Was a runner

[RunnerP]

The first two chapters of a story I’m working on. Tell me what you think.

Chapter 1 

Ava, who had just turned 19 was about to enter her first year of college. Hawking university was a small school set in upstate New York, and Ava was recruited to run on the cross country team. Ava was a talented runner who stood 5 foot 7 and weighed 112 pounds. However Ava had not always been rail thin, her last high school season she weighed 132 pounds, the biggest and most curvy of her team mates. The coach of Hawking University’s cross country team Dan Makers convinced Ava to get down to 115 pounds, and Ava being a competitive person made it a goal of hers to weigh less than what was asked of her to show that she was committed. Avas parents were driving her across the country from their home in Oregon up to New York and all she could think about was consuming all the hamburgers and fries from the fast food restaurants she would pass by, but instead when they stopped to eat she would half of a salad and a cup of coffee to limit her appetite. Ava had finally arrived to Hawking, and made it to her dorm where she would be living with another member of their cross country team. Ava was first in the dorm and unpacked and had said good bye to her parents, and she was exhausted so she had decided to take a nap. When Ava woke up she saw a girl with a tight but large ass unpacking her stuff into the dorm. Ave had said hello, and the girl introduced herself. “Hello friend, I’m Ruby.” Ruby was a light skinned girl who stood 5’3 and probably weighed 106 pounds of pure muscle. She had short blonde hair that was cut into a bob. Ava being Italian had long dark brown hair and a dark complexion. Room 205 definitely had two good looking girls living in it. 

 

Chapter 2 Practice

Pre season practice had started for the team and the first thing they did was weigh in. 16 girls stood in a line nearly naked and got measured with their coaches taking down notes. The girl in front of Ava was called up to the scale and she had looked like she didn’t work out all summer. Ava had been fixed on this girls round ass which were barely fitting in her spandex. The girl got off the scale and the coach had yelled the number so everyone could hear it “146 pounds!” The coach then said “Emma, you are this teams only senior and the best runner we had, what the hell happened?” Ashamed,Emma didn’t say anything but as Ava looked up she could almost see a little smirk on Emma’s face as if she gained weight on purpose. Ava had got on the scale and the number read out 111 pounds, the coaches were pleased, Ava felt like she was happy but deep inside her brain she wondered what it would feel like to be Emma’s size. 

[RunnerP]

Chapter 3: The beginning of something 

the season has started And Ava had dominated pre season workouts and was becoming one of the teams best runners. Ruby, Ava’s roommate had also excelled during preseason and although they’ve developed a friendship they also had bit of a rivalry going on between them. Ruby being shorter though was always finishing behind Ava in runs due to Ava’s long powerful legs. Emma, however the senior who seemed to put on weight had only continued to gain. At the weigh in before the first race she had got up to 163 pounds. And the coaches had made the decision to put her on probation until she lost some weight. This however was probably a mistake because now with her not running gaining weight would be much easier. Ava had developed a bit of a crush on Emma, she admired her large muscular quads that would pound the ground when she ran, much slower but because Ava was faster when she was finished with the route she could watch Emma struggle to carry all the new added weight that seemed to rest on her stomach and ass. Even though Emma had gone up a size in spandex she needed an even bigger size but the coaches wouldn’t order it for her so she looked with a stuffed sausage which really turned on Ava. Ava was never really into girls but seeing this girls body develop and change into a soft curvy figure woke something up in her. And Ava wanted to find out what was going on with Emma’s expanding waistline.  

 

Chapter 4: Victory

Ava had won her first race of the season in the Freshman race and the coaches told her if she kept it up she would join varsity for their next race. Ava was ecstatic and because of this she had built up some courage to ask Emma to hang out later tonight. Ruby from a distance who came in second for the team behind Ava, had wondered what she was talking to the teams cow about.  Ruby asked and Ava’s face got bright red “it’s nothing” Ava said. “just two teammates hanging out.” Ruby had hoped Ava’s friendship with Emma would cause her to gain some weight and cause her to slow down, if not she had prepared to take matters into her own hands.

[RunnerP]

Chapter 5: A plan.

