Demigods and Diets

[flyer33]

In a fantastical setting, a fertility priestess turned martial artist named Reckless Siaka must come to grips with her unexpected new powers while trying to stay ahead of the machinations of one of Heaven’s most unhelpful bureaucratic departments: “The Celestial Office of Sudden, Inconvenient Weather and Fattening Snacks.”

 

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I may not have time to do much with this for a while, but I've wanted to try doing a story in a world based on the Exalted RPG setting. Anyone think a Solar Exalted weight gain heroine is good idea? I'm assuming most people will need the world explained (it's flat, and magic, among other things), which isn't easy. Also, it has meddling Gods, who are in fact useless bureaucrats, in a Celestial City in the sky, which I find amusing and would want to include (even though it makes for a convoluted introduction). 

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Background

Eons ago, great Primordial Titans forged a fantastical flat realm for their amusement and diversion. They stocked their garden with wonders, formatted magic for their convenience, and crafted whimsically-shaped “Gods” to oversee the tedious management of the countless “Natural Phenomena,” such as “Elements,” “The Sky,” and “Life” that emerged in their new playground, and in which the Titans generally lost interest. Later, after an ill-advised venture in crafting an invincible “War God,” history went rather tits-up for the Titans, who were variously banished from their new dimension or slain by their own creations, with the aid of mortal heroes transformed into super-weapons by re-purposed Primordial design. The most organised Gods seized control of the Titans' vast and wonderful Celestial City in the sky, from where they ruled the Realm via the dispatch of instructions to their “junior partners” in the lands and seas below. But, having been created as specialist bureaucratic functionaries, the masses of Gods were ill-suited to the harmonious oversight of a sprawling world. Over eons, the convoluted principles set down by conflicting Titans were compounded by the legalistic, bureaucratic empire-building of the Gods themselves, and the wonderful but trouble-wracked world below grew ever weirder and more dependent on the attentiveness or, more often, incompetence of increasingly lazy Gods and elementals.  In fact, such is the incompetence in Heaven that even the records about the location of the designs which transform mortals in to “super-weapons” are not kept properly up to date...

 

TLDR. The flat world of Elementa is fantastical, and filled with weird beasts and phenomena that – partly because of divine mismanagement, which has a very direct effect on the material world – defy reason. But mortals live there nonetheless, and some of these mortals have adventures. And some of the Gods find adventures amusing to watch; and some other Gods see in them the chance for profit and bureaucratic promotion because of the legal cases that inevitably arise in the Celestial City whenever interesting or complex events take place in the world below.

 

[flyer33]

Well, let's have a go at a chapter 1. I warn you: the lore of this world is convoluted. Anyway, I think Reckless Siaka, fertility-priestess turned martial artist, has potential.

 

 

Chapter 1: The Merger of the Divine Office of Sudden, Inconvenient Weather with the Pan-Departmental Sub-Committee on Fattening Snacks

 

The Celestial City of Yo-Shan. About 11 chimes in the mid-morning.

 

As a small office in the Bureaucracy of Heaven, and one with poor political connections, the Divine Office of Sudden, Inconvenient Weather had been progressively relegated, over the millennia, to the basement of a narrow, eight-storey tenement built from plain terracotta and cheap copper. Even worse, as far as its overworked and ill-appreciated functionaries were concerned, was the fact that the canal traffic on the morning commute to their workplace was some of the most appalling in the entire Celestial City of Yo-Shan. Consequently, the two-headed, 11 foot tall Subdirector of the Office – a well-fed God in the shape of a walking bear – was inevitably late for work. Which had frequently caused disaster, in the view of his long-suffering, crocodilian deputy, Assistant-Manager Crocomunch – whenever there was an urgent need for Sudden, Inconvenient Weather to be supplied at short notice before about eleven chimes in the morning.

“Sorry We’re late again, Gentlemen!” Exclaimed Director Two-Heads-Better. “We swear the traffic here gets worse every century! We really must compose another letter of complaint to the Pan-Departmental Department of Municipal Complaints!”

Subdirector Two-Heads-Better plumped up the cushion on their almost-new silver chair, sat down, and thanked their cat-headed tea server for the freshly-brewed teapot of golden tea, before turning their attention to the eternally-impatient Assistant Crocomunch.

“Do you want something, Crocomunch? You’ve got that look again, as if we have to do some work! You really must learn, Crocomunch, that our Office is at its best when we do no work at all! That way, by doing absolutely nothing, we ensure there is no Sudden, Inconvenient Weather in the unfortunate lands Below! And I’m sure the punters are happier for it!”

Crocomunch sighed. The Subdirector was a truly useless leader. Crocomunch had frequently argued that the Office would not have been marginalised to a tiny basement between a wine warehouse and a celestial brothel, had they actually managed to action at least some occasional opportunities to dispatch orders for Sudden, Inconvenient Weather to the elementals in the lands Below. But they never did, and hence their authority, de facto, had been usurped by a variety of other offices in the Bureau of Weather. However, that was going to change today!

“Yes, Subdirector! We have a request!”

Two-Heads-Better arched their eyebrows at each other.

“A request? For us? You mean, some mortal has actually prayed for Inconvenient Weather?”

Prayers for inconvenient weather were much more common than the Subdirector imagined, but Crocomunch didn’t decide to argue this point.

“Yes, indeed! And I have completed all the paperwork, including the location form, for somewhere in the Western Islands. It wasn’t easy, but all that is needed is your Stamp of Authorisation, Sir!”

Two-Heads-Better squinted, as if concerned he might be being duped into performing his first piece of actual work, this century.

“We’d better check through the form!” Said the Subdirector. “Make sure you’ve not made any mistakes. We don’t want to get in trouble, in the next Audit, due to hasty work, after all!”

Crocomunch suppressed a sigh. “Of course, Subdirector. It’s all in order, as you see. It’s a prayer for heavy rain. And, the regional God has not submitted any exemption paperwork, to any of the relevant Offices, at any time since he took over his post ninety years ago. So we’re in business!”

“Oho! Ninety years behind on his paperwork, eh? Well, I think you’re being a bit harsh on him, but he has to learn his lesson not to fall behind on his reports to the Bureau of Weather, eh, Crocomunch!”

That said, Two-Heads-Better withdrew his ceremonial Stamp of Approval from within his frilly pink silk shirt, and, with great pomp and seriousness of purpose, dipped in the High-Priority ink tray and stamped it crisply in the very centre of Crocomunch’s silk-paper document. And then he stamped it six more times on the necessary duplicate forms, had Crocomunch take most of them away for dispatch, and ordered another teapot of Golden Tea.

 

*

 

Two chimes past noon, in the Office of Sudden, Inconvenient Weather.

 

Two-Heads-Better was about to take his afternoon nap, when an exceedingly large-breasted goddess in a flamboyant gold dress walked into the Office without knocking. She stalked across the golden marble floor, and set down a box on disused table.

“I guess this’ll have to do for now.” She said.

“Can We help you, Madam?” Asked Two-Heads-Better. He would have said something less polite – such as “Ahem, I believe you’re looking for the brothel, which is next door, Madam.” But the goddess looked really rather delicious.

“Not really. Hmm. I am Voluptara.” She said, rather sniffily. “From the Sub-Committee on Fattening Snacks. We’re expanding. And I’ve been assigned a desk in your office.”

“Oh.” Huffed the Subdirector. “Well that’s rather irregular. Do you have any sort of official paperwork?”

Voluptara sneered slightly, and withdrew a massive sheaf of fully-stamped forms that she’d been storing, apparently, in the capacious space between her breasts.

Two-Heads-Better examined the warm paperwork.

“Oh. Well. Welcome to Office of Sudden, Inconvenient Weather, I suppose.”

Voluptara smiled faintly.

“Thank you, Subdirector.” Said the goddess who appeared to be more suited for working in a brothel than an office. “Now. I can’t help feeling you didn’t expect me to be joining your lovely office, and I don’t want us to get off on the wrong foot. After all, I’m very junior, and I might not get promoted out of here for a century or two. So we really ought to get along. Would you, perhaps...” Voluptara’s bosom heaved, and the Subdirector eyed it closely with all four eyeballs. “... Care to join me for a little get-to-know-you tumble?”

