Fitting In

[Madilyn Mars CLIPS]

For those of you who follow me, you've likely seen me get frustrated with the dynamics of the site. I kind of wanted to share why I feel this way. I guess it's because the response to some models is sooo warm and welcoming, and for me, it was so much colder and quieter. I notice I have a decent following of people who like to watch from afar and not interact. This is their right. No one has to like me, or support me, but I figured I'd fit in better on a site made for fat (or curvy) people. This has not been my experience. Don't get me wrong, many of the models have been WONDERFUL to me, and a few very amazing followers, but overall I don't feel like I fit in here. Even just as a part of the community.

The rest of the internet is full of average sized people who have plenty space to express themselves, places to find their people, places to fit in. Even on here, I've noticed more and more "normal" sized folks moving in, and finding success. Before you say it, no. No, I'm not trying to resource guard this site and everyone starts somewhere, all are welcomed. It's just very hard to find a place where I can be myself, in all my fat glory, it's frustrating because others have access to sooo many platforms that accept them with open arms. Places they can freely express themselves without censorship or judgement. We all deserve space. It's clear that even on here, smaller bodies are preferred by a majority of users, and I just don't fit that mould. People don't even want to interact with you if you're not popular.

It's also rather frustrating that I see so many posts saying "I want to see you as fat as possible!" from people who only support smaller fat creators. But when we're actually fat-fat, they are no longer interested. I don't know what it is about me or my size, but it's definitely not wanted or welcomed into this space in the way that so many others are embraced. Not gonna lie, it kind of hurts.

This is not meant to drag on anyone, model OR member. It's just a taste of what I have experienced. It's me shedding light on issues I've noticed, and even discussed with other models. It sucks not to have a place to belong. To feel lesser than because of a body that already holds you back from fitting in to the real world. 

Edited July 28, 2022 by Madilyn Mars

[hamazon]

I have to say, and I should acknowledge my bias, you’re kind of preaching to the choir in my case, because I tend to like the, as you put it, “fat-fat” models, but I’ve definitely noticed that the smaller models tend to get more attention. There are a few outliers, to be sure, but overall I’d agree with you. My guess is that people like to see that growth potential that’s inherent with smaller models: the expectation is that they will grow, and honestly that process is always just so fun to watch. But then the question is: where does leave people who are good with their weight, whatever it is? And, as a member, it seems like the answer is: you can post, but you won’t get a lot of traffic. Idk how you would fix this, I mean it might just be a random occurrence that a lot of peoples’ preferences here tend toward chubby rather than “fat-fat.” I don’t know. Of course the other part of this whole thing, unfortunately, is money, but since I’m not a model, I’ll stay away from that topic. 
Long story short: I agree with you, and I wish I had an answer. 

[Madilyn Mars CLIPS]

I don't think there is a solution, because everyone has their preferences. The majority prefer smaller fats. That's their right. I feel like I've had a hard time expressing why I struggle on here. People think it's all about money, but I'm so here for the community, and even there I struggle. The problem for me is the fact that it feels like I'm not really welcome. Even when I try to start genuine conversations in a thread (which is 100% free), no one cares to join in (with the exception of my regulars). I guess I'm boring... I dont really know. It seems to me, if you're not popular, people don't want to interact. Why does everything have to be a popularity contest?

Edited July 28, 2022 by Madilyn Mars

[DanteSparda45]

I don't think you're boring. I think you're amazing and an awesome person.

[TheGoldenDun]

I feel you on this topic, and I know what you mean. And I’m really sorry that you’re going through something like that. I do follow you and I think you are really cool and if I hadn’t seen this topic, I would’ve been upset if I had not realized that this was going on with you personally. I’m sorry to for the lurk and not saying much but I’ve seen your content and it’s amazing!

When I first joined Curvage it was the most amazing site where many of all sizes can share their journey (and Curvage is still my favorite site). But over the past few months I’ve been noticing the same trend that you mention, and it actually makes me sad that some people have the notion to like what is “fat” for them in their eyes and what they don’t like. Some folks like a belly “this” way and others like it “that” way. Some like this body type and that body type. This isn’t a voting website or however others see it, this is a body positivity website. For me, every model is a human being who can decide for themselves what they want to do with their bodies. Unfortunately not everyone see’s it that way.

Me personally I’m here for the community. I love to get to know models and support them. I would used to say things like “you should make yourself bigger!” in the comments when someone posted a pic of their progress, but I have since stopped saying this because it felt like it wasn’t really “support” if you get my meaning. Now, I just want to show my support by their decisions and I accept any model for whatever choice they make and I genuinely like to be just friendly to them. Unfortunately not everyone is perfect and like you said, it’s sometimes about preferences, sometimes it’s about money, and mostly (like everything on social media) it’s about the likes. And unfortunately, for guys, they get pleasure from looking at a hot body that’s “preferable” for them.

