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Am I out of place?


redadan1

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I love this community, I think I registered my first account about 12 years ago and I have regularly been lurking ever since (not posting as much as my English was pretty bad when I first joined). 

One thing always bothered me and still does. I love women of all sizes, I like BBWs as well as SBBWs and in general I truly love women showing their confidence at a bigger size, that's true both in virtual life and irl. 

I'm also really turned on by women adding weight and by stuffing videos. But... And this is what triggered the question, I'm really turned off by gain shakes, forced feeding, funnels and I don't get as turned on by women in pain because of much they ate. On the contrary, I like thinking of women that gain weight because they just have a big appetite or a big body to maintain. I don't enjoy weight goals or gaining weight for the sake of it, but I day dream of women eating a lot in front of me and surprisingly still being hungry. 

Yet, most of this niche seems to enjoy the weight goals/funnels etc. So I'm just writing this post both to share my doubt, but also to ask whether there's anyone else that shares these thoughts with me and if anyone knows of clips or models who do that kind of stuff. 

Don't get me wrong. There's no judgment here at all, it's really a matter of what's hot to me. 

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Glad to know I'm not the only one... Yet it seems this is the audience most models appeal to. 

I don't want to judge as women can do what they want with their body, but especially at certain levels the objectification of their bodies in our community is evident.

I've seen comments some times here that have made my skin crawl. 

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3 hours ago, FitGuy123 said:

There's one model right now consuming 10k calories a day and people are encouraging her. She can barely move.  She can barely move because her organs are stressing to cope.  Very dangerous, the posts should be deleted.

 

 

 

If they are eating that much of their own free will because they enjoy it, what business is it of yours? If you don't like it, just move along. Generally, models who present themselves as feedees on curvage do so because they are in to it, even if they are of a size larger than your personal preference.

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8 minutes ago, bluetech said:

If they are eating that much of their own free will because they enjoy it, what business is it of yours? If you don't like it, just move along. Generally, models who present themselves as feedees on curvage do so because they are in to it, even if they are of a size larger than your personal preference.

I did move on, but I saw this post and responded in agreement.  Nothing to do with my size preference, in fact this model is very attractive to me.   Regardless of personal preferences, obvious self abuse should not be encouraged.

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Folks, we're treading close to kink shaming here. It's okay to not share preferences with others in this community – I think the differences in tastes are fascinating, frankly. But let's not turn that into critiquing or judging those preferences we don't share. Like others said, I don't believe it's our place to say what other consenting adults do with their bodies.

I'm curious, is it the dark side of feedism that you're not into? Like, coercive, non-consentual kinks? Or pressuring models to eat more or get bigger than what they'd like? And just objectifying feedees in general? Because yeah, that attitude is shitty, and is totally worth shaming. And also worth pointing out that people outside this kink can share this problem too. Objectifying and pressuring models is not a problem unique to feedism.

Or, is it that weight gain shakes and funnel feeding are a personal turn off? Which is understandable. From what I've seen, that seems to fall into the sub/dom sub kink that often overlaps with feedism. It seems there's another side of feedism that's closer to pure fat admiration - and admiring the beauty of fat might flat-out conflict with coercive weight gain.

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oh well... first of all. i think you are in the perfect place. now... there are several roads to take. to me? definitely the pleasure picture leading to gain weight is the best however i understand and find some joy in intentional gaining for sure, specially because after some point it is somewhat necessary if you really want to get bigger and to live it. now... for example the i need to eat an amount of calories to -x- i find it, i can understand the counter argument, how does that makes us different from the skinny guys that like their ladies on a strict same calorie counting diet? that i understand

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  • Curvage Model
13 hours ago, redadan1 said:

I love this community, I think I registered my first account about 12 years ago and I have regularly been lurking ever since (not posting as much as my English was pretty bad when I first joined). 

One thing always bothered me and still does. I love women of all sizes, I like BBWs as well as SBBWs and in general I truly love women showing their confidence at a bigger size, that's true both in virtual life and irl. 