Two-Heads-Better made throaty sounds before swiftly agreeing.

“Wonderful. Oh! Subdirector, there is one other thing. I have a teeny bit of work to do... I have to finish a form about a new snack, which the Sub-Committee has voted to make more fattening than it currently is. But the location form always takes ages to fill in. You don’t happen to have a spare one I could borrow, do you? Then we could head straight up to my place!”

The Sub-Director chortled happily.

“Oho, it’s Our lucky day, Voluptara! I always have my staff complete a spare location form, just in case! I think we can knock that little problem on the head!”

“Wonderful!” Gasped Voluptara happily, drawing her own Stamp of Authorisation from her bosom. “If you’d just hand me the form we can be straight up to my place!”

 

*

 

Port-city of Wavelash. The Western Islands. Mid-afternoon.

 

Heavy rain beat down over the city of Wavelash.

At the end of the harbour beach, a row of wooden shacks were lashed together from driftwood and roofed with banana leaves. The scent of fried fish, garlic, and meat vied with the heavy rain. The cosmopolitan trade port was famous for its chefs. And for the beauty of its bronze-skinned women. One such young woman, apparently destined to be a fertility priestess from the fullness of her pert bust and the skimpiness of the tiny leather skirt over her firm bottom, was taking shelter from the sudden, inconvenient storm. While she was sheltering, she handed over a couple of shells to the woman in the food-shack, and received a plate in return. A plate of steamed greens, which the pert young woman regarded unenthusiastically.

“Steamed sugar snaps. Ugh. I miss fried, battered squid!”

“Hey, Siaka!”

The bronze-skinned young woman with pert boobs under her skimpy leather vest looked around in answer to her name. The young woman calling was a shorter, plumper, and equally busty figure in a similarly skimpy outfit. Expect this one still wore the shell-amulet of a fertility priestess, which was missing from Siaka’s neck.

“Oh, hey, Titta.”

“You sound glum, Siaka! Dieting yourself skinny that much of a chore, huh?”

“Huh! It fucking is! Honestly, I was onto a good thing until this year! My parents were marrying me off to a prince from the Archipelago. And the Archipelago approves of its sons marrying fertility priestesses. So I could stuff myself on fried fish to my heart’s content; marry well; oh, and as an Archipelago princess I’d be free to indulge in religious orgies until I could barely walk, if I wanted... And be respected for it! But then my parents decide to marry me off to some merchant family from Blackstone Island, where they don’t approve of fertility priestesses. But they do like their daughters-in-law to be accomplished in martial arts... Oh, skinny martial artists, to boot. Bah! Sharks! My life sucks!”

Titta the fertility priestess looked smug.

“Yes, Siaka. It must really suck to be a princess, and never have to worry about working!”

“Shut up! You don’t work, Titta! You just fuck!”

“Fucking is important work! Flooza’s rituals keep the seas full of fish, and the land fertile!”

“Huh. Tell that to Blackstone.” Siaka huffed.

Titta eyed the small unappetising plate of greens.

“What’s that?”

“Steamed sugar snaps. Ugh!”

“Sugar? Sounds fattening. You’d better watch it. Wouldn’t want to look fat in your wedding skirt, now, Siaka!”

“Huh!”

Siaka crunched on a steamed pea pod in annoyance.

“Aw, come on. It can’t be that bad. Think of the money! Blackstone Island. Richest trading port in the south.”

“Meh. Maybe not. Y’know. Actually, these steamed greens aren’t as tasteless as I remember! They’re actually pretty sweet today! Maybe I’m getting used to them. Which I better had. I still need to lose ten pounds.”

“Still ten pounds to go, Siaka? Aren’t you losing at all? I guess not, judging by that bosom of yours!”

“It’s not the bosom! It’s the martial arts training! It makes me hungry! I have to eat afterwards!”

“Heh. Yeah, you have to!”

“I do! Water Dragon style takes a lot of energy!”

Siaka crunched more of the sweet steamed greens. “Mmm. These are actually good!”

Titta smirked.

“Well, if they’re good, you’d better watch yourself, Siaka! You know your appetite! That skirt’s too tight on you as it is! So you’d better not bloat!”

“Huh!” Was all Siaka could reply. She had to admit, though. Her skirt did feel tight! Which was infuriating! She’d been restricting herself to low-calorie steamed sugar snaps and water for days. Well, for two meals, anyway.

A commotion radiated around the harbour. The people taking shelter in Wavelash’s shacks took notice.

“Aw, no!” Exclaimed Titta. “Ship in trouble! Flooza’s Favour!”

It was the sudden storm. A ship heading for Wavelash harbour could easily enough be pushed aside onto a rocky shore, by winds this strong, even with a decent crew.

“Crap. What ship?”

Titta stared into the murky distance.

“Big one. Could be a Blackstone trader...”

“Shit!” Siaka groaned. Not a certainty, but it could be carrying her husband-to-be! Losing one to a shipwreck, shortly before marriage, was considered a mark of divine disfavour in the Western Islands.

“You want to go?” Titta asked?

As one of the strongest young swimmers in the city, Siaka would be expected to at least take a look at the sea around any shipwreck, to judge whether it might be possible to help without risking too much.

Siaka grunted.

“Yeah. Let’s go!”

The princess munched another steamed sugar snap before hurrying out into the rain with her friend.

“If I have to swim I’m gonna have to take this skirt off, though! It’s too fucking tight!” Siaka predicted.

As she broke into a run, she tugged at the tiny leather skirt which dug into her waist under an unflattering roll of soft flesh.

 

*

[Batman76]

Ok, this seems like an interesting start. I like the meta idea of it being a cosmic accident

[flyer33]

Chapter 2: The Expansive Ambitions of Sub-Assistant Voluptara

 

Voluptara instructed her air-elemental maidservant to blow the shaggy hairs off her spider silk sheets – sleeping with one’s boss had its advantages, but when one’s boss was an eleven foot bear with two heads there were also disadvantages – and jiggled her divinely curvaceous figure for the fun of it as she tottered into the silver-furnished office of her smart Yo-Shan apartment.

“Hehe!” Chortled the goddess.

It had taken centuries for Voluptara to secure a job with privileges in the Bureaucracy of Heaven. But now, after centuries working in one divine brothel or another, ever since her city in the lands Below had been destroyed by flood (authorised, no doubt, by a rival goddess jealous of Voluptara’s superior looks) and left her unemployed and dependent on the daily dole of low-quality prayers allotted to indigent gods, she had finally arrived!

And steamed sugar snaps were only the start! Not a bad start. Voluptara had experienced quite the thrill as she authorised a change to the world Below: increasing the calorie content of steamed sugar snaps, making them as fattening, pound for pound, as deep-fried donuts!

With “sugar” in the name, any legal challenges from any embittered god of diets or healthy legumes was unlikely to succeed! Almost any of Heaven’s lazy judges or Censors would simply see the word “sugar” and agree with Voluptara that, of course the vegetable should be an extremely fattening one. And, frankly, that it had been a celestial oversight to ever have allowed such a snack to act as a diet food for sugar-guzzling mortals! And if the Censors didn’t agree, then Voluptara would simply bribe them with sex. But it was unlikely to come to that: Voluptara’s change to the lands Below was restricted, for now, to a flyspeck little hundred-mile island in the Western Seas. So it was unlikely any god in Yo-Shan would ever notice. Except Voluptara! Voluptara would notice, because the change would result in her receiving personal prayers – centuries ago, as a city goddess, Voluptara had received a celestial promotion, granting her all the prayers of mortal women, within her region, who wished that weight gain would spare their waistlines and bottoms and go instead to their busts. It was a fairly specialised authority, even in Yo-Shan, but it was hers! And soon, by ruining the weight-loss properties of the most common diet food on an island known for its delicious fried food, Voluptara was confident the prayers would soon be flooding in!

