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I had a substitute teacher in 4th grade who was a nice, busty, fat apple shape, and very strict. I found out she had a boyfriend, and imagined no woman that confident would date anyone who didn’t like her fat. Then I thought, if he likes her fat, maybe he wants her fatter. At this point, I had already thought many times when being denied treats or seconds “Or I’d get fat” that I couldn’t wait to be a grown up, so I could get as fat as I wanted. I thought maybe she wanted it too and had found someone who liked it, and helped. I started drawing cartoons of her and him together, her eating on the couch with a massive gut hanging between her legs, him coming in with more pizza and chips and milkshakes for her. No joke, I drew a feeding machine. This was in the mid nineties and we didn’t have internet or a computer, so there was no way I could know I wasn’t completely alone. I came up with most of the components to common f.e.e.d.i.s.t fantasies in a complete vacuum, which I can’t explain except to say I am born wired this way. These fantasies about my teacher and her partner sparked my sexual awakening. I started padding my clothes to get excited and get off. I fantasized about famous beautiful women I admired getting fat at the hands of partners. I made a promise to myself that I would never, ever tell anyone what I had to think of to push myself over the edge, because I thought I must be broken somehow, but maybe I could just keep it a secret forever and attribute the closed eyes to being lost in the moment. I grew curvier and curvier, and got exposed to more and more messaging about how I was too fat and the wrong shape. I worked out and dieted to get family off my back for being, in retrospect, a perfectly healthy weight. I did this partially to try to balance out my stuffings. I always loved to eat, but living at home, I rarely had the chance to really go crazy without someone at least noticing food missing, so aside from a few times when I snuck some groceries home, I didn’t get to ever experience the fullness I craved. When I moved out on my own, and had access to late night city food, I had my first real stuffing. I ordered 2 double cheeseburgers, double fries, and a large soda on my way home from a pub, and devoured it like it was nothing. I then went out to the corner market open late and bought a loaf of bread and herbed cream cheese, and finished the whole thing in my dorm room. I felt shame, I was already gaining the freshman 15, but I felt compelled to eat all of it, and afterwords I felt so, so good physically. Heavy. Stuffed. Glutted. I got off and passed out. I started boxing training 4 or 5 days a week, 2 hours a day, to offset the food when I changed schools, which was lots of fun, actually, I enjoy physical activity and being strong. It also allowed me to have massive ice cream binges at least once a week without gaining too much weight. At this point I had discovered online f.e.e.d.i.s.t communities and knew I wasn’t alone, but I was reticent to try gaining, due to social pressure mostly, and also because I didn’t have a partner to play with. I still filmed myself before and after stuffings though. I loved the contrast. I loved the overwhelmed bloating and belching. I deleted all the videos as soon as I was “done” with them, because I didn’t want anyone to find them ever ever. In retrospect I was creating amazing content that I should have been proud of, but these things take time. I made a couple friends in the community, one of whom I am still very close with. I met a friend who casually mentioned that she used to be a feedee model, and was still a feedee and sometimes gainer. We hung out one day and she gave me a huge meal and let me enjoy it and just be open about the pleasure I felt. She talked frankly about the benefits and detriments of gaining to over 400 lbs, which she had done, but by this time had lost weight and was closer to 275. Society likes to play things like once you get fat, it’s over, and your life will never be the same. In some ways, that’s true, your skin will not shrink back past a certain size, and once you’ve gained enough to make moving less comfortable, you will struggle to go back to some intense workouts. That said, taking care of yourself and making regular choices when you’re not engaged in play (stuffing for sexual gratification) is not actually that difficult. I found it much more difficult when I was in a constant state of self denial, because it was always “I’ll do this once more, then never again”. I do still like to plan for a stuffing. Give myself time to chose everything I want to eat, plan the menu, pick an outfit that will turn me on to try before, during, and after. Now that I’m gaining, I get the pleasure of feeling my fat move, swell, and bounce on top of the massive binge, feel how the texture changes as I fill my gut. I’m born this way, I love being this way, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. #feedeeforlife

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a fixation with fat. I can remember being a toddler and padding my clothes. I was only a teen when I realized that I had this fetish. I joined a fetish site when I was still underage (I know, shame on me) and fantasized about being a big girl. But until age 18 I was fit and slim and only became “chubby” after I turned 18. I experimented with gaining over the next 10 years, but it never stuck. I was always fearful of judgment and ended up losing any weight I gained. At my previous heaviest weight, I was 197lbs. Until 2019 I had never crossed the 200-pound mark. This rollercoaster was wearing me down mentally and physically. The turning point came when I moved to Italy in January of 2019. I arrived in Italy weighing 185lbs. I had intended to *lose* weight actually and brought along gym clothes. This was all part of the rollercoaster, of course. But when I got to Italy, it was like a switch flipped. I was FREE from judgment for the first time in my life. I was away in my own little world and able to eat and gain as I pleased. And so, I did. I went from 185lbs on January 20th to 231lbs and counting as of August 2019. I want to share my journey, starting in January and continuing to the present and beyond. Hope you enjoy!