I'm also really turned on by women adding weight and by stuffing videos. But... And this is what triggered the question, I'm really turned off by gain shakes, forced feeding, funnels and I don't get as turned on by women in pain because of much they ate. On the contrary, I like thinking of women that gain weight because they just have a big appetite or a big body to maintain. I don't enjoy weight goals or gaining weight for the sake of it, but I day dream of women eating a lot in front of me and surprisingly still being hungry. 

Yet, most of this niche seems to enjoy the weight goals/funnels etc. So I'm just writing this post both to share my doubt, but also to ask whether there's anyone else that shares these thoughts with me and if anyone knows of clips or models who do that kind of stuff. 

Don't get me wrong. There's no judgment here at all, it's really a matter of what's hot to me. 

I think you are in the right place. Kink isn't a one size fits all type of deal and I'm sure there are many like you here on Curvage who may favor one niche over another. There's so many sub-kinks within this community- eating, weight gain, vore, expansion, mutual gaining, breeding, pregnancy, and more... the list really could go on forever. Some of it will appeal to you, some won't and that applies to everyone here. 

I, for example, am super into forced feeding and I've indulged in it a lot in real life. But at the same time - I've never been in a situation of forced feeding where I still wasn't in full control. If it gets to be too much, there has to always be an option to tap out. I'd never engage in that activity with someone who I didn't trust to respect that. @ES-Draws makes a good point that a lot of this stuff can sometimes intersect with a sub/dom sub-kink. BUT I also like a softer version of weight gain as well... just being comfortable with your appetite and the weight piling on more naturally/subtly. There are actually SO many people  out there who prefer a softer version of feedism and weight gain. It sounds like that may be more of what you're into. Some people (like myself) may enjoy a balance of both.

I spent many years trying to understand this part of myself and what ended up making the most sense to me was this - Feedism is a spectrum. Some will fall on the more extreme end of it, some on the more mild end, and some will land right in the middle. As you grow more confidently into desires, that spectrum will ebb and flow the more you experience it. 

Overall, I think that it's just important to always remember that everyone here is just exploring and learning. It's a diverse community. You are definitely in the right place and it's nice to see someone being reflective and respectfully asking questions. 

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Thank you for your thoughtful answers. I agree with your view about the spectrum that is involved in a kink.

To answer @ES-Draws, I think it's a bit of both. I think on one side I'm battled, I like a chubby girl and I like the idea of gaining weight, I do have health concerns and fear for obsession that may turn into self-harm, but I also believe we've had enough men telling women how to feel and what to do... So I'm definiy not here to judge, and I believe any kink, no matter how disgusting it may sound to anyone, has a place and space, provided that there is full consensus and, like Casey pointed out, Absolute and full control at all time.

However, it's also a matter of personal taste I guess. I like the idea of the woman eating food and enjoying it, so particularly shakes or funnels take away the beauty for me. I never thought that could actually be a sub-topic of sub/dom. I'm not into that at all, so I guess not having that pleasure removes whatever interest there could be. 

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20 hours ago, bluetech said:

If they are eating that much of their own free will because they enjoy it, what business is it of yours? If you don't like it, just move along. Generally, models who present themselves as feedees on curvage do so because they are in to it, even if they are of a size larger than your personal preference.

People enjoy doing heroin it doesn’t make it awesome to cheer them on for it

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Guest Hell Kaiser

I think OP highlighted why the type of content mentioned will never be seen as mainstream. Things that can be seen as self harm will never be accepted as good or ok by public opinion. As far as legal as future legal action against this type of stuff, I couldn't predict with accuracy, but I think curvage has been lucky that it hasn't been in the mainstream spotlight too much.

For your own question, I don't think you are out of place. If you don't want to encourage models to gain weight, and you just want to appreciate them for how they are, I'm sure they would appreciate that. I'm not even into gaining weight, and I still enjoy scrolling here. The slogan of the site is "because curves are sexy." As long as you find the people on here sexy, there is no reason to feel out of place. I would suggest just ignoring the stuff that you don't like, but if its too upsetting for you, then its understandable why you wouldn't want to be here.

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I'm someone who thoroughly enjoys things like forcefeeding, diet control, stuffing, etc. but the problem is that many people who enjoy giving it do not understand the real-life implications. For me, it is strictly kinky playtime. It's informed consent. It's something discussed ahead of time. Trust and rapport built with respective play partners. It's also deeply intertwined, for me, with my love of dom/sub power dynamics—but only with people who actually know what they are doing.

