Honestly, thank you for sharing your vision on things it undoubtedly will make people think about this subject, their own actions and themselves as well.
I highly agree with @MarshallT and @cycling1951 to begin with, I believe there are some that ruin it for the others by their submissive, blunt and careless actions. Thinking they are the bomb and looking for recognition or something. I don’t get that either!
So let’s share how I look at it from my perspective. I consider myself to be a FA. I don’t have a very narrow bodyweight/BMI related window in which I find a woman attractive. Because I can find a woman of 160lbs very attractive yet I can also find another woman of 350 lbs equally as attractive. Yet I have trouble to find (very)skinny woman attractive. For me they should have got some meat on their bones so to say. I think texture does play a role in that sense.
Furthermore I don’t have the ‘rule‘ that a chubby/fat woman should always have been heavier in their childhood for me to be attracted to them. Actually I don’t really care about that. I do care about their own development what they have been through in life and why they are who they are now. I’m highly attracted to woman who are confident with themselves, and maybe even more if they have found their true self after thinking they didn’t fit in. I do want people in general to feel good about themselves. I do have the tendency to compliment curvaceous/bigger/heavier woman more than skinny woman, and will only do that if I mean it. I believe the heavier woman get too less recognition and positive feedback. To me they may be proud at them selves and about who they are. That supermodel industry and fake role models do disturb me a lot. I am so glad with plus size models and realistic campaigns! Change the mind of young woman that it is okay to be who you are and have some curves that are yours.
Ow and yes I am so allergic to people who want to change people (if they haven’t asked them for support/advice/help to change, because then it is okay to me. If it would be all for the better ). I am with you as well on that point as you stated well why don’t find a woman /partner you’re happy with as a start and don’t make them change for you. I also don’t get it why I would start to date a (very) skinny girl and make her chubbier so that I would like her?? Twisted.....
Yet I can appreciate someone who is okay with who they are and the lifestyle they have. Like also when for example they just like to eat and have decided to ditch diets and therefore gain some pounds. I can appreciate that but only without many negative effects(!) Even more so when they seem to be more confident and like themselves more. (Gain related or not)
My turn off would be an constantly up and down like/dislike self-esteem with a highly weight related drive on ‘beauty‘. Like for example; someone is feeling ugly because there has been a gain of 5lbs.... honestly I prob wouldn’t have noticed it without them saying it or when the scale says it. So to me they only feel ugly because the scale says it. By some it can have such a major impact on someones self-esteem. Suddenly they go from confident and happy to uncertain and feeling like a true failure. Just by the number on the scale... to me that is something I’ll never understand and I can be and about it quite easily.
So maybe I’m more okay with people who are not that weight number driven and whom maybe even be okay with added pounds instead of rotating 180 deg regarding their vibe.
Yet when in a relationship and it appeares that the partner should be less happy about something and wants to change that, I’ll support that 100%. Because I want them to be happy, first and foremost with themselves. Because I am convinced that I can only love someone who can truly love themself.
Ow and last thing to say, I also don’t agree with ‘the fatter, the better’ because it just isn’t! Some ladies I think they do look better at a higher weight, yet I only have this when it’s proven(!). Because they are that weight now and have been thinner in the past, or when they were heavier in the past and thinner now. Yet I can’t say I think a woman would look much better if she would be X pounds heavier Without knowing how she would look. Because it still highly depends on a woman’s bodyshape and how that would develop, together with her own glow and appearance!
I also could have this the other way around, a woman for me can also look much better when she was thinner or had lost some weight (yet is a bit chubby, due to the texture, tactile thing?)
Because when she would be unhappy at a heavier weight and happy after a weight loss, I can truly admire the effort and will be more than happy with her at a lower weight!
Welll... it has been quite a story and hope you’ll find it interesting to read. Furthermore I hope it is also a clear story lol. If someone would have any questions about it, please ask!