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Why does this fetish attract so many weirdos and intellectually challenged individuals?


PreyToGod

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10 hours ago, PreyToGod said:

That might be the longest thing I’ve ever written 

Gonna reply to this short one since mine is longer too, lol.

First off king, well said and I understand your frustration. I got involved with the body positive community in my teens and quickly became disillusioned as to its actual positivity. I stuck around in a misguided sense of loyalty to the cause until the mid 2010s when it became heavily politicized. Now, I am content to simply treat the people in my own life better and live by example. However, and obviously since I'm here having this discussion with you, we as humans do crave a community of like-minded peers. The issue that you are speaking on is endemic and unfortunately cancerous, but it's scope is not limited to our community and extends outward to the entire fabric of the modern world itself.

The depersonalization caused by industrial society that allows people to behave so poorly occurs due to an ease of access and a lack of consequence for such shameful behavior. Humans, as a species, have spent the majority of our existence living in small groups whose survival depended upon one another and it created a social structure dependent upon qualitative validation for prosocial action. Basically, people needed to behave themselves and treat others well because they relied upon them for their survival. We can debate whether or not technology making our survival easier is a good or a bad thing but regardless, this is the world we live in. As for fixing the problem, if indeed it can be fixed and is not an inherent result digital communication, I believe it needs both an inner and an outer approach to be successful.

While studying the rituals of hospitality of the Germanic tribes, I came across a concept that governed their rules of hospitality. Innangarth means inner enclosure and it referred to the people whom have a direct impact, in a positive way, on our lives. For them, the most intricate hospitality and civility is reserved. Utengard means outer enclosure and it referred to the collective other, for whom not malice or cruelness was accorded, simply the inverse of the regard. This compartmentalization is a necessary social development within the context of the modern world. While we can maintain civility towards the collective other, they're not deserving of our regard, especially in this context. In short, Tribe is how we thrive. Such a callousness, while unfortunate, is necessary. I prefer to think of it as an application of meritocracy.

Externally, as a community, we can shame these individuals. I know that's a hot word these days but again, without consequences, these kinds of people will only continue their behavior, they have no reason not to. Specifically here, a dedicated forum could be made where anyone can post the slimy things they say with their accounts visible. It would provide an active deterrence for such behavior. I know that probably won't happen but these kind of people would hesitate to behave that way if they knew everyone would see the things they say. Just my two cents. While we can hope that people behave with civility, we should treat people based on their actions, not how we wish they'd act.

 

 

 

 

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"Weirdo" is a non-descriptive word, which usually means "Someone with whom my neurosis doesn't agree." 

I notice, too, that most people who use the word "weirdo" seem to come from a place of "Whereas I am perfectly normal, adjusted, my bowel movements are exactly 7 inches long and three wide and I have never been anything but completely and utterly compatible with every human I meet. WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO WEIRD?"

"Always fascinated by the weird edge of town/Come home disappointed 'cuz they always put you down." Elvis Costello, "Big Tears"

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What is it with people and their obsession with The Punisher? There's this group of semi-illiterate 'American Patriots' that plaster it all over the place and make a big fuss about blue lines or something. And then they yap about some 2nd amendment while their kids shoot each other. Pretty Weird if you ask me.

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16 hours ago, PreyToGod said:

For 90% of guys here bigger is better, and just because it runs contrariwise to the mainstream beauty paradigm doesn’t mean it’s any more virtuous than holding the more common view that thinner is better.

Many will claim they’re in support of weight loss or maintenance in the service of being healthier but we know that deeper down they’re hoping the diet fails or they decide to gain again - it’s their fetish after all. 

I agree with you on many other points, but not on this. Dude, this is not unlike guys who truly prefer skinny girls who pay lip service and say that they will still love their wives if they get fat later on, yet get them a gym membership once they get chubby. You can’t fault people for this - they are attracted to a certain body type, so there’s a conflict of interest and they can’t help it.

An example, if an FA’s wife doubles her size, sure he would be very turned on, but likewise he could be concerned for her health. If on the other hand she, at her current weight decided to lose weight for health purposes, I’m sure he would be supportive but likewise his attraction towards her may drop and sex life may take a hit. Now I’m talking bout a normal reasonable FA here and not some imbecile. 

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15 hours ago, CarlGnarl said:

"Weirdo" is a non-descriptive word, which usually means "Someone with whom my neurosis doesn't agree." 

