just sharing

[extra_m13]

It is January 1^st, 2023, and I have come to the realization that I have been part of the community for at least 20 years, and I have received so much that it is only fair that I give some back. Even if it doesn’t mean a thing to anyone, I’ll share some. At least once a month. I don’t guarantee quick or proper responses if there are any kind of comments. The purpose will be of course to share, to let go, and if anyone can learn something by reading these, all the better. A brief introduction may come in hand, I’m a 37-year-old Mexican, married for almost 10 years and with two beautiful children.

When did I recognize my self as an FA? I have said this on some threads here and in other sites, but high school was definitely the starting point. I was after Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Yasmin Bleeth and Melissa Joan Hart, which were notably curvier than your regular Hollywood, and it was only later that I discovered PlumpPrincess, CurvyDreamer GainingGoddess and LargenLovely, which is an awesome group if you think about it, 20 years later. It was very simple, watching a lady eating and eagerly gaining some weight and showing off her curves, rolls, belly, softness, cellulite and else, made my dick explode, you cannot argue with the facts. So immediately I was off to find my girl.

The first attempts were more successful than you would think. The girls were not skinny to begin, and they were ‘ok’ with letting go off the diet even if it was temporary. The problem was me. I had the idea that I could turn any girl into curvydreamer and make them gain hundreds of pounds just because my dick says so and I was plain and simple, mistaken. But I learned a lot and I somehow shaped my preferences and my flirting in a different direction or so that is what I think now as I went off to college and met my 2^nd serious girlfriend. Beautiful, sweet and with a very healthy appetite, as the first one, she was bottom heavy and with a slim waist and I was hoping to change that.

I must I was more successful than I deserved, she got some amazing hips, chubby arms and cellulite to dream for at the tender age of 20 years old, the potential was definitely there but I was so intense and aiming for short term goals. But winning elements were there, one summer we got into a gaining competition, I won, and I was very pleased with her results, not with mine, but it was worth it. Discovering some things does not always gets a positive feedback, I am a fan of eating but not really of gaining myself and I perfectly understand when the lady says it is just not for her but I was not to be deterred so I insisted until the chain broke off and I was single again on to my next round, or 3^rd serious relationship, defining these as the lady you have more than six months and that you get her to know your mom and else, that is serious stuff.

The 3^rd lady was older than me, shorter as well, 6 years older, beautiful lady, at 5’1 she was a bit more than a foot shorter than me and considerably lighter. She herself was a fit one, and the beginning was pure passion but it may have been a losing proposition from day one, I should point out than even there I was able to make some considerable progress. Still, there were two main lesson from all those years. First, do not make it the center of you relationship, even if she gains it, you will fell a bit empty. Second, first go after the already chubby with tendency to gain weight lady, put the odds on your favor. Of course, the figure the looks, the wits, all that is important as well, but you need to begin from somewhere, and that was exactly what I was set out to do now.

[extra_m13]

There is one very important thing to keep in mind, life is right here happening in front of us. Time is the most valuable thing that we have simply because there is no way to recover any minute back no matter what you try. In that sense, don’t who short the relationship, if you feel sure that it is not with that person, you should move on. Personally I have been at the 2year barrier (my barrier) when time came to decide to take it further and I usually ended up going in a different direction. So this time I was ready to make things better and to make a better use of my time. First lady in line, beautiful and chubby green eye lady, big butt, small tits and chubby arms with a nice waist and a fantastic smile. Super pretty and fortunately super soft as well. Sadly, super boring. I could have easily gone for another two years but what was the point?

It was a very difficult decision because she was a dream. Soft everywhere, white as milk, pleasant to be with and to hold, cellulite in the right places and the kind of girl that probably, left to its own devices, would tend to gain weight with the years. But it was just not meant to be, conversation dried off very quickly and we turned to movies when it was not the time to do so, Domino’s was always on my side however, the signs where there from my point of view, it was time to keep looking and try not to go back.

By now an old fling appeared, 10kilos heavier and looking fantastic but also very much engaged, as you get older it is not that you have to get engaged but you do need to date younger people or you’ll find yourself meeting people on the second time around, an uneven match. To be fair I meet another lady at the time, green eyes, short and chubby, around 1.54mts and weighing 55kilos probably, with strong legs and bottom heavy, pretty face and fun to be with, I was more than intrigued and when we went on the first date she showed a very hearty appetite which caught my interest. That was the kind of situation I was looking for and the interest was mutual.

