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Do you get turned off if the feedee or gainer clearly isn’t into it?


PreyToGod

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Won’t name any names but yeah, gainers and feedees have their reasons for doing what they do and it’s not always expressing a lifelong kink. 
 

They’re free to do whatever they want but I’m curious if their enthusiasm or lack of enthusiasm or whatever effects how much you enjoy their content? 
 

Personally I’m mostly still into it if the model seems indifferent because I find the physical form and act of stuffing to be sexy, not just what it represents - however if I get the sense that the model would really rather not be doing it but needs to make ends meet (stuff her more than 30 but less than 32 times) ,  that’s when I struggle to feel anything.
 

Over to you 

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21 minutes ago, PreyToGod said:

Won’t name any names but yeah, gainers and feedees have their reasons for doing what they do and it’s not always expressing a lifelong kink. 

Or even a temporary one 👍🏻

Can't speak about "content" but in real life, I have no interest whatsoever in people who don't share the fetish. Such people behave totally differently, in very off-turning ways, and I feel like I'd be taking advantage of them if we got into a relationship. I'd have to live a lie basically.

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5 hours ago, vpprof said:

Or even a temporary one 👍🏻

Can't speak about "content" but in real life, I have no interest whatsoever in people who don't share the fetish. Such people behave totally differently, in very off-turning ways, and I feel like I'd be taking advantage of them if we got into a relationship. I'd have to live a lie basically.

Ah really?

Im not at that level but the girl does have to have a bit of belly fat or im not going to get turned on. But I’m saying that..

A girl had a few dates with, she was kind of chubby in the midsection, anyhow I found her reddit account (accidentally) and a lot of her posts were about weight loss and gaining muscle... I realised it wouldn’t be fair of me to date her long term and try to sort of discourage her from doing what’s going to make her healthier and happier because I’m not into it.

Bur if I only went for those who had the kink in my city I wouldn’t really go for anyone ever so I’m trying to compromise. No one is cool with belly fat outside this community though.

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For me, knowing a model is into gaining and getting off to this just as much as I am is just the best. I like to see people being happy & naughty.  

In my real life I don't really indulge in any of this. Feedism is my only kink I just don't really want it in my relationships, maybe that's weird, I dunno.  

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11 hours ago, PreyToGod said:

I realised it wouldn’t be fair of me to date her long term

My thoughts precisely ☺

11 hours ago, PreyToGod said:

Bur if I only went for those who had the kink in my city I wouldn’t really go for anyone ever

That's why I'm so intent on finding out what the kink is really about: 1) to search for these people more effectively; 2) possibly to be able to live kink-free :D 

Idk, it's just fun to be able to get her aroused by telling her weight gain stories. You feel this sort of "unity" which you don't feel with a kink-less girl.

  

1 hour ago, fattony20 said:

In my real life I don't really indulge in any of this.

Maybe that's the way to go. I tried but there's this nagging feeling that if there are girls who are into it, why not go for it?

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26 minutes ago, vpprof said:

My thoughts precisely ☺

That's why I'm so intent on finding out what the kink is really about: 1) to search for these people more effectively; 2) possibly to be able to live kink-free :D 

Idk, it's just fun to be able to get her aroused by telling her weight gain stories. You feel this sort of "unity" which you don't feel with a kink-less girl.

  

Maybe that's the way to go. I tried but there's this nagging feeling that if there are girls who are into it, why not go for it?

I mean that’s just what works for me.  From my experience, trying to fit a kink into a long term relationship just makes the kink dull out once you get into the comfortable part of the relationship.  Don't get me wrong, getting comfortable with your partner is a good thing and very rewarding, personally I just need my fantasies to have an edge to them.  All that said, I've never dated a girl under 140lbs, I've had some gain naturally, some thin out but I've never tried to introduce my kink into it.  You just need to find what works for you and be honest with your partner about it.

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Your partner doesnt need to be responsible for fulfilling your fantasies, there are many good reasons to leave feeding or a weight gain fetish out of a long term relationship. Sometimes our fantasies can just be fantasies. I visit sites like this specifically to avoid feeling like this is something I need to bring into my normal life. This doesnt mean you should become involved with someone you are not attracted to, that is also not fair. Just date someone you are atractted to and feel an emotional connection with and be present during sex. 

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1 hour ago, boss frond said:

Your partner doesnt need to be responsible for fulfilling your fantasies

I feel being reproached, is that what you're trying to achieve?

1 hour ago, boss frond said:

Sometimes our fantasies can just be fantasies. I visit sites like this specifically to avoid feeling like this is something I need to bring into my normal life.

I have no idea how that's supposed to work. You watch fetish content to avoid acting it out in real life, is that what you're saying?

In any case, it sounds like you're just negating your needs. I know I can do that and put up a smile, indeed, I've been doing that in certain areas of my life for years. But since fat fetishism is not pedophilia, I hope there is another way out.

Also, what does your partner say to your visiting fetish sites?

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3 hours ago, vpprof said:

What do you mean by that?

Yes but don't you feel your needs are unfulfilled? You visit sites like this one, after all :D

No, I don't feel unfulfilled at all.  I come here to explore my fantasies.  I can be attracted to my partner while still liking this stuff.  Just because you have a kink doesn't mean you need to live it out. 

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Im not reproaching anyone, merely offering my own experience. The 'you' was not adressed towards anyone in particular. 

I dont watch it to avoid acting it out, its just that its just a fantasy for me, it doesnt need to become more. If someone has a partner that is into it then by all means they should have fun. But not every relationship needs this stuff. 

