So Mary got doxxed and ** blocked talking about it

[dania201]

Honestly this is my worst fear. I often think I’m being overly cautious about not sharing more about myself online. I feel hypocritical sometimes that I value seeing other women be so open and affirming about feedism and fatsexuality. But then something like this happens and I realize why I could never do that. 
 

I’ll just crawl back into the safety of being unknown online and get fatter in real life alone. And I’m sure I’m not the only feedee or woman who feels this way. 

[dania201]

Just now, dania201 said:

Honestly this is my worst fear. I often think I’m being overly cautious about not sharing more about myself online. I feel hypocritical sometimes that I value seeing other women be so open and affirming about feedism and fatsexuality. But then something like this happens and I realize why I could never do that. 
 

I’ll just crawl back into the safety of being unknown online and get fatter in real life alone. And I’m sure I’m not the only feedee or woman who feels this way. 

 

[dania201]

Well yes. It taught us that being open and trying to share an important life experience with each other may be a very regrettable decision. Models and non-models should thing twice about sharing with you all. 
 

This means that people who would have otherwise shared with you now won’t. 

[dania201]

9 hours ago, Mr Froggy said:

Doxxing is entirely inexcusable but because of that, there's not really much to add in a discussion like this without venturing more into the dangerous territory of hindsight and constructive victim blaming. 

For a popular model who shows their face - doxing is almost a foregone conclusion now (and certainly to be considered an occupational hazard).  It's not so much about 'if' anymore but 'when'.  

Good infosec is a must but creators can also help themselves by practicing 'security by obscurity'.  Don't court controversy etc.  The star that burns twice as bright, burns but half as long etc. 

I.E if you're trying to be an "anonymous" face-showing model and being doxed would "ruin your life"... maybe don't start using such a highly precarious platform to start offering up highly controversial political opinions.  

Nope. The fact that one’s face exists on the internet does not in any way make it okay for someone else to maliciously try to wreck that person’s life. 

[dania201]

4 minutes ago, Mr Froggy said:

Did you even read my first sentence? 

OK? No.   Predicable? Yes. 

 

I did. Your first sentence says it would be a bad idea to victim-blame, and then the rest of your post proceeds to do it. 

[dania201]

I get the “lock your doors” principle and all, but if we are all just trading richtext via VPNs to explore feedism from now on? In an age of face recognition software, how the hell can anyone share their journey with us without “basically just asking” for their personal lives to be invaded by people trying to hurt them? 
 

You see where this logic goes, right? Nobody shares anything and we are all better off? 

[dania201]

MrFroggy’s main argument is that since it’s hard to prosecute the doxxer, we should just throw up our hands and fault the victim for...whatever the doxxer was upset about. 
 

For someone who is so for lAw anD oRdeR it’s staring that you think the fault shouldn’t be with the bad actors themselves. Yes, we should lock our doors and be careful. But if someone breaks in, kills you in your sleep, the public shouldn't be like “this is why even if you have a gun, you shouldn’t sleep that deeply at night. Don’t be mad at the burglar, criminals going to crime—try not to be the one they want to crime on.” No woman in America thinks this is the ideal way to live. 

[dania201]

Thanks for this post. More metered than anything I said. ❤️

[dania201]

1 hour ago, Mr Froggy said:

Sooner or later, someone's going to get pissed off and come for you specifically ... that's a targeted act brought on by your lack of awareness.

Exactly. Fuck. You. 

[dania201]

My main concern with our different examples is that the closest real life analog is råpe and råpe culture. The idea that someone would be raped and our response would be “well, what did she do to cause a rapist to want to do that to her? She probably should not have done whatever that was.”

Are there things that we can do as women to lessen our risk? Absolutely. But keeping the discussion there is dangerous because it creates a permission structure for råpe. In the same way, we need to avoid creating a permission structure for doxxing Curvage models or anyone. That’s why the “Mary kinda had it coming because _____” discussion runs thin on me. 

Edited October 24, 2020 by dania201

[dania201]

25 minutes ago, goodgirlgrow said:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Thanks for starting this thread. Clearly discussion on this is important to people. 

[dania201]

It’s called ‘Toggle case” and he uses it to make light of people who value said phrase. The idea is that if you write it like a toddler would, you can imply that those who appreciate said phrase to be toddlers. Watch:

American freedom

aMeRIcaN fReEdOmm