Who would’ve thought being attracted to bellies would make dating so goddamn tough

[PreyToGod]

Just my annual whinge into the void since I obviously can’t talk about this with anyone I know - feel free to ignore it
 

In my experience...

Most girls do not want even a slight belly to put it mildly and feel extremely self conscious if they have anything other than a flat stomach…  even that’s not always enough these days… they want abs (especially in Australia) which are comparatively way harder for a girl to achieve than a guy given how women sit at a higher body fat naturally. Of course I support people achieving their goals (even if they are motivated by insecurity). 

Most girls don’t have the genetics to gain mainly in the belly anyway.  

Most girls dress in a way that conceals their belly if they have one ( understandably )

Almost no girls like having their belly drawn attention to, touched or even complimented, even if they have a pretty flat stomach, it’s almost like an area you have to pretend doesn’t exist on them.  

Most girls will freak out if they find out you think stomach fat is sexy, even the open minded ones 

Most girls deliberately never eat much around guys they’re into so they don’t look bloated.  

Or sucks being attracted to the B which unlike boobs and butt - which are often fat as well - is so widely undesired.

Half of my female friends are borderline anorexic and literally starve themselves but think they look great and get compliments which confirms in their mind that they’re doing the right thing. 
 

We live in a time where the “curves” that are in are even more unattainable than the emaciated model look and require most women to get implants and wear a fucking corset - I’m yet to see a “body positive” model with a gut - they always have wide hips and hourglass figure and yet supposed to be promoting the message that all shapes and sizes are sexy.

 

The only women I see out and about with bellies are mums or middle aged women, and it’s understandable but it sucks.

 

Then there’s the fact that I’m in fairly good shape and have a reasonably healthy diet, so even if I were to meet a girl with a cute belly and I convince her that I find her body sexy, my lifestyle might lead her to feel self conscious.

 

Then there’s the fact that I’m not always thinking with my dick and do actually care about peoples wellbeing so I wouldn’t ever persuade someone to gain against their judgment and would always support someone losing weight if they thought it was in their best interest, but I can’t deny that it will slightly dent my attraction to them. 
 

And personality is still the most important aspect of any relationship.

If a girl has a serious belly and she doesn’t have a kink or fetish for feedism or stuffing or gaining or anything then honestly the question does arise… is she just really fucking lazy? Because that’s not an attractive trait in a life partner if it’s something that spills over into other areas of life; I want someone who would also be down to do things, travel, and who has some self restraint too.

In the past I have found myself getting magnetised to girls with bellies before realising that I actually cannot stand their personality and it would be ridiculous to try and be with them simply for their body shape.

 

Then I feel bad and wonder whether I’m fetishing women, but the fact is yes I probably am but also so does everyone to some degree - is my friend who’s into stick thin women with enormous booties not doing that as well? I just see it as being part of my natural sexual attraction to women plus it’s more natural to be attracted to a woman with extra pounds given one hundred thousand years of evolution where that was a signal of fertility, although I’m not sure why the ** belly look has always been the sexiest form for me. Either way I don’t feel too bad about it because I know I would always put the person first and hold their best interests at heart but I still question it sometimes.

 

I’ve got to be the only guy swiping on dating apps hoping that the nice girl I’m talking to is actually chubbier in person than she is in her photos. 

 
Tried being with a thin girl with a flat stomach (and abs) and while they can be pretty there is 0 sexual attraction. Ladies who are chubby all over don’t do it for me either, I wish my damn preferences weren't so narrow.

 

But I’ve been into this my whole life so it’s not surprising… but man I never realised how frustrating it would make dating.

 

Does anyone relate? 
 

Any advice or anything you want to share I’m all ears 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Weight gain schadenfreude]

I bet somewhere else on the Internet someone is making a thread titled "Who would’ve thought being attracted to fit girls would make dating so goddamn tough" and complaining because every girl he meets through Tinder is fatter in person. Just stop being so uptight and go with the flow. You can perfectly see women's bodies in real life. Have you considered meeting girls in the wild? In any case it seems to me you'd be anxious even if you met a girl with a belly. You eould probably find a way to stress over her diet because she doesn't eat as much as you would like.

[extra_m13]

i do get you... and well, we will have to deal with it. the double line i say... wanting the lady to be and behave in a certain way but not always leading by our acts. and something are even possible to please, the lady with no boobs will hardly grow them up to the juicy jags we want, same with the ass, and sometimes the same with the belly. but well, the only thing to do is to narrow it a bit, a hope for the best. 

[lovecurvefat]

i guess by process of natural selection, the very specific sexual preferences would be less likely to reproduce and thus be selected against.

 

i, for one, don't see myself reproducing really. eventhough i'm considered attractive by society, and have decent financial health. but i just don't want to form a relationship and what not. so i will be selected against in the evolutionary terms. 

although, that doesn't mean i can't contribute to society in other ways, or enjoy life in other ways - i do enjoy traveling, hiking, gaming, eating, etc.