I have serious issues with many so-called "feeders" who do not recognize the line between play and real-life. That's what makes it off-putting. Because it's no longer fun, it is truly abuse, objectification, and in cishet settings, outright misogynist. I have the same problem with FAs who refuse to date anyone who wouldn't actively gain for them. If the inverse was true—not dating someone unless they kept a trim body above all else—it would be recognized for the disgusting behavior it is.  It's more or less the feedist version of the porn-sex model: getting their kink/sexual education from this kind of content and expecting to replicate it all the time in real life. It's disgusting, to me, to hear people rattle off these fantasies that you aren't sure they are even aware are fantasies of like "I'm gonna cram 3 dozen burgers into her gut and then wash it down with 20 gallons of slop!" without reading the room. It is disgusting and is a mockery. And unfortunately is the loudest voice in the room.

For feedees and gainers that engage in this way... well, chances are it's one of two things. The first is that it's a persona they put on to sell content, which I have no objection to. It is what it is, if it's not my taste and no one is getting hurt, cool. But as someone who lived most o my life with varying degrees of eating disorders... I recognize similar behavior when I see it. And I 100% believe that there are feedees and gainers out there who are not into it because of the kink, but because they have an eating disorder. And unless you can tell the difference, yep, it's going to make people side-eye everything.

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  • Curvage Model

I get how you feel, I am one of the only people who doesn’t like the idea of thin or fit looking people gaining weight. I only like guys that have been chubby since they were kids. There have been guys I’ve found attractive that are chubby/fat now but if I see a photo of them thin, especially in high school it is a boner killer beyond words. I like weight gain but I’m not attracted to thin people so they have to start out chubby at least. Not the same thing you are talking about really but I’m just saying that I get feeling like you’re the only one (I actually think I might be)and feeling out of place. But I believe that there is a difference between a fetish and a preference. You can have both, but since my preference is big guys that’s what I like regardless, but when I fantasize or write it’s very much about the fetish. I guess the best way to say it is that the fetish part gets me aroused but I don’t even want to cuddle with a thin guy.

There are just so many takes on this and ways people think and motivations that there is a wide spectrum.  If you are ok liking something non mainstream in the first place don’t let it bother you that you don’t like what everyone else likes here either. Easier said than done because I get pissed off about stuff I see here all the time, I’ve just come to realize that there is usually someone enjoying each side of it, from all the models I’ve met they are actually into it and enjoy what they are doing.

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Guest Hell Kaiser
On 1/20/2023 at 7:42 AM, FitGuy123 said:

There's one model right now consuming 10k calories a day and people are encouraging her. She can barely move.  She can barely move because her organs are stressing to cope.  Very dangerous, the posts should be deleted.

 

 

 

To be completely transparent though, this thread and this comment has made me self reflect, and I think that I will delete my account within 24 hours. I feel the slightest bit responsible for what is happening to this person by participating in a website that encourages her to become immobile. I am not comfortable with the darker health implications of stuff like this, and while I do love admiring the beauty of the women on here, the kink that is so widespread about wanting models to get super fat and unhealthy is very disturbing to me. I think its awesome to find someone beautiful at any size, but the sub/dom encouragement of being unhealthy is something I don't like. Mainstream BDSM and sub/dom relationships are a bit different to me because most of what i've seen is largely unrelated to the health of a person, but the things that happen here are not. Even if it is consential, I can't support someone encouraging another person to be unhealthy. Being unhealthy itself isn't the issue I have. I don't think we should police what people do and I don't judge people for their choices, the same way I wouldn't judge someone who is taking heroin; however, I am not in a community of people cheering on others to do heroin. Its the cheering on and support of becoming more and more unhealthy that I find personally unacceptable. That's the dark side that I cannot in good conscious continue to complicity support and why I will be deleting my account.