As a kid, I remember the Pigs is Pigs cartoon, the cartoon that had Daffy Duck claiming he was trying to save the turkey as the weeks led up to Thanksgiving by eating all of his food, and a cartoon in which Olive Oil got really fat and Bluto was giving her huge boxes of chocolates that sabotaged Popeye's efforts to get her to reduce. In comic books, I remember a story in which Superman kept plying Lois Lane with candy and treats so that she would be very fat to disguise her from villains. In the comic strips, there was a long series in Lil Abner that had his girl friend getting very fat eating mushrooms. All of these were either appetite overwhelming better judgment or some kind of strategy. It was a Winnie Winkle comic strip that first gave me a sense of fat being something different. Her friend was chubby and started going out with a good looking man. Winnie was trying to get her to diet, assuming that would make him like her more, but then it turned out that he preferred her fat and was the reason that she was getting fatter. She wasn't getting fatter because she was stressed. She was getting fatter because he was feeding her. I remember being completely confused by why I found this scintillating and erotic. My first experience with finding someone eating being a turn on was actually pre-sexuality. I used to go to my grandparents house for the summer and they had live in staff. Sophia, the daughter of the cook, was chubby and beautiful in a dark haired, island kind of tan exotic way. I was 13 and she was 16 and had her drivers license. I became the equivalent of a puppy following her around. She would often do the shopping and I convinced her to let me tag along. At first, it was a bit awkward for reasons that I didn't understand. It was like I was somehow in the way. Finally, I asked her why she wasn't being nice to me and she explained with a bit of frustration that her mother always had her on a diet and the only time she could cheat was when she went into town to do the shopping. I remember it making me feel like it was hard to breath and I quickly explained that she should eat anything and everything that she wants and I would never tell. It actually became a kind of sexy dance, although no sex was involved, except that she let me give her back rubs which turned into tummy rubs. I became her enabler and encourager. There was a pantry and her mom always new what should be there so I started taking generous dessert servings and hiding them in my room so that I could give them to her later in the evening before I had to go to bed. Where I think before I got involved she would have been sneaking an ice cream cone or a cupcake from the bakery in town when she was shopping, my encouragement escalated to her buying a pint of ice cream and eating the whole thing in 15 minutes sitting in the car before we would head for home. In the two months that I was there, she was growing out of her clothes and must have put on almost 20 pounds. She stopped feeling comfortable in her jeans and started only wearing pants with expandable waists. As far as I know, no one ever caught on that I was involved. My next experience was when I was 15 and I had a girlfriend, Lucy, who would babysit every week for parents who would go out for several hours on a Friday or Saturday night. She was slightly chubby, probably being around 5'-5" and maybe 145 with a nice rack and definitive ass. But it was her thick belly that worried her. While she really wasn't fat, she was upset that she was not thin and it became an issue for her. I still am not sure whether what I did was sinister or somehow played into a game that she invented. We decided that she would never be able to diet and get thin until she no longer craved certain foods. The idea became her eating a vast quantity of something to the point of feeling sick and not being able to eat another bite. Again I was the enabler. She would tell me what she wanted to "eliminate" from her desires and I would buy it and bring it to the house where she was baby sitting. She would eat until she though she would burst. It was always things like Oreo cookies and milk, or ice cream, or a tray of Italian desserts. Her goal was always to finish what I brought, since anything left over would just get tossed out (she would never take anything home, since that would defeat the purpose - as well as probably cause her parents to freak out. She would take breaks from eating during which we would make out, which included lots of touching, with attention given to her big belly, love handles, generous breasts and Kardashian worthy hips, ass, and thighs. She admitted that she didn't think she could let anyone else touch her like that "because they wouldn't understand." Of course, I was probably the one who didn't understand. She clearly got off on this, while I was mesmerized. Later I understood it as her being a feedee and me being a feeder. She actually didn't really gain, since I think she kept herself in check the rest of the time, but her belly would get huge when she binged. At the beginning of our relationship she got me to give her a couple of my football jerseys, which