 

Later that night Ava had gone over to Emma’s apartment. Emma being a senior had a place by herself off campus. The last three years of school though she always had a roommate that was on the team, but this past year she had been alone and that’s when her weight really started to increase. Emma ended her junior season weighing 123 pounds, at the time the heaviest of the team but she was muscular and the weight didn’t slow her down. Now reaching 180 pounds after weeks of not running. Emma had looked like a different person. She had went from a 6 pack of muscle to a belly full of fat. Fat had taken over her body and made her soft everywhere. Fitting tighter in her clothes had turned Emma on and each pound she grew more attracted to her self, wondering what 10, 20, 40 more pounds would look like on her. Ava being had gotten down to 109 pounds and had looked frail but still manage to keep a decent sized ass. At the weigh ins at the beginning of the season knew she had caught Ava’s attention and wanted to gain more to see how she would respond to her growing body. So she was excited that they were hanging out tonight. 

Meanwhile back at the dorm ruby had been alone and was wondering to her self how could she get Ava to slow down so she would become the teams best freshman. After thinking she had decided she was going to fatten her teammate so that she would no longer be the coaches favorite. She had went to local supplement store and had gotten some mass gainer. She got the kind her body builder brother had recommended to her knowing that it caused him to gain 30 pounds in a month. Ruby had hoped for more so she also got some appetite increaser pills just in case. 

Ruby had no idea Emma and her had the same plans for Ava. 

[RunnerP]

Chapter 6: 

Ava had arrived to Emma’s house and Emma had a pizza delivered to her house so that two could eat and watch a movie. Emma had known she was probably going to have to eat the whole pizza but she didn’t mind because she wanted to reach 200 pounds by the middle of the cross country season. Emma was wearing a tight tank top that was showing off her large belly and even bigger boobs, and Ava was mesmerized. Emma noticed but didn’t say anything. The movie was going on and Emma had ate all but one slice of the pizza. She had noticed Ava was staring at it. Emma said “one slice isn’t going to kill you.” And Ava decided she was right and ate the pizza. She hadn’t had a piece of pizza in over a year and she couldn’t explain how happy she was. Emma was turned on and started to kiss Ava. Ava kissed back and started feeling her body. She loved touching every inch of her soft skin, wondering what how she would feel if emma was bigger, wondering how all this weight would feel on herself. She was soaking wet and Emma started to finger Ava and a couple minutes later she came. Laying next to each other Ava touching Emma’s stomach, thinking of questions to ask Emma. She was nervous so the room grew quiet but Emma broke the ice and said “I’ve gained 57 pounds in 6 months, and I feel fantastic about it.” Ava wet again had started to finger Emma, and feeling her large DD cup breasts that had grown from an A cup just 6 months prior. Emma had finished and asked Ava if she wanted to start dating exclusively. Ava had agreed but wondered if Emma had plans of gaining more weight. Emma said she had wanted to gain to 200 and eventually up to 223 for an 100 pound gain, and she had asked Ava if she would be there to help her. Ava enthusiastically said yes. Emma though wanted more of Ava, and had decided to ask if she would consider gaining 10 pounds. Ava knew she was close to cracking the varsity lineup but she had also really liked Emma, and 10 pounds wouldn’t slow her down that much so she agreed. Emma was turned on so she went to the fridge and brought out a cake to feed to Ava.

[riptoryx]

Hm. Well, I'm keen on the general themes: athletic gals, university-setting wing spreading, conflicted sentiments about weight, possible sabotage and role-reversal stuff, etc.

As for some constructive criticism: the pacing feels a bit rushed to me; the formatting could use some attention (each "chapter" is just a solid block of text); and overall I think it would be helpful to lean a bit less heavily on exposition (i.e., summarily describing what happened) in favor of more in-the-moment dialogue and action (i.e., letting the reader "observe" the events as they happen).

Anyway, I hope you'll continue!

[richman92]

Not bad! Like riptoryx already mentioned, slower pacing could be nicer. Still, the story is quite enjoyable. I really hope next part will come soon.

[RunnerP]

Thank you guys for the comments, I should be adding more to it soon. I had a death in the family so I’ve been busy recently.