girlfriend out of shape

[carlo94]

Hello everyone. I just signed up and I like overweight women. My girlfriend is, too. She's not obese but definitely fat. In fact, she weighs about 80 kg or 176 lbs and is 157 cm or 5'3" tall. But she's definitely out of shape because she's never played sports in her life and she's very lazy.

I guess a lot of other users also have a pretty fat girlfriend or wife.

My question is: have you ever seriously feared for her health?

I ask this because a few days ago I was really scared. We live in a fourth floor apartment and a few days ago there was a broken elevator. My girlfriend then tried to walk up the stairs but didn't make it. She phoned me (I was in the house) and she was stuck on the second floor completely breathless. I even thought she had a heart attack. I managed to calm her down and after half an hour she managed to walk with me helping her. She had to stop other times but we finally got home. She was totally breathless and forceless.

I am very concerned because she is only 25 years old and I am afraid she may have serious problems in the future.

Has anyone been in such a situation?

[BindsThatTie]

She should contact her physician immediately.

Being out of breath is normal, but that episode sounds far from normal for someone her size.

Within 2 years of fast gaining, my wife's cholesterol was out of control for her age. She's on a medication right now, and her levels are normal even with her gaining diet.

[carlo94]

Sorry first of all if I posted in a wrong section.

Thanks for the repley. The idea of seeing a doctor sounds good.

When the accidend appened she was very scared and swore she would change her diet and get more exercise.

But I already know she won't do any of that.

Pheraps with the advice of a doctor it could help her to modify her life a little

[Tegass]

My gf being out of shape means that after walking up the stairs she be panting not that she can't walk up the stairs.

[vpprof]

I was about to comment the same thing, it's not her 80 kg that's the problem. Mightn't she have had an undiagnosed case of Covid perhaps?

If not, this could be a serious heart condition, I consulted a cardiologist after a serious flu and distinctly remember him asking me if I get out of breath walking upstairs. Let her see her doctor. First you need to know what's causing the problem.

[extra_m13]

you are in the right section i think. my lady is about the same height, at 1.54cm and weighing around 90kg, i do hope to take her to 100/110kg range. she is in the obese category juding by bmi. and she doesnt exercise regularly, light walks are the most intense thing she does. i do not expect her to run a marathon and she does get out of breath when trying to run or go fast around some stairs but that goes with the package. some physical activity is recommended and of course awareness about unusual pains or struggles. now... about worrying about health. i do think there is a point where long term wellbeing can be a concern. these ladies ar 500, 600 pounds as fantastic as it sounds and looks it would worry me if my lady gets completely out of breath after walking a few steps. not a good sign definitely. but again, so hot...

[carlo94]

Thanks for the replies.
To answer everyone: she has no COVID or other diseases, we are sure. The main problem is that my girlfriend gives up quickly when she has to make an effort. In that situation on the stairs she was stuck and she tried to walk again and was out of breath and without strength. She also panicked. I hadn't written it before but when she phoned me to call me she was crying with fright.
However, the doctor advised her to do a stress test. That is, she has to walk on a treadmill or ride an exercise bike while the doctors test her heart.
The doctor also said that a problem could be that she has few muscles and they get tired quickly blocking her when she has to put in some kind of effort.

[You have a gut]

4 hours ago, carlo94 said:

Thanks for the replies.
To answer everyone: she has no COVID or other diseases, we are sure. The main problem is that my girlfriend gives up quickly when she has to make an effort. In that situation on the stairs she was stuck and she tried to walk again and was out of breath and without strength. She also panicked. I hadn't written it before but when she phoned me to call me she was crying with fright.
However, the doctor advised her to do a stress test. That is, she has to walk on a treadmill or ride an exercise bike while the doctors test her heart.
The doctor also said that a problem could be that she has few muscles and they get tired quickly blocking her when she has to put in some kind of effort.

My girlfriend also stops after a few yards when she tries to jog because she panics when she starts feeling out of breath. I tried to make her understand that she needs to feel a little disconfort in order to progressively improve her fitness and nothing bad is going to happen, but obviously she doesn't want it bad enough to put up with the stress so she gave up trying. But wow, panicking while walking up the stairs to the point of getting stuck and having to phone you seems like she really has a problem, either a physical one or an anxiety one.

[Guest Soja]

Yeah, basically what these guys are saying is her being that breathless isn't a weight thing because she's not that large. There's being a bit out of shape, which is what the numbers you gave suggest, and actuallly being serious health problem sized fat.

So either she has some mental health problem related to anxiety or a very serious respiratory problem.

[vpprof]

16 hours ago, carlo94 said:

She also panicked. I hadn't written it before but when she phoned me to call me she was crying with fright.

Sounds like a panic attack to me. That'd explain the breathlessness. But let her do a stress test anyway.

16 hours ago, carlo94 said:

The doctor also said that a problem could be that she has few muscles and they get tired quickly blocking her when she has to put in some kind of effort.

Like walking upstairs? 😯 Come on, she's not a gravely ill patient lying in bed all day. 

[carlo94]

It certainly was panic rather than a real physical problem. This comforts me a little. I think after two flights of stairs she started to feel tired and at the thought of being only halfway there she got scared. She was also ashamed that anyone else could see her in such trouble. Of course, crying and moaning on public stairs could attract the attention of the neighbors and all of this made things worse.