It was a very intense dating, plenty of restaurants and every time I was more than intrigued how this young little lady could eat at least the same as me. We got to a restaurant and order a pizza and went slice by slice and it was fantastic because besides watching her eat I was of course thinking this should lead to marvelous weight gain in some time and if we imagined years of that the gain would be seriously impressive. Things went from fun to intense to fast and during this time I did go out with some other ladies which is not something I am proud of but is definitely in the vault of the past and it may worth a couple of paragraphs here.

One is (still) a beautiful brunette, stunning smile and black eyes that light any room you can imagine. Fun to be with I am sure a great human being. Funny enough, the were a couple of serious problems from my perspective. She was too into religion which was going to be a real issue down the road and probably even a more serious one, she was really into crossfit and while she had a fantastic figure I just wanted to avoid this same battle, I sensed it was going to be terribly difficult to turn her into SSBBW Brianna so I think I walked away at the right time. There was another lady, a classic Viking, from Sweden, tall and beautiful but too thin and too far and to sporadic so we had a nice month or so and we both moved on. Giving place to a third lady, beautiful smile sweet face and barely chubby but with a really soft middle section, she worked in a bank so anything she ate would go straight to her mid-section, the power of sedentary jobs should not be overlooked even for young people. All was going well however a decision needed to be made, I was really struggling managing the agenda and the budget and there was another lady, which was much better suited for an FA like me. A coworker I have been lurking for a while, pretty face, skinny arms and legs, no ass but…

[extra_m13]

3rd, corresponding to march, but found sometime so. here it is.
 

We were we? I know… a fantastically obese mid-section. With the heaviest boobs I have dealt with and a protruding belly that made feel almost anxious to grab it. We went on a date, we kissed and I enjoyed it all. We went to the movies and had to climb a couple of stairs, when we got to out sits she was breathing heavily which was very hot of course to me. The strategy now commanded that you needed to get the word out fast, that you liked big girls and that you will celebrate and encourage any gain, if you lose then, not much is lost, but if you lose after years of dating then it is a tragedy, so we talked about it and there were some encouraging signs. If not for the distance that would have come to separate us I think there was plenty of potential for a fellow FA.

Now, as this is planned as a year long series it may be time to move on to the next chapter. My lady. After much deliberation and a sudden presentation, I meet a lady much to my delight. Short, at 1.54mts or (5’1) and a healthy 55kg with a bottom heavy figure which always interests me. Beautiful and very important, with a superb appetite, you could say a foodie in more acceptable terms. We go out, and I saw a lot to like. I have written about it, I prefer the 120pound girl going 150 than the 620 going to 590, it is the joy in the eating and the resulting gain that takes the trophy. Also, I prefer the relaxed gain versus the compulsive depressive eater that gets heavier than she is aware, that is not cool nor sexy.

Here it looked like we have a winner. We visited pizza places, burger joints and she showed no restraints to the point I was more than intrigued. I wondered, she, being that tall, keep eating well, there is no way she doesn’t gain over time. We ate about the same every time we went out, including dessert. But me being a foot taller, feeling full after it, she should be feeling very full and that was and is super sexy. That was full pleasure and while I was also thinking in life, not just in my dick having a good time, this looked like a great spot to be in for the long haul. We hit it off and enjoy it all. During the dating period she gained around 5 kilos, up to 60 which made her definitely curvy and we were having a blast to be honest. So why not, I proposed.

Things went into turbo speed as from first meeting we went to fiancé status and gained some and set a wedding date all in about a year. To this I should add some background about her and her family, which like it or not it is always a factor in how our lady will react after a gain and how she will process some changes through time. In this case, it was a mixed scenario. Family was not very fitness oriented, there were no runners or sporty types and usually every gathering and celebration came with plenty of food and a license to eat freely at least here. However there was and still is a culture of fatphobia very extended in the family, specially from her dad and that was not easy to detect or to predict how it will affect in the next couple of years.

For her, never really fat, just chubby at times but always struggling with body image. Not really into sports but a regular on the gym and a regular with the nutritionist, always looking for the next magical diet and seeing fatness as a very bad thing and seeing being fat as a way to the purgatory a place to be lonely, ugly and unwanted by society. Those were the struggles that were to come in the following years but in the meantime. Arrangements for the wedding were in place, no restraints were imposed, and she even ordered the dress a bit bigger just in case, not the usual fast diet to look thin even just for the day so the times were good you could say that. Entering the marriage door at 62kg to put a number, life would come fast at us and in less than a couple months she would be already pregnant, which was of course, much to the liking of my dick and the FA that we have inside of us but would also lead to unforeseen challenges.

