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Goodneighbor

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Everything posted by Goodneighbor

  1. The moment I discovered my personal sexuality was the moment I became an FA. While its foggy at this point I truly think curvy, large, powerful women made me understand what attraction was in the first place. This to say its been with me my whole life. It was primal. It was natural. I wasn't introduced to societies beauty standard until well after this and when people started talking about sexual preferences openly it became clear that I was alone in this thinking. I felt a tremendous amount of grief and guilt for feeling like this. Why was I into something that could negatively affect the health of my partner?? Why do I find the combination of food and bedroom to be okay? Even if I don't explicitly encourage my partner to gain, can I really be happy with my sex life is she doesn't feel happy about herself? Why am I such a freak? I've told one partner how I felt openly. I was 19 and terrified. What would she think of me after I tell her? I thought of her as a wonderful and grounding partner and only built up the courage because she was concerned about her weight. IIRC she had a below average BMI and I honestly just thought it could calm her anxiety to know how I felt. I said something along the lines of "I'm attracted to girls of all sizes, like... I like fat girls, and skinny girls.. But, I just want you to know that while you should do what ever it is you need to, to be happy, I'll always love you.. Like.. You cant be unattractive to me... You know??" This was the one and only time I ever spoke up definitively about my preference. Maybe she knew it was a PREFERENCE, because sh*t just got weird. A few days later she started asking specific questions about what I like about bigger women. I told her I like bigger girls and the process of weight gain. Didn't help. Like she judged the shit out of me and I assumed she was being receptive. We broke it off roughly four months later because of something else but I always ask my self if that was a big part of why. So now I really don't know. I've tried to believe my feelings are acceptable but I struggle. I'm aware of the drastic difference being on my side of the picture and that of fat women. I get angry when I see the berating of plus size women, fat women, and SSBBW. I try to be an ally and show that women of size are amazing and freaking royalty but I'm also terrified. I'm happy to have written about this to you all. I now know I deserve a place to be vocal in the community, and hope one day I can be open with my beautiful plus size partner about I feel. I hope I'll find the right arrangement of words that will make her feel seen but not examined, warmed but not burned. I love her for who she is and I only have myself to be blame. One day everyone in my life will know and they'll have to deal.
  2. Not sure how this works exactly so hopefully I’m sending this to the right place🤷‍♂️ just wondering what kind of work you do for your “day job”? as well as What’s your favorite meal?
  3. You’re an amazing, beautiful person. I’ve honestly been enjoying your twitch streams as well and just watching you be you. You shouldn’t feel any pressure to do something you aren’t comfortable with and sharing your journey with us is something you obviously aspire and enjoy doing. It should be in your way, on your time, and at your disposal. I think.. or I hope people will start to realize this. Much love!
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