made some sense to Wade. After all, he had seen some pretty beefy gladiators in his time; in fact, he had heard tale of wrestlers from the Far East who were like walking boulders. He had also been getting impossibly strong over the last several days, growing far quicker than he had at the academy, so it stood to reason that he would bulk up a lot faster as well. More than anything, he trusted Audra—after all, she was the brains of their partnership. “Well, if you say so,” Wade finally conceded. A grin sprouted on his chubby face as he flexed his right arm and told Audra, “And you may be right—give that bicep a squeeze and tell me it’s not the biggest you’ve ever seen.” The goblin girl happily obliged and put both of her tiny hands around Wade’s beefy arm. Her first delight was in knowing that his arm was so big around that her fingers could not even hope to touch each other. The second and far greater was the realization that while there was certainly a powerful bicep in there, it was blanketed under a thick quilt of pillowy flab. “Boy, if I didn’t know you any better, I’d say you were an ogre,” Audra giggled as she let go of Wade’s soft arm. “And just imagine how much bigger it’s going to be when you burn off the few extra pounds you’ve gained!” “I know! I could carry a mountain on my back at that point,” the warrior boasted. A warm smile crossed his face as he added in a humbler tone, “Thanks, Audra. I feel a lot better.” The alchemist wiggled her ears and grinned from ear to ear at the gargantuan galoot. She chirped, “Hey, that’s what a party does, right? If you ever need to talk about anything, you just let me know, okay? It’s the least I can do for you.” They lingered on that for a moment, a smile shared between them while supper stewed behind Audra. The warm silence was broken when Wade’s belly gurgled like an angry beast, despite the fact that he had just eaten not long before Audra threw together the soup. The petite goblin blushed at the noise but tittered, “Will you be wanting that bread after all?” “You know what? I think so,” Wade chuckled before patting his globular gut. “And better make it four—no, five bowls tonight. After all, the more I bulk, the stronger I’ll get in the end!” After serving up dinner for her hefty companion, Audra sat back and watched as Wade voraciously gobbled up bowl after bowl of stew. It was a good thing that she did not need to eat much, because at the rate he was going, there was going to be nothing left for her by the end. To watch how Wade guzzled down his meal, one would never have guessed he had weight woes not a few minutes prior. And while there was some small part of Audra that felt guilty for lying to such a kind, naïve soul, there was a far greater part of her that relished in seeing a few new inches of flab on the warrior with each passing day. “I can always make a slimming potion if he really starts to worry,” the scheming alchemist assured herself as Wade’s stomach slowly rounded out with food. “After all, he’ll realize he’s getting too big eventually, right?” *** As the days went by and Wade continued quaffing Audra’s strength-enhancing potions, it became quite clear that he truly did not know how big he was getting. It was a good thing that she had stocked up on more food than usual back in Riverton, since each new elixir increased her companion’s appetite a little more. The extra rations also came in handy when it became clear that it would take a little longer than normal to reach Moonfall. Not because of weather or taking a detour, but rather, Wade’s ever-increasing girth proved to be the biggest roadblock. The warrior was strong enough that he could chew through metal—something he discovered when he ate a little too fast one evening and wolfed down his fork—but his stamina had fallen to record lows. He needed to take frequent stops during the day, fell asleep early and woke up late, and moved at such a glacial pace that even a turtle could make better time than him. Of course, Wade never chalked it up to the increasingly obvious reason and continued on as though he had only put on a few pounds and not several hundred. It was almost a month since the duo left Riverton before they finally neared Moonfall. Audra wagered they had another day of travel before they reached the city proper, and while she was normally excited to visit the bustling town, the alchemist found herself a little melancholic. She was liable to do great business, but it also meant that she was likely to part ways with Wade, which felt more painful than she had imagined. Had they really gotten so close in their time together that she would actually miss the big lummox when their little party of two broke up? It was certainly nice to have company on the road for a change and watching him expand like rising bread had been nothing short of scintillating, but those could not be the only reasons. No, what made this different was that Wade was not just anyone: he listened intently to her scientific babbling even though she knew he did not understand half of it, always offered a helping hand despite his diminishing flexibility, and always put a smile on her face with his stories about life in the academy. Wade Leguerrier might have been a lummox, but he was the sweetest lummox she had ever known. “Hey, Audra…could you slow down a bit?” that same lummox panted. The spritely alchemist turned back and realized that, distracted by her thoughts as she was, she had outpaced Wade by a good margin. That was another change that took some getting used to, for Audra had gotten so used to keeping in stride with the warrior back when he was a beanpole of a man. The fact that he was pulling her cart meant nothing; even before he started drinking her potions, the cart presented no challenge to him. While the cart was lighter than air now, thanks to his newfound strength, he was weighed down by the sheer bulk of his body. In the span of a month on the road, Wade had gone from having zero fat on his body to having nothing but fat on him. He was covered in blubber from head to toe; if there was a place where fat could accumulate, it made its way there. Were it not for his distinctive scars and sapphire hair, no one would have been able to recognize him. His cheeks were so round and soft that his eyes were forced into a squint, his nose seemed smaller and flatter for it, and even his lips were squished into a permanent pucker. The ring of fat around his neck had gained so much girth that it split into two thick collars that rippled like water whenever he ate. Firm, shapely shoulders were blanketed under a fine quilt of pudge that hid any trace of definition Wade once had. His arms had taken on the shape of flour sacks and the consistency of mashed potatoes, completely obscuring the muscles underneath. The flab overflowed his elbows and encroached on his forearms, which were now as big around as his thighs used to be. All that pudge trailed down to hands that were fast becoming useless, as his palms and fingers were too thick to grip anything tightly—just holding the handle of the cart