The main problem in my opinion is that so many guys are turned on by bbws and feederism and are desperately horny about it, however they don't understand that a relationship has to be based on more than just a fetish. Immaturity plays a part - they want the thing that turns them on so much but aren't prepared to be seen publicly with a big girl.
It's a sad truth - you have to choose wisely you have to choose a guy who wants all of you - not just a fat fantasy. He needs to be able to stand in front of friends and family and say I love FAT.
I wish you every success - sex between people who share a fetish like ours is (as you know) absolutely electric - better than anything else - so persevere
he's out there ......