Wife gains weight overnight and loses drive

[VanillaGorilla]

I’m new to the site and got interested from some of the topics I’d seen in this forum. I know there are a lot of stories like this now days, but I wanted to share with people who might also appreciate it. Also maybe ask for some thoughts 

My wife is pretty slim, has gone up/down a few pounds over the years but I wouldn’t even call her chubby (maybe until recently); She’s 5’4” and normally 130lbs. With working from home the last couple months the weight crept onto her; because she started feeling it before I could notice she has been pushing me away physically for months now, feeling down about her changes. I can’t get this dream into a reality out of my head:

We were getting ready for bed last week and she was upset, putting some new kind of lotion on her legs. She finally breaks down and tells me that her thighs are blowing up and she’s getting stretch marks and her legs are rubbing. I get a chance to look and they’re on her inner thighs the most, but even down a few inches away from her to her knees you can see a couple stretch marks. I recall now That’s she hasn’t been wearing anything but her ‘normal underwear’ (no thongs or Lacey stuff), when I snuck my hand on her butt during a hug I couldn’t cup Her cheeks like I used to be able to. 
She changes Her top for bed and I see the sexiest long vertical Light stretch marks on her hips now too, and that her underwear is pulling In on her ...how have I missed these things on her!? I put my hand on her hip bone when she lies down and realize that her belly is definitely bigger now and is protruding higher than my hand is. The next day when I’m in the shower I catch a glimpse of her on the scale, I’m pretty sure she’s up to 155lbs+ now which is more than she’s ever been.
She acknowledges the weight gain and wants to lose it but isn’t making any current efforts...she doesn’t eat much during the day but snacks on junkier foods and likes soda. We even got into making fries and chocolate shakes for the last two dinners. A couple weeks ago she bought some kind of spanx and I told her how much I hate that she thinks she needs to do that for anyone.
so, the issue is that we’ve talked and she knows and can see how much I’m in love with her shape (then and now) but she wants nothing to do with me no matter how much I reassure or pester her. Any advice other than to tell her how beautiful she is? Or to rub her back, make her feel relaxed and comfortable? I think if I say she’s sexy or ask to give her a massage or to make her a bath again she’s going to punch me! She needs to work through things I guess, and I hope she accepts things and lets me get back to her side like we used to be 

[chubbybutt22]

It’s a big issue. I know when who gained weight years ago and haven’t had sex since. Hopefully if you support her and give her time, she’ll get comfortable with her body and want to have sex. Or you could encourage her to lose weight and get down to a size she likes. 

[VanillaGorilla]

Thanks, I left a bit out of that story, we had a 30+min conversation about her weight the other night and how ‘everything but her boobs has gotten bigger’ (which isn’t true at all; they’re keeping up just fine). She seemed to be relaxed a bit at the end of that conversation. We’ve had a good intimate night since (some mutual hand job/fingering). Honestly, we’ve had very little sex since our marriage 2yrs ago...we’ve been a couple for 10+ and I think we need to be shaken out of things, hopefully this is a good awakening for all of that 

[VanillaGorilla]

So today after work my wife said we should order out for dinner, of course I say yes! She orders a steak, mashed potatoes, and a side salad for her with a side of chips, queso, guacamole, and salsa for us to share...she put a decent dent into everything.

afterwards she said she wanted to take a bath, I got the tub going and made her a drink (I’d love to have joined her, but I’m 6’-6” and barely fit in that tub alone and knew she wanted to relax). I don’t think her belly has ever been this round; when she got out of the tub it was bloated out past her perky c-cups! After putting a tight little dress on that she sleeps in she laid ass up on the couch to cool down and said ‘i feel so heavy, I shouldn’t have eaten that much but I couldn’t help it’.

The best part of the night was when she stood up from the couch, she rubbed her belly for a few seconds while looking off in space. I couldn’t help myself so I exclaimed that she was so sexy to me right now! She looked at me kind of confused, grabbed her belly from the sides with both hands and squeezed it, jiggling it up/down and said ‘even with all of this??’ -I said absolutely!! She said she knew and believes me when I tell her how much even her little belly turns me on. After a bit I try to convince her to lay in bed and mess around, she said she was too bloated and didn’t want to be sloshing around, and that she can’t even rest her hand on her belly without it hurting...I can understand where she’s coming from...In this community I’m less about feederism and the feelings and actions of stuffing and more a fan of the results. Anyways, we went to bed to watch tv, she fell asleep, obviously I couldn’t. I’d have liked to have done more with her tonight, but I mean how can I really complain about the night?? Maybe tomorrow she’ll feel less bloated and heavy for us to mess around, or maybe it’ll happen all over again; it is the weekend after all!

[dania201]

I would not hide your feelings. There is no downside for her to hear how you’re feeling right now. 

[NocturnalDevotion CLIPS]

It's going to be hard for her because even though she knows you think she's sexy, if she doesn't think she is sexy she isn't going to want to have sex.

Women are really really brainwashed to feel like failures if we gain any weight so I'm guessing a lot of it is a battel in her own head right now.