was a challenge. His chest continued to expand out and downwards as it formed a ring around his body from front to back. The fat mounds flapped and wobbled beneath his tunic, rippling like water with every ponderous step he took. The cascade of flab continued down his body to what had once been abs that made the damsels swoon, now nothing more than a pile of pudge that hung almost to his knees and stuck out so far that Wade needed to keep an eye on the road ahead to make sure nothing would cross his path. Thick rolls had sprouted all along his middle, and they were so plentiful and deep that, when Audra gauged them while Wade slept, she could make an entire pen disappear inside them. All of this would have been bad enough, but Wade’s lower body had reached elephantine proportions to match his tremendous upper half. His thighs were even wider than his waist used to be—not just when he started his journey, but after his first few doses of Audra’s potion. The pillars of lard were thick as tree trunks, rubbed together clear past his overloaded knees, and forced him to waddle by rolling one leg around the other. They led into feet that were overgrowing his shoes, and not because they were getting longer; they were so packed full of fat that people might have thought he was wearing something even if he was barefoot. “Sorry about that, big guy,” Audra apologized as she trotted back to Wade’s side. “My head was just in the clouds.” “It’s all right,” the flabby fighter huffed in between gulps of air. “Like you said the other day, all this bulking is good for strength, not speed.” That was another little fib that the alchemist had fed her widening warrior friend—one of many she used whenever he seemed to catch onto his rotund reality. When he needed to stop for breathers and snacks, she reasoned that it was because he was built for quick bursts of energy, not marathons. When his clothes were reduced to tatters, it was simply because they were well-worn. And when he had to change out said tatters for a bed sheet fashioned into a toga? Well, that was all the rage in Acropo, so why not try something new? Audra watched his tomato-red cheeks puff and his blubbery body quiver with each plodding step he took, and a twinge of guilt shot through her tiny body. As much as her desire for Wade grew with each passing day, so too did her guilt for guiding him down this road to extravagant obesity. She had thought he would notice or say something right now and that would be enough to ease her mind, but the warrior carried on without a second thought. The repercussions, whatever they might be, would only get worse the longer she dragged it out, but the goblin girl could not bring herself to say a word. When the pair passed by a mile marker, Wade came to a halt and asked, “Audra, can we stop here for a break? I could use a little bite to keep my strength up.” “Of course,” the alchemist replied as she patted the bulbous boy’s belly. “Go take a seat on that rock, and I’ll make you a sandwich or two.” Wade licked his lips in anticipation and sat down on the boulder by the mile marker. Bulking up had plenty of drawbacks, like tearing his pants in front of Audra or spending extra time bathing to make sure he was completely clean, but it did have its perks. Case in point, he was always comfortable no matter where he sat now, though he reasoned it was because he was so tough now and not that his ass was wider than a loveseat. While Audra had her back to him, the blue-haired boy watched with delight as she bounced on her feet and hummed a melody. His feelings for the viridian girl had deepened over the course of the past month, growing from camaraderie to a blossoming fondness he had never experienced with other girls. Wade would never admit that he was smitten with her, but there was no denying the way his heart skipped when she gave him a toothy grin or playfully jostled him. When she laughed at his dumb jokes or put her chin in her hands to listen to his stories, he felt a swell of joy in his chest that he only got when he trained. With that fondness came lustful desires as well, such as the ones that filled Wade’s head as he studied Audra’s rump sway. Her diminutive stature gave him the perfect view down her top, though he tried not to look if he could, and her thick backside filled her pants just right. The warrior had yet to express these feelings to her, a rarity for one who had laid with so many at St. Duncan’s, and he had to find other ways to vent them. At first, this meant stroking his cock to fantasies before he bathed, but as it became harder for him to reach his manhood, he had taken to stifling his desires with even more food—two birds with one stone, as it were. As their destination drew closer by the day, Wade worried that Audra might decide to part ways with him and venture on by herself or with someone that could actually discuss alchemy with her. The thought of breaking up their party of two made his heart ache like nothing else before, and so he decided that today would be the day. No more beating around the bush—he would ask Audra to accompany him on his adventures! “Would you like extra mustard on your sandwiches, Wade?” asked the alchemist. “Yes, please!” the warrior replied, shaken from his thoughts. “And maybe a little fruit? Oh, and a biscuit or two might be nice…” His question could come later. It was rude to talk while he was eating, after all. *** After three sandwiches, five apples, four pears, and six biscuits, Wade lay back on the rock and patted his belly. It was nowhere near full but it would be enough to carry him for a while longer; at least another two hours or so, by his reckoning. Audra joined him and munched on a couple berries while he ate what used to be a large meal for the warrior. He was amazed that she could get by on so little food throughout the day, and that just a handful of berries could count as a lunch for her. When he tossed the remnants of his last pear away, the flabby fighter decided it was time to ask that question that had been plaguing him for the last few days. He cleared his throat and asked, “Say, Audra…can you believe we’re nearly at Moonfall?” The petite girl glanced down the road and answered, “Honestly, I can’t. It’s been so much fun, I can’t believe it’s been almost a month since we left Riverton.” “And when we get there, you’re going to the shopping district to sell your potions, right?” Wade asked, even though they had discussed their plans several times before. “Sure am,” Audra hummed. “And you’re going to suss out some quests.” “That’s right,” the blue-haired butterball chuckled as he rubbed the back of his next. Why was it so hard to say what he wanted? As if reading his thoughts, his companion glanced up at him with her hazel eyes and asked, “Are you going to travel solo once you find an adventure?” Those eyes made him melt, and Wade fumbled for the words. “Well, I…I’ve thought about it, but that’s not…I don’t know if it would be good to be alone out there.” Audra perked up and sidled closer to his rock as she replied, “Right? Far better to travel