VanillaGorilla

Possible, she’d lost it before she even gained the weight, maybe she just realized she lost 3 years of child bearing age…we do want a kid eventually and she’s made excuses or ‘well start trying after (insert milestone)’. Last thing I said to her in criticism was we both have friends with kids years older than the last time we had sex. Maybe harsh, but also true. wife mentioned last night she hasn’t taken weight loss injections for a few weeks now as well, maybe it wasn’t worth it. I read it can cause 5-30% lean muscle loss, so maybe her hate for her belly not going away may have some truth behind it. We’ll see what her next move is, but she’s still a fan of desserts and going out to eat (she’s going out tonight in fact).

Well, I can finally reset the clock, I can’t speculate what changed but wife and I finally had sex again. As ‘sad’ as I’ve been about her losing weight, and in the wrong way, she is still notably bigger than the last time we did any messing around. Her boobs are still a cup size bigger and fill my hands completely now, her belly still protrudes higher than my wrist when my hand is at her bikini area. when she was on top there were these soft hip/thigh creases I could slide my thumbs around, leaning down to kiss her belly met mine before our lips like it never had before. I just wish I could’ve experienced her when she was 25lbs heavier, maybe one day

It’s been a couple months, wife is still getting weekly ozempic shots. She’s now down to 155lb from her all time high of 185lb, she’s right about where she was when I made this thread the start of her Covid gain. She previously said this was her target weight, but now that she’s here ‘and still has a belly’ she wants to keep going. The glimmer of gainer hope is that because of the drug she has changed her habits 0%. She bought 6 bags of Candy to have for the holidays, eats whatever she wants (but in smaller portions than before). She’s lazy as ever and I don’t think that will change. We still go out to eat, go events and eat/drink. I started going to the gym again now that my new schedule allows it, she has no desire to put in the work. So in all likelihood she may ‘still have (more of) a belly’ than her previous 155lb because the drug is making her lose weight by other means (muscle or fat in other areas instead of using it up from exercise and diet, but I’m no doctor making $$ off of drug sales). We’ll see what the next months bring.

Posting again, but with a slightly different take: I started going to the gym again, taking supplements, etc…between sets looking around casually there are maybe 10 women, 8 of which are super fit, one of the ‘unfit’ girls to me is drop dead gorgeous. Sweating and putting in the work, showing her midriff off like the skinny girls, but has love handles and soft cleavage spilling out. that got me to thinking more in a sense of ‘stereotypical old time traditional roles’ of a man vs woman: at a super masculine mindset, maybe having a woman who is being provided everything she wants is the attractive thing, knowing you (the gym bro) are sacrificing everything you can to make yourself what your woman wants and to give her what she needs to be comfortable and happy and satisfied. I’m bias, but I think it’s more than a phenomenon for whatever reason

Thanks, I will. I think it was a relatively rapid change that she didn’t want and couldn’t accept. She still hates her belly and said that was the main driver for trying to lose the weight, she wishes she lost weight in other places besides her butt. I don’t know that she’ll ever accept her belly, but maybe over time if she can’t find the winning combination of weight loss without this drug she can learn to be comfortable with the one negative so she can feel good and have her big butt back...I’ll update with any changes next week when she goes to the dietician (this week despite her vomiting issues she did not lose any weight).

Doctor approved weekly obesity prescription injections update: wife is vomiting again after she said she’d finish her Chick-fil-A lunch, for dinner (she probably had 800cal for the whole day before this incident). I told her that she is just a just a textbook bulimic if she didn’t have a prescription causing it; the doctors note is all that makes this socially ‘right’. She took great offense. So I asked her to prove me wrong and tell me the last time she felt this bad, When the last time she threw up in general while otherwise being healthy and sober (she has vomited 3-4x in front of me during these injection periods in the last 6-8wks). She said ‘but I was obese, I just wanted to get healthy’…I said ‘do you feel fckng healthy?’ We dealt a bit about our intimacy in all this time too but I was / am livid about her weight loss attempts as of recent. She said she feels sad that she can tell her butt is smaller, the only part she liked getting bigger, but she can’t notice anything else (even though I ran my hands around what I could see and feel). My ultimatum, that I said in a post above, and to her years ago: ‘put in the Fkn work, make it feel worth it, I’ll be there as close or far as she wants but stop the meds making her bulimic.’ At least that part I think was received better than anything I’ve said to her in the last 3yrs (even though they were the same words, maybe she medicinally hit rock bottom and realized there is no snake oil to get the results).

So, all of this doom and gloom above, I wanted to add a bit to things (for myself). I’ve been giving her time and space to help her improve overall (she got Covid for a stint too and was feeling crummy, I know any touches or advances I’d try would only be worse). I’m going to try and bridge the subject again with her this week and politely say ‘what is holding you back, i have a lot of questions that have never been answered but need to be if we keep heading this way…’ for fun as fuzzy as the candid screenshots are for the wifey archive: a 15lb lighter wifey pulling up compression shorts…still crazy about that little body.

