NomNom92

Sorry to bump this so late. This has been a collaborative project between myself and my boyfriend. We've been busy with school but hope to update soonish. Thank y'all for the support And for anyone wondering, I've gained quite a bit (unintentionally of course) since this was written. I'm still not used to being fat, but I figured I'd post a belly pick from about a year ago.

You're too kind. I really appreciate the love. I hope to keep sharing my story. Thanks again

Ch. 8 Regret This whole Walmart fiasco left me drained. In a daze I drove to the closest Taco Bell and bought $30 of food. I ate in my car feeling an overwhelming sense of shame. (Is this what I've become? What is wrong with me?) I couldn't bare to go to another store, so I sadly drove back home. On my way I got a text from Allie. "So excited to see you tonight XOXO!!" (Maybe I can cancel? I mean, we could all hang out once I've lost the weight?) My head was flooded with thoughts, but I ultimately decided not to respond. I pulled off my seatbelt and walked into my home. My mother greeted me, cheerful as ever. "Hey honey! How did the shopping go?" "Terrible." "..." "I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?" I broke down and told her about how I was too fat for the dresses at Walmart and how fat I felt. "I have few dresses that I was going to donate, but I think you'd look lovely in them." "Thanks mom, I think I'm just going to take a nap cause I'll be up late tonight." I lied in my bed and wished I could get back my old body. (I know I will).

Ch. 7 Old Friends I awoke to a text from my childhood friend Allie. "Hey love! I heard you're back in town. A few of the girls are gonna be hitting the bar tonight, and we'd love for you to join!!" I immediately knew that I couldn't show my face to my old friends. I looked down at my (somewhat) newly acquired additional 60 lbs (27kg). Fuck. Maybe, I could hide this weight if I just wore the right dress and did my makeup well. I cried for a few minutes, hating what I had become. However, I pulled myself together and decided I would force myself to go out with my friends. After all, I hadn't seen them in years, and I truly did miss them. After I collected myself, I threw on some pink panties and a bra and rummaged through my luggage to find something that still fit. I grabbed a loose shirt (my old three wolf moon shirt, size L) and pulled it over my protruding belly. Once again I felt like a sausage, my fat spilling over the sides of my panties and stretching the shirt to its max. "There is no way I'm going out in this." I stared at myself in the full body mirror mounted on the door of my room. This was the same mirror that I used to use to put on my makeup and admire my tight ass. All I could see now was my thick cottage cheese thighs and disgusting double chin. As I pulled up some XL running shorts, I reassured myself that everything would be fine. My friends wouldn't even notice that I had put on weight. I finally walked out of my room and my mother greeted me in the kitchen. "Hey honey, how are you feeling today?" Out of nowhere I responded, "I feel fat and disgusting, and I have to meet my old friends who haven't seen me since I got fat." She responded with silence and the saddest look I had ever seen in my life. I suddenly realized that she was on the verge or tears, so I backtracked and mentioned that I was going shopping for something cute to wear out tonight. "I'm more than happy to pay for some new clothes so you feel comfortable. I remember when I gained weight and I felt so hard on myself." (Mom, you're not helping) I sheepishly replied, "thanks," and walked out the door. I could feel my belly shaking with every step I took. I hated that my shorts kept falling down, letting my belly hang out under my shirt. (This was the wakeup call that I never wanted to have) I plopped myself in the car and pulled the seatbelt over my protruding belly. (Everything is fine, I'll just go and buy a cute dress and nobody will notice how fat I've gotten) ------- I rushed to my local Walmart and tried on some shapewear. (I can't believe I have to wear this now). Luckily I found a pair that fit really well (Size XL) and hid my belly pooch. "Fuck, now I have to find a dress." Despite it being summer, I couldn't find a cute dress in my size. I saw a beautiful floral dress that I thought would assentuate my body, but I was shocked to see that they only had Smalls and Mediums. I grabbed the Medium and walked to the changing room. "I used to be a medium and I know that Walmart runs large. Maybe this one will fit." As I struggled to pull the dress over my belly, I once again realized how much larger I had become. I could hear the fibers creaking and groaning the further I pulled it down. I suddenly heard a "snap" and I realized that I had ripped the back of the dress. I quietly put the dress on the rack, put a few dollars in for good measure, paid for my shapewear and left. I felt totally defeated.

