Is it bad to mention my fetish on dating apps?

[ash22]

I want to try my best to not be a weird match as I always go for chubby girls. In my city (Toronto), it’s rare to find girls who are into gaining weight for their partner. How can I make someone I get matched with feel open to the fetish? Like it’s hard to see girls let go, and I also want to be intimate honestly.

In terms of Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, and Facebook Dating, would it be a bad idea to mention that I like chubby girls in my bio? Or is it worse if I mention feederism

[Knew]

Like who you like and just let that be your filter rather than any bio element. Especially with dating apps, where there is a plethora of options for everyone, your aim should be to match with people who might be compatible and go from there with messages and initial meet-ups.

Do not, on any accounts, ever include fetish or kink stuff in a dating profile. It is a waste of space that you can use to portray yourself more. No one wants to match with a person who thinks that has their fetishes on display for everyone is a good trait, since 1) it makes them think that they're only matching to fulfill the fetish and don't care about the person they match with, and 2) fetishes and kinks do not define who you are as a person. 

[ash22]

 

11 minutes ago, Knew said:

Like who you like and just let that be your filter rather than any bio element. Especially with dating apps, where there is a plethora of options for everyone, your aim should be to match with people who might be compatible and go from there with messages and initial meet-ups.

Do not, on any accounts, ever include fetish or kink stuff in a dating profile. It is a waste of space that you can use to portray yourself more. No one wants to match with a person who thinks that has their fetishes on display for everyone is a good trait, since 1) it makes them think that they're only matching to fulfill the fetish and don't care about the person they match with, and 2) fetishes and kinks do not define who you are as a person. 

What if I like chubby girls as a preference? That way they feel loved like they’re the center of the universe.

I understand where you’re coming from since as of writing this, I didn’t mention the fetish in any of the dating apps I’m on.

Also, Toronto isn’t quite popular with this fetish as while there are a lot of chubby girls, it isn’t like the states or the uk in terms of hope popular feederism and weight gain are

[MaisieMuffin CLIPS]

I've playfully alluded to it.
You could try something in the vein of how food is your love language and/or how you're bad for diets. Maybe a little winky emoji. You could also just mention that you're kinky, which could mean any number of things. I've seen a ton of profiles that mention being into kink.

And although you don't necessarily need to mention it on your profile, I think it's good to mention it early on, just so you know you're not wasting your time (that's assuming it's important or something you need in a relationship). I've come to the point where I know anyone worth dating is going to, although not necessarily share my kink, at least be accepting/supportive of it.

[ash22]

Thanks for the advice!

[ash22]

2 hours ago, ChubbyMuffin said:

I've playfully alluded to it.
You could try something in the vein of how food is your love language and/or how you're bad for diets. Maybe a little winky emoji. You could also just mention that you're kinky, which could mean any number of things. I've seen a ton of profiles that mention being into kink.

And although you don't necessarily need to mention it on your profile, I think it's good to mention it early on, just so you know you're not wasting your time (that's assuming it's important or something you need in a relationship). I've come to the point where I know anyone worth dating is going to, although not necessarily share my kink, at least be accepting/supportive of it.

If I get matched to a chubby girl and told her I’m kinky, do I mention the fetish or nah. I’ll just compliment her curves or rolls

[Bleeker]

6 minutes ago, ash22 said:

If I get matched to a chubby girl and told her I’m kinky, do I mention the fetish or nah. I’ll just compliment her curves or rolls

I mean, take the fetish out of it--commenting on someone's body in the first few messages is likely to be pretty off-putting. Let's say you were lucky enough to find someone who DOES have the fetish--bringing it up that early or putting it in your profile could even be off-putting to that person. I would recommend just being normal and have fun meeting cute chubby chicks and see where things go. Or, you can try apps/sites specifically for this kind of thing. 

[extra_m13]

bad or not, it usually doesnt end well, probably too soon ... but i do agree that there are ways to signal that we prefer curves over bones and such, not gym rats, no fit junkies could work in a way lol at the end, that is what those apps are for, so, there is nothing to lose in trying different ways to communicate i guess 

[ash22]

I just want to be perfect guys, and I really want a gf so bad

[MaisieMuffin CLIPS]

16 hours ago, ash22 said:

If I get matched to a chubby girl and told her I’m kinky, do I mention the fetish or nah. I’ll just compliment her curves or rolls

So if she asks about your kinks or you've gotten to where you're both sharing your kinks or sexual taste, then be open and honest.

DON'T say anything AT ALL about her body. So often, guys start mentioning early on how attractive they find a girl.... but that's already implied. Like, you wouldn't be talking with them if you weren't attracted to them, and vice versa. Hearing a guy try to compliment how beautiful or sexy I am right off the bat is a big turn off. It's also just plain dull. Most girls have heard it a thousand times already.

Also, your liking or preferring chubby girls doesn't make you special. LOADS of guys like big girls. You don't need to broadcast that you're specifically or unusually attracted to larger figures. Again, why would you be talking with them if you weren't?

To me, it's less weird and off-putting to discuss kink than it is body type or preference. That said, make sure to be somewhat descriptive and thorough when you do reveal your kink, i.e., let her know that you don't need your partner to gain weight in order to satisfy you, and that your kink can be practiced in a fun, consensual way that doesn't require she change her physical appearance for you. If, however, you absolutely need someone who's going to gain for you, then don't waste your time on generic, vanilla apps; there are f_EE_d-ist and fat-specific sites and apps out there and those are going to be your best bet.

[vpprof]

On 1/5/2022 at 10:36 PM, ash22 said:

I want to try my best to not be a weird match as I always go for chubby girls.

Don't you worry about being a disingenuous match? 👀

18 hours ago, ash22 said:

I just want to be perfect guys, and I really want a gf so bad

🤦‍♂️oh my… now that's a combo that always ruins everything. Like, both of these things are deadly on their own but put together… 😶 oof

[ash22]

Oof

[vpprof]

You don't want to know why?

[gta]

Are you looking for a long-term relationship, or a hook-up to satisfy sexual energy? If it's the former, get to know the person a bit before diving into intimate fantasies. Being so up front with what you like can be off-putting for people looking to be serious in their dating options. How would putting your love of chubby girls in your profile be any different than a guy putting "I love huge boobs" on his profile? Try to have a dating identity beyond what turns you on.

Unless online dating has changed (I met my wife on match years ago), you could filter potential matches by their reported body type. I looked for women who were honest about their body type, and were either indifferent or accepting about being plus sized. That was more important to me in the long term, to find someone comfortable in their own skin. Being with someone seriously requires investing in their sense of self, not just their physical appearance.