I notice, too, that most people who use the word "weirdo" seem to come from a place of "Whereas I am perfectly normal, adjusted, my bowel movements are exactly 7 inches long and three wide and I have never been anything but completely and utterly compatible with every human I meet. WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO WEIRD?"

"Always fascinated by the weird edge of town/Come home disappointed 'cuz they always put you down." Elvis Costello, "Big Tears"

I've always found people who call turds "movements" charmingly quaint.

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"such a disproportionate amount of folks who seem socially oblivious, obsessive, illiterate and or mentally challenged. "

Despite what I said above about "weird" being subjective, I felt this morning to share an incident that perfectly illustrates the point of your post. 

I was invited, a few years ago, to a dinner gathering at a restaurant by a SSBBW with whom I'd interacted, most pleasantly, for some time - email exchanges, a couple of nice phone calls - no funny stuff because I don't do that right off the bat. But I was excited to meet her and some other humans.

Parked, went to restaurant, table full of people, and said SSBBW acted like she'd never met me. A quick "hi" and that was the first and last thing she said to me. There were very young men at the table surrounding her as well and each of these men said almost not a word because they were texting under the table.

"Well!" says I to myself. "This certainly sucks!" I almost got up and left after 30 minutes of this. But one is polite. The end finally came and I mentioned I had a car and would anyone like a ride uptown?

One guy said yes, so we walked to my car in almost total silence. On the ride uptown, I asked him a few questions and got one-word answers.

When I finally got to his address, he got out of the car and didn't say a word, not even "Thanks for the lift." 

It might be another case of very young people with zero social skills, or you may attach the fat kink to my experience.

 

 

 

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Pleased to find a discussion happening here --- like the old days. LOL

I find it unpleasant and sobering. Glad it has recurred. The weirdness of FA's is a trope from ancient size history ---

There is a difference between socially intelligent suppression of behaviors and repression and distorted expressions of behavior.

Many of us may have personality traits that may be expressed skillfully or unskillfully without moderate psychopathology.

You can't automatically write off someone with selective mutism (super shy) who likes trains and identifies as an FA.

Perhaps the "fapping" index of a situation brings out the "lizard brain" in people --- overwhelming the front part of the brain that might keep personality traits within a socially acceptable range --- and instead amplifying or distorting traits to a socially unacceptable level.

Anonymity may also distort or supress the social need to get along with others. Purposefully desiring to get off above all else in one's own private way at home and get turned on with fantasy perhaps more strongly than in real life may cultivate a more primitive behavior that brings on the weird stuff.

It is even weirder when these compulsions erupt in real life, and yet, some how the rocks in his head may match the holes in hers or vice versa.

I believe disordered personalities come in all flavors --- and this has been an element in all our entertainment, going way back.

It is what has made all our stories compelling --- complicated and weird people --- and people who cannot see themselves.

 

 

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Well now, this is a genuinely fascinating thread!
I'm commenting and following it, so that I can come back for a dose of good feelings when inevitably I get disillusioned by this whole 'thing' again at some point 😬


I won't go into too much detail, as you guys are brining the positivity and objectivity and its so cool to see - but I think all of us chubbier models have had that 'marriage proposal via DM' or the 'quick change' from trying to hit on / date us to calling us 'ugly, fat, disgusting whatevers' when it doesn't work out instantly.

Perceived anonymity just speeds up what would be real life behaviors, in my view.

For what it's worth, neurodiversity is a wonderful thing and there will always be bad apples. Nonetheless, I've met some amazing people because of this fetish.
I'm adding you guys to that list, and following for more interesting discussion in the future 😉💕

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I've been struggling with accepting this attraction/fetish for a long time. I still do, as a matter of fact. From what I've seen, no matter the fetish it's very difficult for many to put (some) distance between the urges related to the fetish and the everyday life. A lot of ppl here define themselves as models, which imply that there's also a separate life, a personal one. Understanding this can be incredibly difficult at times for the FAs, and I'm not sure it has to do with being 'intellectually challenged' in the first place.

It probably has more to do with the fact that most of the interaction happens via screens. That creates a very 'weird' kind of interaction - as the screen denies that very distance between modeling/personal I've mentioned. @CarlGnarl mentioned in an earlier post the awkwardness that a screen-centered generation can create. The screen also allows a lot of FAs to define themselves as 'feeders' - even though a majority of them have no idea what putting food in a real feedee's mouth mean. Or to prepare a feeding session. Sending a 'eat up!' message is a VERY different thing than actually feeding someone.