Honestly, like you said earlier, there is no real solution. What works for me personally is if someone is cool and loves to commune, I dig with them. If they’re not so friendly and are just in for the views and likes and aren’t social, I move on. That’s simply how I keep myself stress-free. I’ve seen your work and what you’re interests are and your About Me section, I think you’re really cool and I accept you and how you live your life and what you want to do!❤️ And you’re always welcome to talk to me or see my page anytime! They may not show, but there are many like-minded people like you and me.

[hamazon]

I wonder if part of it is people bringing their fans with them from other sites, and so what we're seeing is just primarily people who are only on Curvage for one or two specific models/body types. I know that I initially joined this site because there was one specific model I liked who only posted here (she no longer does), but I liked what I saw around the site, so I stayed, looked around, and found a lot of other people to like. I'd be curious to hear other opinions on that, both from members and models.

It might also be that as this site gets more popular or something, the demographic changes slightly so it does, as TheGoldenDun said, become more about the likes and that. It should just be about the community, and that's definitely the reason I love this place, but not everyone thinks like that. Hopefully this is just a temporary trend, because this is the only place in my life where I feel free to talk about this stuff and be myself, so I'd hate if this just became an OF copycat or something, but that seems like a worst case scenario. 

Basically this is just my stream of consciousness rambling, sorry if there isn't a coherent point lol. 

Also, I second DanteSparda, you are definitely not boring ☺️.

[extra_m13]

internet is wide open... for good and bad. at the end is about finding experimenting and getting to know people that we share something with. personally... curvage has been because i find a place where curves are celebrated, of course i am a male and it can be a bit different. for ladies and models... it can be a bit different. but i do think this is definitely a place where curves eating and gaining are celebrated. no matter if you are here not to gain or to eat but just to realize that we exist. i encourage you to give curvage more time and to ignore of course rude comments that will lead you to nowhere anyway. 

[Madilyn Mars CLIPS]

Thanks, friends. 🥺

Honestly SO appreciate your kind responses. I wasn't sure how it would be received, and I'm sure there are people who still think I've victimized myself, but I'm so glad to have opened up to your kinds words. That means so much. I just had to express my feelings and I certainly hope I didn't hurt anyone in the process. ❤️ 

[TheGoldenDun]

You’re so welcome!❤️ And you never have to apologize for anything! You did not hurt us at all, you opened up about how you felt and we helped in any way we can! You’re always welcome to talk to any of us anytime!

[BustyBlue CLIPS]

On 7/28/2022 at 5:25 AM, Madilyn Mars said:

For those of you who follow me, you've likely seen me get frustrated with the dynamics of the site. I kind of wanted to share why I feel this way. I guess it's because the response to some models is sooo warm and welcoming, and for me, it was so much colder and quieter. I notice I have a decent following of people who like to watch from afar and not interact. This is their right. No one has to like me, or support me, but I figured I'd fit in better on a site made for fat (or curvy) people. This has not been my experience. Don't get me wrong, many of the models have been WONDERFUL to me, and a few very amazing followers, but overall I don't feel like I fit in here. Even just as a part of the community.

The rest of the internet is full of average sized people who have plenty space to express themselves, places to find their people, places to fit in. Even on here, I've noticed more and more "normal" sized folks moving in, and finding success. Before you say it, no. No, I'm not trying to resource guard this site and everyone starts somewhere, all are welcomed. It's just very hard to find a place where I can be myself, in all my fat glory, it's frustrating because others have access to sooo many platforms that accept them with open arms. Places they can freely express themselves without censorship or judgement. We all deserve space. It's clear that even on here, smaller bodies are preferred by a majority of users, and I just don't fit that mould. People don't even want to interact with you if you're not popular.

It's also rather frustrating that I see so many posts saying "I want to see you as fat as possible!" from people who only support smaller fat creators. But when we're actually fat-fat, they are no longer interested. I don't know what it is about me or my size, but it's definitely not wanted or welcomed into this space in the way that so many others are embraced. Not gonna lie, it kind of hurts.

This is not meant to drag on anyone, model OR member. It's just a taste of what I have experienced. It's me shedding light on issues I've noticed, and even discussed with other models. It sucks not to have a place to belong. To feel lesser than because of a body that already holds you back from fitting in to the real world. 

Damn, I didn’t realise this. In my opinion. If a smaller girl/boy wants to gain and they feel they are pushed away by normal sites that don’t really promote being bigger then. I understand that curvage is probably the best place for them. I like the idea that curvage promotes that. It’s good that people want to come here to do that. 
 