[carlo94]

On 2/12/2021 at 3:53 AM, vpprof said:

Come on, she's not a gravely ill patient lying in bed all day

It is true that she is not sick and in bed but she has never played sports and has always tried to walk as little as possible, always using the car. Since COVID began (March 2019) she works from home with the computer and therefore she almost never goes out and moves very little

[vpprof]

On 2/13/2021 at 8:32 AM, carlo94 said:

It is true that she is not sick and in bed but she has never played sports and has always tried to walk as little as possible, always using the car. Since COVID began (March 2019) she works from home with the computer and therefore she almost never goes out and moves very little

Yes but to get to the stage where you cannot go upstairs she'd have to have muscle atrophy.

On the other hand, physical inactivity is known to elevate stress levels. On top of that, the fact that she doesn't go out much may also indicate stress / depression / other issues.

[Softestgirl222]

Yes this certainly sounds like a panic attack (I’ve had many). Like you said, she probably started to get out of breath which then tricked her body into thinking something was very wrong and caused a panic attack. 
when I first started gaining weight, I would have panic attacks if I could feel my heart rate increase, which would of course make it even faster, because I was convinced I was having a heart attack. After therapy, getting medicated for anxiety and an underlying condition, it’s worked itself out and very rare panic attacks now 

[PhatCat]

My girlfriend also gets panic attacks when she has unexpected minor issues with her body. So it makes it seem much worse.

I dated someone who was the same height and weight as your girlfriend. This girl could walk up the flights of stairs to my place without trouble, and we'd go on very long walks together. And this girl carried all her weight in her belly and nowhere else. That's the worst kind of weight for one's health.

If your girlfriend is thick all over and it's not just a fat belly, her weight shouldn't be the problem that gets in her way.

[rested]

Thinking back to when my wife was 25 (and around 180lbs, she's now 35 and around 270lbs) ... back then, my wife would be winded after 2 flights of stairs, but would push on, and she's a heavy smoker.

Now, withthe additional 100lbs, 10 yrs, and an addiitonal pack a day of cigarettes, she'd be how you describe your gf, stopping for a short breather halfway, but it's the cigarettes that rob her of breath.

If your gf isn't a heavy smoker, I'd ask her to get it checked out.

[vpprof]

Love the stoical mood 😂

[carlo94]

Thank you all for the answers and for your interest in this issue. To update my girlfriend went to a doctor where she did a stress test on a treadmill. She has no heart problems of any kind even if she normally has a lot of heartbeats even at rest, this already makes her not very resistant to fatigue. The doctor just recommended some exercise and a change in diet by eating more protein. In fact, she practically never eats meat (she is not a vegetarian) but practically lives only on carbohydrates

[vpprof]

OK chief  So what's next on the checklist?

[carlo94]

I come back to talk about my girlfriend after a while. As I imagined she did not follow the advice of the doctor who told her to get some exercise. Indeed, she has become even more lazy and she tries to move as little as possible. For a few months her mother has been retired and she is spoiling her by coming to our house every day, preparing her lunch and doing the housework. So my girlfriend gained some more weight. Minimum 20/25 lbs I think although I'm not sure why she doesn't want to weigh herself.
For two weeks she has been back to work in the office, only 3 days a week, while she was previously working only from home due to COVID limitations.
The office where she works is quite far from our house and she has to take a train and then the subway, quite tiring indeed. When she comes home in the evening she is exhausted. She can only sit on the sofa complaining about how tired she is. Listening to her one would think that she has been working in a mine all day!
However, I hope that this movement will help her if not to lose weight at least to be a little fitter.

[vpprof]

6 hours ago, carlo94 said:

As I imagined she did not follow the advice of the doctor who told her to get some exercise.

I hope you didn't tell her that.

[carlo94]

9 hours ago, vpprof said:

I hope you didn't tell her that.

You mean if I told her I thought she wasn't going to exercise? No I didn't tell her. But I tried to get her to move a little more. Even just walking. But it was useless.

[Chevalier]

I hope you can encourage her to do a bit of exercise, and understand the double role lol with her roll play, pun intended, when intimate. Doesn't help anyone when someone is disabled by their weight, when things break down.

I had to get in better shape myself to tend to my family's needs, which can happen if someone either becomes disabled, or gets dementia through old age.

20 hours ago, carlo94 said:

s I imagined she did not follow the advice of the doctor who told her to get some exercise. Indeed, she has become even more lazy and she tries to move as little as possible. For a few months her mother has been retired and she is spoiling her by coming to our house every day, preparing her lunch and doing the housework. So my girlfriend gained some more weight.

I'm sorry it didn't work.

20 hours ago, carlo94 said:

When she comes home in the evening she is exhausted. She can only sit on the sofa complaining about how tired she is.

That will kill your relationship as you legit can't do anything other than be around her when she sleeps. I remember a woman I was once with who'd always just pass out, and similar to what I said before, I had to get in better shape to take care of the household. Life is unfair sometimes, but I appreciate the post given a forum like this wants to have a fantasy that every pound gained is going to be a happy one.

All I can say is just be tolerant and see if you can do baby steps forward with her; and this is normal for a lot of relationships where the person just becomes completely withdrawn. However, I am not the type to buy into the whole mental illness is an excuse for everything though.

[vpprof]

Well, I think that with the panic she experienced while walking up the stairs and this depressive mood now (constant tiredness), it's pretty clear her mental wellbeing is on the decline here. It's quite sad. And like @Chevalier said, this absolutely has the potential to kill your relationship if you two don't do something about it. Maybe ask her, why she's unhappy as a first step.

[extra_m13]

as much as i prefer to see my girl being a complete couchpotato, some physical activity is good for many reasons, and there are some exercises that increase appetite for sure, swimming or just being in a pool and light walking can help overall for a lot of things