To wrap up, I'd blame the whole mess mostly (not exclusively) on the screen-centered reality we all live in, rather than on the 'weirdos and intellectually challenged'. My two cents.

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On 5/30/2022 at 7:22 AM, PreyToGod said:

Feebie definitely seems like a collection of people who would sit in the corner and scribble pictures of their classmates being killed by a man in an evil rabbit costume.

Dunno. This seems oddly specific ....

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1 hour ago, Jasmines Soft Spot said:

Well now, this is a genuinely fascinating thread!
I'm commenting and following it, so that I can come back for a dose of good feelings when inevitably I get disillusioned by this whole 'thing' again at some point 😬


I won't go into too much detail, as you guys are brining the positivity and objectivity and its so cool to see - but I think all of us chubbier models have had that 'marriage proposal via DM' or the 'quick change' from trying to hit on / date us to calling us 'ugly, fat, disgusting whatevers' when it doesn't work out instantly.

Perceived anonymity just speeds up what would be real life behaviors, in my view.

For what it's worth, neurodiversity is a wonderful thing and there will always be bad apples. Nonetheless, I've met some amazing people because of this fetish.
I'm adding you guys to that list, and following for more interesting discussion in the future 😉💕

Wait! You mean I could have DM'ed a marriage proposal!?

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On 5/29/2022 at 12:16 PM, PreyToGod said:

I know that’s a loaded title but I’ve been part of the ‘community’ for about 10 years on various sites and I can’t help but feel this way - there is such a disproportionate amount of folks who seem socially oblivious, obsessive, illiterate and or mentally challenged. 
 

It’s an unusual kink but I don’t see how that really effects anything. 

I’ve never been a part of any other kink community online though so maybe it’s par for the course.

And maybe the more reasonable folks are less likely to post and make their presence felt. 
 

Also maybe this is a pretty average cross section of the general population. 
 

Has anyone else noticed this? What do you make of it? 

I understand the weirdo guy aspect of it. What I don't really understand are the girls: who they are, gaining motivations, ulterior motives or needs, or true believers. I think I understand some of the girls here who choose to share their stories with honesty, if not necessarily transparency. But that's not the majority. And the degree to which they behave the way the boys misbehave? I don't know that I get that at all. I know one guy recently posted about how disappointed he was and felt taken advantage of. But he didn't share anything. I couldn't tell if he was a weirdo a normal guy who got played somehow.

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3 hours ago, imp said:

I understand the weirdo guy aspect of it. What I don't really understand are the girls: who they are, gaining motivations, ulterior motives or needs, or true believers. I think I understand some of the girls here who choose to share their stories with honesty, if not necessarily transparency. But that's not the majority. And the degree to which they behave the way the boys misbehave? I don't know that I get that at all. I know one guy recently posted about how disappointed he was and felt taken advantage of. But he didn't share anything. I couldn't tell if he was a weirdo a normal guy who got played somehow.

I believe that the commodification of intimacy has a lot to do with this. Not necessarily just within this community, but within the entire modern world. Unhealthy and unnatural bodies were promoted the marketing for the diet industry which created a large quantity of air quotes normal bodies that were considered less attractive air quotes. This has, over time, led us to create a compartmentalization of our desires somewhat separated from our normal lives air quotes and certainly facilitated by screens and the internet. The compartmentalization leads to a furtive almost obsession with overly developed desires which, in turn, leads to the sort of misbehaviors we have talked about. I'm not sure, except in very deliberate cases of abuse, but any one person is particularly to blame but we can all work on the situation by treating each other like people instead of collections of check marks for a list of fetishes, whether we are buying or selling those check marks. I'm rambling. I hope you folks have a great day. Thank you for the discourse

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Pleased with the direction this discussion has taken considering my initial post came out a fair bit more caustic than I intended it ot be

It was crass to use the term weirdo - Id be considered a weirdo in many peoples eyes as I've got ADHD  and  my interests and preferences differ pretty significantly from what seems to be the norm, I suppose I meant more the types who you wouldn't be surprised to discover have a decomposing crow in jar sitting on their windowsill and frequently lick said window. There's some facetiousness when I say this sort of thing, but I've been floored by the ineptitude and depravity of so many  comments and messages I've seen over the years, especially when it's not asked for. I think we've identified most the underlying factors, and whilst I'd like to see a lot less of this shit, it's pretty hard to get through to someone who has compartmentalised this fetish from their personal life and morals and values and objectify everyone they see here - possibly because that helps create a semblance of distance between them and the fetish, which they may not be willing to embrace [yet] 

I know in my early year I had a cut and run mindset; look up S-31, blow my load as quickly as I could, then delete the browsing history even though I was the only one who used that computer, as though I was washing filth off my hands. I never really objectified anyone but I wasn't willing to be myself and I never would have predicted that I would be writing a message like this on a forum oriented around the fetish. 