with someone than to go it by yourself, I think. You never know when you’ll need someone to have your back, tend to your wounds, or…or make potions.” That last part was nearly inaudible, but the warrior heard it clear as day. A deep blush crossed his chubby cheeks as he dared to imagine that Audra wanted to continue traveling with him. He felt like a novice all over again, giddy over the first pretty girl to smile at him. The thought gave fuel to his courage and strengthened his resolve to ask that one question. “Audra,” Wade began, his mouth suddenly feeling dry as a desert, “would you…would you like to stay in my party?” The alchemist’s eyes sparkled like a fine gem and she let out a gasp that was no louder than a kitten’s yawn, but her response was cut off by a booming laugh from the woods across from them. A band of brigands emerged from the trees with blades in hand and menace in their eyes. Audra ducked behind the boulder and Wade rose to meet them, though it took him a moment to stand up. “Well, ain’t that just cute?” asked a weedy man with hair down to his ribs. “A potbellied orc and a goblin setting off on an adventure!” A ripple ran through Wade’s body when he landed on his feet, but he paid it no mind. He clenched his fat hands into fists as best he could and glared at the approaching bandits, though the effect was dampened by how beady his eyes had become. If the warrior was trying to be threatening, it was undercut by how plush and blubbery he had grown in the preceding weeks. “Don’t know who you’re calling an orc, but you’d better keep walking if you know what’s good for you,” Wade warned the brigands. The plunderers laughed among themselves at the threat, and the long-haired leader waggled his dagger at Wade and Audra. “I’m not too concerned, butterball. There’s six of us and two of you, and neither of you look like much of a threat.” “We’ll see about that,” the wobbly warrior growled. He glanced over his shoulder at his alchemist companion and whispered, “Stay behind me, Audra.” Audra nodded and slid from behind the rock to Wade, whose vast body gave her ample cover, considering that one of his legs was wider around than she was. The pair moved slowly to the cart, where Wade’s massive sword lay waiting, and their eyes never left the brigands. The bandits leered at them like lions watching juicy antelopes and twirled their weapons in their hands in anticipation of what seemed to be an easy kill. For the last few days, Wade had been keeping his sword atop Audra’s cart, as the strap that he used to hold it could no longer fit around his body. Not that it mattered much, since he was now so strong that the sword was almost superfluous; another few days of strength potions and he could probably chop down a tree with a thought. He thought back to a month prior, when he was in the same position of defending Audra from brigands and how easily he had dispatched those louts. Now that he was a thousand times stronger than he had been, this bunch would be like a slight breeze. Once he reached the sword, Wade taunted the thieves, “I might have put on a few pounds recently, but don’t let my looks deceive you—I’m a force to be reckoned with.” “Oh? You gonna kill us with that prop sword of yours, lardon?” the bandit leader jeered. “When will you people ever learn?” Audra chuckled from her hiding spot. Wade gripped the hilt of his sword as best he could and yanked it free from its restraints, only for two very unfortunate events to occur. First, because his bloated hands could not close around the hilt all the way, the blade slipped away from him as soon as it left the cart. Second, because of his ludicrous strength, the sword went flying from his hands and landed clear on the other side of the road. Third and most unfortunate of all, the weapon cleaved through one of the bandits like butter, and his compatriots only noticed when his upper body slid off at the waist and fell to the ground. “Well…that’s unfortunate,” Wade mumbled as the color drained from his cheeks. “He killed Stampcrab! Get the tallowcatch!” the leader barked at his remaining troops. With bellies full of rage and vengeance, the brigands descended on Wade, who pushed Audra behind the cart to keep her safe. The thieves surrounded him on all sides and hacked at him with their jagged blades, but the warrior was so insulated with blubber that he felt little more than a sting with each attack. He tried to wade through the ring of bandits and get his sword, but between their numbers and his ponderous physique, he could not take so much as a single step out of line. “Out of my way!” Wade grunted in his frustration. He swatted at one of the bandits with a meaty hand, and his target’s head was vaporized by the blow. The loss of another assailant would have made it easier to get free, but it also incensed the survivors into striking even harder. Wade waddled forward as best he could, his wine barrel legs forcing themselves onward with all the strength they could muster, but it was not enough. Within a few paces, the brigands had him surrounded again and peppered him with sharp blows all over his flabby frame. Strong and durable though Wade might have been, Audra knew that even he had his limits and would need help soon. She feverishly mixed together a lethal mix of chemicals to keep her warrior friend safe, only to pause when a thought came to her. With how close the bandits were, she could not risk throwing an explosive potion, lest Wade be caught in the blast. What he needed was something to boost his abilities even further—go beyond the limits presented by his lardy physique. All she needed was a little more time for both her and Wade, and her concoctions would be ready. The wobbly warrior had only managed a few paces across the road, still hopelessly far from his sword, when he heard the bandit leader shout, “Tip him like the cow he is!” “Wha?” huffed a perplexed Wade, only to figure out what the thief meant when two others kicked him in the legs and sent him plummeting to the ground. He hit the dirt road with a booming clap, the impact sending ripples coursing through every inch of his body. Wade wriggled about like a slug in an effort to find purchase and get back to his feet, but his body was too ungainly and kept him pinned on his belly. Soon, his efforts were thwarted by the thieves, two of whom held his arms while the leader straddled his back and put a knife to his throat. “You sure gave us a scare there, butterball, but this is the end for you,” the scraggly man sneered as he yanked back on Wade’s hair. “You cost me two mates, so I’m going to try and savor this.” “Wade, close your eyes and take a deep breath!” Audra called out. The warrior had no idea what his companion had in mind, but he was not about to question her. He did as he was told and took a deep gulp of air while squeezing his eyes shut tight, all before he heard the sound of glass shattering beside him. An acrid smell filled the air and he could hear the bandits gagging around him, though the gagging soon turned to screeches of pain. The knife at his throat