maela

First hot tubbing of the year! They're stills from a video, so I'm not posing so much as frozen mid-motion. Also apparently I smile less in videos?

I joined curvage in 2008, I think, and at the suggestion of my real-life friend S77. I had always hated my body and felt that I was only attractive because of my thin and pretty face and big boobs, and that anyone who liked me must like me in spite of the rest of my body. He was a good friend, and we talked on the phone for hours, and one day he suggested that I check out curvage. I was shocked at first by the open nudity of fat girls, and it took me a while to stop judging them and start appreciating them. Eventually I even stopped thinking that the other girls were sexy but I wasn't. I had to make a conscious decision to let go of my beliefs that fat was ugly. I was afraid to accept myself as sexy; afraid that I was allowing myself to be a deviant. I wanted to reject anyone who admitted what they liked as if it was wrong, like a taboo. I realized life was too short to live in constant denial of myself and I took the scary plunge into body acceptance. My thread on curvage.com was a map journey showing me at the beginning full of apprehension and disbelief, headless body shots in black and white, carefully edited to be as flattering as possible, and later on really enjoying all the compliments, seeing that the members were not crazy rejects with a fetish, but awesome guys who knew what they liked. I made so many friends, and had so much fun taking pics and sharing them. I chatted with fellow forum members on msn and yahoo messenger, then on skype, and I even went on some dates with local guys. It was the most liberating and awesome time of self-discovery for me. I told my family what I was doing and while they were a little shocked at my boldness, they were supportive because it made me so happy. Oh, and video chat! I don't remember when that started, but it was so fun to hang out with people from all around the world. God, I loved that time!

My favorite foods, oh boy! I'm a very picky eater. I'm also mostly vegetarian. I drink a lot of milk and have whey protein shakes Hot organic medium roast coffee with lots of cream I love pizza with pineapple, black olives, and extra cheese, or tomato and basil and extra cheese Thai Peanut Sauce on deep fried tofu with veggies and rice Fresh organic steamed broccoli and baked yams with LOTS of grass-fed cows' butter and French sea salt Greek yogurt with honey and blueberries and strawberries Spanikopita Pita with hummus and tzatziki Greek fried potatoes with oregano and lemon Spicy salad wraps with avocado, pepper jack cheese, romaine lettuce, black olives, and baja dressing on a tomato tortilla Homemade lentil soup / vegetable soup / tomato soup from scratch (I make the best soups) with grilled cheese sandwiches Chicken potstickers and steamed broccoli with butter and salt, and teriyaki to dip the potstickers Mashed yukon gold potatoes with butter and salt, with green beans or broccoli, sometimes I make cashew gravy Quinoa-brown rice pasta with steamed or sauteed veggies and a vegetable paste/broth concentrate and cream sauce that I make Mmm, it's 1:30 and I'm feeling hunrgy now.

It might...just barely! We'll see very soon.

I will reveal my weight in a weigh in clip soon. I am 5'7" and my bra size is 42"-44" I or J depending on the bra.

Thank you! I love the first one. In the second one it says 2015 but that pic much is older.

I keep thinking I should reveal that in a weigh in clip, but I haven't made one yet! I am fluctuating between 380 and 390 depending on the scale.

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I went to Target today and tried on clothes from their new plus size line by Ava & Viv. It was pretty slim pickings, and I didn't buy anything, but I did get some fun pictures!

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't posted any new pics for a bit. Life has been very overwhelming for me lately. I hope to be posting more pics soon. <3

Wow, thank you for going through my whole thread! Yes! I was in a high-speed / slow-motion jiggle video when Love These Curves was newly launched. I love that video, and I want to do another one! Aw, thank you for the effusive praise.

Noooooo! My pet peeve!

Happy Valentine's Day! (sorry for the grainy pic, it was with my front-facing camera)

Thank you, Chris. My weight has been up and down since I left. I'm currently up a bit.

Oh, thank you!

Thank you! I started on Curvage. First ever pics of me nude were posted here in 2007/8. I wish I still had that thread. It showed my journey from hating my body to becoming comfortable in it, to loving it. Where did you find me, if I may ask?

Thank you. I've never known you to be grumpy!

Thank you very much.

Happy hump day! I took some mirror selfies to celebrate.

Thank you! Much appreciated, McGinty.

Yeah, he'd been cheated on before, so he was gun shy. To be fair, I've never been very interested in following rules or being honest. I pretty much do what I want even if I'll regret it later. It's a bad habit that stems from poor self-esteem (feeling like I have to take what I want because I don't deserve it and therefore no one would willingly give it to me). I told him this about myself, so he had reason to be concerned. I managed to be faithful throughout our relationship by removing temptation. I've done a lot of growing and my self-esteem and confidence are definitely improving. Gosh, I hope this isn't TMI! I'm apparently in a sharing mood tonight. I will try to stick around this time!

Oh, Vennie, you're so silly!

Hi Veelynn! You are looking so beautiful and super cuddly. I'm so glad you're here! *hugs*

Yes, mostly because when I am in a relationship, I want to spend all my time and attention on my partner, but also because my last boyfriend was uncomfortable with me talking to other guys. He was very concerned about cheating, and it was easier to just stop participating in the community.

Yes, absolutely. I've moved back to my home town and I'm helping my mom out as she recovers from chemo and radiation. She is in the clear now, but radiation and chemo took a toll and she's having trouble walking without pain. So I don't want to get a full time job, perhaps a part time one, but I'm absolutely planning to update my clips4sale store and see if I can live on that. For the last couple of years it's earned me about $20 a month with no new content or ads, so I hope with updated content and advertising I'll be able to survive off of it. I am still settling in after moving, so it might be a few weeks. Keep an eye open!