ES-Draws

Do you want to feed them? Or do you want them to feed you? There are different approaches you can take depending on that relationship. If you identify as a feedee, I doubt your partner would judge you at all. They are already open to kinks, and they clearly already find you attractive. And you’re not asking them to change anything about themselves. You can just say “I think it’s really hot when you touch my belly” or “I really like the idea of food play, eating is actually really erotic to me.” Things like that are really easy for folks outside this kink to understand. Start simple and see how they respond, and use it as an icebreaker to talk more about feedism. If you want to feed your partner, the same thing applies. You don’t want them to change, you’re not asking them to become obese for you, and they’re already receptive to kinks in general. I’ve had a lot of success just saying “You know, I actually find bellies really attractive” or “I love sharing food with you, it’s kind of a love language for me.” Keep it simple and relatable and I’m sure they’ll understand, and then use that as a jumping off point to share more.

Sexual compatibility is only one part of a relationship, but it's an important one. Can you be happy being with someone if you can't indulge your kink? I don't think there's a right answer here, it comes down to knowing yourself and what you need to have a fulfilling relationship. But this is the real red flag to me: Honestly, it sounds like your gf might not be the right match for you. For me, living life, sharing interests, and just being personally close to someone are huge parts of my relationship. It made me realize our connection was more important than just being kinky together. If you're not getting what you need, there's no shame in realizing you need a change. You'll both be happier for it in the long run.

I don’t understand why I have a feeding fetish either. And I’m sure most people would ask me “what’s attractive about making someone fat.” I don’t have an answer to that, other than to say it’s just something that’s a turn on for me. So even though I don’t have a foot or blueberry fetish, I’m in no place to judge why people like them. They probably feel the same way about their kinks as I do about mine. I won’t sugarcoat it, I hate this argument. I hate when people assume fetishes come from neurodivergency or mental disability. It makes it easy for people with “normal” attractions to paint having a fetish as being mentally sick or broken. And it makes it seem like being attracted to something abnormal is the result of having a problem. That it’s *wrong* to like something others don’t.

I think it comes down to connecting with the right person more than anything else. Believe me, I had (still have) all the same concerns you have about sharing this kink with someone. But I've learned that if you have someone that really connects with you, they'll at least be understanding. They might not want to gain, sure. But the right person will care enough to try to make you happy. My partner has all those issues (self-confidence, body image worries, fatphobia), but me telling her about this kink actually helped her with that, rather than hurt her. And I think that's due in large part to her knowing she's loved and supported. Yeah, I was really really anxious about it. I didn't know how to bring it up, but one night we got to talking about our turn-ons and such. I ended up asking if she had any kinks first. That really helped, and she opened up about a few non-vanilla things she liked. That made me more confident to talk about what I liked, since she already felt welcome and comfortable sharing some private stuff. To start, I just told her I had a thing for bellies. She was super open and encouraging about that, and I was able to open up a bit more about gaining and such. Like I said, she was way more supportive than I expected, especially given her history of body-image issues. From there, it was just natural to start incorporating parts of this kink into our sex life. Mind you, it's not all perfect. It's not like she all the sudden became my personal feedee. She's not gaining intentionally, and she still get's anxious about her weight. One night she'll comment on how much bigger she's grown, and the next she'll be sad that she doesn't fit in her jeans. But she wants to be confident in her body, and she loves knowing that I still want her and find her attractive. I guess all that to say, it might never be perfect, but it can be a whole lot better than we expect.

I agree with Danger’s take, they put it perfectly. Coming out with it right away can put someone off, and waiting too long can make you seem untrustworthy. Build a relationship where you can trust and understand each other first, and then open up about your interests. I’ve only told two partners, my ex and my current partner. My ex reacted like you said. She was put off by it all and had no interest in engaging, and we never spoke of it again. It made me never want to introduce people to it again. But later I realized that I was terrible about how I introduced it to her, and I was too young and awkward to realize how to talk about sex and kinks. And she wasn’t the greatest partner either… it was a perfect storm of me being immature, not having a good relationship, and not being good at communicating. It could not have been more opposite when I told my current partner. She was genuinely *excited* about my kink. She said “Wait, I could get fat and you would *like* it? Are you literally perfect?” She was understanding, empathetic and totally willing to try things. I never asked her to gain, but she’s put on some weight regardless out of comfort and happiness. Now she’ll tease me about it, show off her belly, let me feed her, and really everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It completely changed my perspective on introducing this to someone. I guess all that is to say that don’t discount introducing this to someone. I think my current partner reacted so well, in part, because we have a strong relationship with great communication, and we genuinely care for each other. If your relationship is strong, I believe you can have the same experience too.