For me posting on here and FF and starting to enjoy getting teased and getting into humiliation senerios helped but sometimes being on here really really really frustrates me as well.

That is a really hard one. You are a great guy for trying so hard!

Maybe if you pull away a little bit she might be like "get over here!" I feel sometimes when my husband is all over me I'm not as interested but when he isn't I am. Weird but it's the "want what you can't have" thing.

[Guest grateful]

15 hours ago, VanillaGorilla said:

So today after work my wife said we should order out for dinner, of course I say yes! She orders a steak, mashed potatoes, and a side salad for her with a side of chips, queso, guacamole, and salsa for us to share...she put a decent dent into everything.

afterwards she said she wanted to take a bath, I got the tub going and made her a drink (I’d love to have joined her, but I’m 6’-6” and barely fit in that tub alone and knew she wanted to relax). I don’t think her belly has ever been this round; when she got out of the tub it was bloated out past her perky c-cups! After putting a tight little dress on that she sleeps in she laid ass up on the couch to cool down and said ‘i feel so heavy, I shouldn’t have eaten that much but I couldn’t help it’.

The best part of the night was when she stood up from the couch, she rubbed her belly for a few seconds while looking off in space. I couldn’t help myself so I exclaimed that she was so sexy to me right now! She looked at me kind of confused, grabbed her belly from the sides with both hands and squeezed it, jiggling it up/down and said ‘even with all of this??’ -I said absolutely!! She said she knew and believes me when I tell her how much even her little belly turns me on. After a bit I try to convince her to lay in bed and mess around, she said she was too bloated and didn’t want to be sloshing around, and that she can’t even rest her hand on her belly without it hurting...I can understand where she’s coming from...In this community I’m less about feederism and the feelings and actions of stuffing and more a fan of the results. Anyways, we went to bed to watch tv, she fell asleep, obviously I couldn’t. I’d have liked to have done more with her tonight, but I mean how can I really complain about the night?? Maybe tomorrow she’ll feel less bloated and heavy for us to mess around, or maybe it’ll happen all over again; it is the weekend after all!

Slow and steady wins the race. Low demand, no demand contact, artful cuddles, quality attention based in appreciation and interest in her person-hood.

She knows what you want. Do you know what she wants? Maybe you can be her ideal guy!  😁

My two cents.

Thank you for sharing!  I love couples!   ❤️

[cycling1951]

   Just a little input from another guy’s perspective - which is to listen to the previous advice from the female perspective ! I have been married for a while (to the same woman btw),  and she had some body image issues when she was pregnant with our first son. With the help of a very caring friend and some patience from me, she was able to accept the changes in her body and feel good about herself again. Women get a lot more pressure from men and society in general, (and each other) regarding body image, in my opinion, than men do. You seem to truly care for your wife, and you have tried to reassure her that you find her sexy and attractive as she is now.
   Since there seems to be a situational cause to this gain (the quarantine), I would agree that giving her a little space might be a good strategy. As CB22 said, maybe she really wants to lose weight. She has to figure that out for herself, and you just need to do 2 things already stated: keep communicating your honest feelings, and be there for her with respect and support for whatever she decides. I hope you are able to work this out together with a little time. I also hope you have found the collective info here helpful. 😊

[VanillaGorilla]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all of the thoughtful and genuine comments! 

[Guest Dodgecummins]

What a fantastic thread! I have delt with a similar situation myself. I love how you talk about her and how much you care about her! Don’t loose that!  

[NocturnalDevotion CLIPS]

1 hour ago, Dodgecummins said:

What a fantastic thread! I have delt with a similar situation myself. I love how you talk about her and how much you care about her! Don’t loose that!  

What did you do? I know you guys have a great relationship so I bet you have some good tips!

[VanillaGorilla]

So, tonight I had another serious talk with the wife again that seems to have ended positively. as I’ve alluded before we’ve had intimate issues for a while now; well before any weight issues. She has/had issues that she wants to get over on her own and at her own pace, so I’ve just been as patient as I can and I really feel like things are starting to get back to normal.

but anyways, onto more fun things that excite me and make me happy! 
tonight she’s admitted the weight gain as a loss of drive recently for her, she said she lost some weight in March but gained it all back and then some since then and now she’s 10lbs heavier than she’s ever been in her life. I said I just want her to be happy and healthy, if it meant losing the weight and exercising I’m there with her but also if being happy meant not thinking about calories and eating what she wants that’s fine too. I even nudged her and said it turns me on thinking of her gaining a few lbs and it making her curvier, she scrunched her nose and said she could tell (I can’t hide things well).

She hasn’t made any official plans on her weight yet except: Saturday she wants to go to a new Trader Joe’s that opened to go grocery shopping and to get lunch at her favorite restaurant near there that we hadn’t been to since quarantine. Best of all, Sunday...my deal in the conversation tonight is we’re going to have naked Sundays like we used to in college and lay around all day watching tv and just enjoying each other. But before we’re naked and lazy around the house she wants to go to a brunch spot she likes!  
I don’t want to be optimistic but it’s like the sentence after I reiterated that I liked the weight on her she forgot about losing it and jumped on to what we’re doing for the weekend, time will tell! 