[sconesy73]

I'm really enjoying so far. Please continue 😊

[neo]

Keep going… I really enjoy reading! 🙂

[extra_m13]

Where was I? Oh yes, an FA cannot ignore life, and sometimes life reminds us of that fact. We were newlyweds, barely a month into our forever ever and she was pregnant, it was not planned but we never expected it to happen so fast, baby was due in December and there was no time to lose. The pregnancy went fine but she developed a few kidney stones and had an episode of acute fever due to renal infections, so the doctor recommended extra care. That made us put her health first during that year, which was year 1/9 of our marriage. Baby was born in December, everything went fine, gain was not monumental but there was not a real effort to avoid it or to lose it so a good 20pounds stayed for good and that is really the ideal for a FA, slow steady and ideally permanent gains.

 

The fact that gains came slowly, it was a monthly appointment so a pound here and there when it was perfectly expected and while she went from officially overweight to obese judging by BMI alone no big fuss was made, on that front it was a fine situation. Ideally a delicate balance must be kept, a too rapid gain can backfire and prompt an immediate effort in the opposite direction. In this case, life kept going. The times were busy as there was a simultaneous moving to a different city and a flush of emotions, ladies tend to be really emotional at the worse time. A new born, while a perfectly normal event still shakes every family as it absolutely changes the way you use to live.

 

Life is real and a newborn puts the FA in the backseat, this was mostly a year with all evolving around moving, finding a new job, taking care first after the mom, then after the stillborn because you begin to buy stuff way early, diapers, clothes and all kinds of unnecessary stuff to treat the baby as the most precious little thing which is of course a mistake but being a first parent we didn’t know better. Days at the hospital went fine, you have a lot of help and because the bill is growing by the hour you want out without really considering the implications of going home with a recently c-section mom and a few a couple of days old, a dangerous combination but one you must go once or twice in your life.

 

During the first weeks you should forget some pleasantries of life such as sleeping and having a quiet time with your lady, forget about nice dinners and watching a series without interruptions. The cry of the baby is designed by thousands of years of evolution to wake you immediately and do whatever it takes to make it stop, unfortunately sometimes you are just awake cheering for the mom to do her stuff. Of course, I could write plenty about all the joys involved, as common the event is, it is also unique for every father and it is always a miracle to see a new life and to be so dependent on you, human b**s are no good for the first couple of years, you received the same care and you ought to be there but your baby if you are aiming not to root in hell.

 

First year of marriage also presents plenty of challenges, settling in into married life, getting into some kind of routine, equilibrium, it is not easy, and during all that time the FA in you is always alive and wanting more. In a way, website like Curvage and many others, I do think help us to deal with whatever it is happening in our life that we can’t control. No gain can go on forever, it has physical limits, no model has gained ever, even for the darkest of reasons, there is always a limit so finding and living the joy of a lady sharing her gains in a community like this is a refreshing and calming and I do think it eases the pressure on the lady that we have in front, on the contrary of the common opinion that it is all wrong. This, of course, cannot be openly discussed with the lady as the response would be a furious and negative one.

 

The table was set however, for another complicated year, a new home, across the country, baby on board, plenty of challenges to surpass, ideally as a family. The FA in me would need some refuge in places like this and other websites, I am forever grateful to all the models that share her gains, and their boyfriends who are living the dream, for most of us it is a constant battle. Society has grown fatphobic for sure, at all levels, personally I do not think the opposite is the way, forcing everyone on a different path is the same, but that it should be an individual thing, like you sex preference, your body, your decision and that’s it, we of course pose a challenge to that because we always want our ladies fatter, our pennis does at least. But I will write more about that in May23.

[extra_m13]

Sometimes we talk in terms of years, specially when we are old. I am not even forty but now I have the right to speak in decades when talking about memories and about years as if they were so many to count… and at the same time, a year is not something that goes by quickly. You can move down and up a bit to the sides and end up about in the same but with plenty of learning and experiences and yes, one year older as well. The first year with our newborn was probably something like that. My wife’s weight did not change much but it was a very busy year.