However I do agree that curvage shouldn’t be just another site for the masses. It Has a purpose which is to promote larger girls and like you say let them be free in their own fetish and have their fun. So I think when “normal” sized people come here I think there are 2 schools of thought 1) it’s a place that might like my body so I will try and see how I get on. 2) it’s just another site for women and I can make money no matter my body type.
 

I think 2 as an approach is more “damaging” for the site but I’d say a lot of the “damage”  still lies with the people who follow “normal” sized folk. I came to curvage because for me it was and still is the only place where I can freely express my body with out the worry of people not liking it because I’m on a site that promotes being bigger. If the site starts gaining traction with “normal” models then naturally people who follow “normal” will also come. In the future I can see it happening but I do hope curvage holds its plus size status rather than just becoming another “normal” model site. there may end up being a separate part of the site for “normal” sized folk I really couldn’t say. But power to you for pushing on through 😘

[thatguest]

To be honest the vast majority of commenting and conversation on this site revolves around smaller women who are actively gaining, and those same women as they get bigger. Nothing against the individuals at all, but if you're an already large woman or a man (already fat or gaining), getting any attention or traction on any conversation here is near on impossible.

[rachhole CLIPS]

On 7/27/2022 at 10:25 PM, Madilyn Mars said:

For those of you who follow me, you've likely seen me get frustrated with the dynamics of the site. I kind of wanted to share why I feel this way. I guess it's because the response to some models is sooo warm and welcoming, and for me, it was so much colder and quieter. I notice I have a decent following of people who like to watch from afar and not interact. This is their right. No one has to like me, or support me, but I figured I'd fit in better on a site made for fat (or curvy) people. This has not been my experience. Don't get me wrong, many of the models have been WONDERFUL to me, and a few very amazing followers, but overall I don't feel like I fit in here. Even just as a part of the community.

The rest of the internet is full of average sized people who have plenty space to express themselves, places to find their people, places to fit in. Even on here, I've noticed more and more "normal" sized folks moving in, and finding success. Before you say it, no. No, I'm not trying to resource guard this site and everyone starts somewhere, all are welcomed. It's just very hard to find a place where I can be myself, in all my fat glory, it's frustrating because others have access to sooo many platforms that accept them with open arms. Places they can freely express themselves without censorship or judgement. We all deserve space. It's clear that even on here, smaller bodies are preferred by a majority of users, and I just don't fit that mould. People don't even want to interact with you if you're not popular.

It's also rather frustrating that I see so many posts saying "I want to see you as fat as possible!" from people who only support smaller fat creators. But when we're actually fat-fat, they are no longer interested. I don't know what it is about me or my size, but it's definitely not wanted or welcomed into this space in the way that so many others are embraced. Not gonna lie, it kind of hurts.

This is not meant to drag on anyone, model OR member. It's just a taste of what I have experienced. It's me shedding light on issues I've noticed, and even discussed with other models. It sucks not to have a place to belong. To feel lesser than because of a body that already holds you back from fitting in to the real world. 

I just wanted to say I feel all of what you said 1000%. You know I totally get where you're coming from, and that honestly I was really happy about the positive and insightful comments you got back to this thread. 

[Guest GaelicGoddess]

I totally get how you feel. I see alot of "normal" size girls coming on here and I really hope it's because they want to start their gaining journey but sadly alot of the time that's not the case. And as you said, by the time a girl realises she is really into this fetish she's "too big" to attract a large following because alot of guys want to see the progression from fit to fat. 

All I can say is stick with it, this is the best community I've found so far for plus size people and I'd hate to see genuine girls like you leaving ❤️ 

[Melpomene CLIPS]

On 7/29/2022 at 1:55 AM, Madilyn Mars said:

Thanks, friends. 🥺

Honestly SO appreciate your kind responses. I wasn't sure how it would be received, and I'm sure there are people who still think I've victimized myself, but I'm so glad to have opened up to your kinds words. That means so much. I just had to express my feelings and I certainly hope I didn't hurt anyone in the process. ❤️ 

I’m new to the site and thought your insight was very interesting and definitely noted. I’d like to become a model and knowing the culture of a place goes a long way, so thank you for that. I’m glad your post has been well received and know that you are beautiful inside and out. It’s all about finding our own ways.

Best of luck to you! I know you’ll do great things!

[Guest Hell Kaiser]

Hi, I hope this doesn't sound rude, but I want to add a concrete suggestion on one of the topics you mentioned. I think that if you want to get more engagement on your thread, you need to ask the people who follow you questions/and or just engage them in conversations more (mixed in with posting sexy pictures). Giving them the opportunity to engage with both the visual and with your personality through questions/convos should really drive up comments!