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@fattony20 @boss frond Again, guys, do your "significant others" know you're visiting these kind of sites? I don't want to sound moralizing but you must admit that that's quite a big chunk of your sexuality hidden from your partner. Sure, everyone can have secrets but isn't that pushing it a bit too much? 

That reminds me of a documentary about gay people marrying straights and not telling them. 

I'm not saying no. Maybe it's the proper way of living your life while having this fetish. But right now, at my current stage in life, it just feels wrong, to myself as well as to that other person.

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1 hour ago, vpprof said:

@fattony20 @boss frond Again, guys, do your "significant others" know you're visiting these kind of sites? I don't want to sound moralizing but you must admit that that's quite a big chunk of your sexuality hidden from your partner. Sure, everyone can have secrets but isn't that pushing it a bit too much? 

That reminds me of a documentary about gay people marrying straights and not telling them. 

I'm not saying no. Maybe it's the proper way of living your life while having this fetish. But right now, at my current stage in life, it just feels wrong, to myself as well as to that other person.

You are definitely moralizing and you're also ignorant as to how relationships work.  To conflate liking chubby girls to hiding your entire sexual identity to the point it could destroy a family pretty disgusting.  And btw my partner does know what I'm into, to the point she sends me thick girl profiles on IG for fun.  You can keep your judgy BS to yourself.  I'm done with this convo. 

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45 minutes ago, vpprof said:

@fattony20

Some here would say that's not just "liking chubby girls" but their whole sexuality (e.g. Verlorener).

I see I definitely touched a nerve :(

It's quite amazing how people hate it when you tell them what they already believe deep inside.

Good for them. 

No, you didn't touch any nerve I just don't like judgy, arrogant people who go around painting others with a broad brush.  Not everyone fits into your close-mined idea of morality. 

 

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19 hours ago, fattony20 said:

moralizing

ignorant 

disgusting

your judgy BS

I'm done

judgy, arrogant

close-mined

No, you didn't touch any nerve

🤷🏻‍♂️ But anyway, no, I'm not playing the victim and I'm not angry at you :) Chill. I'm sorry for having sounded condescending. I'm still interested in what you meant when you spoke of this "advanced stage" of a relationship, could you please do me one last favor and elaborate on that:

On 2/5/2021 at 3:05 PM, fattony20 said:

trying to fit a kink into a long term relationship just makes the kink dull out once you get into the comfortable part of the relationship

What's that "comfortable part"?

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28 minutes ago, vpprof said:

🤷🏻‍♂️ But anyway, no, I'm not playing the victim and I'm not angry at you :) Chill. I'm sorry for having sounded condescending. I'm still interested in what you meant when you spoke of this "advanced stage" of a relationship, could you please do me one last favor and elaborate on that:

What's that "comfortable part"?

Yeah, that's how you've been acting.  

Comfortable is when the newness fades from the relationship and you settle into a routine. Routines can be very rewarding.  I just don't feel the desire to introduce this into my relationship, I don't need it to be anymore attracted to my partner than I already am.  I'm not going to be made to feel guilty for exploring my kink, I wouldn't be with someone that did, and I'm certainly not going to take it from you.  

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Right, thanks, can't say I'm impressed by this answer.

Anyway I think what OP meant to discuss in this thread before it went offtopic was not only whether people enjoy the videos when the model is faking the fetish, but also whether people are OK with the sheer fact that the model is deceiving people, is my intuition correct, @PreyToGod? :)

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On 2/5/2021 at 9:31 PM, vpprof said:

My thoughts precisely ☺

That's why I'm so intent on finding out what the kink is really about: 1) to search for these people more effectively; 2) possibly to be able to live kink-free :D 

Idk, it's just fun to be able to get her aroused by telling her weight gain stories. You feel this sort of "unity" which you don't feel with a kink-less girl.

  

Maybe that's the way to go. I tried but there's this nagging feeling that if there are girls who are into it, why not go for it?

Yeah I would love to be more or less satisfied without any of this stuff.

But it’s the first thing I was ever into sexually so it’s not just something I can easily detach from or even compartmentalise. 
 

Actually I have normalised it a lot because in the very early days I was mostly into pregnancy and stuffing. 
 

As you said I worry that if I were to date a thinner girl I would always be turning my head when a girl w a belly walked past, get a bit jealous if friends partners were gaining weight, subconsciously encouraging her to gain a bit.

Yeah knowing that there are girls out there who have this kink and try to suppress it because they think they’ll never find anyone else into it or they don’t want to accept it is sad too.

 

It reminds me of that poem 

“She had blue skin, and so did he 

He kept it hid, and so did she 

They searched for blue their whole lives through 

Then passed right by and never knew” 

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7 hours ago, vpprof said:

Right, thanks, can't say I'm impressed by this answer.

Anyway I think what OP meant to discuss in this thread before it went offtopic was not only whether people enjoy the videos when the model is faking the fetish, but also whether people are OK with the sheer fact that the model is deceiving people, is my intuition correct, @PreyToGod? :)

That’s part of it I guess but mainly just that I feel like it’s difficult to enjoy if the other person isn’t into it..feels a bit exploitative.

and you could argue that getting paid to eat a lot and gain a bit of weight is better than getting paid to do a lot of other shit but I think there’s something especially off putting about that, it can have an impact on health and self esteem and stuff you know.

That’s if they’re clearly not into it at all like what was clearly the case on a certain site for a while.

 

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