“Aha!” Cried Voluptara with delight. A tiny parcel of gold-wrapped prayer materialised on her desk at that very moment! She unwrapped the little coin-shaped snack, and popped it in her mouth. “Mmm! Divinely delicious!”

Voluptara was in such a good mood, she gave serious thought to actually answering the first prayer of the day!

 

*

 

“Ugh. I’m fucking full!”

Siaka groaned and patted her distended stomach, which echoed like a drum in return.

“Ooof! Too much deep fried fish!”

Siaka was enjoying the well-deserved rewards of her heroism. To gross excess, unfortunately for her gurgling guts. The rewards were all the plates of fish, fried in animal fat and fatteningly battered, that she could cram down in one afternoon-long sitting. All thanks to the people of Wavelash appreciating her heroic rescue of three Blackstone merchants. Siaka had stripped out of her too-tight leather skirt, and braved perilously heavy seas to drag them back to the nearest beach to the headlands beyond which their ship had begun to break apart on rocks. Her skirt had been too constricting to swim properly, and so when she’d returned to land with the third merchant she’d been wearing nothing but her leather vest and thong. She hadn’t bothered to dress again before accepting strong drinks from the admirous Wavelashers who’d watched the rescue, followed by much back-slapping and dozens of wellwishers insisting on buying Siaka her favourite treat – which was fried fish, and lots of it.

Siaka had then greedily stuffed her belly to its limit in order to satisfy all her admirers’ wishes to ply her with the foods she loved the most. And now she was suffering the consequences.

“Oh! Too much! Beer batter! UuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrP!” Siaka’s belly churned painfully. “Oh! When will I learn! Don’t eat more than twenty kinds of fish in one sitting, Siaka! Especially not when you have seconds, and never when you have thirds!”

Siaka shifted on her stool in the hope of relieving the painful bloating of her belly. A sharp cry of admonishment – in, oh no, her Mother’s voice – cut through her discomfort.

“Princess Siaka Aria Wavelash! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Oh.” Siaka burped unhappily. “Hello, Mother!”

“Don’t ‘hello, Mother’ me young lady! What are you playing at!”

“Erm. Having a bit of a tummy ache?” Siaka suggested.

“Huh! I think we can all see that, young lady!” Snorted the Queen Consort. “And, although I fear my intervention is too late, you are hereby restricted to eating nothing but steamed sugar snaps until the wedding! And I pray that’ll shift enough inches from your bloated midriff that your husband’s family will be satisfied.”

“Urp.” Siaka was too bloated to argue. She couldn’t eat anymore, right now, in any case. She was too full of fried fish! Also, she was only wearing a thong and a leather vest that was scarcely more than a bra, and her overdressed mother would probably complain about that too if Siaka tried to answer back.

“But I’m not referring to your gross overeating, Siaka...”

“Hiccup! Urp. Oh good.”

“... But to your absurdly reckless activities in risking your life on behalf of mere merchants!”

Siaka’s tummy complained of its overfeeding, causing her to groan again.

“Uh. But, Mother! The sea wasn’t that rough. And I’m a very strong swimmer!”

“Huh! With all the fish you eat, young lady, I’m surprised you can’t breathe water! But, be that as it may, I will not have you swimming in the sea during a rainstorm! It simply isn’t dignified for a princess of Wavelash, and it reflects poorly on the entire Royal Family!”

“But, Mother! Everyone was very happy I did, and they were so impressed they all bought me loads of fish... And now I feel very sick! Oh, my tummy!”

“Silence! From now on, Siaka, your tummy is to be your main concern! Specifically, getting it slim enough for your wedding skirt! And making sure everything else looks pert enough to impress a merchant dynasty.”

“Urp.” Siaka burped sullenly.

“Oh, don’t look like that!” The Queen Consort huffed. “You’re on steamed sugar snaps for a month. But, if you lose ten pounds and promise not to overeat, I’ll review my instruction in a fortnight! Am I understood?”

Siaka gave a pained expression.

“Yes, Mother. Burp!”

 

*

[flyer33]

11 hours ago, Batman76 said:

Ok, this seems like an interesting start. I like the meta idea of it being a cosmic accident

Heh. I think one of the core concepts (or jokes) of the setting is that the laws of Nature are set by a really bureaucratic legislative process. And the Gods, who are in charge of this process, are for the most part lazy, corrupt, or inept. Hence they can do things like change the calorie content of a type of snack, and they do so for convoluted, self-interested reasons. And this has amusing consequences for mortals like Siaka who have to put up with the results. Of course, Voluptara will no doubt want to change other diet foods into junk food, to increase her powers! 

[>_< 0_0]

It took me awhile to figure out what all the splurging of cryptic lore was about, but I kept faith in your literary genius and was rewarded halfway through with the realization of what kind of story this is. Of course! It’s alol about a girl struggling to diet when there’s literally a goddess rewiring the rules of the world against her efforts! The possibilities and ironies are endless! What else can happen? Granting prayers for bust enhancements? Adding calories to water? Bulking boosts? Making cows round? Making the Earth round? What if another bureau accidentally makes things worse? This plot could go anywhere.

[Batman76]

How about making it so exercise burns muscle and builds fat...

 

speaking of adapting games to weight gain stories, I need to do a delta green story where agents of a nefarious government conspiracy fatten up starlets as unknowing sacrifices to cosmic horrors.

[flyer33]

52 minutes ago, >_< 0_0 said:

Of course! It’s alol about a girl struggling to diet when there’s literally a goddess rewiring the rules of the world against her efforts!

That's exactly what it is! The gods and goddesses, when they aren't lazing around for millennia like the Subdirector, muck about with the rules of reality to increase the importance of their own domains (e.g. prayers for bust enlargement, from people in a specified region) - which increases their personal income of delicious prayers, which materialise in the Celestial City in the form of, effectively, chocolate coins. Pretty surreal, but...

52 minutes ago, >_< 0_0 said:

The possibilities and ironies are endless! What else can happen? Granting prayers for bust enhancements? Adding calories to water? Bulking boosts? Making cows round? Making the Earth round? What if another bureau accidentally makes things worse?

All of these things. The only limiting factor is that a god or goddess who treads on the toes of a rival bureau (which is inevitable, because of the ludicrous complexity of the Celestial Bureaucracy), and gets caught, might get Audited in front of the Celestial Censors, who making their own equally corrupt rulings on the canon of the laws of Nature. 

40 minutes ago, Batman76 said:

How about making it so exercise burns muscle and builds fat...

Hmm... How about changing the laws of Alchemy so weight loss elixirs become appetite stimulants? (More my kind of story. Has anyone noticed my extremely well-concealed enthusiasm for strong girls?)

40 minutes ago, Batman76 said:

speaking of adapting games to weight gain stories, I need to do a delta green story where agents of a nefarious government conspiracy fatten up starlets as unknowing sacrifices to cosmic horrors.

Oh, yes! Some possible horrors:

The Choccoths: Beasts of protoplasmic animated chocolate, used as slaves by a decadent prehistoric city of sorceresses, which telepathically absorbed their mistresses' gluttony, fed their rulers until their city collapsed, and now slumber underground, impatiently dreaming of the day they will have a new civilisation of greedy humans to fatten! Only periodic overfeeding of beautiful starlets can keeps the telepathic horrors asleep. 

The Call of Chocthulhu: An actress drafted into a superhero movie at the last minute, to replace the world's highest-paid action starlet, finds herself growing too fat for her costume, the very thing for which her predecessor was fired. Can she avoid the same fate by investigating the diet clinic her predecessor attended? 

"Party scene, Take 6..."

<Actress> prayed her costume wouldn't pop a seam as her empty plate of cheesecake was swiped, and replaced by a fresh one that she had to eat sexily in the background of a wide-angle shot. 

 

I must do your suggestion of a Hollywood actress adapting to post Chocolate Kaiju LA, too. 

 

[flyer33]

Chapter 3: The Thirsty Dragon

 

Queen Consort Keira Wavelash directed a furious gaze at her most naturally beautiful, but also most disobedient daughter.

