I have been with the girl in with now for 2 and a half years. I’m 21 and she is about to turn 20. We are currently in college and at this point in my life I am ready to fully commit and prepare for proposing in the next 3-4 years and yeah 3-4 years is still a decent ways away but as I’ve gotten older and been in school for a while now it seems like time is flying by.
But now for my dilemma. The relationship I have been in hasn’t been bad by any means and I have not been miserable, however, there are some things that make me wonder is she the right choice when it comes to marriage. I always hear that the woman is always right and I’ve spoken to several women who think that is a toxic trait that some women hold over men so i know there is hope out there. My girlfriend is one who has to be right and is never the one to blame for anything and it really irks me. I find myself constantly apologizing for things that aren’t my fault, or her fault entirely. Another problem is my GF and I share different views politically, now I am studying to become a Constitutional lawyer, and my Dream has always been to run for an office of some sort, well any time I speak about my beliefs or even what is going on in the world today she completely blows me off and get pisses at me for some of the things I believe. Now I personally believe that she should support what i stand for, I do not think she has to agree with me but I do think if she loves me and wants me to be successful she needs to support me. Some other things include her lack of communication not only to me but to others and her ability to do everyday “adult” things for herself, now I will admit we both still have some growing up to do because we are only 21 and 20 so that’s still “young and dumb”, however, I do think she needs to be able to communicate and get things done on her own. She has always been pretty well off so she has never had to hold a job or really buy stuff for herself for that matter, ie., a car, any accessory and so forth. I on the other hand have held a job since I was 15 and consider myself to be a fairly mature individual. What I am getting at is she really depends on me and her parents to get things done for her and I find it concerning that at this point in her life she has never had a real job and she expects to hold a career in the medical field and already has a difficult time communicating. So I don’t know if she is ready to 1. Possibly attend different graduate schools and 2. Survive without constant aid from others. I apologize for this being as long as it is, I have just had a lot on my mind recently and I want to make sure I am making the right decision for my future. As I continue, I I’ll say that she is a nice person ultimately, she is smart, pretty and fun to be around. But there is more to life then just those things and that’s why I am here. So another problem I have is her lack of willing to do things for me although I do a lot for her. Although this isn’t a huge problem it still represents the point, she hates dogs, and I am a dog person, I’ve always wanted dog when I have my own place and what not well she’s a cat person and she’s always wanted a cat, I personally don’t have a problem with cats i just prefer dogs, but the problem here is she told me she could not tolerate having a dog and I told her that I am willing to not have a dog just for her, so I proceeded to ask if it would be okay not to have a cat also and just have no pets. (Bad move) she proceeds to tell me that she is going to have a cat and that if we don’t then she will just break up with me. I don’t know about you all but that seems a little harsh to tell your BF if 2 years just because I was making a hypothetical. The current job I have now is pretty cool, over the summer I work camps for about two months but it requires me to be gone for most of that time and she hates it because I’m gone, the thing is though she has asked me to quit and find another job so that we can see each other more, well I told her I could do that but 1. I would be working a lot harder possibly to make near the pay I make for these camps 2. I would be working less and not have enough money 3. I would hate my job and be miserable
or I could keep my awesome paying low manual labor job, I personally think she just doesn’t understand because she’s never had a job so she has nothing to compare it to but still I think she should be happy that I have such a great job, and it goes back to another thing if she had a hard time with me being gone 2 months out of the year I don’t know how she will be able to handle us going to different graduate schools in the future.
So altogether I would say currently i just don’t feel supported by her and I feel like I’m putting in most of the work for little in return. I have spoken to her about these things and im leaving some things out bc I’ve already made this long enough but i just wanted some advice on what I should do moving forward! Thanks in advance!