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  • Curvage Model

I love this dialog. I’ve been with curvage for a year and am still learning so much about the community & myself. I think sometimes it can be hard to walk in someone else’s shoes, especially in extreme spaces. Societally I think we can be rigid and afraid to move outside of moderation. My husband loves it all. He is turned on at the thought of me gaining more weight. I’ve been so brainwashed to think it’ll make me unattractive that it took a year of becoming “unconditioned” to entertain the idea more and more. Separating our actual thoughts from what we’ve been conditioned to think is very hard. As time has passed, I’ve found myself more aroused in those extreme spaces. That’s something that surprised me over time. The bigger, the fuller, the sexier. Seeing someone genuinely in their joy with their kink is just😮💨

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It's always a matter of perspective, context and self-awareness. I know I'm beating the same drum as many in this thread in saying that this community develops through experimentation or with more words than one, exploring and learning. What I'd like to add though if it's not mentioned already, most of the effort here as a member is towards understanding ourselves and what tickles our fancy so to speak, then it's the context in which we prefer or feel comfortable with exploring said fancies in. Then ultimately it all builds up to a general perspective, how we all individually view this community and its intricacies as it hosts to a big variety of kinks and orientations.

With all that in mind it's not unusual at all to find yourself asking critical questions, to feel out of place or to even be uncomfortable here as that's the product of a truly diverse community that caters to many a kind. That's why I find wildly tossing out the term 'kink-shaming' is very counter-intuitive, most of the time it provokes an argument and prevents a constructive discussion from taking place that can in the end bring about a mutual respect at the very least, even better a mutual understanding.

For content we're never going to see ourselves being comfortable with, Curvage has the luxury of being hosted on a forum software that allows for a lot of personal tailoring and what I mean by that is you can directly control the content you get to see. The particular kinks, fantasies, models that you vibe with can be all you'll have to see if you set it up that way.

In the end it's just understanding that this is a hub for a variety of tastes, that has to be respected at the very least.

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7 minutes ago, Synthesis said:

That's why I find wildly tossing out the term 'kink-shaming' is very counter-intuitive, most of the time it provokes an argument and prevents a constructive discussion from taking place that can in the end bring about a mutual respect at the very least, even better a mutual understanding.

This is key. Kink-shaming means something specific: "I don't like this kink for this reason, and if you do, you are a bad person."

Saying "I don't understand this part of a kink as it does not appeal to me, but I can explain why I personally do not like it" is not kink-shaming and allows for discussion and hopefully, understanding.

Edited by Lora_Dayton
clarity/format
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Definitely agree with what everyone has said here! @Curvage Casey made a great point about feedism being on a spectrum, and I think there are many different facets that are worth exploring. We all fall under one giant umbrella in a very broad kink and fetish community.

And like @Lora_Dayton said, they key here is informed consent. If there's a coercive side of this kink that you are into, then everyone involved - yes, even models who you purchase content from - must consent to that as well.  Telling or forcing someone to eat or gain against their will is never, ever cool. 

But then there's this, which - not to harp on the whole shaming thing - is what frustrates me:

On 1/20/2023 at 12:08 PM, bluetech said:

If they are eating that much of their own free will because they enjoy it, what business is it of yours? If you don't like it, just move along. Generally, models who present themselves as feedees on curvage do so because they are in to it, even if they are of a size larger than your personal preference.

 

7 hours ago, Plumpnesslover said:

People enjoy doing heroin it doesn’t make it awesome to cheer them on for it

People who enjoy eating too much = people who enjoy doing heroin? Both are worthy of judgement, according to this reasoning?

Seems a whole lot like shaming to me. Yes, health is a serious topic in this community. But there has to a better way to discuss this, especially when you're talking about someone else's body.

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1 hour ago, ES-Draws said:

 

Definitely agree with what everyone has said here! @Curvage Casey made a great point about feedism being on a spectrum, and I think there are many different facets that are worth exploring. We all fall under one giant umbrella in a very broad kink and fetish community.

And like @Lora_Dayton said, they key here is informed consent. If there's a coercive side of this kink that you are into, then everyone involved - yes, even models who you purchase content from - must consent to that as well.  Telling or forcing someone to eat or gain against their will is never, ever cool. 

But then there's this, which - not to harp on the whole shaming thing - is what frustrates me:

 

People who enjoy eating too much = people who enjoy doing heroin? Both are worthy of judgement, according to this reasoning?

Seems a whole lot like shaming to me. Yes, health is a serious topic in this community. But there has to a better way to discuss this, especially when you're talking about someone else's body.