Ch. 6 Homeward Bound By the time summer break arrived I had successfully lost 10 lbs! I was still floating around 200 lbs, but I felt like with my extra free time, I would surely be able to exercise myself down to a lower weight. I had accepted that I would probably never be 120 pounds again, so I set a reasonable weight loss goal for 135. Maybe at that weight I could still retain my larger breasts and perhaps keep my ass from getting too small. Admittedly, I was beginning to worry about how my body was sagging. My breasts were still perky and full, but my ass and legs were now turning into celullite messes (my worst nightmare!) and my ass was beginning to sag and lose all the perkiness it had from my running days. All this time that I gained the weight, I loved that my ass retained some muscle tone, and was horrified that I might lose the ass that used to always turn heads during my track days. "I will never let myself become my mom!" I kept telling myself this as I packed up my remaining fitting clothes and prepared to head home for the summer. I told Jack that I would be losing weight over the summer, and he was incredibly supportive. We gave one final embrace, and I could feel him grab my (somewhat) newly acquired backfat, accompanied by a quick jiggle of my belly. I gave him a stern look and reminded him that I was "going to lose weight this summer," and he smiled and said, "Well I'm just enjoying it while I can. I'm sure you'll look amazing when you get back. I thought optimistically of what the summer would bring. Visitng old friends, weight loss, getting a job for some extra cash, and perhaps hitting the beach (once I lost some weight of course). Unfortunately, in hindsight I was probably too optimistic, because I had no idea what was in store for me this summer. ------- I arrived home wearing one of my favorite floral dresses (that still fit). Although my poochy belly made the stomach portion stick out a little more than my breasts, it was loose and flowy, and I couldn't wait to finally see my parents for the first time in two years (we had a mild falling out, but recently we had some nice phone calls and they were excited to see me). My parents were waiting in the driveway, and I enthusiastically jumped out of the car (my boobs and belly jiggling up and down, but that didn't matter, I was so excited!) I immediately gave them both a hug and told them how happy I was to finally see them again. Then I took a step back. " Oh my gosh mom, you look amazing!" "Yeah, I got gastric bypass a few years back, but didn't want to tell anyone untill I saw some results." I took another step back to admire her new figure. She must have lost over 160 lbs!! I looked down at my belly protruding past my boobs in my dress and was immediately filled with shame. I had always been horrified of turning into my "fat mom," but she was now skinnier than me. I tried to keep my cool, but my mother noticed that I was on the verge of tears and said, "Wow! What a beautiful dress!" Despite the nice compliment (I truly know that she is a genuine and kind person), I could see her look at my pudgy belly sticking out, and I began to blush. "How the fuck am I fatter than my mom?" I thought, as I attempted to hide my shame. Nearly in tears, I said, "You know, I'm feeling kind of tired after that drive. I think I'm just gonna crash in my old room if that's okay." My mother could tell I was upset, but she exclaimed, "Of course honey! And you are looking gorgeous today!" That last bit stung because I knew she was just trying to be nice. I had finally come home, nearly 100lbs more than when I left. They were always so proud of there athletic, pretty daughter, and I returned as a fat pig. I felt my parent's eyes on me as I walked into my old childhood room. I flopped my "fat" body on the bed and began to cry. I tore off my dress and bra and just laid there for a second in my panties. Looking down at myself, I couldn't even see past my belly. I was immediately more digusted with myself. I went to my closet looking one of my old, loose shirts to sleep in. I slipped on my largest shirt, and oh my god, it was so tight! I could feel my thick belly and body stretch out the fibers. "Jesus, this used to be so loose on me. What the fuck is wrong with me?" I layed down exhausted, stuffed in a tiny shirt, and grabbed a bag of hot cheetos. "This is my last night of being a fat pig. I'm going back to college in a few months, and by then I will look like my old, athletic self." At least that's what I told myself as I began drifting off to sleep. Of course, I had know way of knowing that was not actually going to be the case this summer. In fact, I was dead wrong. Writer's Note: I apologize for any mispellings and grammar errors. Been writing on mobile and my autocorrect is all messed up (dont know why). But, I hope y'all like my journal so far. I'll keep you posted because there's more to come (eventually lol)