The good news is that the pregnancy weight became a permanent fix thus creating a new baseline which is the best scenario for a pregnancy, no weight loss happened, even do there were a couple of efforts but sometimes those kind of changes bring a new perspective about how we and them look at life and the best conclusion is to say well yes I am a mom now and I am supposed to be a bit bigger so we can continue with our life. Except it wasn’t nearly as smooth.

First came a period of depression, I of course, do not understand it, you just have a new baby, you are supposed to be happy but post partum depression is a thing and it happens and it happened and it is very difficult to deal with because the meme is no joke, you are not a genius by saying to the emotionally drained new mom to be ok, so that created a couple of very trying months that pretty much put everything else in second place. Looking back I think she will agree that it was just dumb but when emotions run high they tend to run in unintended directions.

On the positive, it is one thing to enjoy eating, it is another to look and feel a bit heavier and it is another, a different level, to not fit into clothes and going out to buy bigger clothes. Shelving the former thinner self in a time vault from where it is not likely to be ever seen again. That is the holy grail for an fa, when a new baseline is established and everything that it implies. No longer under 60, now it was no longer under 70kg and with that, at 72kg she was with a bmi of over 30, officially obese. On that front I was delighted, hoping for more yes, but also, not really pushing.

Pushing for weight gain in a long term relationship can only end bad. If the is against it, conflict will arise and you will likely push her into a dark corner for us… attacking you of endless things. Not wanting her to be healthy, focusing only on her looks, using her, not looking at what is really important and while she is at it you can surely be accused of being a weirdo and totally crazy, she will possibly say that you want her ugly so no one else looks at her. So, nothing good.

On the other side, if she agrees, at least at the beginning, or cooperates in a submissive way but without really being into it personally then… you will create a dangerous cycle in which you will inevitably demand more with time. Generating a delayed and furious response or simply creating a very unbalanced relationship  that probably wont fulfil you over the long term. Nature says that, the submissive relationship will extend to other areas and it is usually not sustainable especially when stuff gets real. So a positive response to I want you to gain because I say so, eat this and have this, have another slice, have some more ice cream can be super exciting in the short term and basically the dream to every FA in the mid and long term it will create plenty of problems.

This time around I was patient enough not to push, not to demand nothing, just to be supportive, stay close and yes, tell her that you like her, that you wouldn’t change a thing, that the weight is not important and living and enjoying life at full speed. Which was the correct approach because things were about to get a bit fast and furious.

[extra_m13]

 We all have this self-image and at times we fall behind and get surprised by some changes. Ladies are particularly susceptible to that, either by age, weight, or some other factor. There are as well some important milestones that awaken their inner Victoria secret model. If the lady grew up hearing fat was ugly and sickness, you will likely never get that totally out of her mind. This was a year of battle on that front. When she got to 75kg she was officially the biggest of the family, I know it is not a huge weight, but for 1.54mts being obese and heavier than your dad, mom, sister, and brother can generate some noise for sure. Especially when you can no longer use the excuse of the baby to gain, clothes were not fitting and all that combined generated another diet attempt.

This was a bit more serious, nutritionist involved, the injections as well. Given that she is resistant to insulin and with hypothyroidism it is not that easy for her to lose weight, but effort was done with… in that case, the keto diet as well, she lost about 8kg and after a period of stress she came back to earth, opened the gates… only a few diets are really sustainable in time, side effects are not nice after a couple of weeks, sure you lose weight but you also feel like crap and you breath smells and your digestive systems tells you by every means possible that it is not ok with it.

To get really fat or fit, you need consistency. When you are neither you will likely go up and down, will a tendency to gain with time probably. Fortunately for me as the year was drawing closer to an end she ended the diet and ate freely, ended up the year about the same weight and while the FA in me did not win, I did not lose either so it is a result that I take every time, the loss was nor permanent and she was still hovering around her max weight. The thing is, if you gain form 60 to 65kg no one will tell you a thing, but if you gain from 55kg to 75kg you are likely to draw comments and very few will be positive especially if you come from a fat hating family.

But in any case and more importantly, you will feel definitely different. It is a notable difference and it was not muscle, it was mostly fat. On the hips and legs mostly, but fat nevertheless. So there… as FA’s we must take a sit back and understand that this surely feels awkward for the lady, she can feel a lot of things and mostly negative. There could also a sense of losing control and thinking well it is not how much I weight but the gain rate that makes them think were this would lead in a couple of years? Something must be done, so when this get fit efforts result in a temporary loss, that is a huge win for us. That may be another argument in favor of slow steady gains, as they likely to be easier to be accepted and processed rather than a 20kg in a year gain that will surely generate some alarms.

