Milhause

I have a recent one. My wife was around 215 last summer and has gained 15-20 pounds since then. We were over at my in laws for a family dinner. Their dining room chairs are wood and they have these thin wood slats on the chair back. While the chairs aren’t new, they’re very sturdy and have held up over decades of family gatherings. My wife goes to sit down in her spot for dinner and sort of plopped her full weight into the chair. It audibly groaned under her weight and when she leaned back the chair slats made a small crack/straining noise like they were bending and close to snapping. No one except me and my MIL noticed. She kind of raised an eyebrow like ‘omg is my daughter about to break a kitchen chair’ Luckily my wife didn’t really notice and had seconds at dinner and a big dessert. It wasn’t super embarrassing, but it’s the first time she’s had a furniture moment like that.

Didn’t happen to me but I was around when it happened. Our company had a volunteer day planned and I was in charge of ordering our t-shirts. That’s how I found out one of my coworkers was a 3XL. We carpooled to the volunteer site in my boss’ truck and I was in the middle seat in the back, next to my coworker who was on my left. We go over an old speed bump in the parking lot and my boss hit it kind of fast so it threw us all in the air for a moment. We we came down on the seat and there was a loud CRUNCH that sounded like the seat frame buckling. My boss said, “What the hell was that, this truck is practically brand new??” My co-worker, who was not shy about her size, said, “Oh that was me! Good thing you got a Silverado 1500!”

My wife has been asked if she’s pregnant a few times. Once was by a neighbor who who said, “Looking big! When are you due?” The other time she was standing next to my obviously pregnant sister in law (think of a twig hiding a beach ball under her shirt). The person we were talking to said “How fun that you’re pregnant at the same time!”

I’m smashin that #1 button without a second thought

I should note that like any journey, it has its peaks and valleys. I think it’s comforting to know that I’ll love her no matter her size, but I also know all things being equal she’d prefer to lose weight. And I’ve supported her diets in the past, though they never last more than a week or two. She’s a self-proclaimed couch potato so given the choice between the gym or snacking and scrolling, she’s gonna choose the latter. It can be liberating, for sure. But it can also be isolating because I’m always having to calibrate. Like right now, she’s starting to grow out of the size 18 jeans she got like six months ago. The FA in me wants to throw a parade but I know she’s probably got some complicated feelings about it. So it’s a dance between reinforcing how much I love her no matter what, while giving her space to work through her feelings.

It’s been a journey. When I got the courage to tell my wife, she was nonjudgmental and listened. I was worried she’d think I’d only be into her if she gained, but I made clear I was sharing this info with zero expectation other than getting it off my chest. She’s 5’4” and when we met I think she was around 200lbs. (She’s never shared her weight with me intentionally so I had to guess based clues) She appreciated the honesty but didn’t really seem interested in exploring it or even learning more. That said, even if it never manifested any active kink participation I have noticed since that day she’s adopted a kind of “food freedom.” She basically eats whatever she wants, when she wants it. Instead of second guessing if she should get seconds, she just gets some. Dessert used to be an occasional thing; now she almost always has something sweet after dinner… sometimes she’ll even have two! She’s learned she never has to “justify” a snack or treat around me. It’s not uncommon for her to be snacking less than an hour after we’ve eaten. Basically what I’d call soft encouragement: the food/snacks are there but it’s totally up to her if she wants them. This has led to her gaining about 35-40 lbs over a few years. In some ways, it was nice to be 100% open about things. No one else knows this about me except her. In other ways, it’s tough. Her belly drives me absolutely wild but it’s the thing she’s MOST self-conscious about. Sometimes (but not all) when we’re having sex, she’ll move my hands to her tummy. It’s 100% just for me as I can tell that even if she’s not put off by the touch, it does nothing for her. It’s all about walking a tightrope of knowing where the line is. For example, sometimes she walks around the house in a bra and tight jeans and I want to tell her the way her jeans hug her belly and curves looks so sexy, but I’ve learned that a simple “I appreciate the view!” is the better way to go. I guess we’re in a place now where she knows this about me and is fine (for now) with passively gaining, and if that’s all it ever amounts to I’m okay with that.

It sounds like he might have a bit of a compulsion. Your bf needs to be reminded that porn of any kind (fetish or normie) is not reality. If he can only get off with fetish videos, then he’s probably spending too much time immersed in it. i don’t have a lot of advice other than talking to him about the line between fantasy and reality. Might need to evaluate if there is a long term future with him or establish some firm boundaries to ensure his addiction doesn’t adversely affect you more than it already has.

Another fun little discovery. Our dining table was evenly placed between the kitchen and opposite wall. A few days ago I noticed the table was pushed an inch or two towards the side i sit on. I wanted to test if this was intentional or accidental so I moved it back. Yesterday it was pushed towards my side again, I think to give her more wiggle room between the table and wall.

Idk if it’ll work with the height difference but you could try laying on your back near the edge of the bed and he can stand. Might give him easier access with a big belly.

Let’s hear it for all the ways you get daily reminders that your partner is big. Not talking about measurements or the scale, but more subtle and not so subtle things. My gal’s got almost 90lbs on me and even though I don’t really notice our size difference sometimes reminders creep in. Like when I get in bed, it creaks. When she gets in bed, it creaks and the bed frame/mattress moves After folding laundry, her jeans are noticeably bigger next to mine We have a two car garage, but it’s only big enough for our two cars. When I park on my side I have two options: hug the left and make it difficult for me to get out of the car but this gives her ample room to get in if we’re taking my car. OR I park closer to the right to give myself room to exit, but this means when we take my car she has to wait for me to back out so she can get in Recently she wanted to pay a $17 upgrade fee on a plane ticket to choose a seat instead of being unassigned. I was fine with it but I noted the flight was relatively short at 80 mins. She said, “Yeah but remember, I’m a lot wider than you so being on the aisle is more comfortable.” The way she said it was so matter of fact and wasn’t negative, more just stating the obvious

I understand the frustration. I have a wonderful partner I love with all my heart, and she’s not into feedism. Ultimately I value her over any kinks so it will never be a dealbreaker, but it can feel isolating to know there are things I’ll only ever be able to engage with online. It’s unfortunate that feedism is unlike other kinks you can leave at the bedroom door. Like, my gal loves it when I’m vocal in bed. That’s a very easy request to fill. Weight gain isn’t something you can just turn on or off when you’re done.

I like my fries crispier than most probably do, so unless we’re dining in I usually take my fries and pop them in the air fryer for a bit.

More of a generational unpopular opinion but I think the de-stigmatization of mental illness has had some adverse effects, like ppl being too quick to self-diagnose themselves due to what they see on social media. i see so much content that’s like “I have these thoughts and do x so therefore i have adhd” and im like you just described a basic thing 99% of ppl do or struggle with. Idk if its some kind of effort to feel special or unique, but the amount of self-diagnosis vs getting an actual, clinical diagnosis from a professional is way out of whack. i know I’ve shown signs of depression in the past, but that doesn’t mean I’m clinically depressed and I would never claim to be unless I saw a professional. Social media creates an echo chamber that weirdly feels like it’s a badge of honor to have some kind of mental illness when I think in reality a lot of ppl are just too online.

Has she also been dieting/exercising? Only reason I ask is these shots are not miracle drugs. 90lbs is quite the loss but most weight loss gets gained back unless major lifestyle changes are made.

Idk how young you are but this community was definitely around in the 90’s lol. It may have been harder to find like minded people and sites like Curvage are relatively new but Dimensions, FF and other forums are well over 20 yrs old. BBW Magazine is no longer in print but it launched in the late 70’s.