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Anonymous 2578

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About Anonymous 2578

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  • Location Dallas, TX, USA

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  1. Thanks for your input, @high. I agree that taking pictures of people in private is worse, but taking pictures of people in public or in semi-private spaces like a gym in secret still seems bad. My concern isn't really with my own personal guilt here, but with the way that I believe distribution of candid photos hurts women (according to the women feeling hurt) and how this site is enabling that. You can argue that taking photos and not sharing them truly isn't hurting anyone, since no one is affected, even if it's immoral in another way. But once they're being distributed online, I don't think that holds. If you could guarantee that no woman noticed the action and felt unsafe, and that no image put on the forum was ever seen by any woman who feels hurt by the practice, then maybe you could make the argument that it's moral. But I don't think either of those things are realistic. Whether having photos of their body being distributed online hurts women is something I think we may disagree on, but to me, I think that action is hurtful. Until I really thought about it, I didn't see it as such a big deal either, but I think if you put yourself in the shoes of a woman who feels unsafe having her photo shared online without her knowledge, you may come to believe that distributing such photos online is a hurtful act. I'm basing my view mainly on the reactions of most women I've seen online who feel hurt by it. You could argue that despite women feeling hurt by this act that it's still not an immoral thing, but even if that were true, they feel hurt by it nonetheless. I'm not saying that every time anyone feels hurt by something that it becomes immoral. Perhaps most women feel hurt by men discussing how hot they are on an image board. Fair enough. But in the case that the person put their image online themselves, I think they've relinquished their right to how it is used, at least to some degree. But in this case, these women didn't put the image online themselves. So that's why I feel like their hurt is justified. Thanks again for adding your voice to the discussion.
  2. @Lake Terror Thanks for your input. I'm all for showcasing different opinions and people having different preferences. E.g., if someone has a kink for women vomiting, many people might think that's weird, but as long as the material is produced consensually, I don't see any issue with it at all. But to me the line should be drawn at things which are exploitative without consent, which is what this seems to be to me. What do you think about that?
  3. As an example, I clicked a random one of the candid threads and it was definitely the kind of candid where the only point of the candid is that the woman in the photo is sexually appealing. Furthermore, to the point about the forum encouraging the behavior, this is the comment that the user wrote: They may have been referring to Curvage in general, but I think this shows that having a Candids forum promotes the idea that taking and sharing photos is seen as OK or even good by the community.
  4. Also, @senorclean I think that there could be candids which are OK depending on the intentions with which the photo was taken. E.g., if someone took a photo of someone because they were doing something interesting (a street performer, or someone juggling) or for some non-sexual reason and it was uploaded elsewhere on the internet and then that photo was shared here, that would probably be OK. But I think the vast majority if not all of the photos in Candids are photos that people have taken for the express purpose of appreciating curvy women for their sexiness. And that's the behavior that many women feel violated by, even if everyone looking at it has no malicious intentions. But if "candid" images like that were OK, they could be posted in the general areas, whereas I think having a Candids forum specifically encourages and condones the problematic behavior.
  5. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic, @senorclean. I welcome all agreement and disagreement because I think this is an important topic. I want to be clear that my discomfort with candids has nothing specific to do with the size of the women involved. I don't think being an FA is weird (I am one) and I don't think it's wrong because it's taboo. I think taking and posting the candids wrong because many of the subjects being photographed would feel violated if they were to know. If it was a photo of a building or a plant or a cat, a reasonable person wouldn't consider that sexual. But I think a photo of a woman showing her shape, esp. in tight clothing, shared to a forum for appreciating her sexually, has to be considered a sexual candid. If however the photo was taken for other purposes, that would be different, but I've seen very few candids that weren't taken for the express purpose of appreciating the woman's body (and face). To me, even if someone is just sharing a photo that exists somewhere else on the internet, the problem is that by re-distributing that image, we are compounding the negative ramifications of an unethical act. If the subject of the candid sees the photo and has no problem with it, then I don't think there's a problem. But given how rare that is (has it ever happened?), I think it is more sensible to ban them outright. You are right that more women who are annoyed by this are more likely to respond, but in my readings of discussion on this topic on Reddit or elsewhere, I have seen responses from neutral to negative, but never positive, and the majority were negative. It seems statistically likely that there are women out there who like being photographed and appreciated this way, but I haven't come across any of them yet. Without knowing how someone would react, it seems like the default response should be to assume they will feel violated. Also, although they're not an upskirt shot, I think photos of butts, especially in semi-private places like gyms, come dangerously close.