How did she gained? Habits, personally I don’t know how she does it but she can have breakfast at noon, a light lunch a bit later and then a monumental burger with fries and a soda at eleven pm. Or after dieting she would have days of gluttony, where I could barely keep the pace, I would remain full for days, just making an effort to keep up, so she could continue to eat. I would say… order the same for me as for you, guarantee of stuffing. Or, order whatever you want and we will share, fatties at heart tend to order way too much food and then you can raise the no waste argument and both will end up stuffed. Order a large pizza for two people and she will end up overeating, do that often enough and wonderful things will happen.

Personally, I did gain some but was able to maintain, which in time generated some tension because she noted and did directly say, hey, you should gain as well, you are too skinny and I just keep gaining. Couldn’t argue with that, at 95kg she was slowly coming closer to me at 75kg, and there was still more to come, but that will be for the first days of July. Thank you for reading.

[extra_m13]

We are in 2018, this is a year per month post and the idea is to get to 2023 by December. The year before the pandemic, 3 full years into our marriage and she at 1.54mts hovering around 75kg which was obese by any measure but she carried it so well, lower bottom, wide but curvy, strong in a way and with a relatively thin face. The problem? And there are always problems, most of the time she was not a happy fatty and sometimes, you cannot really isolate one part of the relationship from any other. Sure, it is great to go out and have pizza and beers and fries and dessert and even go back home very full, kiss her on the way back, help her unbutton the jeans and let the belly free but once you are home, even after very good sex, you do have to deal with life.

Problems at home created so much tension we basically were separated but a couple of months and while she did not lose weight, I wasn’t precisely enjoying as I could our relationship and her curves. She was maintaining weight but getting softer because exercise was not part of her routine, for me, all was good, you have got to focus on the long term. I can accept a year without gaining, as was the case, as long as the good habits are being reinforced and in this case was, celebrating everything with food, no exercise and slowly getting softer and on occasions accepting buying a size up, a slow but very positive trend because every time a size is discarded for a bigger one, that is a big win for our team.

Personally, I was playing it on a very coherent theme, in my perspective at least. You look hot, you are no where near fat, you are just curvy and those are some very nice curves. We men are after curves, bones, who would be interested in that? There is nothing sexier than watching you enjoy life freely, whatever that means, if that means eating a burger and a milkshake and large fries on a Tuesday then so be it, life happens so fat, why wouldn’t be do our best to enjoy? You do try to level down some of the usual barriers that society has imposed in a way. Dress size is precisely that, just a non important number, the important thing is that you are just comfortable and ready to enjoy the party.

All this did manage in a way to continue the upward trend… about exercise? You cannot be opposed to it because the optics are horrible. Reality it’s not on your side either, and with the gains there come some things that are more difficult to ignore than just outgrowing clothes, you in any case it is preferable to have an active lady and that means walking at least a couple of days a week, whatever that means. What else happened? Nothing much, when free and happy she ate it all, it was amazing to see her appetite at full display and to think if only, if only she would be set free and recognize how much she really loves to eat, great things could happen here.

Personally, I was there but I was also here, here we live the dream. So many models come and go, but some stay, for years, some for decades, some seen to be really into it, really happy about eating all of it, about getting heavier, celebrating the thresholds the sizes the limitations in some cases, and that is truly amazing, purely erotic. Not sure how I would cope with that kind of lady. About this time, our beloved juicyjackie was probably crossing 450 and here I was thinking how is possible that my lady is making such a big fuss about being barely 165pounds, something must be off… and sometimes is us that are off and think anyone can be 500 pounds in a beat and have a normal life.

There is more to come! These wonderful ladies, sometimes make us think 350pounds is such a small girl, when in fact, they are very rare and difficult to find and to keep and to enjoy because society has most of the time gained on us and messed with their heads making them believe that they are just not attractive, we need to expand our reach as FA-s.

[extra_m13]

The year is 2019-2020, things are starting to get better. Relationship is a bit better, I have a job, not a good one nor stable but a job nevertheless and that helps set the foundation for a good year, except of course a virus had different plans for it. The first weeks for us were in march, the home office made its appearance and then it all went downhill. It was a long summer for sure, a needless struggle in terms of getting some very basic items but we were incredibly lucky if I am honest, looking at it in perspective. 