Peanut Butter and Nutella. Each one has about 100 calories per tablespoon. Try putting them on things like bananas, apples, or cookies, and you can easily eat close to 1000 calories in one sitting.

She's still pretty big and has quite a bit of flab. She was probably pretty overweight/obese before losing the weight. Can't name an exact number without knowing how tall she is, but probably 50-75 lbs at least. Her thighs are still pretty thick, she's not skinny. Pregnant woman who get this belly shape tend to only have softness around their middle, and not around their thighs and hips. A little bit in the stomach, but it's usually not as significant. With pregnancy, you usually just have excess skin. When you lose weight, fat cells shrink but don't go away, so you're left with that more "doughy" figure.

For me, chubby bodies alone are 8/10 hot, and weight gain is 10/10 hot.

That’s a belly that’s gotten a lot smaller than it used to be. It’s a lot of “flab” that comes from excess skin left over from the weight loss and shrunken fat cells. All the separation you’re talking about is just the bunching up of the tissue that’s left, but there’s not a ton of fat beneath to fill it out and make it round or firm. You get this belly shape from either losing a significant amount of weight or sometimes after pregnancy. Based on her body shape though, I’d guess she was significantly bigger and lost most of the weight.

Completely agree in regards to overall fat distribution. I mainly was referring to how a belly looks when someone gains quickly, which seems to show a pretty common trend regardless of overall body type. Very round and stretched at first, little weight elsewhere on the body, dimples often seen at the upper belly and hips. Here are some examples of models who I've see it with (Smashmellow, Reiina, DreamGainer, for reference) Of course! Linked below, as well as the hyperlink in the OP https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3396439/

Mine, but in a different format! And further customized because I'm ✨extra✨ (and because I'm showing this to my partner and wanted to specify all the things I really enjoy, not the ones I don't) Blank copy included for anyone else who wants this version!

And finally, just to drive the point home, here's an animation:

To continue with the point above, I wanted to highlight how someone grows when they gain weight fast. This is mostly anecdotal, but is tied to observations I've seen with those who gain irl, in combination with the science shown above. And I wanted to do my best to illustrate it. Let's talk about slow gains. When weight comes via a slow, steady gain, it has time to settle and expand. The body slowly fills, widens, and softens, so you get this gentle transition from thin to chubby to fat. But gaining weight fast is a whole different experience. It's like the body doesn't have time to catch up. A stuffed belly stays rounder, fuller, tighter, even as the fat begins to pile on. Taut skin shows every inch of expansion, especially the overstretched bulge of an overfilled stomach. The weight gathers at the middle while the rest lags behind. For a while, it's wholly, unmistakably clear that they're fattening before your very eyes. In the end, the result is always the same. The ultimate growth cannot be avoided. The body fills and thickens, any firmness swallowed by layers of plush fat, until only pure, indulgent fatness remains.