became her disguise to cover up with her pants no longer able to be buttoned or even zipped up. We ended up at different schools, and I have no idea what eventually happened, but she still factors into my fantasies. It was around that time that I started drawing pictures of girls eating and getting fat. Integral to the thrill for me was the inability of the girl to control her appetites. I also loved the ads for Ayds which always had a story of a girl who had gotten too fat, but who got thin again by taking Ayds. I always played them backwards in my mind. This was all before the internet and I was totally unaware that there was anyone else in the world in which I lived that shared these feelings. Cosmo magazine would sometimes have an article about some girl who got fat and dieted down to be beautiful again. I enjoyed these articles in part because of the so much detail included about the eating and getting fat side of the equation. Now that I am more aware of how this seems to play in many peoples' thoughts, I wonder whether part of those articles was focusing on the overeating component. I remember one writer who did three articles, each spaced a couple of years apart. Part of her story was how she got fat, got thin, but then got fat again. Each article ended with her thin and with the declaration that she was "cured" of being fat. The tone of the article, however, always hinted that she would probably lose control again and gain the weight back. There was even the idea in the articles about how important it was for her to monitor her weight carefully so that she could catch herself when she was gaining weight so she could stop it in time. Back in the early 1980s, Playboy did a photo article with the title "Big and Beautiful." I was encouraged that maybe Playboy was willing to expand its perceptions of what makes a woman attractive. Unfortunately, their perception of big and beautiful was a woman who was was tall and weighed 150 pounds. Photos of real women were so much not the target for the readers of Playboy that the issue containing that article was apparently attacked by subscribers and Playboy issued an apology. I remember feeling really alienated and alone by that. If women 5 foot 10 inches tall weighing 150 pounds demanded an apology, what was wrong with me? I found another magazine that was much less refined than Playboy, which started including a second photo spread each month of a fat woman. It was very depressing, since the depiction of the woman was always less than flattering, emphasizing negatively how she was more pig than human. There is nothing in my predisposition towards women with larger bodies that is interested in humiliating or making fun of them. Key for me is the idea that my personal preferences help make a woman feel more comfortable being who they really are, although most of my experiences have been with women who enjoy flirting with overeating, but then compensate the rest of the time so that they avoid actually getting fat. Also, the reality, I have found, is that most women who go wild with a 10,000 calorie day do not have an appetite for a couple of days. There is also a kind of physiological phenomenon that has a body ignoring a lot of the calories that come in that kind of a flood. Technically, a woman who needs 2,600 calories to maintain should gain at least two pounds from that one day of eating. The next morning the scale will register several pounds heavier, but most of that is bloat, since the increased consumption of food tends to hold water in the system, and the food itself. If the woman eats sparingly for the next day or two, the end result can actually be no weight gain. This is why the small added snack is so devilish for the woman who is not trying to gain weight. The small addition of a snack with 350 calories - say a donut for a mid-morning break each day - will often be the most effective in gaining weight, particularly when the woman is not paying careful attention. Gaining one pound every 10 days means only three pounds a month. Three pounds in a month can be written of as a normal fluctuation. Of course, if each month is assumed as a normal fluctuation, the woman could put on 36 pounds in a year. The most sinister is the weight gain that is so slow that it corresponds to the normal times during the year to buy new clothes. If the woman is shopping two to four times a year for the coming season, the changes in weight can almost be ignored, since the new clothes replace the old. There was a girl who I was friends with, who was in complete ignorance that she had put on weight for an entire year. She tended to wear loose clothing anyway, so she didn't really notice that she was very slowly gaining. It was only when she went to put on the shorts in June that she had worn the previous summer and could no longer button them that she was noticing the change. She was so accustomed to being consistent with her weight, she didn't even own a scale. She immediately went out and bought one, totally freaking out when she brought it home and discovered she had gone from 130 to 155. She got really mad at me for not telling her that