 

Income did not stop or diminish, our loved one stayed mostly healthy and while the wife had a small health scare it was not related to covid but to the same kidneys. Weight wise, she was told that she needed to lose again, as every doctor will tell a lady in the mid 30’s with a bmi in the obese category, over 30 by this point and not doing much to lose, so maintaining with a tendency to slow gaining, you gotta appreciate the body getting softer and she getting used to not exercising and just let it roll. 

 

We found different ways to spend time, being indoors most of these involved drinking and eating and while the gain was not really notable or fast, the good thing is that it all was becoming normal. The clothes getting tighter, the legs filled with cellulite, the belly looking softer and rounder and the weight settling in a new ways, softer and establishing a new baseline. Now when she talked about losing weight, she would say the goal to be around 20 pounds which would put her still at an overweight range, but she would no longer talk about getting back to her pre marriage or kids weight, and that is the ultimate goal for us guys.

 

Healthwise, you always try to encourage some balance, specially when it is oriented in keeping weight, exercise yes, but do not stop eating, cake yes, but that may not be the best breakfast, sugar is better as a dessert after a nice steak for example, and the journals back us and then we can load into more calories. Pandemic put some perspective into the dumb idea of getting into a particular size of jeans and be grateful about being well and alive and able to enjoy life at full speed, what does it matter if you are a 12 and you were an 8 a couple of years ago? 

 

The battle vs beauty standards is so difficult because we are actually battling decades of indoctrination and our time with our ladies it is usually short in comparison so we have to be very careful. Crazy reactions can happen as in… you just want me to get fatter, because you do not love me, all you care is me eating until i am about to explode and balance out those responses, while indeed getting her fatter is a very delicate act which i am sure no one can managed perfectly so it is usually better to stay on the safe side, to be timid about how real intentions and slowly and gently pushing that extra slice of pizza and that wine and cheese for sure. But more of that in 2020, i know i got the dates backward about pandemic, i will amend that in the next delivery, focused on 2020 and a bit of 2021. Thanks for being part of the community.

[extra_m13]

The year is 2020… the lady is still 5’1 and how firmly over 155 pounds and not really aiming about losing a lot of weight just trying to look better for everyone who appreciates a modern look of beauty or to anyone who see being skinny as always a preferible thing. BMI is now over 30 and i Will not be the one who tells her about it. One thing, at that weight, while clearly overweight, the pressure is mostly from her family as she is now the heaviest of them all. Heavier than her sister and mom, but also heavier than her father and brother, i of course Will not remind her that when we are choosing places to have dinner. Pandemic starts around february and the shut down being by the end of march, we have the kids at home and while we were really lucky and came unscathed that period definitely helped people who tend to be sedentary to gain some weight. In her case, she was surprisingly stable during most of the year, it was only until the december holidays when she visited her family that the inner gainer as i like to call it, got activated. It is the hottest thing when she is in that mode, you can tell, it is imposible that she is hungy and yet she is demanding and asking for food and even the simplest meal become a stuffin. If we are talking tacos for breakfast, she Will order a ridiculous amount for the number of people involved and then just make a very Good effort to finish them all. In the process, i am impressed and very turned on because she is obviously and conciously overeating she cannot be hungry, and then she continues to eat and when she looks finally done she would say ‘now i need something sweet’ and after that, probably without being able to finish it, then she would honestly say, ‘i am about to exploe’ either in pijamas or in unbuttoned jeans or with dress, she Will grab her belly and say ‘i cant believe how much i ate’, ‘i look pregnant’ and for an fa like me, there are only a few better sequences to get me on. That was a fantastic december i must say, when she is in eating mode, after that, in a couple of hours you wil find her snacking on some chips or simply some cookies and already thinking about what we Will have for dinner. The family is the most important thing of course and every family gathering involves plenty of food, her dad Will call her out but at the time, she has the perfect excuse, ‘its the holidays, i Will diet afterwards do not bother me now’ and that is music to my ears. The end of the year brings also the end of the intentional binge eating however a new baseline has been established, she is now a bit over 80kg, or 177pounds and bmi over 35, we, and mostly me, are feeling Good. Clothes are the main issue here, you have to adapt and very fast, get things out, buy something new, but the psicological effect is difficult to overcome in the short term, i am not the best to talk about it but i feel there is an aspecto of self identity, like i was this and now i am not and usually, most of the people Will take it the wrong way going up a size or two, not like progress and not like something desirable but like something has been done and it is very bad. That is something most of us fase, the lady that celebrates gains, as fantastic as that is, is extremely unusual and mine is definitely not part of that group. As for body changes, for a bottom heavy girl, she is now showing a Delicious belly, a proper ** belly that can be seen from every angle, the ass and hips, the legs, while full of cellulite and delicously fat, are somehow being displaced in favor of other áreas. Arms are looking chubbier, i love to see old pics, she is now 1/3 heavier than when we met and it is mostly fat, she is still staying away from exercising regularly and i am very very excited about year 2021, and it Will start with a bang as that december night i got her pregnant with our second child.