fell away and he felt his assailants loosen their grip on him as they fell about in pain, but he still kept his eyes closed under Audra’s instructions. In all the confusion, he heard his alchemist friend run up to him and put a beaker to his lips as she whispered, “Hurry and drink this as quick as you can!” Wade did not need to be told twice, especially since the elixir smelled like peaches and cream. He obliged and opened his mouth to swallow the concoction down in a single gulp, and not an instant later, he felt a burning sensation build in his chest. Grunting in confusion, he asked “Wh…what’s this?” “A little energy booster to get you through this,” Audra explained. “Now, open your eyes and get your sword, Wade—you’ve still got a fight to win!” “Yes, ma’am!” Wade growled through gritted teeth. The burning sensation spread throughout his entire body, touching each and every muscle and filling them with a vitality he had not felt in weeks. Wade’s eyes snapped open as he put his hands on the ground and pushed himself to his feet with all the ease of someone three times smaller than him. He spied the bandits lying around, clutching at knife wounds in their legs and sides, and Audra standing off to the side, holding a stiletto out in case any of them should attack. An inky smoke was dissipating about them, but Wade wasted no time in putting two and two together. Though Wade was still burdened with hundreds of pounds of blubber, he raced to his sword like a charging hippo. Neither the burn between his lard-riddled legs nor the constant flopping of his flabby middle could stop the emboldened warrior from reaching his blade. When he finally reached the massive sword, his bulbous belly ballooned in and out like a bullfrog’s throat, but he wasted no time in reaching out for the hilt. A boost in energy could only get him so far though, as there was too much mass to keep this a simple task—no amount of bending could get around his pillowy pudge. “Come on, come on,” Wade grunted as he turned this way and that in an effort to gain purchase on his sword. No matter how he positioned himself, his body refused to cooperate and bunched up with even the slightest bend. Finally, he settled on crouching down to pick up the blade, and it was a good thing that he had ingested the elixir when he did—he might have collapsed out of sheer exhaustion otherwise. The warrior discovered once again that his fat fingers and hands kept him from gripping the hilt properly, but he made do by squeezing it so tight that his fingers embedded themselves into the grip. Once he was armed again, the fattened fighter grinned triumphantly, though his grin turned to a ferocious glower when he saw the bandits going after Audra. “Get away from her!” Wade howled like a mad wolf. Two of the bandits turned towards the charging butterball, only to be cut down like wheat under his sword. Wade would have continued his mad dash, but he came to a screeching halt when the bandit chief snatched Audra up and held a knife to her throat. Though his vision filled with red, he was not prepared to risk Audra’s life by taking another step. “Don’t you come any closer, lardo, or I’ll slice her throat from ear to ear” the wiry man jeered at Wade. “You just toss that sword away, give me whatever loot you’ve got in that cart, and I’ll be on my merry way. Any funny moves and I’ll carve the both of you like a turkey.” Wade let out a snort of anger like a bull, but he could not afford to act recklessly when Audra had a knife to her throat. Despite his immense strength, his sword felt incredibly heavy in that moment, weighed down as it was by the decision he had to make. If he tossed his sword aside again, there was no guaranteeing he could get it back before Audra’s energy booster wore off, much less that the bandit would actually stay true to his word. There was no way he could reach the bandit before he slit her throat though, even if he threw his sword with all his might. He wracked his brain for a strategy but none presented itself, and he cursed himself for sleeping through those courses. Thankfully, he did not have to make the decision. Audra wriggled about in the bandit’s grasp and growled, “Enough with all the bandits!” With that, the alchemist wrenched the brigand’s knife hand away from her neck with all her might and bit into his wrist. He howled in pain and loosened his grip enough for Audra to slip away, which gave Wade the opening he needed. The warrior’s massive sword went careening through the air, went clean through the bandit’s chest, and imbedded itself in a tree behind him. The last thing the bandit saw before death overtook him was Audra’s foot stamping down on his face. “That’ll teach you to bother travelers!” the petite goblin snarled as she stomped again and again, long after the bandit had passed. “You dastard! Cad! Mangy mongrel! I’ve half a mind to revive you, just so I can kill you again!” “Audra, leave him be,” Wade huffed. “He can’t hurt no one anymore—least of all you.” Audra spun around with tears in her eyes before running over to Wade and latching onto his lardy thigh. She blubbered, “I don’t care if he hurt me—he could have killed you, you big galoot, and it would have been my fault!” The butterball bruiser reached down and patted the tiny girl on the head, holding her close as she buried her face in his makeshift toga. Eventually, he scooped her up in his arms, where she nuzzled into his padded bicep like a pillow as he waddled over to the rock by the cart once more. He plopped down on the rock with a grunt, ignoring how it shifted under his bulk, and set Audra down on what was left of his lap. “Hey, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to get back into the fight,” Wade assured the little alchemist as her sobbing diminished to sniffling and hiccups. “That energy potion was just what I needed, and did you see the way I moved? I could pass for a rogue with that kind of speed!” Audra took a deep gulp of air to steady herself before whimpering, “But I wouldn’t have needed to give you that energy potion if my other potions hadn’t made you so…so…” “Bulky?” suggested Wade. When his companion nodded, the warrior replied, “I was thinking about that, actually. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me with those elixirs, Audra, but it might be time for me to cut back. Don’t get me wrong: I love the fact that I could lift the moon, but I’m pretty sure a turtle could beat me in a race now; it wouldn’t even need to be a monster turtle. If I’m going to get strong, it should be the old fashioned way—no shortcuts.” A blush crept into Wade’s cheeks as he added softly, “Plus, I didn’t want to say it, but I think I’ve put on a little too much weight from all this dirty bulking.” Audra was at a loss for words. Just when she was about to come clean to all her little white lies, Wade found his own way to the truth—mostly. She bit her lip as she considered whether she should tell him everything, but she just could not bring herself to it; better to let him think what he wanted to think than to ruin what they had. That, and it was hard to feel guilty when she was seated on legs softer than any cushion and resting her head against Wade’s flabby chest. “Well, maybe things did go a little too far,” the alchemist hummed, the closest she would get to admitting her guilt, “but if you want to slim back down, I can help with that. I know a couple recipes for potions that’ll help shed the pounds, but it’ll also mean cutting your strength back to what it was.” “That won’t be a problem. Don’t forget—I was still plenty strong when we met,” Wade boasted as a grin spread across his chubby cheeks. The two shared a laugh for a moment, with Audra particularly enjoying the feel of Wade jiggling against her. As the laughter died down, the petite alchemist looked into her companion’s eyes and told him, “By the way…my answer is ‘yes’.” “Hm?” Wade hummed in puzzlement. “Yes, I want to be in your party,” Audra explained. “Traveling with you has been the most fun I’ve ever had since I first hit the road, and I don’t want it to end.” She then reached up and tapped his chin, or a roll that could have been his chin, while tittering, “Besides, someone has to make sure that you stick to your diet.” Wade’s blush returned in earnest as he rubbed the back of his neck and replied, “Well, if there’s anyone that can do it, it’ll be you.” He took one of Audra’s tiny hands in his meaty mitt and gave it a gentle squeeze as he told her, “Audra Dranghy, welcome to my party.” “Wade Leguerrier, it’s my pleasure,” the goblin replied with a warm grin and gray cheeks. After they rested up from their fight and Wade collected his sword, they packed up the cart and prepared to ship off. The warrior lifted the handle for the cart and asked, “I reckon we might be able to make it to just outside Moonfall by nightfall, don’t you?” “I think so, just so long as we don’t take any more breaks,” Audra teased. Wade scoffed in reply, but his belly let out a rumbling growl before he could get a word in. He pressed in on the blubbery mass while his companion giggled, “Well, maybe another snack break, but only after another mile or three, okay?” “Deal,” Wade replied, hoping it was the former instead of the latter. THE END
  3. My weight has been up and down for years. I'm currently 6'2", 285lbs (my largest weight ever) and I've finally realized that I was only trying to lose weight because of what others thought. I love everything about my big, round stomach. Now that I'm living on my own terms, I've decided to dip my toes in the proverbial water and see how life feels once I hit the big Three-Zero-Zero.
  4. Hello there, I’m just a bhm looking a bbw/ssbbw who might consider mutually gaining. Located in the WA PNW
  5. Hello feeders, feedees, fat admirers, and everyone in between!! Welcome to Mutual Massive May!! For the entire month of May, my husband and mutual gainer Ben and I will be stuffing ourselves to gain (hopefully) a combined 50lbs in 31 days!! This is where you’ll find news and updates about our gain and where you can ask questions of both of us. Let the gaining begin!!
  6. ((Season's greetings, ho-ho-ho, and deck them halls! It's the most wonderful time of the year, and what better way to celebrate than with an advent calendar? There's nothing quite like waking up and opening your advent calendar to find a little treat inside, but Yours Truly can do better than a piece of chocolate or a Lego figure. In taking a page from our Nordic friends, I'm starting a julkalender--a series to run through from today to December 25th. Now, this won't be a traditional series like Five Little Piggies or The Roundest Rugby Player. This will be more of an anthology series, with each installment standing alone and being unrelated to each other. Some may be one-offs, some may be the start of future projects, but all will be entertaining and delightful--at least I hope. Let me know what you think of each installment and if you'd like to see more--I've got a lot of ideas that I'm dying to share with you all. Have a lovely day and may all your dreams come true.)) DAY 1: GOING OFF TRACK For the first time in his life, Marcello Bianchi felt like everything was going his way. He had gotten a full ride to Cape Fear University as part of their track team, a swanky on-campus apartment with his own bedroom, and a new pair of sneakers as a graduation gift. When he took his first steps onto the campus on Move-In Day, he felt like he should pinch himself to check if this was a dream. After all the trouble he had made growing up, no one, least of all he himself, could believe his fortune. “Hey bro, you gonna stand around all day or are you going to give us a hand?” Marcello tore his gaze from his apartment building—his new home away from home—and glanced back at his sister and mother, who worked to unload the car along with some volunteer seniors. A light pink crossed his cheeks at his sister’s chiding and he jogged over to help get his boxes and bags from the family van. The last thing he needed was a twelve year old berating him in front of his new peers; it was not the most embarrassing first impression, but it was up there. “Come on, Lucia, cut me some slack,” Marcello told the younger girl as he hoisted up the box containing a wire rack shelf. “I’m going to be living here for the next four years; I ought to be able to take it in, right?” Lucia rolled her eyes and tossed a pillow at him. “It’s because you’ll be living there for four years that you can afford to help right now.” “Knock it off, you two,” their mother, Nora, snipped, not wanting to attract as much attention as her daughter. “This is the last time you’ll see each other until Thanksgiving, and you’re going to be bickering? When I saw your Aunt Ramona off to college, I cried my eyes out.” “I’m sure Lucia’s just saving the waterworks as soon as you pull off campus,” Marcello teased as he ruffled his sister’s curly hair. “As if,” the pre-teen retorted as she swatted his hand away. Marcello unloaded the shelf into a rolling bin and took a moment to run his hands through his perfectly coifed hair. It was still early in the morning, but sweat was already beading on his brow and staining his shirt—one of the drawbacks of going to school at the beach. Without a second thought, he whipped off his shirt, leaving him in a tank top that was tight enough to cling to his toned abs and left his ropy arms on display. The swarthy young man looked like he stepped out of a cologne ad, and he attracted more than his fair share of favorable looks while he worked. After filling the bin, Marcello pushed it into the apartment building and onto the elevator. The doors were just about to close when he heard a lilting voice call out, “Hold the door!” He quickly hit the open button just as two girls ran in, each with their arms full of bags and boxes. One was a petite brunette that barely came up to Marcello’s shoulders and looked like she was made out of toothpicks, while the other was a voluptuous redhead that was a hair taller than him and was built like a brick house, especially in comparison to her friend. They were dressed for the