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Weight gain acceptance


Tory

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Hi, I'm new posting here, but have been around lurking for a while. I'm a 35 yo f. I've always had a difficult relationship with my weight, I gain super easily add have always had to work hard to keep my weight down. After getting really skinny a few years ago things have gone the other way and I've gained quite a lot. I'm still (just) considered a 'healthy' BMI, but due the first time I have a good going starter belly (I am pear shaped and usually don't gain on my tummy much) 

I've always fantasised about gaining, and find it a massive turn on, but I'm struggling to accept my new curves and just don't know how I feel about it all. I'm super concious of my belly rolls, they just feel strange, and my arse feels like it's following me around. I guess I just hadn't expected to feel so different! My husband isn't overjoyed and keeps mentioning me dieting, although he denies that I look chubby. Ladies, any advice on how to feel more confident in my new fuller figure?

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Well, I'm not a woman, but the best that I can offer is to remind you that the majority of the western world is overweight. In the United States, for instance, sixty-six percent of the overall population is overweight, and seventy percent of women. The United Kingdom isn't far behind, in fact, the last time that I checked, they were on the verge of overtaking America. Nobody worries about weight nearly as much as Hollywood and corporate journalists would like to portray otherwise, so rest easy.

A better perspective is to judge your body based more on your overall health than on your appearance: how difficult it is to be mobile, your general stamina, how sore your feet and knees feel, whether or not you're more flatulent than normal, your overall cognitive function, et cetera. These are more tangible things that will affect your physical and mental well-being infinitely more than your appearance, even if appearances are more immediately noticeable. Do some cardiovascular exercise, or even some weight lifting. Women gain virtually no muscle from it unless they adhere to extremely strict diets and testosterone regimes. Make sure to track your calories, also. Most calorie counters on the internet should show your minimum number of daily calories needed to lose, maintain, and gain weight. If you like the weight, then abide by those figures. Personally, your current body shape sounds ideal to me, and it won't severely affect your health, either, so, please, don't fall victim to runaway cravings. If you just eat enough to maintain, then they will disappear, I promise.

Of course, that's all assuming that you like the weight, which it sounds like you're having doubts about. You seem like you don't enjoy how it feels, which, again, is far more important than appearances. A lot of freaks on here would get outright angry at you for wanting to lose weight, but if being fat makes you physically uncomfortable, then there's nothing wrong with losing it. Thin women are attractive, too, when they're not anorexic twigs anyway. Ultimately, it's your choice what you do. Never let anyone pressure you into acting against what you consider in your best health and interest.

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Here are my rambling lady thoughts:

As much as gaining intentionally against the will of my partner is something I’ve definitely fantasized about, in real life it sounds terrifying. That said, I really do think that good communication about one’s sexuality is a pretty essential part of being in a healthy relationship, and feeling fulfilled in it. There is so much baggage in our culture around fat that it will be a hard subject to breach with him, I’m sure. But good men can also be good at seeing that it turns you on, or how it boosts your confidence. If it’s important to you, hopefully it would be important to him. 
 

I don’t think confidence in your body is something you just arrive at some day. It ebbs and flows, and I feel it takes continual work. It’s something that all women are navigating, regardless of size. But knowing that you like the curves you have right now, is a great place to start. Finding cute clothes that especially ‘work’ because of your newer shape can be a really fun way to reinforce it too. Go be you and cute—finding confidence is in the practice of it.  

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not a lady here... just try to find peace with it, i think that is the key for it. don't mind about the number but about having a balanced life. as i tell my wife, if you eat a bit or a lot of everything, if you sleep well and do some exercise, you will find your happy weight, no matter it is 120kg or 60kg

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