[Guest Hell Kaiser]

2 Pieces of advice:

1. Perhaps the area where you live is overly fit and if you're serious about this, you could consider moving in the future.

2. If you are struggling a lot with this, I suggest going on nofap. Life is a lot bigger than sexuality, and if you get out of the cycle of beating off, you can start to move beyond sexuality and focus on other aspects of life. Some really good ones that have helped me are meditation and trying to make a positive difference to people. The more I focus on those, the less I am a slave to sexuality. I don't mean to demonize sexuality, but for me I didn't not want my life to be run by this compulsion that was out of my control. Now, I'm in control and actually my sexuality has broadened and changed since I started to make this shift in my life. Girls I wasn't attracted to before, I now can find attractive. Sexuality is cool and all, but if you're trapped in a cycle of beating off and being unhappy because you can't find a partner that satisfies you, you will miss the more profound things that create more happiness like meditation and sharing positivity with the people around you. Goodluck!

[PreyToGod]

On 8/5/2022 at 4:57 PM, Hell Kaiser said:

2 Pieces of advice:

1. Perhaps the area where you live is overly fit and if you're serious about this, you could consider moving in the future.

2. If you are struggling a lot with this, I suggest going on nofap. Life is a lot bigger than sexuality, and if you get out of the cycle of beating off, you can start to move beyond sexuality and focus on other aspects of life. Some really good ones that have helped me are meditation and trying to make a positive difference to people. The more I focus on those, the less I am a slave to sexuality. I don't mean to demonize sexuality, but for me I didn't not want my life to be run by this compulsion that was out of my control. Now, I'm in control and actually my sexuality has broadened and changed since I started to make this shift in my life. Girls I wasn't attracted to before, I now can find attractive. Sexuality is cool and all, but if you're trapped in a cycle of beating off and being unhappy because you can't find a partner that satisfies you, you will miss the more profound things that create more happiness like meditation and sharing positivity with the people around you. Goodluck!

Both good points.

I tend to go through phases where I become really sexually charged and the kink tendencies obviously grow stronger in these times, I don't want to demonize it either but I much prefer how I feel when I'm in a more platonic mindset and finding more enjoyment in other things - when I'm in a horny mood, other areas that should compel me don't really have the same appeal and I feel unbalanced. 

I think long term the ideal would be partnering up with someone who I really like and who has a bit of a belly (perhaps even overeats once every now and then because they know I have a bit of a kink for that) and I'm not pressure her into anything she's not comfortable with, and besides that it's just a normal healthy relationship - so many of these relationships based primarily in fetishes strike me as really unstable and questionable but if it works well enough for both then power to them 

I think I'm going to move for a while regardless. I guess places like mexio/southern states of america/india would have me surrounded by women with bellies, but I'm not prepared to move somewhere just for this, rather just move somewhere I'm interested in living and if it has more chubby women than here (which is likely since Australia is the most fitness conscious place) then that will be a bonus 

[Guest Hell Kaiser]

4 hours ago, PreyToGod said:

Both good points.

I tend to go through phases where I become really sexually charged and the kink tendencies obviously grow stronger in these times, I don't want to demonize it either but I much prefer how I feel when I'm in a more platonic mindset and finding more enjoyment in other things - when I'm in a horny mood, other areas that should compel me don't really have the same appeal and I feel unbalanced. 

I think long term the ideal would be partnering up with someone who I really like and who has a bit of a belly (perhaps even overeats once every now and then because they know I have a bit of a kink for that) and I'm not pressure her into anything she's not comfortable with, and besides that it's just a normal healthy relationship - so many of these relationships based primarily in fetishes strike me as really unstable and questionable but if it works well enough for both then power to them 

I think I'm going to move for a while regardless. I guess places like mexio/southern states of america/india would have me surrounded by women with bellies, but I'm not prepared to move somewhere just for this, rather just move somewhere I'm interested in living and if it has more chubby women than here (which is likely since Australia is the most fitness conscious place) then that will be a bonus 

I agree with you and I think we are similar in our outlook of this situation. I think the plan you laid out also seems like a good one. I myself live in the Southern states of America, and I think if you pick a good spot, you might like it a lot. Its personal preference depending on what you're interested in, but some recommendations for places I like are any of the big cities in Texas, Lots of the cities in Arizona, Colorado is beautiful and amazing (although it is pretty fit), and Santa Fe New Mexico has a really cool and laid back culture. Anyways, goodluck and I hope you find what you're looking for.

[soupsoupsoup]

Girls with bellies don’t always just have them cause they’re lazy. There’s tons of factors that go into that. You just gotta go out there and meet people. There’s personalities you’ll like or dislike regardless of body type and they’re not necessarily associated to body type. If there simply aren’t enough ladies like that were you are you could consider moving. But I think with some patience you’ll meet someone you’ll hit it off with 

[Kaia Lox]

There are many beautiful big bellied women in Australia with amazing personalities . They're just probably not all online. a lot of them also don't like to be fetishes for people so they're quite weary about that.