Hi folks! I have been doing some research on various topics around weight gain. What's the best way to get bigger? Where will weight settle when you gain? Does how fast you gain matter? I'll be sharing some of my findings in this thread, starting with: If You Gain Faster, Does It Go to Your Belly? For those impatient readers, the answer is… Yes! Rapid weight gain does indeed go to the belly! Let's start with some definitions. What types of fat are there? There are generally two categories - subcutaneous and visceral. Subcutaneous is the fat we all know and love; the soft fat that forms just under your skin, and is most commonly associated with the appearance of being "fat". This fat can form anywhere on the body, and is generally considered to be the healthier kind of fat. Then there is visceral fat, which is fat that accumulates deep in the abdomen behind the muscle layer. This kind of fat leads to a "ball belly" or "apple" shape, where the midsection is rounded but also firm, since fat is under muscle. Visceral fat surrounds organs, and for that reason is generally considered to have higher health risks. Next, when you gain weight, what normally contributes to where the weight will go? There's a lot of research that shows this is mostly determined by genetics and sex. What foods you eat, what exercises you do, and other environmental factors contribute little to where the weight goes[1]. In general, people tend to gain more subcutaneous fat than visceral fat[2]. So now to the question at hand - anecdotally among gainers, it's said that if you gain weight quickly, it will go to the belly. Is this true? Turns out, a study has already been done on this very subject. Let's talk about the Science™. 23 subjects (15 men, 8 women) - all of whom were relatively thin (23.6 BMI) - were placed on an "overfeeding interval" of 8 weeks, where they were given 400–1200 extra calories over their normal intake. This was done in the form of ice cream shakes, snickers bars, or boost meal supplements[3]. In particular, this overfeeding period is similar to a lot of the rapid weight gain methods used in the feedism community. Participants were weighed daily, and body fat was measured at the beginning and end of the study. Body fat was broken down into 3 categories; visceral fat, upper-body subcutaneous fat (fat around the midsection), and lower-body subcutaneous fat (fat around the butt and thighs). Here are the results: on average, subjects on average weighed 158 lbs to start, and gained around 8 lbs over two months. On average, they gained 1 lb of visceral fat, 2 lbs of lower body fat, and 4.5 lbs of upper body fat. What does this mean? It means that during rapid weight gain, over half of the fat gained goes to the belly. But importantly, it goes to subcutaneous fat - the fat directly under the skin that we associate with soft, jiggly bellies. Very little went to the visceral fat associated with firm, round bellies. Anecdotally, this seems to correlate with what’s commonly seen with rapid weight gain in the feedism community. Most gainers, especially thinner gainers, tend to notice rounder bellies when they first put on weight. But this weight also tends to be soft - often times, gainers can still squeeze and squish their midsection, which seems to prove fat has built up just under the skin. Later, once they've gained more or the weight has settled, the fat may distribute more evenly over the body. Again, this is just anecdotal. But the data seems to support what we see! There are still some things this study does not answer. There's no data published on sex differences, for example. There are almost double the amount of men compared to women in the study, and men are known to gain more upper body weight compared to women. Men and women may have gained the same way, or differently - we cannot tell from the published data. Also, while subjects were on average at a healthy BMI when the study began, we know that BMI is a flawed metric. It does not mean they were all thin. Some may have been overweight, or may have gained weight or lost weight previously. These factors might also contribute where weight is likely to settle, and we cannot infer from the published data alone. And though this study shows that gaining weight quickly will lead to belly gains, it doesn’t answer why. For this I have a theory, but that will have to wait for the next installment of the Science of Weight Gain™ [1]There's research showing sugar-dense and high-fat foods leads to more visceral fat gains, but proportionally this is very small compared to genetic or sex factors. [2]Men in particular are more likely to gain visceral fat (see: beer belly). [3]This study sounds like a feeder's dream and it gets my blood up just reading it. How do I become an official Science Feeder™?

Yes I have a feedist meme collection. No I do not have a problem.

I agree with this, almost like the chicken vs. egg argument. Which came first, the fetish or the "trigger?" Many of us remember a moment where we first realized we like this kink. Like, seeing a particular tv episode and feeling a strange attraction to it. For me personally, I don't think that trigger necessarily causes the fetish, but instead, it makes you realize you have the fetish. This isn't the case for me really. I've been attracted to the same body type and the same aspects of this kink for nearly 20 years. Which, in my case at least, makes me more inclined to believe that the fetish is innate rather than learned.