I think there’s quite a difference between enjoying eating too much and encouraging somebody to eat until they’re incapacitated every day. Let’s not be obtuse 

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Guest Hell Kaiser
45 minutes ago, ES-Draws said:

 

 

 

People who enjoy eating too much = people who enjoy doing heroin? Both are worthy of judgement, according to this reasoning?

 

Certainly this is not a good comparison statistically. I’m on my phone rn and don’t have the links, but a more accurate comparison in terms of health risks and average decrease in lifespan is lifelong smoking. The data that I researched found that the risks of those two are about equivalent. Those studies for obesity were for individuals above bmi 40 for reference. BMI can be an inaccurate measure but this is just a rough equivalency. But yeah encouraging people to become obese and encouraging them to become an everyday smoker should be roughly equivalent.
 

Judgement no and never. Many people smoke and many people are above BMI 40, there is really nothing wrong with that if it’s someone’s choice. I do like to encourage healthy lifestyle for people I care about, but if it’s their decision to not do that for whatever reason that I might not understand, that’s all there is to it. While I respect a person’s decision to make their own personal choices, I cannot respect others who want to encourage people to become more and more and unhealthy and to celebrate becoming more unhealthy. Within consent, I accept that there is nothing legally wrong with this, I just cannot wrap my head around it from a personal perspective. I also accept that models themselves can gain a great deal of pleasure from this process and thoughly enjoy themselves.
 

What I really don’t understand is why the source of pleasure has to be this thing that causes serious health problems. For me, food is just one pleasurable thing on a list of equally awesome things, and I don’t understand choosing food to such an extent to risk your longevity and quality of life. But I don’t know if I can step into someone else’s shoes more than this to understand. Is it the case that some people’s brains are wired to value food so much more than other things that this sacrifice becomes worth it? I accept that I probably don’t understand the motivation in the slightest. To me, if I did it, it would be self harm, that’s probably why I am uncomfortable with it, but again at the same time I can’t see into someone’s shoes clearly enough to really understand what is going on.

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48 minutes ago, Hell Kaiser said:

Certainly this is not a good comparison statistically. I’m on my phone rn and don’t have the links, but a more accurate comparison in terms of health risks and average decrease in lifespan is lifelong smoking. The data that I researched found that the risks of those two are about equivalent. Those studies for obesity were for individuals above bmi 40 for reference. BMI can be an inaccurate measure but this is just a rough equivalency. But yeah encouraging people to become obese and encouraging them to become an everyday smoker should be roughly equivalent.
 

Judgement no and never. Many people smoke and many people are above BMI 40, there is really nothing wrong with that if it’s someone’s choice. I do like to encourage healthy lifestyle for people I care about, but if it’s their decision to not do that for whatever reason that I might not understand, that’s all there is to it. While I respect a person’s decision to make their own personal choices, I cannot respect others who want to encourage people to become more and more and unhealthy and to celebrate becoming more unhealthy. Within consent, I accept that there is nothing legally wrong with this, I just cannot wrap my head around it from a personal perspective. I also accept that models themselves can gain a great deal of pleasure from this process and thoughly enjoy themselves.
 

What I really don’t understand is why the source of pleasure has to be this thing that causes serious health problems. For me, food is just one pleasurable thing on a list of equally awesome things, and I don’t understand choosing food to such an extent to risk your longevity and quality of life. But I don’t know if I can step into someone else’s shoes more than this to understand. Is it the case that some people’s brains are wired to value food so much more than other things that this sacrifice becomes worth it? I accept that I probably don’t understand the motivation in the slightest. To me, if I did it, it would be self harm, that’s probably why I am uncomfortable with it, but again at the same time I can’t see into someone’s shoes clearly enough to really understand what is going on.

The situation we were talking about was a girl eating 10k calories a day for a month. That is in no uncertain terms bringing yourself closer to death. 

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Guest Hell Kaiser
3 minutes ago, Plumpnesslover said:

The situation we were talking about was a girl eating 10k calories a day for a month. That is in no uncertain terms bringing yourself closer to death. 

Accurate, I was focusing on the entire discussion of encouraging gaining weight, but that example is ridiculously dangerous.

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