The port of Wavelash, as its name implied, was exposed to the full force of the open Western Ocean.  The bay provided a degree of shelter, but still only the heaviest buildings could hope to weather a serious storm – so most of the town comprised single-storey shacks lashed together from wood, on the principle there was no point even trying to make them last. The royal castle was of weighty sandstone, however, and it afforded the Royal Family the luxury of a permanent residence as well as upper storey views over their flimsy tradeport. It was in one of the castle’s opulent upper storeys that Princess Siaka Wavelash was receiving a serious scolding.

“You’ve been secretly stuffing yourself with fried fish, and, and swilling beer, haven’t you, young lady?” The Queen Consort said, damningly.

“I haven’t! I have been very obedient and consumed nothing but plates of steamed sugar snaps and water for two weeks, Mother!” Princess Siaka protested.

“Hah! Then how do you explain this?”

Keira grabbed the inch-thick roll of flab bulging over Siaka’s far too-tight little leather skirt, and jiggled it for emphasis.

“Or your fat thighs?” Keira demanded with a raised voice.

“My thighs aren’t fat! They’re strong!” Siaka protested loudly. She did have very strong thighs – they were just a little on the fleshy side. “I’ve always had the strongest legs in Wavelash, Mother! And all the extra martial arts training you made me do has bulked them up!”

“Fah! A likely story, Siaka! More likely you’ve duped some poor infatuated boy at the dojo to bring you fattening cheeses and egg fried rice to gorge on!”

“I haven’t! Well, only a few times!” The princess replied.

“Huh! It won’t do! For the good of the Royal Family, you simply must slim down before your wedding! Look at me, for example!”

Queen Consort Keira smoothed her ornately embroidered blue silk gown for emphasis, although her figure was sufficiently matronly that Siaka looked puzzled at what her Mother was attempting to demonstrate. Apparently, it was that she, too, had been slimming down in advance of their island’s most important wedding for a generation.

“I have eight children.” Keira explained. “And yet even I am sticking to a strict diet of sugar snaps for breakfast and dinner, so that I make the best possible impression on the Blackstones! I hope you do realise the Blackstones are extremely important! Frankly, their ships and gold are exactly what our family needs! I’ve grown sick of our Archipelago neighbours, especially the Pearl family, treating us like paupers simply because their waters are blessed with rich oysters and corals, whereas ours offer little more than the abundant food in which you overindulge yourself so recklessly, Siaka! Marrying off a daughter to the wealthiest trading heir on the Copper Sea is the perfect way for us to get one over those damn Pearls!”

Siaka huffed. The Blackstones might own the biggest ships that visited Wavelash, and they may well be rich from importing teas and spices from An Teng, but that hardly made up for their island’s reputation. Or, rather, lack of reputation. Most of the Moonsand Archipelago, of which Wavelash was the largest island, was infamous for its licentiousness. Siaka had been half-expecting to be married into the Pearl family, in fact – that family ruled a handful of tiny islands, but they were fat with wealth from their rich pearl reefs – and she would then have expected a life of almost nonstop feasting and carnal indulgence. Marrying a boring Blackstone boy offered less mouth-watering prospects.

“Yes, Mother.”

“That is why we selected you to marry the Blackstone’s heir, Siaka! You, although I fear this compliment will go to your vain head, are undoubtedly the most beautiful young woman within a thousand miles sailing – which is precisely why we chose you, because you would be able to see off any competition from the Pearls or the Fatreefs or the Guzzelfishes. However, Siaka. You will spoil all my plans if you arrive at your wedding looking so FAT!”

Keira bent down angrily to jab a finger into Siaka’s thick thighs.

SNAP!

RIP!

“Oh no!” Shrieked Queen Consort Keira Wavelash. “My beautiful sea-silk gown!”

Siaka laughed loudly enough to hear from the harbour. Much to Keira’s ire.

“What are you laughing at, young lady?” Keira demanded furiously, as she sucked in a deep breath and tried to hold the side-seam of her diaphanous blue gown together.

“Mother! You said you’d been eating steamed sugar snaps to get thin for the wedding! But I’m not the one who just tore a seam from tummy to tit!”

Keira’s face reddened furiously, and she panted with anger at her impertinent daughter!

“Don’t be so impertinent, Young Lady!” Keira snapped. “Of course your skirt hasn’t popped: it’s made of leather! And you’re nineteen! Silence!”

Siaka tried hard to stop laughing, but it took a few attempts – her mom’s belly, revealed by a giant tear in her gown and her restraining undersilks, was large! She was, more than Siaka had suspected, pretty fat! Much fatter, in fact, than either Siaka or her younger sister, Silky, who both frequently caught the sharp side of Keira’s tongue as punishment for overeating. No wonder the Queen Consort always overdressed so, in such long, flowing silks!

“That’s quite enough, Siaka! Your husband-to-be, Prince Chai Blackstone, is due to arrive within the fortnight, to introduce himself before the wedding. And, even if I have to restrict you to nothing but boiled water and one sugar snap a day, you will be slim enough for Blackstone fashions!”

Siaka looked glum.

“Oh. Goody.”

“Oh, don’t sound so ungrateful, Siaka!” Keira snapped. “He’s exceedingly rich! And his new barque is the finest in the Moonsand Archipelago.”

“Oh, yeah?” Siaka said without trying to sound interested. “What’s it called?”

“Your husband-to-be is the master of the Thirsty Dragon. We shall dine aboard on the day of his arrival!”

 

* *

[flyer33]

Chapter 3: The Thirsty Dragon (part 2)

 

Two weeks later.

 

Siaka gulped down fried mushrooms and lentils in a tangy lemon sauce, and tried not to drool as the ship’s very fat cook, an older man named Sancho, piled a very generous third helping of roast fish onto her plate. But it was hard not to drool over the food! The cook was outstanding; the cuisine was an irresistible blend of local and flavoursome Tengese fare; and, at her Mother’s insistence, Siaka had been starving herself for weeks. Not that she’d lost any weight – though, as it happened, Siaka had reason to be grateful her shell-bra clad boobs were at their fullest and most impressive.

Food wasn’t the only thing making Siaka drool. First, there was the luxurious opulence of her husband-to-be’s tropical hardwood merchant ship, the Thirsty Dragon, in whose Master cabin Siaka and her family had just feasted– after which Siaka had enthusiastically accepted an invitation to stay on for few hours with her fiancé in private. In fact, Siaka had accepted this (blatant offer of premarital sex, as far as she was concerned) with undignified speed – earning a reproving glare from her Mother along with the green-eyed jealously of her sisters. This was because of the second reason Siaka was struggling not to drool: her husband was seriously hot! Chai Blackstone was tall, blonde, and handsome like a god of clean-shaven handsomeness, with lean but well-developed muscles. Siaka – who had previously convinced herself that her arranged marriage would be to a man with whom she could never slake the voracious lusts of a fully-initiated priestess of fertility – had practically cried with happiness on first seeing him. As a bonus, her sister Silky’s jaw had dropped and she’d drooled down her own ample cleavage before Siaka had nudged her. By that point, Siaka had been thanking Flooza that she’d spent the morning making herself gorgeous and squeezing her even larger breasts into an uncomfortable but alluring bra made from sparkly red shells – very large, and yet still too-tight shells.

“I’m happy you like Tengese food, Siaka.” Said Chai Blackstone, as the last of Siaka’s sisters closed the cabin door behind her with a wistful sigh.

“Mmmph.” Siaka munched.

The princess briefly considered whether her husband-to-be was subtly calling her fat. She decided he was, in fact, admiring her healthy appetite and statuesque physique.

“Uh huh! Very much so. Sancho’s cooking is amazing!”

Sancho the cook – a heavily overweight man with tanned skin and his round belly on display in his tropical weather clothing – beamed broadly. And then interrupted whatever Chai was about to say.

“I like this one, Chai!” Sancho boomed. “Not too skinny!”

“Um. Thank you.” Said Siaka, uncertainly.

“You’re welcome!” Then Sancho turned to Chai. “Thighs like anacondas on this one, Chai! You’re going to enjoy tonight, if you don’t get crushed!”