  6. @LorenzoStink Thanks for the support and for sharing your own struggle. I agree with you that it's immoral as well, but at least in that case, I think there's a good chance your fiancee wouldn't be upset about it, as long as you weren't sharing them. That's not to say it can't be bad, but it's definitely better than taking photos of strangers, where most would be upset. In the past, I looked at the candids sometimes too, and only later realized that I was taking advantage of an unethical action. Sometimes even then I felt that a photo went too far - e.g., the gym photos always seemed more inappropriate than a photo taken outside from far away - but nonetheless I didn't always resist the urge to look. It's all our individual responsibility to be the best people we can be, but let's not make it so easy for people to do the wrong thing. I think that having a forum for candids implicitly encourages this behavior. I've seen some people say they are glad that there is a separate forum so they can avoid it, but I think it makes the problem worse overall, because it calls attention to it, both to users and producers. And unlike photos that are never shared (which are still bad), I think having the forum featured like that causes a produce-consume cycle where producers are taking more photos than they would have otherwise because they like the responses they get. I don't think the people taking the photos see any harm in what they're doing - perhaps viewing it as just appreciating women who are underappreciated - but it is harmful. Sometimes we get so caught up in doing things that we don't take enough time to stop and think about what we're doing. I encourage anyone participating in the photographing or viewing to do some self-reflection to consider if that's really the person they want to be. The desire to not feel guilty about something can drive people to excuse it, but I'd much rather feel guilt and shame than continue to contribute to something that is inconsiderate to others.
  7. I used to look at Curvage a long time ago, even back when it was called fat-celebs. At that time, I was just a young teen, and what I saw on this site made me feel not alone with my preferences. That was a positive. But it also seriously warped my views of what was OK. Curvage has always seemed like a community of fairly decent people, so when I saw candids on the site back then, my reaction wasn't one of being creeped out. It was one of "Hmm, I guess that's OK. After all, no one seems to be complaining about it." I hadn't ever seen anyone talking about the morality of the practice elsewhere, and it's legal in most places (exceptions include South Korea and Algeria), so at the time, it seemed OK. As I grew up, I stopped looking at Curvage and went on to other things. But that normalization of candid photos stuck with me. A few years ago, when I was going through a very rough patch in my life and in my relationship, I took some candids of attractive women I saw out in public. Most were blurry and far away, but twice I even took a photo of someone in front of me in line. I always deleted the photos, never posted them anywhere, never fapped to them, and eventually stopped on my own due to the shame. To my knowledge I was never noticed, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have been. At the time, even though I felt embarrassed doing it, I didn't see it as wrong, in large part due to the fact that it was so normalized on here, and on some other sites. But years later, after reading about women's feelings on this issue and realizing how wrong it was, I feel guilt and shame about that behavior nearly every day. The pain I feel on a daily basis for doing this is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. And since I can't apologize to the random strangers I saw, I want to give my deepest apologies to the women of this site. I didn't get how it was wrong or hurtful at the time, but I get it now, and from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. Currently, Curvage allows candid photos. And not just photos of people on the street, but photos of people in the gym, or on a train, or in other places where there is an elevated expectation of semi-privacy. It's not illegal but I think it is unquestionably morally wrong. I used to think that if no one noticed, that no one was getting hurt emotionally or physically, so it made it OK. And maybe if the photos aren't posted anywhere no one is getting hurt. But someone doesn't need to be hurt for something to be morally wrong and hurt society at large. And actually posting the photos does hurt people, especially if they find out. If you're doing something that would make the person involved mad at you if they knew, and not because they're unreasonable, but because it's reasonable to be mad, then what you're doing is wrong. I think for many guys, having their photo taken unknowingly because they're seen as attractive would be flattering. (I know for me, that's how I would view it.) But the majority of women, maybe the vast majority of women from discussions I've seen, do *not* feel this way. With that in mind, taking photos is wrong. And posting those photos online goes one step further. It allows guys from anywhere to admire or fap to photos that are clearer than any they could recreate in their mind from the memory (folks with photographic memory aside). Just knowing that these candids exist here probably makes women feel unsafe going out into the world. Because if it's happening here, it could be happening anywhere. I can't take back those actions that I feel bad about, but we can stop a new generation of guys from making this same mistake, and we can stop allowing women to be viewed over the internet without their consent. In summary, I strongly plead with the Curvage admins to delete all of the material in the candids board, close that board down for good, and ban posting of candid photos on Curvage. Along with candids, I believe that photos of significant others taken or posted without their knowledge should also be banned. If you agree with this course of action, please add your voice here so that something can be done.
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