Irl, I always tell people not to compare your relationship to anyone else’s. Because what makes people fulfilled in their relationship is different depending on who you ask. My parents, for example, have a 25+ year excellent relationship, but I would call them partners more than lovers, or even friends. I know couples that still have passion as if they just met, even after years together - but the only time they spend together is in the bedroom. Still other couples spend every waking moment together on hobbies and family life, but admit they don’t find their partner all that attractive. And yet, all of them seem to have happy, successful relationships. For me? I’ll admit this fetish is a huge part of my life and my sexuality. But still, how much of my life is that really? What about the rest of my life? I want someone who cuddles with me when I wake up. I want someone who will ask what happened in my video game over dinner. I want someone who will go try out that new Thai place with me. I want someone who wants to talk about the meaning of life. I want someone who will hold me and let me cry when Dad dies. My partner doesn’t have this fetish. She indulges me and explores it with me, but I still find myself wanting for more. But you know what? Of all the things I want in life, my fetish is the only thing I don’t have with her. And even then, she’s curvy as all hell and likes to tease me that I’ve given her a bit of a belly. Who am I to complain? What more could I really want? For some people, sex can make or break a relationship. If that’s you, there’s no shame in searching for a partner who shares your kinks. Some might be lucky enough to be a feeder and be in love too. Just consider what’s important to you, and what you want outside the bedroom. Imagining that life with someone might make all the difference.

To play devil's advocate, why is this fetish being innate any less valid than other attractions? No one demands an explanation why it's common to find thin people attractive. Or why it's attractive for men to be tall and have a thick head of hair. Or why some people prefer blue eyes over brown eyes. Intimate attraction isn't questioned unless you like something outside the norm. Then people wonder what went wrong with you. I agree, I think it's different for everyone, and where the attraction originates probably falls on a spectrum. I also think there's a myriad of different ways people can get into feedism and weight gain. It's never going to be one specific root cause - like you said, sexual attraction is innately incredibly varied.

I had the same question! Probably my number one question with this kink. I've done a lot of research, and what I found is that we really don't know where fetishes come from. Psychologists are split into two camps - it's either something you develop and learn, or something that you were innately born with. Some research suggests that fetishes are developed in childhood, and are learned through exposure to specific scenarios and instances that end up "triggering" a sexual response. Like Pavlov and his dogs being conditioned. The most common example here is spanking - Freud and those that subscribe to his theories believe that spanking during childhood leads to sexual urges for spanking as an adult. With feedism, I've heard people say that being exposed to fat admiration at a young age triggered their kink. Listen to Fat Bottomed Girls to hear how a fat naughty nanny can cause you to enjoy big butts. But many psychologists now believe that fetishes are innate. There's some prominent research on foot fetishes that shows that the neurons for feet and genitals are close enough to overlap. But just like how we once thought that homosexuality was a learned behavior, it is now much more commonly believed that sexual preference is something people are born with. The precise cause can't be easily found neurologically, but it seems likely that someone can be born being attracted to things that others don't. As for me personally? I have always found weight gain attractive. I can think of no life experience that triggered or developed this kink for me. And I know many, many other feedists who say the same thing. So my money is on the "born this way" hypothesis. And as a final note, I think we should be wary of the "fetishes develop in childhood" theory. Why? Then it becomes easy to say that this fetish is something that "went wrong" with you. You were exposed to trauma around your body weight, that's why you have this weird kink! You had an ED and body issues - see? It's all just a mental problem. Your feedism fetish is just another disorder. You should get therapy so we can "fix" you. Sounds a bit like how they used to treat LGBT folks, don't you think? For me, I'd put my money on fetishes being mostly something we are born with. But I'd be curious to hear other people's experiences, of course!

Are there more feedists now? Probably not. Is dating a curvy woman more acceptable? Absolutely. Beauty standards have changed. Being thick and curvy is now considered socially desirable, where in the 90s and 00s, it was absolutely not. Hell, Cindy Crawford was considered "fat" in the 90s. Many women in this community will tell you that growing up in that era sucked, because being anything but rail thin was considered too big. It was the era of heroin-chic and low-rise jeans, where a stick-thin body with zero curves was what was considered beautiful. Now? It's all about hourglass figures and bubble butts. You can thank the Kardashians for that, I guess, but also the emergence of body positivity and non-white beauty standards becoming more normalized. Remember "I like big butts and I cannot lie?" That used to be a controversial stance. Now, the Brazilian Butt Lift has become the hottest plastic surgery trend. What's really interesting is how our culture responded to this. Beauty trends changed, and so did what guys like. It's like as soon as it became cool to be curvy and thick, then guys started liking girls who are curvy and thick. Many in the 00s who wouldn't bat an eye at girls over size 0. Now? Guys brag over how big girls butts and boobs are. Having a fat ass is something to brag about. Being thick is a compliment, not an insult. To answer your question, I don't think guys are becoming feeders now. Big bellies are still not desirable. Even plus-size models need to have flat stomachs and hourglass figures today. Guys don't want their girls to get fatter. They just like big boobs and big butts when they didn't used to. Still crazy to think that what people like can be influenced so strongly. But this fetish is still a fetish, and that was never going to change just because of Kim's giant butt.