Chai looked irked at the impertinent cook.

“Sancho!” Snapped the captain.

“Just saying what’s what, Chai. I’ll leave you two alone now!” Sancho headed out, with just one afterthought that prompted him to put his fat head back through the cabin door. “Oh! Siaka: there’s plenty more of my Tengese fish and mushrooms. I’ll keep a plate warm for you, and you can eat it when you’re done with Pretty Boy.”

Siaka and Chai, princess and merchant prince, looked at each other across the mahogany table. Siaka spoke first.

“Pretty Boy?” Siaka arched an eyebrow. “Okay. Tell me why your ship’s cook calls you Pretty Boy... I mean, you are seriously pretty, Chai, but that’s not why I ask...”

“Um.” Chai began. “Can I explain later?”

Siaka licked her lips and – very uncharacteristically – pushed her plate of food away, and stepped around the table. Where she leaned heavily over Chai and began loosening his shirt, to which he offered no resistance at all...

“Absolutely, Chai. So long as, by later, you mean after we fuck!” Siaka said. “Because, I happened to notice you spent half of lunch staring at my shell-bra. And I really think you want to help me take it off! It is as agonising as it looks, by the way, and my boobs really need to be licked by my handsome young fiancé!”

Siaka finished pulling off Chai’s shirt as he skilfully began to unwrap her leather skirt.

“Oh yeah!” Siaka thought as she fell back onto the captain’s bed, and felt a thrill of happiness that it was as comfortable as it looked. “Am I good, or am I good?”

 

* *

 

A couple of hours later, Siaka left her husband-to-be slumbering exhaustedly in his bed while she found a simple wrap dress in a drawer and headed next door. She was, if anything, even more impressed with her good fortune in marriage than she had been earlier – Chai was every bit as well-endowed and potent as she could ever have hoped for in a husband, and it was only thanks to Siaka’s boons as a fertility priestess that she wouldn’t be falling pregnant until a more appropriate time in their marriage...

Siaka munched fried fish, beans, and potatoes fried with a new, spicy sauce, as she sat on a stool in the Thirsty Dragon’s galley. And she listened to Sancho the Cook’s languid, meandering explanations at the rate of about one quarter of an answer per plate of food. Consequently, Siaka felt stuffed. But she’d been denied proper food for a month, and Sancho showed no sign that he would stop feeding her amazing, exotic food unless she actually burst, so she let her appetite loose.

“So. Mmmph.” Siaka recapped. “You’re not only a great cook, but mainly you’re Chai Blackstone’s friend, and you’re a retired, um, explorer?”

“Explorer,” was the politest word Siaka could come up with for “grave robber, thief, and black marketeer.”

“Si, Senorita! Pretty Boy wouldn’t be a great merchant without my advice. And without a hammock on his ship, ah, I might have found myself into a Wu Jian dungeon. And he have nice ship and good wine store, so I stay on! But did I tell you how I found myself in Wu Jian, with half a talent of the Empress’ black jade hidden in an admiral’s wedding cake? Now that’s a story...”

Siaka listened to Sancho the “Cook’s” stories as she ate. And ate, and ate. His food was so good she couldn’t help but eat until absolutely stuffed. Alas, her month on sugar snaps seemed to have lessened Siaka’s stomach capacity, and there were still some untasted delicacies left on offer, but she couldn’t take another bite.

Something about Sancho’s stories troubled Siaka, however. She was pretty sure he’d alluded to stealing a huge gem called the Fat Pearl from a monastery in the Coral Archipelago. But – and this was the worrying part – Siaka was pretty sure she’d heard the same story a few years ago. And the thief involved had been one of the Anathema – the dreaded demons who once stole the power of the Sun, and whose reincarnations the Empress’s soldiers have to hunt to this day. In fact, Siaka recalled soldiers posting a reward notice on Wavelash. Still, Sancho did not seem like a dreaded Sun-radiating Anathema, so much as a fat former thief who enjoyed stuffing his employer’s wife-to-be with far too much food...

“Ooof.” Siaka burped. “Thank you, Sancho. But, if you keep feeding me like this, my husband’s going to get annoyed at you for making me fat!”

“Aw, Senorita!” Sancho drawled. “He need to appreciate finer things in life anyway! Have chocolate cake slice!”

Siaka’s tummy gurgled from overfeeding, but her mouth watered.

 

*

[Batman76]

Oh fuck yes, this is a glorious dive into decadence!

 

Hope we get a few good scenes of Siannas martial skills eroding as she grows...

[>_< 0_0]

These two chapters were delicious 😏 I’m extra eager to see what that goddess is gonna “edit” next (I’m quoting myself because that’s how I understand what she’s doing). And Siaka hasn’t even prayed for boobs yet! What ever will she do when her tummy troubles begin? What will mother say? How will she hide the bulges 🤔🤤

[flyer33]

2 hours ago, >_< 0_0 said:

These two chapters were delicious 😏 I’m extra eager to see what that goddess is gonna “edit” next (I’m quoting myself because that’s how I understand what she’s doing). And Siaka hasn’t even prayed for boobs yet! What ever will she do when her tummy troubles begin? What will mother say? How will she hide the bulges 🤔🤤

 

Phew, I said the lore was complicated... At the end of Chapter 3, we learn Siaka has super-powers and has a reason to learn what this means by going on an adventure that may just happen to involve an eating contest with a half-pig god of gluttony...

 

Part 3: Siaka’s powers as a Solar Exalted are revealed. But what does this mean? Fortunately, although Chai and Sancho don’t really know what it means, they do know a city god who can tell them more – and will reveal all if someone can beat him in an eating contest...

 

Chapter 3: The Thirsty Dragon (part 3)

 

Weddings. They have their quirks. Royal weddings more than most.

For Princess Siaka Wavelash, none of the manifold quirks of her wedding day were able to spoil her elation in a fiancé who was not just rich, but sexy and attentive too. And who owned a luxurious merchant ship, on which she’d made him promise to show her the exotic shores of An Teng, at the very least. Not even an assassination attempt by her step-brother managed to spoil her day – but that came later.

Quirks of weddings, as recounted by Princess Siaka Wavelash. (1) Your mother yells at you for a month for not losing enough weight to please your fiancé’s family; then she spends two weeks seething because your husband’s cook makes you gain a stone – even though you have a sexy, strong frame, and it’s just your muscles filling back out after a starvation diet, mostly. Then she cries on the wedding day because it’s her last chance to feed her daughter properly. (2) Your sister spends weeks telling you how your husband is the most eligible man in the Western Ocean, then she meets a fairly-cute but rather rotund young man from the neighbouring Pearl family the day before the wedding, and immediately assesses him to have taken the top slot. Then she sleeps with him, before emerging late the next day and admonishing you for letting her drink so much that her judgement in men was fatally impaired. Spends the rest of the day in hiding. Gets thoroughly buzzed at the wedding and sleeps with his brother. (3) You get a lot of presents. You already have boxfuls of jewellery made from shells, because you’re a princess from an archipelago, so you dump most of it on your younger sisters. You keep the vast numbers of bottles of liquor, however, and are slightly cheesed when your husband’s cook drinks the best one a day later, before you get around to starting it.  (4) You spend the day spilling out of the skimpy leather-and-shell-bra dress of a tropical princess; your sisters-in-law look disgusted, but really they’re jealous because you’re six-foot tall and built like an ocean goddess of sharks, swimming, and sex. (5) You swear never to wear anything even ten percent as agonising as a shell bra ever again. You really mean it, this time. Even if your husband begs... Or, maybe if he’s really nice to you... Or if you want to look irresistibly, kinkily hot...

Anyway, the port of Wavelash celebrated the wedding of the decade until no-one could drink one more drop of strong tropical liquor from a hollowed-out pineapple or coconut without passing out, or swallow even half a bite more of fried fish.