Ch. 5 New Beginnings I woke up craving McDonalds. I aroused Jack and he groggily offered to drive. I went to the closet and found my favorite pair of skinny jeans. They were black, and had been my go to for the last few months. However, as I jumped, jiggled, and struggled to pull them up I realized they no longer fit. My face immediate became beet red. "Have I really gotten this fat?" "There's no way." I then grabbed my favorite pair of running shorts. They were cute with a white stripe on the side, and my ass always looked amazing in them. I struggled to pull them up my thighs. At that moment, I noticed a fresh set of stretch marks running up my previously tight thighs. Before I could even get the shorts on, I ran to the scale. 210 (95 kg). I broke down. I've gained nearly 100 pounds. I cried as I looked myself in the mirror. My belly was beginning to hang with a W shape at the bottome. My thihgs, ass, hips, and belly all had bright red stretch marks running across them. "What the fuck have I done to myself?" "I used to run everyday, and now I turning into my mom." I slowly collected myself, struggled to get the shorts to stretch over my thighs and ass, and asked Jack if he was ready to get some food. I made sure to do my signature wing-tip eyeliner and grab a loose t-shirt (although, I could feel my stomach bulging out of it), and we drove to McDonalds. As we drove, I couldn't help but notice how this shirt that had been previously loose on my frame was hugging my stomach. I could see my belly buttom through this XL shirt, and I couldn't help but feel embarassed. However, that didn't stop me from order 3 big macs, a large fries, and 20 nuggets. I went home, turned on some Futurama and completely stuffed myself. I felt so disgusting. These clothese were loose on me only a month or so ago. "What have I done to myself?" My doubts lessened with every bite. "I'm going through a phase. It will pass, and I will go back to being the tight runner I used to be." Unfortunately, I was completely wrong.

Ch. 4 It Comes to a Head (TW ED) I finally reached my Junior year of college. Not going to lie, I was going through a lot, but quitting track and getting with Jack made me feel so much better. For some backstory, I had an eating disorder when I was 18 in highschool.. I had recently gone through a rough breakup and I was horrified of becoming my mom. I purged myself down to 110 pounds and felt wonderfull. I could eat anything I wanted and still look great. Fast forward three years, and I have become everything that my past self would despise. I had a jiggly belly, bright red stretch marks on my hips and thighs, and a double chin that just refused to go away. I began attending therapy and began to accept myself for who I was. ------ After a night of snuggling, Jack invited me to another party. He had been grabbing my soft sides all night and mentioning how beautiful I was, so I wanted to go to the party and really impress everybody. It was a halloween party, so I knew I had to do something impressive. We agreed on Mario and Peach, so I went out searching for a Peach costume. I had no luck searching at the local thrift shops, so I decided to make the dress myself. Unfortunately, this required me to take my measurements. I'm too afraid to admit them here, but I had grown 6 inches in my wais and 4 in my bust. I ultimately shrugged it off, and made the dress. We looked wonderful. I had a tight, mid-thigh interpretation of a Peach Dress and I dyed my hair blonde to complement my bangs. I unfrotunately weighed myself before going to the party, and I was up to 185 pounds (84 kg). This led me to cry until Jack saw me and embraced me in his arms. I always felt so beautiful when he touched me, and I knew that I was only going to be this big for a little longer, until I can begin running again. The only thing I hated was my double chin. I felt like I had a moon face, with my former jawline disapearing under a layer of fat. Plus, my cheeks that formerly had cute dimples were puffy and made my eyes look smaller. However, with a little eyeliner, I felt prettty confident as I walked with Jack to the party. ------- The first person I saw was Naomi. We hadn't seen each other in a few months and she gave me a look up and down. For backstory, she had always been skinny (about 110) and been jealous of how I lookied when I was on the track team. She sarcastically said, "WOW! You look fantastic!," but I could see her eying my double chin and pudgy belly. Later that night, she ** asked me, "Are you okay?" "No offense but you look really fat." I nearly brokedown in tears. "I don't know what is happening." "Ever since I quit the team, I can't seem to lose any weight." "I feel so fat and ugly, and I nearly gone up to 200 pounds (90 kg). She smirked and said, "Oh well you're still pretty." I thanked her and went to find Jack. He had found some of his friends and they offered me some Taco Bell tacos (of course I accepted). The rest of the night was an inebriated mess, but I know that I drank and ate a lot, and when I came home, I had to take off my dress because my belly was making it too tight. I woke up to Jack kissing me and rubbing my belly. I loved every second of it! Maybe I had been wrong, my belly and big tits did feel really great in the moment. I lolled myself back to sleep as he grabbed my jiggly stomach.

