bigfatbellylover92

I don't think the "you knew what you were getting yourself into" is really correct. For one it was many years ago now and there is a reason relationship weight is a cliche. But it also seems to indicate that attraction isn't on a spectrum. As I said above her gaining weight is my preference. You can have a preference and still be attracted to something that doesn't meet that; e.g. you may have a preference to blondes, but still find brunettes attractive. I found my wife incredibly attractive when she was 120. I find her more attractive now, and I would prefer the number to be higher. I also am not ancy in the relationship. No desire to leave or any regrets when it comes to who I married. She never asked me to go to the gym, I did it because guys with noticable muscle are her preference and I wanted to be as attractive as I could be to one particular person. We've discussed the celebrities she finds attractive and I made the decision to work towards a goal. The gym started while she was still pregnant, so before I bought up the possibility of trying to gain weight. The weight gain came up when she started to lose the pregnancy weight and I told her I preferred her at the higher end. So no the gym was not an attempt to get her to change her mind. But with the tepid response to my asking is what made the nagging feeling about the difference in our viewpoints start. But you say it is kinda a big ask to request that she put on weight. Why? I'm not asking for 100 lbs it's 10. And I also discussed going on walks with her to keep her healthy. Would it be a big ask if instead of asking her to gain 10 I asked her to lose it instead? Why is one acceptable and the other not? And at the end of the day it's her body and her decision and I'll support whatever decision she makes, but that doesn't mean there won't be a feeling of disappointment. And I think that's what my post boils down to. Is it fair to feel that disappointment when I'm making an effort and not seeing a mutual response?

So I've been with my wife almost 8 years now, married for almost 4. I let her know of my preference right after we had been dating for a year. Her response then was she won't try to gain but no plans to diet. I had hoped that happy relationship would lead to at least some relationship weight, but nothing ever came. She's 5'3" and was always around 120 lbs. Fast forward to now and post 2 kids she's at 140. I raised the possibility of gaining again recently and the response was pretty much the same as before, but it seems as though she's losing weight slowly but surely. I had hoped her birth control would help the numbers climb, but so far no. Now my issue is this. Since the beginning of July I've been consistently going to the gym to work on being as attractive as possible to her. Kids have definitely slowed the sex life to a crawl so I figured a good way to bump it up is to be the most attractive version of myself in her eyes. I'm there 3-4 times a week alternating between swimming 2 km and weights. The difference is noticable. Am I wrong to feel disappointed that there isn't any desire on her end to do something similar? I feel as though I'm the one putting in a lot of effort for no reward. My view is I want to be the most attractive in my wife's eyes don't care what other people think I'm with her so it's her eyes only. I've told her that is my opinion. To be honest I have brought up the weight issue more frequently recently. I think it's because my feeling is since we're not that sexually active lately the only "martial joy" available is from a visual standpoint. The other reason is before our second was conceived she had agreed to get to 150. Needless to say that never happened and when I brought the previous promise up recently she got annoyed and said I was pushing too much. Tldr: Am I the asshole for hoping for the same effort from my wife to be the most attractive version in my eyes as I'm putting in to be that for her?

So just giving a bit of an update. I still don't have weight since the scales are away. But we did do some measurements so she would know what size coat to ask for Christmas for. Bust -34 inches Belly - 33 inches Hips - 38 inches Butt - 41 inches She wondered why I was getting the butt measurement. I just said because it's fun.

It's been almost a month since the first shot. I made sure to put away the scales before this started so if there was any significant weight gain she wouldn't really be aware and decide to stop early. So I sadly don't have any numbers to back up at this point. But I can speak to what it appears to visibly be doing and what I can feel. Liked I mentioned before in my last post she's still mostly wearing maternity pants with the shapewear built in; but even with them on it seems her hips and waist have begun to widen. She's looking as though there are a few new rolls on her sides and her belly definitely is protruding much more noticably. Her arms, legs and even her chin are starting to look softer as well. The other day when we were fooling around she felt heavier on me too. Her lovehandles sure felt bigger and softer too when I grabbed hold of them. But things moved fast when I grabbed her belly. There is a noticable softness and squish that I can't remember being there before. All in all it seems to be promising. Without actual numbers I can't be sure this isn't me seeing what I want to see, but I'm hopeful. And if I am seeing what I think I am I can't seperate what's from the shot, what's from her lower activity level, and what's from my "encouraging." I think I'll have a more solid idea if the shot is all it's hyped to be by the end of the first 3 month period. I'm still very interested in personal experience especially from some of the women on the board since you might have actual first hand knowledge.

So far everything has been going pretty well. Libido not really an issue at this point as the baby sleeps next to our bed so not like we're doing anything for the near future anyway. It may be wishful thinking but I do think it's having the desired effect. She still wears her maternity pants most of the time which has shapewear included, but when she takes it off her lovehandles seem more pronounced and there is a new level of softeness when I grab around her waist. I have no numbers to confirm the scales were put away before she started so to let things run their course.

Well the ideal is the weight gain with the libido uneffected of course. To the point about the water weight depo is the one birth control proven to have a weight gain that isn't water but actual fat. And she has all the "risk factors" of early gainers. Studies show more likely to caise substantial weight gain to women who start who have already had kids, starting bmi of less than 30, and gain 5% of starting body weight in 6 months. So 2 out of 3 at the start and the 5% is only 7 pounds she would need to gain in 6 months. I think I can encourage that.

My wife is 1.5 months post baby number 2. She's still up 20ish pounds from pre-pregancy (which is 20ish up from pre-first). She's sitting around 145 and is 5'4". She's starting depo provera tomorrow after not being on any birth control since 2015. It really seems like the best fit for our family at the moment as we can't afford a surprise at the moment. A positive side effect (from my perspective) is the seemingly common and possibly substantial weight gain. I've been reading a bunch of old message boards online about it, but I'm looking to see if anyone on this board has any experience. If you took it please let me know your experience. Did you or SO gain? If yes, how much, how quickly, and how soon after starting? Where did the weight seem to concentrate? And if you or SO is no longer on it did the weight go away or stick around?