Great survey! Would love to see the results! I would also be happy to share the link, if that would be helpful!

Probably not. It's prescription only. It's not a miracle drug. Most people lose 10-15 pounds on average over a year. It's only meant for people significantly overweight - people smaller than that won't get it But I've said it before and I'll say it again - even if it was a miracle drug, who cares? I'm into people who want to be fat. If I were with someone who was only fat because they couldn't lose weight, and hated it, I would hate it too. That's not fat admiration. That's trapping people into being fat against their will. If Ozempic helps people be thin, great. I'm happy for them. They should get the body they want to be in. Meanwhile, I'll look for someone who is happy being fat. Someone who chooses to gain rather than to lose. That's what makes them happy, and that's what makes me happy. So don't worry about drugs that make you thin - instead find someone who would never want to take Ozempic anyway.

Sounds like she doesn't want to be uncomfortably full, which is fair. Here are some options if you're looking for quick gains without stuffing: Don't drink water. Drink things like juice, soda, milk coffees/teas instead. This easily adds 300-500 calories a day without changing how much you eat. Go for high calorie snacks like pastries and nuts. A muffin for breakfast instead of toast can add 400 calories easily. And a handful of cashews is 100 calories. Little snacks go a long way. Have ice cream or milkshakes as dessert. You don't need a ton - one scoop is 250 calories - but it will add up. In general, the faster the gain, the more calories you need a day. Shakes with cream and sugar are the easiest way to get those calories. But if that's still too much, just add food in small ways here and there. The snacks and extra calories will add up.

Despite my doomposting above, I think the silver lining is that this isn’t always true. I think a lot of fat people would be ecstatic to know that they are loved. I mentioned above that society finds it bad, if not downright wrong, to be fat. But how is that fair? Being fat is not a crime. Being fat does not harm someone. It’s just seen as wrong because most people don’t find fat attractive. And believe me, society is downright cruel to those it doesn’t find attractive. So imagine you’re fat, and someone tells you that they think you’re hot. Not just hot, but downright sexy. Not *despite* the fact that you are fat, but *because* you are fat. Can you imagine? It’s weird to hear something so strange, sure. But someone *wants* you. Someone *values* you. Amidst a sea of shame and dejection for being in the body you have, there is someone who genuinely, earnestly loves what you have. Everyone deserves to be loved, even for the parts society doesn’t love. Does liking something unloveable make fat admirers bad people? I don’t think so. I think there’s a stigma, and a lot of shame that both fat people and fat admirers need to overcome. But I think it’s all the more wonderful that we can provide a glimmer of hope to fat folks in a world where being unkind is the expectation.

Even if your husband isn't into feedism, you know what he will be into? You being confident in your body, and getting you really turned on. As a guy, I can say that the hottest thing someone can do is be confident and excited when in the bedroom. There are things my partner likes that I swore I wouldn't be into, but seeing how hot and bothered it makes her makes me get hot and bothered about it. Now I want to do all those things with her just because I know it gets her going. Nothing is more attractive than having a partner who is enthusiastic about being intimate with you and showing off their body. So! My recommendation would be to lean into this with your husband. When he plays with your hips and belly, show him how much it turns you on. Tease him by telling him how sexy it is to you. Hell, tell him just the thought of him touching your softness makes you want to take him to bed. I guarantee that, even if it isn't his own kink, he'll be so excited to know that he's turning you on that he'll be into it anyway. From there, just start making it a normal thing to talk about your desires. Talk with him about all the things you like, and what he does that you enjoy. Share some fantasies - some of the relatable ones to start - that you imagine him doing with you. Let him know how much you love it all. Creating that dialogue will make it easier to find healthy ways to explore your kink together. And I know that sharing your excitement will get him excited too!