Ch. 3 Changes Although still in my sophomore year, I had just about given up on running. My shin splints were worse than ever and the extra weight only exacerbated things. Every time I attempted to run, I felt heavy, and my stomach jiggled up and down (I felt disgusting). All of my running clothes made ma look like an overstuffed sausage, and even when I wore my largest running shorts, I could see my cellulite and bright red stretch marks above everything else. I envied the days when I had my tight thighs and ass. My lack of exercise made my ass sag, and I was beginning to feel like my mom. "How did she gain so much weight?" "She was so pretty before, but now she has to wear XXL clothes just to hide her fat." "Will that happen to me?" "I don't want to be fat. I will do whatever it takes not to become her." I began cycling since it's easier on the shins. It took me a while, but I found a cute pair of pink cycling shorts (size L). I was disappointed that I was a large now, but I knew it would help me get back to where I wanted to be. I would often go out riding, wearing a black, C-cup sports bra, but I could feel it was getting tight. Meanwhile, I accepted Jack's weird fetish and agreed to get back with him. I firmly told him, "I will not gain weight intentionally. I never want to become my mom," and he happily agreed. He apologized for grabby my pudgy belly and said he would never do it again. The thing is, I actually kind of liked being loved for the way I was. I had never been fatter, but I always looked forward to our cuddle sessions (as long as he didn't grab my tummy). ------- I finally heard back from my coach. They had a freshman runner who would be taking my place. I was still offered a tentative place on the team, as long as I "get my health in order." Hearing this from the coach was the last straw. I immediately emailed him that I will not be returning and basically said that, "You can go f yourself." Oh well. I had a good run (pun very much intended haha). I began falling into my comforts, cuddling with Jack, eating Hot Cheetos and drinking beer, playing Stardew Valley, and refusing to exercise. I mean, Jack likes my body with a little bit of extra fat, why should I worry so much? I've always been skinny. A few extra pounds won't change who I am. So, I continued my college courses and began to take a laissez faire approach to my exercise/diet. I mean, I still looked good. I had to buy some new shirts, skirts, and underwear, but I was still only a large. Despite the weight gain, I was still really proud of my hair. The waist-length sandy brown hair still looked fantastic and it really framed my face in a nice way. I noticed a slight double chin growing, but with the hair, it didn't look too bad. I knew I would lose the weight eventually. I was just going through a phase. I mean, everyone gains a little weight in college. Right?

Ch. 2 Sophomore Year My sophomore year began well-enough. I was still running, and Jack had asked me to become his girlfriend. I stepped on the scale and weighed 135 (61 kg), so I began cutting calories and going to the gym. I still felt amazing, and I was madly in love with Jack, and always enjoyed our cuddle sessions every night. However, I began getting shin splints. My coach suggested that I take some time off and see a PT. While I worked with the PT, I had to stop doing my daily runs. I was fine with that at first, but I could that I was gaining weight due to the lack of exercise. I eventually plucked up the courage to step on the scale and I was shocked that I weighed 150 pounds (68 kg)! I immediately went on a crash diet, but with my lack of exercise it was no use. Within a month I was up to 155 pounds (70 kg), and I felt disgusted with myself. My only saving grace was Jack, who always said that I was, "the most amazing person in the world," and "you'll look amazing no-matter what size you are. I'm sure you'll lose the weight, but you still look fantastic!" Unfortunately, my PT told me that I could no longer run, and would have to take the season off. Not going to lie, I cried myself home that day, but was happy to accept a warm embrace from Jack that made me feel all better. I knew I was in a tough spot, but I would make it through it. Fast-forward a couple months and I was on probation from the track team. The coach gave me a return offer as soon as I recovered, and I was really looking forward to it. Unfortunately, my shins were still struggling and PT was going nowhere. My only solace was my nightly cuddles with Jack. He had never been with a girl before and was often shy, but he made me feel so warm and loved that I always looked forward to the embrace of his arms. One night, we went to a small party at a friend's house. I knew I wanted to wear something cute. So, I went to my closet and began trying on some dresses that I thought Jack would like. I almost began crying when I noticed that none of them fit anymore. I felt so fat, and disgusting, and worried that I was turning into my mom. Fortunately, I found a loose flowing sundress with some stretch to it, but my boobs had grown so much that I had to drive to Victoria's Secret to get a new bra. I got measured, and I was a C-Cup I was disgusted by how fat my boobs had gotten, but I knew it would only be temporary. So, I bought the bra, threw on the dress and some cute winged eye-liner, and walked to Jack's house. I knocked on the door, and when Jack opened it he nearly lost his mind (imagine shocked pikachu face). He immediately embraced me and told me that I looked "gorgeous" (I thought he was lying to be nice). I told him how disgusting I felt, and he immediately hugged me and told me that, "You are the most beautiful, I've ever seen you. Your dress is wonderful and you look fantastic." I hugged him again and I could feel him grabbing my back (he was always a good hugger). We come home, a little tipsy, from the party and proceed to cuddle. As we watch "King of the Hill," I begin to feel him grabbing my newly formed stomach pooch. I immediately recoil and say, "WTF? Are you saying that I'm getting fat? I know that I am, but I thought you loved me." He sheepishly looks away but finally admits that he finds it attractive when skinny girls get fatter. My whole world is rocked. I've spent my entire life trying to stay skinny, and all of a sudden the man that I love more than anything in the world says he likes girls who gain weight. I told him "I need to sleep at my friend's place" and immediately left. I still thought he was making fun of me for growing my pudgy belly. I was in shock. I felt fatter than I have ever been in my entire life, and I didn't know what to think. My friend Naomi assured me that I looked fantastic and was "Not fat," but the thoughts still lingered in my mind. I went to the bathroom to collect my thoughts and noticed a scale. For a second I was apprehensive, but after a second I decided to step on. 170 pounds (77 kg). I was immediately filled with a whirlwind of emotions. "Does he really like me fatter?" "How have I let myself go so far?" "Am I going to turn into my mom?" I felt dizzy. I asked my friend if I could borrow some shorts and a shirt to sleep in. She gave me her largest running shorts and a loose t-shirt, and I fell asleep, confused. It didn't help that her "largest running shorts" were cutting into my sides all night.