[extra_m13]

The year was 2021, lady started the year weighing a bit more than 175pounds in what was a fantastic holiday season for me. And by the end of january things were going to get better with the confirmation of the 2nd pregnancy, which was very welcome. BMI over 30 and starting the 2nd pregnancy with the clear goal of hers to ‘not Gain a lot’ so it was clear that it was going to be a year of gains. And off we went. Even do, again, thing from the real life department messed up stuff with yet another job change in february for me.

This time around, being older and heavier, the pregnancy wasn’t as smooth as the first time however things were going relatively fine into week 28 when a moving to another city took place and that generated a bit of stress, because another job change, it was for the better but definitely in the short ter mis something that requires attention and energy. Her being a foodie took all this as a chance to eat a bit more of everything and by then she has a respectable 5kg gain and she was happy about it but things were about to get fast and furious.

By the end of august she was up to 195 pounds, bmi 37, eating ravenously and thing were looking Good. But she got sick. Personally it was a Monster challenge to juggle everything at the same time, the new city the new job the hospital visits, take of of the household. Not to make this too long but she spent 5 of the next 8 weeks in the hospital, losing 10kg or 20 pounds in that time, looking almost skinny and a bit saggy when she left but thankfully everyone was safe and sound. That took mosto of september and october but the toll on her emotional and mental health but take a bit longer to get back to normal.

With that said, the holidays were around the corner again and after this sudden and notable weight loss she was happy eating again. So the hope was always there because the power of the habit is really what we aim for as fa’s that is why sometime i am a bit unsettled about seeing these Young gainers trying to eat the world in a weekend and thinking or at least advertising that they Will ge to 650 in a couple of months, it just doesn’t work that way and at this point i prefer slow and steady with a couple of growth spurts than a sprint.

Hopefully for me the habit is strong and she would be back at 80kg in no time but things got busy and serious real quickly, one day i was thinking about how to quietly celebrate 200 and she was literally fighting for her life, you do wonder about what is really important and struggle to juggle feelings in every direction and that is something we must learn to manage.

[extra_m13]

2022. 

This was a year that had a bit of everything. Lady was hovering around 200 pounds but not really concerned about it, for the relationship it was a rocky year, there were no major health incidents but some money issues that always get in the way. Sometime here we tend to minimize or enclose the relationship to a eat whatever you want and get fatter but we fa’s have to account for a lot of things involved as well and money is one of them because satisfying their craving which is of course in our best interest will usually involve parting with a good amount of money in terms of having uber eats often at home, going out to nice restaurants and if all goes well then going shopping for bigger and better clothes. 

 

This is a bit what happen during 2022, getting steady to 200 was more like a grind, just not losing felt like a win for me because for a happy eater the good times work in our favor but when things are not precisely in a happy place it is difficult to maintain a calorie excess. It did help that she has never been a regular exercise person so being sedentary helps a lot in many ways, for one it keeps metabolism low so odds are in your favor as well, and for someone who enjoys dining out with friends in all kinds of social events it becomes a bit easier to overeat.

 

This lack of physical activity also helps as the curves tend to get softer over time, after the hospital there was a bit of sagging skin, with the latest gain that basically solved and fat was gaining ground on different areas. She, being a bottom heavy girl, the cellulite had gained so much ground i could feel the dimples over the jeans, wonderful for me if you ask me. The belly was pushing things around in the kitchen or when she was doing her hair, sometime poking out below the pajamas in a such a cute way, i enjoy this a lot even do it puts her in a foul mood. For someone bottom heavy to develop a protruding belly was something new and really negative but without the willpower to do anything about it, a good place for an fa even do the mood changes are not fun. 