So, I feel like I should give an update. The short: when wife had a health issue she needed surgery for they also showed her a weight loss pamphlet (she’s 100% healthier than ever now, it was a simple surgery). That same clinic offers weight loss and since she was officially ‘obese’ they could give her ozempic (I believe) injections 1x a week to lose weight, and also give her appetite suppressant pills. She’s lost 15lb in a month without changing her habits, other than the obvious loss of appetite and injections (but no change in food type desire). I can feel her hip bones again but she still says she can’t tell the weight she’s lost (she lost a bit in her waist and belly, but her thighs and butt are still thick AF). So it’s like the worst of both worlds currently, she doesn’t see what she lost and still doesn’t feel attractive and I see what she lost, it sucks to me, but more importantly, to me, she still wants nothing to do with me. I think long term, she will let these appointments lapse, nothing has changed from her lifestyle other than the drugs making her feel miserable for the results (I’ve pointed that out to her…let’s do it right together so you feel good and see results from the work you put in, not the drugs you feel shitty from, she obviously just wants some kind of result in her head without changing). I don’t want it for her, but you can’t keep the results without putting in the work is the bottom line. I’ve advocated that even 5-6yrs ago when she said she didn’t want to work out with me for whatever reasons she had (self image). We’ve been together too long to let things drag us apart, but we’ve never been further away than this year - her heaviest, and her attempts to get back to how she wants to see herself

I’m neither fit nor fat. could be considered skinny fat, I do hard work but don’t ‘exercise’ in a gym or try to shape my physique…but my take on this: we eat what’s around us, if a fit guy is eating calories to gain muscle mass, maybe his girl is used to seeing those portions, or preparing that volume but she is doing zero physical work to burn that off.

I had the rare privilege today to work from home so for once wife had to get ready before me. I saw the perfect opportunity and couldn’t resist, her butt and thighs have never been sexier to me. The comparison is a super old pic from when we first met at 120lb to today. Last night we showered together and she would sit on my lap between soaking and soaping. I am just in awe of her little belly roll when she sits, while hugging her I can tuck my arm underneath it and let it rest covering almost my entire arms width! we sit next to each other on the bench and I realize she’s sitting a lot higher than me, her thighs and butt make the tops of her thighs go 2”+ higher than mine. I also notice the starting of love handle back creases as she’s upright. She would get one if she leaned to one side before but now the beginnings of creases on both sides just sitting still. I also had to take a pic of her work outfit and how she normally wears her jeans. I’m always jealous of what her coworkers get to look at all day and I just get a quick glimpse.

Wife went out to eat every night for the last 4 nights and we had dessert almost every time as well. When we were at brunch today she told me her dietician appt is this coming weds. We talked about her weight, a bit, she grabbed her belly in public and said “I just want to get rid of this belly, I don’t mind the rest of my weight” I said I love everything about her body, she said she knows, I make it obvious. She doesn’t want to get down to her wedding weight (120lb), she admits that’s too skinny, she wants to target 140-150 (she claims she is up to 180lb currently). she said the main reason for the dietician is that she realized she doesn’t have a primary care doctor and this will get her in sooner than one. I think and hope when she hears she is healthy she will relax again. I say she claims her weight is 180lb because she said she was ‘just under 180’ when she got her size 10 pants the other month and she’s almost outgrown them already…I know we discussed the comfort thing on here, I’ve hinted that I wanted to go clothes shopping so maybe it would spark her, but I’m not about to make it anymore obvious to her. Every time we get home she unbuttons her pants before the doors closed. We were in the store today and I was shocked at how round her belly looked and how much she’s letting her little belly bulge over the pants (usually she would wear her pants higher to cover her belly, but there must not be room or they slide down as her belly jiggles walking). We had just eaten a burger, fries, and a drink, now she’s napping on the couch. Same day, it’s the first cold morning in a while, she slides these bottoms on that she hasn’t worn in 6-12mo. She has to slide them on and do a little hop like you’d put tight jeans on because the draw string is too tight from her slimmer self and they’ve stopped at her butt

Thanks, and nothing to worry about, I type to get things off my chest and vent, and look for any kind of input to hopefully get us in the right direction. Our relationship at this point seems like a ‘safe comfort’ of having someone next to you but not really pushing for more of what I/we want…I can’t imagine not being with her after all these years, if in another 6-12mo nothing changes I’d already considered the open relationship proposal, but I really don’t want it to get to that point. wife went to her post-op and everything is fine, but she did bring a dietician pamphlet out with her, she sounded like she wanted to join their program. I want her to be healthy and happy, I think she’s healthy now and even another 50+lb heavier, I’ll always encourage….but she’s also naturally lazy and enjoys ‘doing nothing’. Since the pamphlet we’ve eaten out 1/2 the nights and today she got fast food for lunch and is going out to eat w/ a girlfriend for dinner. I think she’ll try to diet, but it’ll stick like her gym routines (where she gained ~20lb while going to 2x wk classes for 6mo). I offered to work out with her and ‘train her’ (I used to go to the gym and weightlift 1-2hrs every day), but she doesn’t want me bossing her around or watching her work out.

