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Guest CherryCheesecake

Hi there, thought I'd introduce myself here- I haven't anywhere else. Even when I was younger my weight fluctuated. As a 10-15 yo I was called all the familiar names, teased for not only my weight but for having a deep southern accent after moving to the west coast. As a teenager all of a sudden I blossomed and had curves where society said they belonged. I hung around catty girls who made fun of overweight people. I got married to a very violent man. After it was over, I was diagnosed with PTSD and needed to be heavily medicated. I grew as a side effect of my meds. I have HUGE stretch marks as a side effect of my pregnancies and also had gestational diabetes which has blossomed into pre-diabetes. In 2017 I was a size 20, lost weight, in 2019 127 and size 4. But I had deprived myself for SO long of carbs, all sugars, and social eating - one day I just caved. Don't even remember what kind of food it was... pizza night, French bread and cheese, breading on chicken, pancakes or real cheesecake. The rest is history. Last year I was a size 12. Today, I have no idea what size I am. I've been too self conscious to go shopping so I just wear old leggings and baggy sweaters. The same two. I just invested in pjs that fit and feel so soft, warm and sexy on my skin. They are a leopard print. You know, supposedly a "hot" or "sexy" print. But I don't feel it.  I have tried everything to lose the weight again, but my body just wants to gain. I have asthma so it takes up a lot of money for my medication; heart disease, stroke and colon impactions run in my family. I'm trying to embrace this body, but I am concerned about dying too early for my son sometimes. And does anyone else have trouble with their belly sticking to itself when you scrub too hard and leaving rashes? Lol. Thank you for reading, if you've read this far and thank you SO MUCH for being such an amazing welcoming community.

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I feel for you so much. You don't accept certain things about yourself. OK. Now let me ask something "meta". Can you accept the fact that you don't accept these things? 

Contrary to what people believe, it's OK not to accept everything. And it's OK not to do anything about it. Try for once to be your own carer, not persecutor.

Stay healthy, Cheers.

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Guest CherryCheesecake

Yup...that's me. Very much trying to learn to accept myself on my body's terms not other people's or my "skinny girl" standards. Be happy!

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Guest CherryCheesecake

Re: CherryCheesecake 

Hi there, thought I'd introduce myself here- I haven't anywhere else. Even when I was younger my weight fluctuated. As a 10-15 yo I was called all the familiar names, teased for not only my weight but for having a deep southern accent after moving to the west coast. As a teenager all of a sudden I blossomed and had curves where society said they belonged. I hung around catty girls who made fun of overweight people. I got married to a very violent man. After it was over, I was diagnosed with PTSD and needed to be heavily medicated. I grew as a side effect of my meds. I have HUGE stretch marks as a side effect of my pregnancies and also had gestational diabetes which has blossomed into pre-diabetes. In 2017 I was a size 20, lost weight, in 2019 127 and size 4. But I had deprived myself for SO long of carbs, all sugars, and social eating - one day I just caved. Don't even remember what kind of food it was... pizza night, French bread and cheese, breading on chicken, pancakes or real cheesecake. The rest is history. Last year I was a size 12. Today, I have no idea what size I am. I've been too self conscious to go shopping so I just wear old leggings and baggy sweaters. The same two. I just invested in pjs that fit and feel so soft, warm and sexy on my skin. They are a leopard print. You know, supposedly a "hot" or "sexy" print. But I don't feel it.  I have tried everything to lose the weight again, but my body just wants to gain. I have asthma so it takes up a lot of money for my medication; heart disease, stroke and colon impactions run in my family. I'm trying to embrace this body, but I am concerned about dying too early for my son sometimes. And does anyone else have trouble with their belly sticking to itself when you scrub too hard and leaving rashes? Lol. Thank you for reading, if you've read this far and thank you SO MUCH for being such an amazing welcoming community.

 

1st belly pic... just ate mac and cheese for the 1st time in...decades??? SO decadent! 20220122_210812.thumb.jpg.07b701becfa8992121fb20cbb73deeaf.jpg

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2 hours ago, CherryCheesecake said:

Re: CherryCheesecake 

Hi there, thought I'd introduce myself here- I haven't anywhere else. Even when I was younger my weight fluctuated. As a 10-15 yo I was called all the familiar names, teased for not only my weight but for having a deep southern accent after moving to the west coast. As a teenager all of a sudden I blossomed and had curves where society said they belonged. I hung around catty girls who made fun of overweight people. I got married to a very violent man. After it was over, I was diagnosed with PTSD and needed to be heavily medicated. I grew as a side effect of my meds. I have HUGE stretch marks as a side effect of my pregnancies and also had gestational diabetes which has blossomed into pre-diabetes. In 2017 I was a size 20, lost weight, in 2019 127 and size 4. But I had deprived myself for SO long of carbs, all sugars, and social eating - one day I just caved. Don't even remember what kind of food it was... pizza night, French bread and cheese, breading on chicken, pancakes or real cheesecake. The rest is history. Last year I was a size 12. Today, I have no idea what size I am. I've been too self conscious to go shopping so I just wear old leggings and baggy sweaters. The same two. I just invested in pjs that fit and feel so soft, warm and sexy on my skin. They are a leopard print. You know, supposedly a "hot" or "sexy" print. But I don't feel it.  I have tried everything to lose the weight again, but my body just wants to gain. I have asthma so it takes up a lot of money for my medication; heart disease, stroke and colon impactions run in my family. I'm trying to embrace this body, but I am concerned about dying too early for my son sometimes. And does anyone else have trouble with their belly sticking to itself when you scrub too hard and leaving rashes? Lol. Thank you for reading, if you've read this far and thank you SO MUCH for being such an amazing welcoming community.

 

1st belly pic... just ate mac and cheese for the 1st time in...decades??? SO decadent! 20220122_210812.thumb.jpg.07b701becfa8992121fb20cbb73deeaf.jpg

I am very attracted to your beautiful belly and deep bellybutton 💕😍

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Guest CherryCheesecake
7 hours ago, SVegan said:

I am very attracted to your beautiful belly and deep bellybutton 💕😍

WOW! I never thought I would hear that from anyone. My life has been centered around fat shamers. My former husband and the children that I brought into the world who contributed completely to this deep belly button are super embarrassed by me being overweight. No one has seen this deep belly button and stuck around. Thank you and will you marry me, lol!❤️🥰

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Guest CherryCheesecake
8 hours ago, extra_m13 said:

thanks for sharing, you have come to the right place to celebrate it all in life, specially if it involves food and curves! 

Thank you so much for your support, encouragement and hope🥰!

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