 

Once a really nice ass for traditional standards, always big but shapely, became mostly a mass of wonderful fatness that jiggles with every step, a wonderful sight and feel for me, for her, a difficulty to deal with in every event and when trying any new clothes. There is some truth and i do not understand why, getting clothes that fit can be a real challenge for our big and curvy ladies, there are problems for length, width and these bottom heavy girls require always some adaptation. Sounds like a good market opportunity if you ask me, make it common and normal, do not make them go online for niche places and feel odd about it. 

 

Traditionally thin in the arms, these looked bigger now, much to my delight, always a chubby or round face now was losing the neck. During all these changes i could do nothing but to repeat every day, i think you look absolutely fantastic, i would not change anything about you, not a stretchmark, not a kilo, not a spot, and of course, praise every curve and roll without openly say it is a fat roll that one you have there because that will only lead to problems. Acknowledging a gain is also a delicate matter to address, after a certain point you cannot only say i think you look great, the change must be dealt with. For this i said that i was pleasantly surprised with how things have changes and that i preferred the curvier -never say heavier out of shape full of gluttony and empty of willpower- version of her that and that i was grateful to being able to enjoy those fantastic curves. 

 

This worked good enough for us to have a fantastic holiday and to push away any serious diet or weight loss attempt until further notice, which tends to be of course when the lady reaches the upper limit on most of her current clothes, that would happen in 2023, and that will be described in the following delivery. Thank you.

[extra_m13]

We have come to the last delivery, the thread will probably either be deleted or just get lost in a few weeks, but I hope to feel better about just let it all out. I will write now about the year in course, 2023. The lady started the year probably a bit above 200 pounds which was heavy for her, a bmi of almost 39 which was very good for me. But also with a vague intention of losing weight, which did not happen during the first nor the second month, at the beginning of march we made a weekend trip and she ate at an impressive pace, I was struggling to keep up, I was not hungry but just went along because that is what you do when you lady says she wants a snack or anything fattening. 

I know things would eventually come to a halt, clothes give you signals and in this case it was a bit of clothes simply not fitting, and by that, I mean pajamas and the fat pants that everyone has as a last resort. It was the scale creeping up to 215 pounds, now with bmi over 40, basically of the charts and thanks for a friend’s analysis a body fat percentage hovering around 50%, so all the signs where there, you just cannot say oh you are just curvy, you are not fat, you are fine, there are no risks, and that was a bit of a different situation to be in. 

The lady was in shock, heavier than me, being more than a foot taller, I would really never concede or agree to weigh the equivalent for her bmi, specially in her fashion, with such a high body fat percentage. So here I cannot simply say, have another bit, the speech must be different or you will be inevitably classified as a selfish and arrogant prick forever and ever and that is not the ideal. So you give a hint that the gain is too much for such amount of time, so you should investigate a bit further to check for any metabolism trick. 

That was a sensible move, even do the expected happened, doctor said she was way too fat, she panicked, she took whatever they gave her and she did lost weight. However the secondary effects were simply not worth it, the point of it all is to enjoy being alive by enjoying life and that there are somethings that you must accept by following that process... if you drink too much you will likely by hangover, if you eat too much you will likely be fat, that is how things are supposed to work and you cannot really fool the system, you cannot eat everything there is and expect not to gain weight over time.  

The thing is, there is indeed a point in which you kinda cannot ignore it and just continue, you have to acknowledge it and make a decision. Do you want to get out of breath after a few stairs or after a perfectly fine walk?, do you want to get your clothes at normal stores or would you like them ordered by specialty stores? Meaning for super fat people? Those are decisions that you cannot really ignore and that they, must be difficult for the person who has always been struggling to avoid the chubby and fat label. 

That was and is and I am sure I will continue to be the biggest barrier. She has a blessed figure and carries very well but she is running out of space, legs rub a lot, she keeps somewhat a thin face and arms but hips, legs and belly are now impossible to ignore and things will not get any better. Regular clothes are not working anymore, but, even do she gets angry and sad about not fitting into clothes, she still proposes getting 5guys after trying to shop for jeans and dresses. What do I expect?, a bit of the same yo yo, probably with her getting a bit heavier in the following years, what do I want?, freedom from the idea that she has to be certain size, an acceptance that her habits create a curvy body and likely a 250 figure in a couple of years. Problem is of course that health issues, more serious ones, are really around the corner so you cannot have it all, it is really as simple as that.