weather, but just like Marcello, they were sweating bullets; whether that was the humidity or them struggling with their luggage was anyone’s guess. “Thanks a million,” the redhead said to Marcello. “Second floor?” “No problem,” he replied as he hit the call button for the second and third floors. As the elevator doors slowly closed, the brunette nodded to Marcello and asked, “Are you with the track team?” “Yep,” the young man answered. He put a thumb to his chest and introduced himself, “Marcello Bianchi—sprinter. How about you?” “Tori Munyer—distance,” said the brunette, tilting her chin up since her hands were full. “Chita Collins—hurdles,” the redhead added. She glanced over Marcello with an approving look in her eye, or perhaps that was his ego playing tricks on him. “Bianchi…that’s a nice name. Italian?” “As Italian as a cannoli,” joked the sprinter. The elevator came to a stop at the second floor, and the girls slid on out. Marcello gave the two a slight wave and said, “Guess I’ll see you at the orientation tomorrow?” “Oh! You didn’t hear?” asked Chita. “Some of the other people on the team were talking about a welcome party later tonight. It’s going down at the beach around 10—you should come!” Never one to pass up a good party, Marcello replied, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world; just what I need to unwind after moving in. Catch you two later!” “Later, dude,” Tori hummed as she wandered down the hall. Chita lingered for a second longer before winking at Marcello and telling him, “See you around, Marcello. Nice meeting you!” That time, he was sure he had not imagined it—Chita definitely liked what she saw. Marcello could not blame her for window shopping; he knew exactly what he looked like, practicing Patrick Bateman levels of self-care. His skin was free of blemishes save for a faint scar on his upper lip, his hair was smoother than silk, and he had a deep, bronze tan from head to toe. He looked less like a college freshman and more like an actor ten years his senior pretending to be a freshman, which earned him the attention of many a wandering eye. Marcello decided that what was good for the goose was good for the gander, and he watched Chita’s backside rock from side to side in her short shorts before the door closed. His mother had warned him not to chase girls and focus on his studies, but how could anyone study when a perfect 36-24-36 lived just one floor below? If he played his cards right at the party, he might get to kick off his college life with a bang—literally and figuratively. When the elevator arrived on the third floor, Marcello rolled his bin out into the hall and counted down the room numbers until he reached 312—last one on the right. The door was already open, and when he poked his head in to see who might have been inside, his curiosity was rewarded with a foam dart to the head. “Boom! Headshot,” the assailant cheered. Marcello flicked the dart off his forehead and spotted a guy lying in the bedroom directly across from the door. He was the very model of a surf bum: shaggy blonde hair that hung into his eyes, peachy skin that had freckled in the sun, and an open Hawaiian print shirt that revealed a trim stomach. A pair of silver aviators perched atop his nose, and the hazel eyes behind them were half-lidded. His weapon of choice, a dart machine gun, rested on his stomach while he offered a lackadaisical wave to Marcello before picking up a slice of pizza from a box on his nightstand. “Whaddup, roomie?” the slothful boy asked around a mouthful of pepperoni. “Nice shooting,” Marcello remarked as he rolled his bin inside. “Are you Pete or Carson?” “Pete Langley,” was his roommate’s answer. Pete made no effort to get up, content with munching through his pizza while reloading his dart gun. He slid his aviators back up and told Marcello, “My sister works for campus maintenance, so she was able to get me the room last week.” The swarthy sprinter nodded along, focused more on unloading his bin than anything else. He took note of the layout for the apartment: kitchen with bar counter; common room with a sofa and two armchairs; two bathrooms; three bedrooms. A good setup, even if Pete’s early arrival meant his clutter was taking up a good portion of the space. Thankfully, his personal room was spared, with not an empty pizza box or a stack of soda cans in sight. His bedroom was threadbare in terms of décor, but between the desk, dresser, and bed, it had everything Marcello needed. Soon as he put some posters up and threw some knick-knacks around, it would feel right at home. Well, not entirely like home—the small rowhome he had grown up in only had two bedrooms, which meant that he had to share his space for the last twelve years with his sister. Finally, he could spread out whenever he came home from classes and not have to deal with Lucia screaming at him to pick up his stuff from her side of the room. As Marcello unloaded the bin, he heard Pete fire off another dart, which was met with a loud, “The fuck, bro? I’ve got a TV here!” “Gotta think fast around here, dude,” Pete replied with a chuckle. Marcello poked his head out the bedroom door and spotted a brawny guy doing his best to avoid a barrage of foam darts while holding onto a large TV set. His hair was buzzed down to peach fuzz, and he wore a basketball jersey that left his powerful arms bare. He had the appearance of an old school bully from a bad teen movie—bulky all around, imposing chin, and the broad shoulders of someone who spent more time in the gym than at a desk. Put simply, a galoot. The big guy grunted, “We’ll see how fast you think when I shove those sunglasses up your—” “Let me give you a hand with that,” Marcello offered in an effort to keep the peace. No sense in fighting on the first day—they had a whole year to tear each other’s heads off. The sprinter quickly grabbed one end of the widescreen, and the two boys lugged the TV over to the coffee table. Marcello quickly kicked off the accumulated trash on top so they could place the set down, and he wiped a hand across his brow when they were finished. Once this moving was done, he would park his butt in a chair for the rest of the day, easily. “Thanks, man,” the brawny boy said to Marcello after cracking the joints in his back. “You wouldn’t think something that flat would weigh so much, right?” “Tell me about it,” the sprinter chuckled as he mimicked the gesture and stretched his arms behind him. “I’m guessing you’re Carson?” “Yep,” his new roommate replied while reaching out to shake Marcello’s hand. “Carson Trang.” Marcello glanced down at Carson’s arms and remarked, “Damn, dude—you are jacked. You gonna be a thrower for the team?” Carson shook his head and flexed one of his arms, his bicep firming up and his veins popping. “Nah, son—multis. I’ll be taking home the gold when we’ve got decathlons.” “Nice,” Marcello chuckled as he clapped Carson’s bicep. “We’ll do the whole meet and greet later; if I don’t get back downstairs, I’m pretty sure my mom and sister will come hunting for me.” “Same for my folks,” the bigger