Bleigh23

Yes to soft limits! I go more by clothing sizes than actual weight. I was skinny when I was younger and I would gain about 10lbs a year at every physical and thought that was totally okay. Until it wasn’t. The freshman fifteen(really 18) happened to me in high school and I was just told that my “bmi was too high.” I had to keep getting bigger clothes all through high school. Looking back I definitely developed some kind of eating disorder after that because I would always say I wanted to lose weight to fit in but not really take the necessary steps to get there. I would try to stop eating for extended periods of time and then gorge myself the first chance I got. I thought as long as I didn’t go over 200lbs or a size 14 I was fine. College started and I was already a pant size bigger by Christmas and by the following summer I was up 32lbs. I was the biggest I had ever been and was getting called out on it by friends and family. That started a cycle of yoyo dieting where I would gain then lose then gain then lose for about 5 years. Just before the pandemic I crossed over the 240 hump and was in tight size 14 jeans. During the shutdown I was only wearing sweatpants and actually eating 3 meals a day at home. I think all we did was eat. A week before going back to work I went over my best friends house to swim. My bathing suit was tight and she said “Have you been working out? Because you’re looking a lot chunkier. And your boobs look bigger.” I didn’t think I had gained much but when I got home I tried my work pants on and I could barely get them over my legs. My bras also didn’t fit. I stepped on the scale to discover that I had gained 27 lbs in 3 months! Once I bought size 18 jeans I said I wouldn’t allow myself to get as big as a size 20 but this past year I stopped caring and started stuffing myself. I bought size 20 jeans in the summer and after this holiday season I might need to go another size up. I’m closer to 300lbs now and I don’t know how I feel about that.

Hi everyone! My name is Breigh. I’m new to this community and definitely have a thing for binge eating and being fat. When I was younger, I always thought it was normal to gain 10 lbs a year at my physicals. Until the year that I gained 18 lbs and my Mother asked me how I got so fat. That was btwn middle and high school and I kept gaining every year. Before Senior year I was about 182 and after my freshman year of college I was hovering around 217. Oops. I fluctuated over the years and at my physical after college graduation I was 227 lbs. The doctor asked me to lose 10% of my body weight. I thought that was the heaviest I would ever be. Boy was I wrong. I tried to diet and exercise but it was so hard not to eat the foods I love. My Mom always commented on how heavy I was and told me that my clothes were too tight. When I could no longer button my jeans I had to go shopping for new clothes. I didn’t think I had gained that much but I hadn’t been on the scale in awhile. I went from a size 12 to a 16 and decided to weigh myself. I was about 245 lbs. I still thought I wasn’t too heavy. A couple years later I was going on a mountains trip and the bungee course had a 250 lb weight requirement. I got on the scale and I was 258 lbs. I made it my mission to lose enough weight to go on the course. I did it in record time and got down to 243 lbs with enough room to spare for all the vacation food. I slowly gained afterwards and filled out my clothes again. I knew I was hovering around the 250’s. Fast forward to covid and I was home for 3 months. All I did was bake and eat all day while reading and watching hallmark movies and I wore sweat pants pretty much every day. It didn’t even occur to me that I had put on any weight. A friend invited me to her pool and I couldn’t find a swimsuit that fit so I wore stretchy shorts and a baggy shirt and she said “are you exercising? Because you’re looking chunky.” I immediately got on the scale and I was a whopping 277 lbs. Nearly 30 lbs in 3 months. I was going back to work in 2 weeks so I tried my jeans on and I couldn’t even zip them. Up to a size 18 I went. For the last 2 years I haven’t stepped on the scale and my clothes have fit me just fine. Until they didn’t. I’ve been struggling to button my jeans and clasp my bras and they create a spare tire at my middle so I got on the scale and I’m now 286 lbs and headed to the store for bigger jeans. I have never been this heavy in my entire life and I’m afraid to admit that I love it but I also know that I can’t get heavier because of my family and friends. I’m at a loss. I would love to get up to 300 lbs before I start losing.