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Fantasy WG: The Tale of Emperor Basil the Fattener


Guest Sulla67

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  • 3 months later...

( Old wizard smokes pipe full of "herb")

The legends of the dwarves are shrouded in rock.  Not shrouded in mystery.  Rock.  For you see the dwarven race was bourne from earth and to earth they may return someday.  But they were here before men.  Thousands of years before.  Possibly and most likely tens of thousands. 

They had fire before us.  Not discovered through trees and the elemental force of lighting but of earth.  Deep dwarven cities were warmed by the liquid heart of this world.  As were their ovens.  Ovens that have baked dishes that mankind has still never seen, harvested from lichens and gems that were still living, not the dead things that they take up to trade with us.  Only they know how the juice from a sapphire feels as its liquid heat burns down ones throat....aye, they've been baking for hundreds of years more than us.

I ve heard tales of their women too.  Not the dwarves from neighboring Krynn of course.  The first dwarves had one  love and only one.  The mountain.  The earth spirits were their first loves and each dwarf holds some of that love within them. 

and of course lad.  Mountains are gigantic.  And heavy.

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Dwarves have allways been fond of ale.  One of their brews was once made of actual poppies before they eventually figured out the addictive properties of what turned out to be a liquid opium.  But they are addictive enough on their own, each carefully brewed cask aged in custom carved nices.  Their other brews can be aged for thousands of years. 

The dwarven constitution however is more than up to the challenge of the inebriating qualities of their most popular liquids.  Most dwarve races prefer vintages that would blind most humans permanantly.  Skullsplitter was once thought be be a legendary weapon and was quested after by hundreds before eventually recovered from Smaugs lair...and that turned out to be a single cask of legendary quality mead.  Unfortunatly most of it had eaten through the cask and and the stone beneath it.

One could say that a hobby of the dwarves would be to see how drunk they can convince the other races to become.   

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  • 3 weeks later...

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