I'm writing this to take accountability. I've let myself down, and I want to do better. For the purposes of this journal, I will start at the beginning. For those of you reading, I went from 120 pounds (54 kg) to 250 (113 kg). I feel so fat now, so I'm hoping that writing this will help me to come to accept my new body, or perhaps lose some weight. Everything written is 100% true, and I'm using this as a journal to collect my thoughts. Thank you for reading :) Ch. 1 I remember running track everyday. Throwing on my spandex shorts with a skin-tight sports bra, I was always self-conscious because I knew I'd get looks from the boys up in the stands. I weighed 120 (54 kg), but on my 5' 7" frame it looked amazing. I was happy with my b-cup breasts, they were perky and light (the push up bras I wore to my college courses helped). My ass was firm in my spandex running-shorts and I loved how tight my ass and thighs looked. I always worried about cellulite after my mom gained about 150 pounds (68 kg) when I was younger. Whenever she wore a dress, I could see her cottage cheese thighs, and I swore to never become like her. I continued to limit my diet with lots of carrots and cucumbers, my favorites :) and felt really good about myself. I loved my light, naturally sandy brown hair that nearly reached my waist. I had recently cut it with side bangs and although I never really cared about what others thought of me (at least that's what I told myself at the time), I really enjoyed having my long, flowing hair follow me as I ran. ---- Some time passed, and I made sure to keep my running and diet consistent everyday. College was going well, and I felt really proud of the way I looked. I got up to 130 pounds (59 kg), but most of it went to my thighs and ass, so I didn't really mind. I told myself that if I gained 5 more pounds, I would make my diet even stricter, but overall, I was happy with how I looked. One of the frat houses had a party coming up, and a nice (yet shy) boy from my class invited me to join. I knew exactly what to wear. It was a skin-tight black dress that really perked up my boobs and went down maybe mid-thigh. I bought it from a thrift shop and was so happy to have an excuse to wear it. I really had a crush on this boy, so I wanted to do my best to impress him. I arrived at the party and looked for my friend, Jack. Amongst the inebriated college folk, I finally found him, and I think he nearly lost his mind when he saw me. He was at a lack of words, so I said, "Hey this music kinda sucks, but would you like to dance?" He shyly nodded and grabbed my hand as we walked to the dancefloor. He hesitantly grabbed my waist, and I felt ecstatic! I hadn't danced with someone since high-school, let alone someone I had such a huge crush on. As we danced I could feel him come closer and grab my ass, and I thought I was in heaven. He walked me home and asked me if I wanted to grab a cup of coffee. Of course I agreed, and I fell asleep, partially tipsy, but very much looking for things to come.

Showing off any unreleased before pictures while trying on shorts, skirts, and crop tops that are way too small. Also, talking about how your friends and family have been reacting to your gain. I'd love to hear more about how your sister judges you and how you partner's friends stare at your belly.

Even without makeup you look gorgeous! You're one of the prettiest girls on this site. I hope you and your hubby are doing well