she was getting fat. We were not really going out and she was not aware of my preferences. Otherwise, she would probably have accused me of doing it to her, which I had not, other than not saying something like, "wow, I really like how much thicker you are getting!" which I kept to myself. I went over to her house that afternoon, but she was not in the mood to talk. She didn't let me in, but I could see through the door that she had an open half gallon of chocolate chip ice cream sitting on the counter in the kitchen with a spoon in it and no bowl nearby - I notice things like that. My guess was that, her response to gaining weight was pigging out. She ended up losing most of the weight and it was clear that any discussion about it was off limits. We never really developed much of a relationship. I was taking a psychology course in college that included one textbook on abnormal psychology. In it there was an chapter about a culture that fattens women to make them more attractive for marriage and referred to an African tribal leader who required his wives to be fattened to the point of extreme obesity. I still remember the description that they would get so fat, "that they could no longer support themselves standing for more than a minute at a time and preferred spending most of their time wallowing around and moving like overfed seals undulating on the floor." The issue for me was that this was in a book about abnormal psychology. Curvage and similar websites have helped convince me that, if I am abnormal, there are a lot of people who share my affliction.

Hello everyone! I am a 29 year old feedee, actively gaining and feeder and appreciator and I’m happy to be here! I want to introduce myself and share a quick origin story (very condensed) as my first post. I am interested in women exclusively and love to chat with FFA’s, female feeders, feedees and encouragers. I am looking for friends so open to chats with men too, just not sexual please. Anyways, here goes! (29m) I’ve been very fit, lean and muscular 170lb and quite a bit fatter, my heaviest being around 265lb. It’s odd because my whole life revolved around fitness and exercise and dieting for so much of life. I have always had trouble controlling my eating, to the point where it crosses into compulsive territory. Especially when I lived at home, when I was alone I would eat constantly. Getting up for a chip or a cookie. Then not being able to stop myself getting up for another, and another, until the whole container or bag is gone. I just can’t stop most days until I’m so full I feel like I’m gonna actually die and have to lay down. When I was a teenager I used to ride my bike for miles after school so even when I ate like this I was very lean. When I moved away from home at 18, I had to focus on work and was on a night shift schedule so, I had the same eating habits. I would gorge myself every night, all night. But I wasn’t exercising like I used to. Slowly I started to get fatter. I noticed my pants not really fitting at first. I remember blaming on the dryer shrinking them. Annoying. Being on my own and having my own money, in a bigger city with fast food on every single street at every corner, was really difficult for someone who has this compulsion. I would stop at Tim Hortons for donuts before work, after I had eaten breakfast. There was a McDonald’s at the train station and I would get multiple things off the value menu, almost running late so I could eat more on the train. Fast forward 10 months and I was fat. My legs were chunky, my hips were fat and woman-like and my belly protruded and jiggled when I walked. My face was round and had no definition. I had a sharp jawline before. None of my clothes fit so I wore sweatpants and bought cheap Walmart t shirts to get by. I had always loved big women and seeing women gain weight was so hot. But never myself. I would never even go there in my mind. I was ashamed and hated my body. But I couldn’t stop eating. The odd thing was, I was really, really horny and I didn’t really understand why. I would watch videos of weight gain or think about hot weight gains I had witnessed with girlfriends and release that I never showed my body off really, just when dating someone and being intimate but I still didn’t like my body. However the first lightbulb moment occurred during one of these times. About a year later, I was 19 and with a new girlfriend at the time who was very fit, I didn’t really like fit or thin women but we connected on a personality level really well and I did care for her. One of the first times we had sex, I remember being naked afterward together and we were just talking saying like “you’re so hot, you look so good” and at point I said something like “I’m glad you’re into me, I’ve gained a lot of weight this year and I feel so fat”. While we’re laying there she sits up and is like “you’re not FAT. You’re just a big guy, you have big shoulders, a big back and BIG SQUISHY BELLY” - and grabbed and squeezed my stomach while laughing and laid back beside me. This made me so, SO horny. Like I had to catch my breath and I didn’t fully finish but def pre came a