Maybe responding to obscene messages with a reasonable response reminding them that you're a human being could lead to some reflection, or maybe the best approach is just to block and possibly report them. 

 

 

 

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  • Curvage Model

It's kind of been said, but I think the common denominator here is people.  People can be pretty gross animals, to put it mildly. Models on here experience the whole gambit in their DM's.  However, setting aside negativity bias, I will say I have just as many positive experiences with sweet, thoughtful folks looking for a genuine human connection (and a good old-fashioned thrill).

FWIW, I've never been called ugly for being fat. And people seem very uncomfortable when I matter-of-fact-ly identify myself as fat, which kind of amuses me, ngl.  I know this isn't everyone's experience, though [see also: gross animals].

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On 6/14/2022 at 7:59 AM, PreyToGod said:

 

 

 @CarlGnarl that's incredibly amusing but I'm sorry you got played like that. Perhaps the other guys also did and that's why they were so quiet and shocked. Hopefully she got her just desserts, not literally. 

Would be cool if you could link to the specific post you're talking about...like I did with yours above. Because this thread is now quite full and many days have gone by and one doesn't remember what one posted weeks ago. 

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On 6/14/2022 at 11:03 AM, imp said:

Wait! You mean I could have DM'ed a marriage proposal!?

DMs are always open 😂💕 
Though I've had some elaborate proposals before - being flown out to Dubai to live as a constant-fed fat Princess at the top of a tower apartment is the front-runner so far. 
You'd need to beat that @imp 😉

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Have you ever been tempted by any such offers? I wouldn’t call myself a weirdo - well educated, good job and all that. I guess like a lot of guys visiting this place, just a taste for curvy girls… especially those who are happy and confident in themselves. Each to their own! I think we have something special worth celebrating😊

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2 hours ago, Jasmines Soft Spot said:

I've had some elaborate proposals before - being flown out to Dubai to live as a constant-fed fat Princess at the top of a tower apartment

Underlining creepiness aside, that's an amazing proposal, worth fantasising about it 🔥😍 ( I'm also trying not to depart from the subject of this topic 😁 )

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13 hours ago, Carl348 said:

Have you ever been tempted by any such offers? I wouldn’t call myself a weirdo - well educated, good job and all that. I guess like a lot of guys visiting this place, just a taste for curvy girls… especially those who are happy and confident in themselves. Each to their own! I think we have something special worth celebrating😊

I mean it's the dream to be the treated, spoiled, fed and pampered Princess like that 😇 I just had no idea who the person was...
 

11 hours ago, anonfin said:

Underlining creepiness aside, that's an amazing proposal, worth fantasising about it 🔥😍 ( I'm also trying not to depart from the subject of this topic 😁 )

Would make a fun video, fantasy (and of course real life experience) for sure :P but yes not the thread topic! ❤️ 

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18 hours ago, Jasmines Soft Spot said:

DMs are always open 😂💕 
Though I've had some elaborate proposals before - being flown out to Dubai to live as a constant-fed fat Princess at the top of a tower apartment is the front-runner so far. 
You'd need to beat that @imp 😉

Welllll, I could do an Uber and a Vegas buffet. 🤷‍♂️ I might even spring for the top of the Strat.

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4 hours ago, Jasmines Soft Spot said:

I mean it's the dream to be the treated, spoiled, fed and pampered Princess like that 😇 I just had no idea who the person was...
 

Would make a fun video, fantasy (and of course real life experience) for sure :P but yes not the thread topic! ❤️ 

Sounds great! Until you get sold.

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Guest Hell Kaiser

I don't really think it attracts weirdos. I think there are just people who struggle with things everywhere and you might see that exposed on a more intimate online forum like this. Basically, I think that if you were on forums for any type of sexuality, there would be an equal amount of the people you are calling weirdos. My 2 cents ✌️

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