By late in the evening, one of the other quirks of royal weddings – namely an assassin with an oily-poisoned dagger, skulking in the master cabin of the Thirsty Dragon – had very little doubt that his target or his target’s wife would be nowhere near sober enough to see him coming. But, then, he had reckoned without the one, last, monumental quirk of Siaka’s wedding: namely that she would, as an assassin’s blade lunged at her husband, at that very moment become a divinely-empowered and terrifying “Sun-Demon.” And, even worse for said assassin, he’d reckoned without the knowledge that both Siaka’s husband, and her husband’s cook, were “Sun-Demons” of the very same ilk...

 

*

 

“Mmm!” Siaka slurped from her pineapple cup as her very-new husband struggled to operate his cabin door. Disappointingly, most of the liquor in the pineapple had gone... It was only a small disappointment, because really she’d only wanted to finish it so she could throw it in sea before needing both hands free to fuck her husband harder than she’d ever fucked in her life.

Alas, a shadowy figure in the cabin had other ideas.

Siaka would never know how she saw the blade coming – nor how she sidestepped it. Could be skill; could be luck. She would one day learn why the cabin was suddenly brightly lit by the glare of the Sun – except radiating from her own skin! It took time to accept, but the answer, for a while, could be simplified to “You're a Sun Demon, but not necessarily a creature of evil like the monks taught you to believe is necessarily the case.”

The light of an oil lamp glinted off an oiled steel blade.

Siaka blinked. Reflexively, delicious pineapple liquor forgotten, she sidestepped.

Siaka saw the blade was aimed straight for her husband’s heart. The cabin was, surprisingly, illuminated by a daylight blaze. This made things easy: Siaka dropped into a Water Dragon stance. The martial arts style was all about combining defense and attack, and grabbing the assassin’s wrist while turning his own blade back on him, was, in effect, a core part of the style... And Siaka was better than she’d imagined. Before her thoughts even caught up with the world, Chai Blackstone’s assassin lay dying on the mahogany planks of the floor.

Siaka took a breath, and coughed. Or maybe retched.

“Uh?” Siaka gasped.

Chai, who had imbibed at least as much pineapple liquor as Siaka, but without her hefty alcohol tolerance, gaped.

“Senor!” A cry came from outside. “Senor!”

Siaka’s world slowed. The cabin was as bright as day – and because her skin was glowing light sunlight. The cabin door burst open, admitting her husband’s fat cook, Sancho, wielding a frying pan.

“Senor!”

“Urgh!” Siaka’s new husband groaned.

Sancho took in the scene. The dying assassin, and his captain’s radiant wife.

“Ah! Senor!” Sancho exclaimed. “And you! Siaka! I think...”

Siaka gazed at her hands. They were blazing with sunlight, enough to illuminate the room – although, with her attacker dead, it seemed to be fading with her adrenaline rush. She felt too heavily dosed with pineapple liquor to think – and her husband was clearly too sloshed to think of anything either.

“Uh? Sancho?” Siaka queried.

“Ah! Senorita!” Sancho said, after recovering his composure. Apparently his vast intake of pineapple liquor hadn’t had much affect, perhaps due to his vast belly. “I sink that is another one of your husband’s no-good-brother’s assassins... But also... I think...”

Sancho raised a finger to his forehead, and a spark of sunlight emerged from his the spot between his eyes.

“I think you’re one of us!”

Siaka looked at the fat, Sun-Demon cook, in alarm. “One of what?” She squeaked.

Chai Blackstone caught up with the situation. He’d been feeling nothing but horniness, and desperate desire to fuck his new, super-hot but rather curvy and kinkily strong wife. But then there had been a man with a blade – another killer hired by his villainous brother, no doubt. And only his wife had moved fast enough to stop him! Maybe because Chai wasn’t a natural killer...

Chai sighed. And reached up to his own forehead. A spot of light matching Siaka’s own skin began to glow, briefly, in the shape of a hollow disc.

Chai sighed. “One of us ‘Solars’ Siaka – or ‘Sun Demons’ if you prefer the Empress’s definition. But, honestly, we’re not what they say we are! Sancho and I just try not to get into trouble, mostly...”

Sancho the Cook, on the other hand, seemed less shocked than his captain.

“Senor!”  Cried Sancho. “This is great news!”

Chai turned a sceptical eye on his chef. “How, Sancho, is it great news that my wife is the same kind of Solar as us? I didn’t want her to be a fugitive from the Empress too!”

“Senor!” Sancho exclaimed. “It’s great! Because now we have her there are three of us! And that’s enough to get answers from our friend in An-Teng! About who we are!”

Siaka arched an eyebrow. It took effort, because she’d been drinking a lot. As she did so, her glowing skin faded back to normal.

“What are you two talking about?” Siaka demanded. Solars? Sun-Demons? Anathema? All unbelievable. Still, there was one thing to ask about. “What friend in An-Teng?” Siaka demanded.

Sancho beamed happily.

“Aha, Senorita! We have an acquaintance in the An-Teng tea trade! A city-god named Hog-Chu! A half-pig god of feasting! He swears he know everything about Sun-Demons! Or, in truth, Solars, which is what Chai and I believe ourselves to be! And he’ll tell us all he know... If only we can find someone to beat him at his favourite challenge: an Eating Contest!”

Siaka’s eyes narrowed.

“How does that help?” The princess demanded.

Sancho beamed happily.

“You super-big eater, Siaka! You beat feasting god Hog-Chu in eating contest, and he tell us everything he know!”

Siaka burped. She was stuffed from her wedding feast, and already feeling excessively curvy.

“Feasting god? Eating contest, Sancho? That sounds like a stupid idea.” Siaka protested.

“No!” Sancho cried happily. “We get you into practice! You beat Hog-Chu at eating contest! Of course you will! You’re Solar! Solars are good at winning!”

Siaka burped. She thought she’d just married a rich, handsome young man. Which she’d expected would be fattening for her figure. And she was a greedy girl... But she hadn’t expected “Sun-Demoness eating contest versus the half-pig god of feasting” levels of greed to be in her future.

“Uh huh.” Siaka said flatly. “And what you two do while I’m ‘practicing’ for an eating contest with a half-pig god called Hog-Chu?”

 

*

[flyer33]

2 hours ago, >_< 0_0 said:

These two chapters were delicious 😏 I’m extra eager to see what that goddess is gonna “edit” next (I’m quoting myself because that’s how I understand what she’s doing). And Siaka hasn’t even prayed for boobs yet! What ever will she do when her tummy troubles begin? What will mother say? How will she hide the bulges 🤔🤤

Heh. I think after the wedding-feast of the century on Wavelash, there will be a good supply of young women praying for the calories to go to their busts... Probably including the Queen Consort!

 

3 hours ago, Batman76 said:

Hope we get a few good scenes of Siannas martial skills eroding as she grows...

Well, there's a lot of martial arts styles left. One of the canonical ones in the game is "Drunken Master" and I wonder if there should be a "Gluttonous Hog" style. I can certainly see her being entered in some eating contests.

[flyer33]

Chapter 4: The House of Frying Noodles

 

Two weeks sailing later...

 

Afternoon in subtropical An-Teng brought monsoon rains. Gentle thunder rolled over the port of Dragon’s Jaw, a relatively new city that sprawled to the north of the River of Queens, and handled much of An-Teng’s bulk trade. Dragon’s jaw was a rough town, full of sailors, cheap whores, low dives and warehouses. It was not the sort of town where a merchant prince would seek a fine seamstress to craft his wife a fashionable outfit – except if there was an urgent need, such as his wife’s hips having grown too fat for her to fasten her leather skirt. Which, Siaka grudgingly admitted, was what had happened to her after two weeks of marriage.

Princess Siaka Wavelash-Blackstone stood sheepishly, with her arms raised and folded over the ceiling beams in the workroom belonging to a seamstress of good repute. Said seamstress was tiny – under 5 foot tall, and petite – and Siaka towered above her as the woman fussed with a tape measure around Siaka’s hips and thighs. Siaka was less than impressed by the disbelieving sounds the seamstress uttered in Tengese, as she repeated the measurements of Siaka’s strong, fleshy hips. It was as if the woman had never seen a robust Archipelago girl with a strong build before! And taking a fourth hip measurement – just to be sure her client really was that big – frankly seemed insulting! All Siaka was asking for was a plain cotton wrap skirt, after all.