little. This lead to us starting to kiss again and we had very passionate sex. After that every time we would have sex , I would place her hands on my stomach or she would just do it automatically and it always made it so much better. When I would release alone, I would grab my belly with my free hand and match the rhythm of my stroking and would have such intense orgasms. It was weird and I never did it before I was 19 but it was so good. I continued struggling with binge eating for the next few months and still felt shame about my body for the most part and wanted to lose - even though the belly stuff listed above blah blah blah. So I joined a gym. I hadn’t weighed myself since I was living at home and I was 155 and that was heavy to me. There was a scale at the gym so I used it… I was 212lb… I had a small frame and not a lot of muscle so this was insane for me. This was the second lightbulb. I was so ashamed, my heart dropped but then I got so, so horny. I had to leave and go “release”. I didn’t get much bigger this point in my life. I had broken up with my partner and travelled and got back into fitness and intermittent fasting but always struggled with food and eating. I ended up getting really thin again for a few years… although that changed. I’ll get into that in a second story. Just wanted to share how I found out I was feedee / had a weight gain fetish for myself. I wonder if others had a similar thing happen? Or did you always know? I’m currently about 250lb so I am much heavier than this story and will fill in the details of my timeline throughout my posts!

to view only my posts: click the magnify glass 🔎 below -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You guys requested a place where you could find all of my pictures so I'm gonna deliver that 🙂 but first, my feedee origin story: Like many others here on Curvage, I battled with body confidence for much of my life. One of my earliest memories is of my bestfriend's mom grabbing one of my fat rolls and mentioning my weight to my mother, which mortified me. My mom cooked many southern delicacies; fried chicken, fried pork chops, fried green tomatoes, mashed potatoes, cube steak, mac n cheese, it goes on and on.. I remember her replacing the water in our canned vegetables with butter so it was no wonder that I was a size 12 by age 12. My weight gain continued throughout middle school and early high school but I fell into an abusive relationship with an older man that lasted for 6 years. I lost a substantial amount of weight due an eating disorder and his treatment. My lowest weight was when I was living with him. At the time, I felt so fucking fat. I didn't realize that I was just very sick from being around such a controlling man. When I was dating him, I was allowed certain freedoms, such as friendships. I would play xbox all day and this is where I met my future roommate. It took forever to actually plan the whole thing out but in 2016, I left. Never to see my ex again. He spam called me for a couple days before I got a new phone number entirely. I won't pretend that I wasn't an emotional wreck after 6 years of prolonged abuse but I spent a long ass time in therapy, talking about what happened. It doesn't define me at all, I am not here to talk about domestic violence, to seek pity, etc etc. I just want to be transparent about my weightloss, weight gain, and why I am currently here now. Let's fast forward to 2018. I'm 22, super shy, and just moved to a city that accepts nudism. I started visiting bare beaches in 2021, only wearing a face mask. I was nervous but quickly gained confidence in my body. Little did I know the way I felt about myself was about to change completely though. The more I went to these beaches, the more free I felt in my body. The more willing I was to walk around in front of other beach goers, the more willing I was to get up and dance when I played music. By the time of the Summer, I was taking bare hikes in the woods, running, by the lake, and actually hugging other bare people. In 2021, I met my first feeder and they opened the door to the feedism community for me. In the past, people only ever encouraged me to be smaller, to workout, to lose weight. I never in my life experienced someone wanting the opposite. It did something to me, making me feel a way I never felt before. However, they our lives took different directions but since meeting them, I haven't been able to close the door on feedism. Over the past year, I have learned a lot about the fetish and how I feel about each aspect of it. There is a lot to discover and my journey has been very interesting to say the least. My goal now at 27 is to continue to overcome my food insecurities and to eat as much as I can without caring about what anyone think. I have many exciting events, adventures, and trips happening in 2022 and this is only this beginning of my career here at Curvage. If you're here now, you must be invested in getting to know me about me, so please stay up to date by following my thread. I'm going to post tons of photos in here AND only here from now on!! You are not going to want to miss out! Progress images: