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Catwoman Climbs the Chonk Chart


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3 hours ago, Mr.Grignard said:

Did you know that smaller predator species like cats have developed slit shaped pupils to increase their depth perception while hiding in tall grass?That’s why taller animals and birds have round pupils, including tigers, even though they are still technically cats. 

I always thought it was a nocturnal adaptation... but what shape would wide animals have? 😏

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The final (?) chapter! This one is really long, which is why it’s been a few days. 
 

Hic!”

               Catwoman had faced death more often than most anyone in the dining hall. She’d fought dozens of thugs at once, outsmarted GCPD manhunts, and beaten villains barely even human – all while flirtaceously mocking them. She knew how to control her heartbeat, how to steady shaking hands, and focus through tense moments that would leave even the strongest of men in a cold sweat. 

Yet somehow, this moment was different. She still maintained a graceful composure under the keen gaze of her billionaire heartthrob non-boyfriend, but her hiccups just wouldn’t stop!

“Bruce, darling!” Catwoman put on her widest, warmest grin. “I wasn’t expecting you so f – hic! So far from home…” she flushed furiously at her body’s betrayal. The hiccups were making her tits bounce out of place! She desperately wanted to adjust them, but resisted the impulse. “This might sound harsh, but I was expecting some – hic – one else.”

“Alfred was the one who made the call,” Bruce replied flatly. “A quick investigation of Isley’s lair was enough to learn that she no longer had it – and who did.”

“Really Bruce…” she swallowed slowly, struggling to contain another hiccup. “I may have visited Ivy recently, but that doesn’t mean that I took your toy. I’m not always catburglaring… but then again, maybe I misplaced it. We should talk about it.” through triumphant effort, she anticipated the next hiccup and stifled it into a silent quake that made her bloated body bounce.

“May I take a seat?”

“Oh, of course! Hope you don’t mind the plates; the waiter hasn’t come in ten minutes.”

Bruce edged into place opposite her, demeanour instantly softening into a suave smile. He’s putting on his playboy role, Catwoman realized instantly. That means he’s going for a subtle approach. Good.

“That’s an interesting disguise,” he noted.

“This?” she lay a hand against the rounded dome of her new belly. “Oh Bruce, you really should learn how to flirt properly. You should never talk about a woman’s weight.”

“It’s not like you to wear anything that could compromise your movements…” he motioned an approaching butler. “Same drink as hers, please.”

“And another for me,” Catwoman added. “And Brucie… I appreciate the humour – especially coming from you – but I really would like to know how to reverse the effects of this tech of yours.”

“If you used the tech, I can’t guarantee your hard-drive would synchronize properly. It’s not Windows 10 compatible, after all.”

“Well, I’m certainly not talking about – wait…” her eyes widened as it dawned upon her what was really happening. “Bruce? What exactly does your tech do?

“It’s a prototype for a new line of Wayne-tech software – a front for reprogramming my cryptographic sequencer.”

“And what does the crypto sequencer do?”

“Decoding.”

I can’t believe this! Catwoman thought to herself. Is that what this stupid bauble between my tits does? But if what he says is true, then what’s making me so famished and bloated? Ivy must have tricked me somehow. What do I do now? Do I tell him this is all me? Do I admit that I’m fat? I could never live that down! But if I don’t, I’ll have to take care of Ivy myself, and at this rate I’ll barely be able to fit through her door. You have to tell him, Selina. Be a big girl and get this over with.

Taking a deep breath, Catwoman paused to gather her thoughts before speaking. “Are you sure that’s all it does?”

“Positive,” Bruce paused to accept the two cocktails from the waiter. “Thank you.”

“And waiter, could you be a doll and take all these plates? Thanks love.”

As the waiter obliged, Bruce eyed the empty plates covering the table with constrained interest.

“You finished all these plates yourself?” he asked.

“Yes… well… do I really have to spell it out for you? Bruce, it tickles me that you can be so smart and yet so painfully dim all at once.”

“What are you hiding Selina?”

“I’m fat,” Selina slapped her hands to her sides, belly shaking and touching the table’s edge.

Bruce’s eyes widened. “What?”

“I’m fat, I can’t stop eating, and it hasn’t even been two days! At first I thought it was yourfault because, well… now that I know better, there’s only one other person it could be who’s causing this.”

“Ivy,” Bruce scowled.

“Of course she’d do something like this; she always struck me as rather jealous. But Brucie, if you could help a woman in need, I’ll make sure you get your toy back. Does that sound fine?”

“I’ll be taking it regardless,” he replied. “But I’ll oblige.”

“Thank you so much,” Catwoman took a sip of her second cocktail with a slight twitch of her nose. “It’s such a pleasure to… to…” against her will, a short sneeze forced itself out of her lungs. “Really! What is that in the air?” she tugged at the sides of her bodysuit to squeeze her swollen breasts back into place. “Is that… pollen…?”

They were interrupted by the sound of the double-door front entrance being ripped from its hinges. Gamblers scrambled and diners screamed as tangle of massive vines crept their way into the room.

“Of course, she’d follow me here,” Catwoman rolled her eyes. “Well, at least that makes it easier for us to… Bruce? Brucie?”

Bruce was gone, having somehow vanished into the fleeing crowd. 

“Does he not want us to be seen together?” she thought coyly. “Can’t say I blame him; who knows how jealous Ivy would be?” then she sighed. “So it’s all up to me… hope Bruce brought a spare ‘suit’ with him.”

A giant bulb reminiscent of the flowers growing outside the patio arched through the doorway and bloomed, revealing none other than the infamous Poison Ivy in all her vibrantly-green splendour – along with the brat who apparently was not her girlfriend.

“Hey-ya losers!” Harley stood proudly by Ivy’s side, cartoonishly-large sledge-hammer resting on her shoulder. “Why don’t ya test yer luck on a game of whack-a-mole?”

“Girl, I told you,” Ivy folded her arms casually. “Whack-a-mole isn’t a casino game.”

“Hey, I spent ten minutes on that line! It’s what I got!”

“Whatever. Everyone’s run away, just like I said they would.”

“Nuh-uh, look! There’s a fat woman hiding behind that table over there! But she’s so fat her ass is stickin’ where I can see it. Ya hear that, lady? I can see you hidin’ so stand up and test yer luck against the side of this bonker!”

Face red with embarrassment and a little exertion, Catwoman rose to her feet and brushed stray crumbs off her burgeoning chest.

“I’m not hiding Harv,” she insisted. “I just dropped something on the floor.”

“Wait…” Harley’s face almost froze mid-gasp before breaking into a maniacal grin. “Puss, is that you? Are you… oh my gawd! Red! Lookit her! She’s turned into a chonker!”

It was enough to get the formerly-svelte femme fatale fuming. To think that Harley – a literal clown – was laughing at her? It was making her blood boil – or perhaps that was her stomach rumbling again.

“Lookit the little fluffer-chonk!” Harley was laughing so hard she had to lean against her non-girlfriend’s shoulder. “Can we keep her, Red, can we keep her? I wanna pet her so bad!”

Resisting the urge to give out a tongue-lashing took all her willpower. She could feel her hands shaking so hard that her upper arms were jiggling in their sleeves, but she also knew that there were more effective ways to get back at Harley – and perhaps work everything out.

“So you two are together after all,” Catwoman grinned, the corner of her mouth twitching.

“That’s not true,” Ivy grumbled. “She’s just helping me out.”

“I promise not to tell Joker – not that we’re on speaking terms.”

“You hear that, Red?” Harley wrapped her arms around Ivy and gave her a squeeze. “She says you act all mushy around me. I bring out the best in ya, don’t I?”

“Harley… ugh. Selina,” Ivy’s face was deadpan as Harley nuzzled her cheek. “You stole what was rightfully mine. I’ve come to take it back.”

“It was a big misunderstanding!” Catwoman replied. “I was only trying to fetch something for…” she paused awkwardly, wondering if she should say “Bruce” or “Batman.” “… for a friend. Something that isn’t yours.”

“You stole my project,” Ivy’s eyes narrowed. “My b**s.

“It was an accident! Obviously, I took the wrong thing, but you can have it back if you help me lose some of this woman weight. Here…”

Catwoman slid a hand into her cavernous cleavage to retrieve the object that had caused her so much grief, frowning as it rolled under one boob away from her fingers. Still, some slight jostling was enough to pluck it free and toss it towards Ivy’s feet. To her surprise, the metallic ball vibrated on impact like an upturned beetle.

“Eh… what is that, Red?” Harley peeked at the buzzing bauble from behind Ivy’s shoulder.

“It’s nothing,” Ivy snapped, cheeks blushing like roses.

“Is that thing a… no way!”

“Don’t…”

“No way! You? That? I thought I was the only one in your love life!”

“We’re not… Harley, we’re not…”

“Ooh, it spins…”

Just as Catwoman was beginning to wonder where exactly the “tech” had been before she put her paws all over it, Ivy’s eyes flashed neon-white with dangerous intensity.

You!” Ivy pointed straight at Catwoman’s skull, red hair bristling. “You will pay for your insolence against Mother Earth! Give me back my children!

“Aw geez!” Harley dove for cover as the plants around her whipped into a frenzy. “Run Chonker! Run fer yer life!”

But Catwoman did not run for her life. “This is all a misunderstanding, Red!” she tried to explain even as she slowly backed away from the approaching vines. “I don’t have your ‘b**s;’ that thing over there is all I took – and I really thought it was something else. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

You disturbed my nursery – scraped through my vents and brushed through my plants! Do you have any idea what you have done? You are filled with pollen, seeded with the fruits of my labour, and they’re beginning to bloom.

“Is that what this is all about? Red, did you make airborne seeds? Is that why I sneeze when you’re around? Is that why I’m like this?”

It’s your own incompetence that has pollinated your body,” Ivy sniffed. “And your own greed that has fed it.

“Ha-ha!” Harley cackled from a hiding spot across the room. “Fatass.”

Catwoman’s leg bumped against the back of the aquarium; she was cornered. “Let’s work something out, then,” she stared nervously upwards as Ivy loomed overhead from a crown of poisonous-looking plants. “I’m sure you know how to…” a stray vine reached for her leg. “…how to…”

You will pay, Selina. My vines will entwine themselves around your limbs and root them to the soil. They will feed you nutrients and water your body, which will grow and ripen under my care, and when I’m done with you, I will finally earn the fruits of my labour.”

“Sorry Red, but I think you misunderstand the purpose of a vegan diet.”

As she spoke, a dark blur smashed through the glass canopy of the casino straight for Poison Ivy. Batman had arrived.

“Selina, go!” Batman yelled as he dropped a smoke grenade at Catwoman’s feet.

“So he did bring a spare suit,” Catwoman thought under the cover of the smoke. “Well, I’d help him, but as they say: ‘ladies first.’”

She took a bold first step forwards, ready to bolt into a breakneck jog for the nearest exit where she could stop to think of her next move. Unfortunately, she was nearly twice the weight and size she was used to.

“Hoo…” she huffed. “This is… hard. These heels were made for walking not… not running…”

With each lumbering stomp of her foot, an earth-shattering quake resonated through her body. Every extra pound the greedy woman had funnelled into her mouth was stuffed wherever it would fit, around thighs that chafed and wobbled against each other, into a belly that shook up and down, into a malleable, quivering ass that shook furiously with the impact of each step, and into massive breasts she’d given up on trying to properly contain.

She didn’t make it further than fifty meters before one of her dangerously-overburdened heels snapped and sent her flailing into a water-fountain. With the way she was gasping for breath, it was almost a mercy.

“My dress!” Catwoman scowled under the downpouring trickle of water from a pissing cupid statuette. “I really… hate getting wet…”

You’ll hate it more in a moment.”

Catwoman was choosing between two racy one-liners when her train of thought was interrupted by a loud, ominous rumbling her belly.

“What on Earth…” she lay a hand against it and felt its soft surface shake under her fingers. “Red! Stop this nonsense!”

From the dissipating entrails of smoke in the midst of the casino floor, Poison Ivy rose triumphantly into view, looming overhead as a wild mix of flowers bloomed all around her midst.

“The first step for nursing a new plant is to provide it nutrients, which you have clearly done without my help,” the green red-head smirked faintly. “The next step is providing plenty of water.”

“Oh…” Catwoman winced as her belly surged an extra few inches. “…why even… Red, this is making it worse! I bloat too easily on water, so I really suggest—”

Be silent, my pet. Just watch as you become my incubator.”

Helpless, Catwoman leaned back on her arms and stared down the front of her tightening bodysuit as her belly swelled. Constant feedings and binges had already fattened her tight core into a bulging, jiggly ball that was constantly overstuffed with an ever-increasing food-baby. Now it expanded with a life of its own, rapidly surpassing the size of a watermelon. The cougar spots printed across the soft, fuzzy fabric began to stretch as they struggled to contain a body ballooning several pounds a second.

To think that you could see and feel your perfect little body plumping-up and still you chose to stuff your face,” Ivy smiled as she waved her hands and directed her plants like a maestro. “Even I didn’t expect you to be so greedy. This year’s batch is going to be sumptuously ripe.”

To Catwoman’s horror, it wasn’t just her belly that was growing. An audible gurgling that tickled her nipples signalled the onset of a growth spurt in her twins. Barely confined in bra cups designed for a much more agile figure, the fleshy mounds that her breasts had become pushed painfully outwards in all directions, only succeeding in swelling upwards. When she reached up to adjust their fit, she stared in shock at a hand that had grown puffy and smooth, each finger thickened like sausages. When she gasped, she felt the skin under her chin bulge and fold. She reached-up with mounting panic to feel her cheekbones replaced with round, fleshy skin and deep dimples.

You should be proud,” Ivy descended into the fountain on a stairway of greenery. “You cared for my brood far better than I could. Just look at the size of you. Not even two days since your visit and you’ve grown from an emaciated stalk and bloomed into a beautiful blossom.”

“Yes, Red, I’m fat,” Catwoman rolled her eyes as she sat back against the cupid statuette. “And I really am done with this, if you don’t mind?”

Poison Ivy traced her fingers over the engorged woman’s beachball-sized gut with a light chuckle before answering. “I’m afraid blossoming was only your second stage. Now it is time for you to ripen into a mouth-watering fruit.”

“These plant analogies are getting tiresome. I say we –”

Vines ambushed her from behind and grabbed at the corners of her mouth. More tangled around her arms and legs before she could struggle.

I say we continue.

“And I say that’s enough,” a gravely voice answered in turn. “Stand down, Isley.”

“Batman…” Poison Ivy raised her hands as the Dark Knight grabbed a fistful of her hair in his black fist. “How did you…?”

“Tell your plants to let her go. I’m asking nicely.”

The inhuman glow in Ivy’s eyes faded away, pupils coming back into focus. “But… she has my seeds!”

“I’m not going to ask again –”

Just as Ivy’s plants began to unravel, Catwoman’s bodysuit finally had enough and split straight down the middle. Copious amounts of tanned, doughy belly-fat poured through the widening gap.

Poison Ivy and Batman stared at the sight for a moment before turning their attentions back to each other.

“There better be a way to fix this,” Batman sneered.

“I was fixing it,” Ivy said, crestfallen. “She stole my seeds and they need to be mature before they come out.”

“For the last time!” Catwoman sighed, trying and failing to lift herself to her feet. “I didn’t steal your seeds! It was a complete accident!”

“You wouldn’t have ingested them if you hadn’t snuck through my vent – but that’s exactly what you did because you came to steal!

“Enough!” Batman held out his hands. “There’s more to this than any of us can see. We need to discuss exactly what happened together. Agreed?”

“Very well,” Poison Ivy sighed, shoulders slumping.

“Fine by me,” Catwoman said. “So long as it ends up with me being thin again.”

“This includes you, Harley,” Batman added. “Stop sneaking-up behind me.”

“Aw shucks,” Harley lowered the hammer as she walked into view. “How the shit did you even know I was there?”

“Through the reflection in the water,” Batman replied. “And the smell.”

Shade! Whateva, I’m still gorgeous.”

 

Ten minutes later, Batman was standing at a dining table opposite Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn while Catwoman remained in the fountain behind them, hopelessly huge as ever.

“It’s time to review,” Batman traced his finger through the fine layer of broken glass on the tabletop as he mapped the timeline. “Tech from WayneTech Industries was stolen a week ago – but by an unknown third party, not you.”

“Correct,” Ivy folded her arms, lips pursed.

“You obtained the tech as you built your new lair in the abandoned Ace Chemicals plant. At some point Catwoman got word of it and decided to steal it for herself. She broke in through the vents, disturbed five different nursery beds of experimental, hyper-growing plants, and proceeded to take what she thought was the tech, but was actually something else.”

“…yes,” Ivy looked away, blushing.

“That doesn’t concern me. What does concern me is how to get Catwoman back to normal.”

“The seeds have infused with her body,” Ivy explained. “Forming a symbiotic relationship until maturity that –”

“In English, Red,” Harley nudged her. “This is B-man we’re talkin’ to.”

Ivy groaned. “We need to juice her.”

“Did you just say what I thought you said?” Catwoman asked from the fountain. “Thanks, but I think I’d prefer a C-section.”

“That would just take too long,” Ivy shook her head. “You’re already the size of a hippo.”

“Literally,” Harley chimed-in.

“And by the time we got you to a hospital, you wouldn’t fit in the operating room.”

“I was being obtuse, Red,” Catwoman grunted as she tried and failed to reach the end of her giant belly. “Of course, I don’t mind the juicing. Much. Whatever gets me back into shape fastest. But dare I ask what you want the ‘seeds’ for?”

“Fertilizer,” Ivy’s lip twitched into a smile. “Ironically.”

“Right. Well, could we have this done somewhere more private and comfortable?”

“There’s a tropical lagoon just outside the city where I can fix her,” Ivy said. “If you can help me carry her there, I can have the job done by sunrise.”

“I have the batwing on standby. I’ll tether her to its hull and lift her to your designated location – and doctor…” Batman stared into her soul. “I’ll be watching. Have the tech ready for me when we get back to Gotham as well.”

“So long as we’re not arrested again,” Ivy replied.

 

Two Days Later

 

               “Congratulations sir,” Alfred’s voice scratched through the Dark Knight’s mic. “Another mission accomplished – and entirely without bloodshed.”

               “Don’t jinx it, Alfred,” Batman replied. “Selina might be back in fighting shape, but the tech is still not in our hands.”

               “Well, I’m sure Dr. Isley has no reason for betraying your trust. You know the location of her new lair, of course.”

               “I’m approaching it now. I see her and Harley standing outside the front entrance… hold on, Alfred. I’ll contact you later.”

               Harley and Ivy certainly were together, and they were joined by Catwoman, who was once again her normal size and in gear. Ivy, however, was sporting a new ** belly.

               “I see you’ve made up,” Batman stated flatly as he approached.

               “You could say that,” Ivy grumbled.

               “Red stepped in her own fertilizer,” Harley snickered. “What a klutz!”

               “Harley, shut it!”

               “It’s alright honeybun,” Catwoman purred as she rubbed the green botanist’s protruding gut. “You helped me through my ordeal, so it’s only fair I return the favour. I’m going to take very good care of you.”

               “Where’s the stolen tech?” Batman asked, unfazed.

               “Here…” Ivy handed Batman a small, decorated jewellery box. “It was in this when I took it.”

               “Well,” Catwoman smiled. “If that’s all, I think it’s time I took my friend here back inside. You must be starving Red.”

               “Not really…”

               “Oh, you don’t have to lie. I know exactly what a woman like you needs. Now come inside with me and Harv. We’ve got you more Chinese takeout.”

               “Can I feed her next?” Harley jumped excitedly.

               “We’ll do it together,” Catwoman smirked. “Look at how big you’re getting, Red! Six hours and you’re already starting to show! That means you’re even hungrier. Come. Let’s get you seated inside. We’ll give you belly rubs…”

               Unfettered by the three women departing back into the abandoned factory, Batman fixed his full attention to the jewellery box.

               “Odd,” he told himself. “It wasn’t in a box when it was lost…”

               He pried the lid open with ease – there being no lock to hinder him – but instead of what he sought, there was, instead, yet another false lead, and this one was in the shape of a neon-green question mark.

               “Ah, greetings Dark Knight!” a high-pitched, nasally voice emanated from a hidden microphone. “Perhaps your dim-witted neanderthal brain is wondering where his treat is. Know that your search has only just begun, for I, the Riddler, have snatched your prize like a chess-master checkmating a child! If only I could see the look on your face now! Perhaps it will comfort you to know that you may keep the trophy. May it remind you of my intellectual superiority over the ‘world’s greatest detective!’”

               Batman closed the box. “Number two hundred twenty-six. For the batcave.”

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24 minutes ago, K-day said:

So what's up with ivy's belly? I didn't really get what was up with it. 

So, like, you know how Catwoman trampled several nursery beds and accidentally pollinated/seeded herself? Ivy did the same thing — which really sucks considering how she knows where she’s planted what

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Guest K-day
28 minutes ago, >_< 0_0 said:

So, like, you know how Catwoman trampled several nursery beds and accidentally pollinated/seeded herself? Ivy did the same thing — which really sucks considering how she knows where she’s planted what

Maybe she knew what she was doing, since she knew where the plants were? 🤔

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