Thanks for the reply, very well thought out and helpful. I’ll try to go over the points as best I can describe: 1) we still cuddle almost every night before bed and she lets me put my hands all over her. We often shower together so that time together naked also helps coping with the lack of sex. She has been willing to make out and has given a couple HJ’s and BJ’s over the years but she wants nothing in return and does not want to have sex, she will string me along and say ‘maybe’ or ‘we’ll see later’ - which I’d rather her just flat out say no. I cope mostly in my own time away from her on websites like this or OF, CB….she knows I do this, but I haven’t gone into specifics of the girls or sites (in fear she would compare herself to the girls and think that this shape is all I’m attracted to, or I want her to be like them which I know would really give her a complex with how her current mindstate and self image are). it’s ironic that stereotypically this scenario would be skinny slender models that the girl would see as an unobtainable standard and get a complex over and I’m just over here looking at chubby women and stretch marks and bubble butts fearing she think that I see her as that when she nstead wants to be more like the stereotypical model (or at least slender). 2) we have had dozens of discussions from why she doesn’t want to have sex, how she’s coping with it, if there’s someone else or she doesn’t find me attractive, what she doesn’t like about gaining weight or her belly…I say I love all of it, I don’t want her to feel like she has to look any certain way for me, mention that we’ve know each other damn near half our lives (15yrs) and there’s nothing I can see or feel that would make me feel otherwise. She never really gives specifics about why she doesn’t like her body, and her interest in sex stopped a solid year before she gained any weight (she mentions work stress) she also says she just needs to work on herself and her mental image, etc. I give it time then ask later on down the road with minimal change. One of my fears is that she knows I like the weight she’s put on, so she sees any compliment I give (even non weight related) as a negative now. I don’t want to point out parts of her I know she hates. I’ve told her how I love the shape of her belly and how how it’s part of this curvy flow and shape of her body, she accepts the compliment but I can hear she doesn’t like it being brought up so I stop. Obviously I compliment other features and tell her I love her, her new haircut is cute, etc. 3) the clothes thing I get and agree, to a point. I’ve gone shopping with her and have offered to buy clothes, but I’m not going to surprise her with anything new out of the blue. I’d be afraid of her reaction if I went out and got her a size up something to make her more comfortable, that just seems like a slap in the face to someone who is having self image issues and it would be the physical affirmation that her husband has noticed her getting bigger. She’s don’t a good job going out to get new clothes recently #3 was a timely subject because I saw 2 new bras in the laundry the other day. She’s been a 34C for the last 15yrs, she finally went up to 36D (she’s admitted for 1-2yrs now that her boobs have gotten much bigger, about the only positive things she’s mentioned about her weight) but I guess they’ve either tight enough for the bra to be uncomfortable and/or she’s noticing too much cup overflow. As big and perky as they are her belly still pokes ahead of them a bit Nothing notable otherwise, wife had to have a small surgery, everything is fine and she’s healthy, I’ve been trying to be less annoying around her while she recovers! She should be back to normal in a week

The week has come for vacation, wife has dinner reservations planned for 3 nights and snack/drink/event plans for the daytime. exited to see if I can get her out of her comfort zone a bit in a new environment in the hotel room. She’s also been on an online shopping spree buying L size clothes, and shirts “that fit more loosely”. She kept some size 8 jeans and medium clothes (maybe as motivation and acceptance of that now being her target weight), but she donated her old size 3 and 5 pants, smalls. it’s also interesting how I think her body gains: at the beginning of all this her first complaint was how her thigh gap turned into a chub rub, she has several stretch marks on her inner thighs from it. Next her belly blew up a bit before her boobs had time to join in. Most recently she put some weight on at her hips, getting some stretch marks there to prove it…last night I caught her lotioning her legs and she now has new stretch marks mid-way down her thighs, so her thighs are tickening again it would seem

I guess there’s worse things than obsessing over your own wife, but I found a picture from ~7 years ago with her in the same shirt and had to compare. I want to keep her anonymity above all else, you can kind of see the change in her cute chin and also where some of those 60lbs have gone…I love the recess in the shirt for her belly button; I can’t remember it looking that big and deep. Comparing the two pics I’m pretty shocked that she’s gotten this far, I hope she finds a way to be happy with her body at this weight (or bigger), and doesn’t have a breakdown soon.