The seamstress buzzed off to her workbench, leaving Siaka to smile indulgently at her husband with a horny glint in her eye.

Two weeks with her new husband had been enough for Siaka to conclude that she very much enjoyed being married. With the wedding over, and rather a serious political storm raised in Blackstone Island by the news of the thwarted attempt on Chai’s life – an attempt which was widely believed to be the result of a complex but well-concealed family feud that had horrified Siaka’s mother when she learned of it – Chai and Siaka had set sail for a honeymoon voyage to An-Teng. It was a relatively simple trade run. The Thirsty Dragon carried chocolate, sugar, pearls, corals and sponges from the Moonsand Archipelago and beyond, and would return with tea, silks, perfumes and spices. The run should have been a two month round trip – however, the Thirsty Dragon was a fast ship, and Siaka’s husband was an impressive navigator, and strong winds had brought them to the port of Dragon’s jaw in only two weeks.

Two weeks of honeymoon on an opulent merchant barque had very much agreed with Siaka – as attested, she suppose, by the seamstress’s disbelief at the size of the statuesque archipelago princess’ hips.

For a fortnight, Siaka’s day had consisted entirely of a succession of naked sunbathing on the Thirsty Dragon’s top deck; followed by either her or her husband taking the other to their cabin for extended fucking sessions as soon as either of them recovered from the last one; and Siaka being stuffed with excellent food until she could take no more. All in all, Siaka decided she should have married a rich trade prince ages ago... The slight problem, however, was that in between sunbathing, sex, and gorging, she’d seen little need to wear her stylish leather skirt for two weeks – and when they reached An-Teng she’d learned it didn’t fit.

In fact, Siaka’s skirt wasn’t even close to fastening – her strong hips were simply too thickened, from the two-weeks of honeymoon feasting that had filled her back out after her pre-wedding diet. Also, Siaka decided that her energetic morning swims alongside the Dragon had probably added muscle to her frame – with the added benefit that the exercise had helped get her in the mood for another day of sex with Chai...

“Husband.” Siaka smirked. “I think the seamstress is shocked by how much you’ve overfed me.”

Chai affected shock. “Me, overfeed you, Siaka?”

“Yes, husband. Look at that woman muttering about my hips. It’s like she hasn’t seen an Archipelago girl before.”

“Probably not one as strong as you, Honey.”

“Strong. Mmm.” Siaka licked her lips.

It was true: Siaka was strong. Very strong. She always had been one of the strongest swimmers in the Moonsand Archipelago, and that was against stiff competition.

But, that said, Siaka’s unusually high strength was also the product of the last two weeks. The whole business, explained patiently and repeatedly by Chai and Sancho, of the wedding assassination attempt causing Siaka to become what Sancho called a “Solar” – apparently because she had somehow caught the attention of a long-forgotten Sun God – was still weird for Siaka. However, she also knew her strength and speed had practically doubled overnight (and her post-wedding hangover had failed to materialise). And she’d agreed to help Chai and Sancho learn more about “Solars” from their contact – a local city god named Hog Chu, who happened to run a smuggling (or “trading”) operation through which he’d become a contact of Chai’s.

The seamstress returned with a short cotton skirt, and tried it on for size around Siaka’s thick hips. It fit perfectly! Siaka was surprised by the woman’s skill, and Chai thanked her in Tengese.

“So, Husband...” Siaka inquired suggestively. “Back to your cabin for sex, or do you insist on us looking up your friend Hog Chu at his place of business first?”

Chai looked satisfyingly torn. In truth, after two weeks of exhausting himself trying to slake his wife’s insatiable libido, he could use a break... But she was so hot! However, Chai’s curiosity won out: he and Sancho had been wanting Hog Chu to spill his knowledge of “Solars” for years – and, thanks to his impressive new wife, they finally had a way to make the Feasting God tell all. Hog Chu, after all, couldn’t resist betting on his prowess in eating contests – but, in Princess Siaka Wavelash-Blackstone, Chai was sure the gluttonous smuggling boss had met his match.

“Well, Honey, we’ll have plenty of time to ourselves later. But Hog-Chu’s House of Frying Noodles will only be open for lunch. Let’s visit him on his schedule. Oh, and Honey...”

“Yes, Husband?” Siaka swished her new cotton skirt happily. It framed her big, strong Archipelago girl’s hips alluringly. Oh, and it wasn’t too tight around her thickened belly, like her leather skirt had been.

“... I hope you brought a big appetite.”

Siaka nudged her husband playfully, causing him to stagger on the wet boards of the covered walkway.

“Huh. Have we met, Husband? Because I’m pretty sure you ought to remember spending the last two weeks overfeeding me with enough expensive food to stun a whale.”

“Well, you know me, Siaka.” Chai replied, returning a playful but firm shove to his wife that didn’t cause the strong-framed princess to even notice. “I just get pleasure from satisfying your appetite!”

“Mmm.”

Siaka viewed the sign outside a bustling restaurant. She read the unfamiliar Tengese syllables carefully.

“Hmm. ‘Hog-Chu’s House of Frying Noodles.’ Mmm, sounds delicious, Honey! Let’s eat! I’m absolutely super-starving!”

Chai watched his wife’s strong hips sway ahead of him into the restaurant... And felt so horny he wished he’d taken up her offer of pre-lunch sex.

 

*

[Batman76]

Damn, Siaka brought an appetite to this marriage...

[flyer33]

1 hour ago, Batman76 said:

Damn, Siaka brought an appetite to this marriage...

Heh. Siaka is a girl with a huge appetite, and she's managed to replace her nagging mother who had her on frequent diets with a rich husband who, to his surprise, has discovered that watching his wife eat enormous meals is a real turn-on. She's unlikely to fit into the leather skirt and shell bra from her wedding ever again.

[flyer33]

Chapter 4: The House of Frying Noodles (part 2)

 

Behind the kitchen of the House of Frying Noodles, an opulent back room with a low table of lacquered wood and reclining cushions was used by the proprietor – the smuggling boss Hog-Chu – for private business and entertaining his honoured guests. One such party of guests was that of Chai Blackstone, scion of the rich Blackstone merchant family. And there was his wife too! And what a wife!

Hog-Chu practically slobbered over the deliciously voluptuous Siaka! But then, Hog-Chu, who was a minor village god turned crime boss when his village was absorbed into the port of Dragon’s Jaw, a lot of things caused him to slobber. Still, the way that Princess Siaka Wavelash-Blackstone could clear a dozen-pound bowl of fried rice and black-bean curry to the last grain was one of the most pleasing sights Hog-Chu had seen in a long time!

“BUUURP! Oof!” Siaka patted her cotton-clad belly. For the fifteenth straight day of her marriage, she’d once again eaten so much food that her belly felt very heavy.

Food hadn’t stopped coming. The largest bowl of curry and rice that Siaka had ever seen had been the main bulk of the feast with which Hog Chu, her husband’s business partner, had plied his guests. But there was a lot more besides! Side dishes of deep fried lemon chicken, squid with chilli, sushi, rare steak, and fried potatoes! No noodles, surprisingly, but then Siaka felt like she’d eaten an entire menu already, so she was too full to query the point. Apparently the House of Frying Noodles also did a good trade in rice and curry.

Anyway, Chai and Hog-Chu had been chattering away happily for a couple of hours. Chai had done most of the talking – Hog-Chu had been busy gorging himself, with vast bowls of food the same size as Siaka’s immense curry bowl. But then, Hog-Chu must have been three times Siaka’s size. His vast, tan bulk was clad in something like buttoned black silk pyjamas and a silk cap. Only a pair of trottered feet, without the usual Tengese sandals, gave away that the smuggling boss was in fact a minor terrestrial god, and not simply a vastly fat man. 

Siaka was learning the Tengese language, but only caught intermittent words. However, after two hours of gorging herself, she looked up inquisitively when she noticed the conversation had turned to Chai's “wife.”