roommate smirked. Carson glanced back into Pete’s room and asked, “Yo, Deadshot—mind giving us a hand?” As the lazy boy rolled a slice of pizza into a tube, he replied, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” Both his roommates glowered at each other before Carson told Marcello, “Why don’t you head back down? I need to have a little chat with John Wayne here about how there’s no ‘lazy jackass’ in ‘team’ before I meet you down there.” “All right, but make sure he stays in one piece,” the sprinter told his teammate. “We’ll need him for meets, maybe.” *** The rest of the move went smoothly, especially after Carson returned with Pete slung over his shoulders and all but forced him at gunpoint to help out. Marcello rubbed shoulders with a few other residents in his building—all student athletes, albeit from different sports—but he kept close to his future roommates. Pete took his sweet time moving along, carrying just enough to not have Carson breathe down his neck, and Marcello wondered how anyone as sluggish as him could be on a track team. Carson, on the other hand, stayed focused on his task up until a pretty girl caught his eye, which, unfortunately, happened to be every few minutes. If nothing else, the next year would certainly be interesting with a couple jokers like them around. He also happened to see Chita and Tori a couple times more, and each time Chita passed by him, he felt more certain that their attraction was mutual. Tori, on the other hand, did not seem interested like her roommate, but Marcello was not about to judge; he was not so full of himself to think that all women should be into him. They made for good company though, and so long as everyone played nice, they would be good neighbors for the year ahead. When he said his goodbyes to family, even getting a hint of tears from Lucia, Marcello sprawled out on his newly made bed and let it finally soak in. It was not so long ago that college would have been a pipe dream for him: between the exorbitant prices and his constant brushes with the law, it seemed like he would never make it; he would be the example parents pointed to when telling their kids why they needed to stay on the straight and narrow. Only when his mother told him how he was turning out just like his deadbeat of a father did Marcello start taking life more seriously and applied himself. And apply himself he did, as the former delinquent pushed himself to perform better and better over his high school career. His grades were never anything to write home about, placed squarely in the middle of his class, but where his academics faltered, he excelled on the track. All the time running around causing trouble had been good for something after all, as few could catch him when he got moving. Marcello rocketed through the ranks, becoming not only one of the fastest in his school’s history, but even setting state records that would stand for years. It was that speed that earned him a scholarship to CFU, which took the burden of paying for school off his mother and ensured him a place at one of the most desirable schools in the state. A knock on the door broke his rumination, and Carter popped his head in to ask, “Hey Marcello, we’re going to check out the dining hall and get something to eat. You want to come with?” “Yeah,” the lanky boy replied as he rolled himself off the bed. “Let me just get a quick shower in and I’ll meet you guys down there.” After bidding goodbye to his new roommates, Marcello sauntered over to the bathroom and peeled his sweaty clothes from his body before taking a look in the mirror. He looked like a god, something that was said not out of bragging, but simply as fact; women wanted him and men wanted to be him, as the old saying goes. His fingers traced along the contours of his muscles, running a circuit along his abdomen before curving around his pecs, circling around his biceps, and then running down to his pert backside. Everywhere he went, he found lean and imposing muscle, all cultivated from years of sticking to hard exercise and a firm diet. And yet, something did not feel right. It was a feeling that had been growing for the last couple years, but whenever Marcello looked at himself in the mirror, he always felt like there was something off about his appearance. If he could put it into words, it was like if he dressed in pastels, golf shirts, and sweater vests—they might have been nice clothes, but they did not look right on him. In that same way, he felt the same way about the hardened body that he had built for himself, wishing that it was on someone else. Of course, such a change was not so simple as throwing on another pair of clothes, nor was he even sure of what it was that he even wanted. “Whatever,” Marcello muttered to himself. “Just getting into my own head.” He shoved those thoughts back down as he had so many times before, but it would not be long before they were dredged up again. The only question was what sort of body he truly desired, which was something he would explore over the next four years… *** As all the student athletes were moving in, there was a meeting among the heads of the athletic program—the last one before the start of the new year. They had been sure that everything was lined up for the school year, but if there was one thing any of them should have known, it was that nothing was truly set in stone. Anything could go wrong, from a top pick getting injured or arrested, but this was something much more brutal than just one or two athletes being dropped. “I thought we had the budget straight. What happened?” the head of communications asked. “We had to move some numbers in order to secure a last-minute pick for the baseball team,” explained the internal operations director. “Besides, the men’s track team hasn’t performed well in years; they’ve been on the chopping block as long as I’ve been here.” “We’ve no choice,” said the Director of Athletics. “Men’s Track and Field is officially cancelled.”
  7. Hello! I've been gaining for a bit now, but i still don't think im fat enough.... so if anyone would be interested, id love to see how id look if i was fatter! 🤤 Thank you! (I also have more pictures in my album on my account!)
  8. Vallery is so excited to finally get to web cam with you! Her husband has just left for the gym, like always, and she can't wait to get time with her secret feedee. She's so tired of being a gym widow! Her husband is always gone at the gym, and she is so turned off my his big muscles and lean body. Vallery loves fat guy flab and she's chosen YOU to be her feedee. She has to go, but says that you can see each other on cam again in a few weeks once you put some weight on for her. On your next call, she encourages you to eat for her because it turns her on so much. Even if you are full, she pushes you to keep going. Don't you want to make her happy? Don't you want to turn on Vallery? She allows you to jerk and release. Vallery encourages you to keep getting fat for her, and if you gain enough, she might just play on cam for you the next time you have a session.
    $6.99
  9. I bet it never even crossed your mind, that one day you'd be so big and fat that you wouldn't be able to reach around your belly and jerk off, did it? You never fathomed the thought that you'd be so plump that sexual pleasure is now out of the question. But who needs sex and orgasms when you have food? Delicious piles of food to shove down your throat and make you even bigger. The feeling of being full of food is so much better than any orgasm ever could be, right?
    $6.99
  10. Anyone here know the approximate difference? Like is there a line? I’m handsome as shit and fat as hell, but am I a BHM or a SSBHM? Is it based on size? Like height considered? Like BMI? Had a mental debate within my own head and only got more confused lol. Like if I was 5’2 and my current weight of xxx vs my actual height of 5’10, does that change anything? And sexist though this question may be, is it different for different genders? Should it be? If I include a picture to illustrate my size, will that help?
  11. From the album: My belly pics <3

    © Pudgyzeke

  12. From the album: My belly pics <3

    © Pudgyzeke

  13. From the album: My belly pics <3

    © Pudgyzeke

  14. From the album: My belly pics <3

    © Pudgyzeke

  15. From the album: My belly pics <3

    © Pudgyzeke

  16. From the album: My belly pics <3

    © Pudgyzeke

  17. 55SM I'm from Rhode Island and travel to Central Maine often. I enjoy the outdoors, beach,cars,toys and travel. Looking to meet new women for friends, fun ,dating. Who knows what you will find. 420 friendly. You must be sane and drama free.
  18. I sit on the couch my huge gut stretched not only from just having a baby but from all the consuming I am doing. I made myself a stack of pancakes, slabbed butter on both sides of each one, and then added tonnns of delicious syrup. The short, sweet, gooey, stickiness keeps me starving and wanting more as I take bite by bite. Mouthful after mouthful I manage to continue to find room for each pancake inside my ever expanding tummy. Giant Belly, Stretch Marks and Rolls also included
    $12.99
  19. You wanna be a fat piggy huh? Lucky for you I love fat boys! Don't let this muscle fool you, all that jiggly lard turns me on so much. I need more of it, and you are going to gain for me. I've got my secret weapon, mass gainer shake, and I'm going to make you chug down every last drop of this high calorie slop. I tell you what I love about a fat mans body, how big I want to get you and what types of food you are going to eat for me in between your long gulps of my special sauce.
    $7.99
  20. ou are just getting home from work. I really know that this isn't the type of news you want to get when you first get home, but I just can't keep it in any longer. You haven't been taken the subtle hints. SO, I just have to say it. You are fat! You're are Disgusting!! I have to run a few errands and I don't want to fight but I couldnt just sit by and let you get grosser and grosser. As I am reaming you about all the pounds you have put on. I notice for some reason I am having a difficult time getting my shoes on. As I look down I realize, maybe my tummy has started to plump up. Just a tiny bit...as I touch and feel my stomach. It feels like I am getting hit by a ton of bricks, but it's just me...I weigh almost as much. I begin to sob, I can't believe this happened. How did this happen? I obviously didn't do this on my own. You must have done this. It's ALL YOUR FAULT. You let me eat soo much we got kicked out of All you Can Eat Wings. You never stopped me from all the gluttonous eating I have been doing. You wanted me to become a fat pig just like you...I can't believe you did this to me. Since its all because of you, you're going to have to make sure I stay happy and plump and fed from now on!!! Full Preview with Sound: Preview GIF:
    $13.99
  21. Vallery just loves the progress you've made for her since you discovered how turned on she is by your recent weight gain. She's invited you over to share some of her weight gain secrets and you've excitedly agreed. She shows you the keys to gaining are lots of heavy whipping cream, and heaps of calorie packed gainer powder. You get down on your knees and she fills up her funnel, instructing you to swallow down all of the calories she's mixed for you! Vallery is so impressed and proud of how well you did with your first funnel feeding that she's going to take you out to a big buffet lunch, followed by another funneling and lots of belly rubs to work in all of those calories!
    $5.99
  22. It's been 3 months since you and your feeder girlfriend have been able to Skype. Before she left on her trip, she set a goal of 30lbs of weight gain for you in the first 3 months. You get on cam to show her, a little shy about your growth but you know that you can't tell her no. You stand up to reveal your growth with clothes on and she's impressed! It looks like you've gained at least 50lbs, great job! But then she realizes something strange....are you wearing a wrap? She demands you take it off and really show her your gain without clothes on. Once you really reveal yourself she is shocked! You have gained at least 100lbs! It's all gone to your belly and you look so massively pregnant! And your moobs! They have to be bigger than her DDs! Your nipples are huge too! She asks the secret to your weight gain success and then encourage you to keep going! She'll have you riding around in a scooter in no time!
    $6.99
  23. Watch Vallery's secret video diary where she documents her time being a female feeder to a growing BHM. Each diary entry is several months apart and she talks about what a fat ass he is behind his back. Highlighting all of the embarrassing changes he is going through and laughing at his very pregnant looking body! If he only knew what she had to say, he would be so humiliated!
    $5.99
  24. Your mom as something very important she wants to talk to you about. You have been eating healthy and exercising, and it isn't making her very happy. She wants you to be the good little eater like you used to be. Mommy wants you to get fat for her. Don't you want to make her happy? Then eat up all those snack cakes she brought home for you, and while you do, she will encourage you by rubbing her big fat belly. If you are a good boy and eat the whole box, she is going to treat you to a trip to the buffet followed by a nice long belly rub to soothe that bloated tummy and work in all those calories.
    $7.99
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