For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a fixation with fat. I can remember being a toddler and padding my clothes. I was only a teen when I realized that I had this fetish. I joined a fetish site when I was still underage (I know, shame on me) and fantasized about being a big girl. But until age 18 I was fit and slim and only became “chubby” after I turned 18. I experimented with gaining over the next 10 years, but it never stuck. I was always fearful of judgment and ended up losing any weight I gained. At my previous heaviest weight, I was 197lbs. Until 2019 I had never crossed the 200-pound mark. This rollercoaster was wearing me down mentally and physically. The turning point came when I moved to Italy in January of 2019. I arrived in Italy weighing 185lbs. I had intended to *lose* weight actually and brought along gym clothes. This was all part of the rollercoaster, of course. But when I got to Italy, it was like a switch flipped. I was FREE from judgment for the first time in my life. I was away in my own little world and able to eat and gain as I pleased. And so, I did. I went from 185lbs on January 20th to 231lbs and counting as of August 2019. I want to share my journey, starting in January and continuing to the present and beyond. Hope you enjoy!