“What are you two saying about me, Husband?” Siaka interrupted, as she washed masses of chilli sauce and grease off her fingers in a lemon water bowl.

Chai looked at his well-gorged wife. Her cotton wrap skirt bulged over her heavy belly. And her silk top revealed plenty of strong bronze, flesh. “Oh, Honey. Let me translate. Hog-Chu was saying how much he admires your captivating beauty!”

Hog-Chu, after gulping down a bowl of soup, looked at Siaka speculatively.

“Not only you great beauty, Princess Siaka...” Hog-Chu corrected in heavily-accented Seatongue. “... But I also telling your husband he very lucky to marry wife with such big appetite! And big, solid hips like water buffalo! BUUURP!”

Siaka smiled politely. Great beauty was a compliment in any language – and, as for the remark about her hips, which Siaka viewed as well-proportioned to her strong frame, Hog-Chu’s hearty enthusiasm suggested he approved.

Anyway, Chai looked uncomfortable, as Hog-Chu continued his candid translation of their conversation.

“And then your husband say he was anxious when his parents said he was to marry an Archipelago princess, because – HA, HA, HA, OINK – he worry he end up with fat wife who not good in bed! HAHA! But he found out nothing make him hornier than watching wife eat like pig! And then he learned that his wife – who is a, HAHA, Fertility Priestess – gets even very hornier when she’s stuffed with food! HA, HA, HA! Of course!”

Siaka directed a narrow gaze at her husband.

“HAHAHA!” Hog Chu oinked heartily, and waved at one of his employees to bring yet more curry.

With a heavy thud, Siaka saw her vast curry bowl had been replaced. She burped. She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted another dozen pounds of beef in spicy black bean curry with mountains of egg fried rice... At least, not if some laughing pig god was going to watch her stuff herself stupid and – this was the annoying part – grunt with laughter because her husband had let slip that gorging to excess made Siaka wet and horny.  It would be weird, eating in front of a host who knew that somewhat private fact... Though Siaka doubted it would spoil her appetite.

“EAT!” Hog Chu commanded.

Siaka patted her full belly and burped. But then she picked up her chop sticks and attacked her new curry mountain with renewed vigour – she wasn’t about to admit defeat by Hog-Chu’s grossly excessive portions. After all, Chai and Sancho were counting on her to out-eat the greedy smuggling boss, because he would then feel honour-bound to reveal his knowledge about the ancient history of the “Solars.” Which Chai and Sancho had been unable to learn from any other of their sources. And, anyway, Siaka was full and her belly heavy, but she wasn’t completely stuffed yet, and the curry was delicious!

“... THEN, after this we can have noodle eating contest! URP!” Hog-Chu concluded with a laugh.

Siaka paused, mid-chew. “After this?” She mouthed at her husband. “Like, I have to eat more food, after this?”

Chai nodded.

Siaka groaned. Her poor belly would be absolutely stuffed after this second massive bowl of curry! If she ate even a little bowl of noodles on top of that... Her poor guts would be overloaded and upset for days! Still, apparently her husband got horny when his statuesque wife ate like a pig! So that was something.

Siaka shifted position on her cushion, and hefted her belly with both hands so it settled between her hefty thighs – the better to make room for a heavy eating marathon. Then she resumed the process of greedily devouring a second bowl of curry large enough to feed a table of six.

“Urp!” Siaka huffed, massaging pounds of rice and beef already in her belly. “You, Chai, are so going to owe me for this!”

It took a solid half hour of eating, but eventually the second dozen pounds of fried rice and beef curry lay defeated by Siaka’s appetite and size. The only problem was that the overfed princess felt her bowels were crammed from ass to tit! She’d had to push out her belly to make room for the last few pounds of rice. And she looked very pregnant.

“Uh! Ate too much! Hiccup!” Siaka moaned at her husband.

“AHA!” Cried Hog-Chu. “Now time for noodle eating contest!”

 Siaka massaged her eyes as the low table was cleared, and then reloaded with two vast dishes that, between them, occupied the entire table and overlapped the sides. And each was piled high with thick, wheat noodles in a hearty vegetable sauce.

“Urp.” Siaka felt sick.

“Honey.” Chai told his wife. “Please keep going! Sancho and I really need Hog-Chu’s knowledge, and he’ll only trust us with it if we beat him in an eating contest!”

Siaka burped. “What’s this we, Honey?”

“Well, you, Siaka. I guess. Please?”

Chai looked imploringly at his wife, and Siaka felt herself giving in – to her own refusal to lose an eating contest for the first time in ages, as much as a desire to please her husband. After all, Hog-Chu had eaten more than her already, so how much more could she possibly have to consume to beat him?

“Urp! Alright, I’ll try.” Siaka declared. “But, one thing, Chai...”

“Yes, Honey?”

“Does watching me eat like a pig really make you horny?”

Chai licked his lips. “Oh yeah, Honey. I thought you’d noticed that?”

“Mmmm. You should have said more explicitly.” Siaka teased, with a resounding pat to her bulging midriff. “If you’d been clearer, I wouldn’t have held back at the wedding feast! Now...”

“Uh, huh, Siaka?”

“I hope you don’t have any plans for tonight. Because you’re going to be rubbing my poor overstuffed tummy! I’ve already eaten like a PIG, and I still have to eat a pile of noodles about the size of the Celestial Mountain!”

Chai Blackstone shifted his cushion and lay back. As his big-framed wife continued to eat, and eat, and eat – until Hog-Chu finally tapped out, his vast eating capacity defeated by the gorgeous, painfully overfed Archipelago princess – Chai enjoyed the massive hard-on with which the scenario endowed him.

 

*

[>_< 0_0]

I really need to calculate this 🧐 so Siaka just inhaled 12 pounds of rice. I’m assuming the Pork god is noble enough to prefer white rice. So let me plug this into MyFitnessPal (I track my macros guys).... okay! So a pound of white rice 🍚 is 1,856 calories, so 12 pounds is... 22,242 calories! 😍 How many pounds will Siaka gain? Assuming she’s 5’4’’ and doesn’t work out, she needs 1,950 calories for the whole day (these r my gf numbers 😗). So we subtract that from 22,242 and get 20,292 surplus calories! Google says the average person needs to eat 3,500 to gain a pound, so we divide 20,292 by 3,500 and get... 5.8 pounds! Siaka’s going to be huge 🔥

[flyer33]

7 minutes ago, >_< 0_0 said:

I really need to calculate this 🧐 so Siaka just inhaled 12 pounds of rice. I’m assuming the Pork god is noble enough to prefer white rice. So let me plug this into MyFitnessPal (I track my macros guys)... okay! So a pound of white rice 🍚 is 1,856 calories, so 12 pounds is... 22,242 calories! 😍 How many pounds will Siaka gain? Assuming she’s 5’4’’ and doesn’t work out, she needs 1,950 calories for the whole day (these r my gf numbers 😗). So we subtract that from 22,242 and get 20,292 surplus calories! Google says the average person needs to eat 3,500 to gain a pound, so we divide 20,292 by 3,500 and get... 5.8 pounds! Siaka’s going to be huge 🔥

You're using math on my stories again, dammit!

I suppose I could point out the shonky energy physics of the setting, due to e.g. steamed sugar snaps having had their calorie content tweaked by celestial meddling. Though I doubt a staple food like rice has been manipulated. Or, more importantly, we could consider that Siaka (and Chai and Sancho in slightly different ways) have attracted the attention of an ancient Sun god, gaining powers which in Siaka's case probably include strength and a heavy duty metabolism... Anyway, Siaka is already huge. She is "over six foot" and is a princess from an archipelago where the women are noted for their beauty (provided you like curves) - and for their large builds. This is a side plot-point: her husband comes from an island that doesn't approve of the voluptuous hedonism of Siaka's culture (but it turns out she has soon converted him to appreciate the advantages). Well, I say "plot" - not sure there's much plot, beyond "divine conspiracy to fatten up mortal women in a wuxia setting, in order to harvest prayers that the weight goes to the right places."