[VanillaGorilla]

So with the weekend winding down, I have to say, the only way it could’ve gone better is it ending in sex (instead of me wide awake revisiting the mental images of the day). True to her word today we had ‘naked Sunday’ which I hope begins a long tradition...she even said we could do topless Monday tomorrow; and I don’t even have to wait till Tuesday to make it rhyme!

we started the day off by buying $60 of groceries: solely chips, dips, cheeses, and wines. We went to lunch where that little 5’4” ~155lb wife ate just as much as the 6’6” 220lb husband (and continued to all day). We lounged around with her boobs out and belly up on the couch, her thighs on my lap for most of the evening. She got a wild hair to sort through recipes we’ve been getting, on her way to the kitchen as she walked naked and patting her belly w/ her hands like a drum; something that simple is why I am still awake hours past our bedtime. 
Even with that I’m still not sure if she’ll ever come to terms with her body, i caressed my hand around her a bit after her kitchen run and she got really quiet and told me not to touch her belly as my hand grazed by it. But then later in the shower as she was letting the water run down her she was just standing there resting her hand on her belly so care-free.
Anyone who cares to imagine with me, I suggested we do more kinky things and said I wanted to rub her down in oil so she shines all over and she said she’d like that...I’d never say it to her, but beyond the usual turn one of doing that I started on a tangent and realllly want to see If I can find any new stretch marks while doing that.

[VanillaGorilla]

I’m not sure what my wife’s thinking at this stage with her weight, but she at least seems to be more open to my desire to be close to her and to see her naked (she never completely shut me down, but there were some dark times where she started gaining the weight that she would stay under the covers or take quicker showers alone).

Yesterday’s fantasies of her getting bigger started at lunch when she texted me that she was craving a whopper. so she had it, fries, and a drink delivered to the house. Because of that late lunch she said she wasn’t hungry for dinner so I made wings and fries for myself; she ate at least 1/2 of the fries and a couple wings still. I feel like she’s watching how much she eats, but she’s also gotten a soda addiction and has usually 2 a day. She still gets on the scale every night but she doesn’t comment what the numbers or doing, or if she’s trying to get them to go down.
At night she made me a bath so I could watch her shower and put on a fake tan. I almost slipped a couple pics, I wanted to soo badly, but I want her approval even if just for my own uses. Words cannot describe how much her ass has blown up, I feel like it sticks out twice as far as it used to...and the cellulite is everywhere on it! When she shifts weight on one leg to the other the lower crease to her thigh on the clenched cheek is at least 2” higher than the relaxed fat on the other. 

as she’s rubbing the tanner on her body she leans sideways and she gets 2 really deep rolls on her side. She leans to put it on her lower leg and her belly catches on her thigh and it pokes outwards and rolls up to a size that makes me daydream of it being that big normally in the next couple months. I also love that her belly’s gotten big enough that it jiggles when she walks, along with her thighs That rub each other but are still thin enough that she has the thinnest sliver of thigh gap above them...But back to her butt, it pretty much eats up any underwear she wears as it moves up and down with each step. I almost want her to bring her weight up again so I can talk about it with her, not that I hadn’t been attracted to her before but I’ve never been this turned on at the sight of her, it really is my dream come true, for now. 
I hope some of you enjoy reading this; I think this thread has just become like my secret diary that I like to post to to reminisce 

[dania201]

I’m glad you’re enjoying your wife’s body. As much as you can, make sure she can feel the positivity it stirs in you. 

[VanillaGorilla]

I could be over analyzing things, but it seems like after me telling my wife i get ‘a little’ turned on by the thought of her gaining weight that she’s relaxed her habits a bit more. She overall doesn’t seem to be eating more, but every night her dinner portion is as much as mine; last night she actually told me to trade her cheeseburger out for ‘that big burger’ (it was about 50% bigger than the one I’d given her that she typically would go for!). She also has been enjoying a few drinks at night with me and bought a cheesecake ring that she had 1/4 of in the first night! 
we talked a bit again and she confessed that she gained another 5lbs; it’s not that noticeable to me but she does have a newer pair of high rise jeans that she barely seems to fit in and when we were in the shower I feel like some of that weight could be on her hips- standing straight they seem to come into her back at angle where a pocket for a roll could/would be forming. 
In our talk she also says that I only ever look at her boobs, so I figured what the hell, I don’t want to keep things a secret (but I also don’t want to push my luck and push her into feeling bad about herself). I told her I must be doing a better job at concealing my staring than I thought, I said I know she has areas that she’s less confident about and that she sees as problem areas. Then I just flat out told her I love the shape of her belly and her thighs and how they play into the curves with her boobs and her butt. She seemed to take it well, I want to find the right moment to ask about taking pictures and doing more with her body but once again don’t want to push my luck. 

[Guest StirCrazy94545]

On 9/2/2020 at 11:07 AM, chubbybutt22 said:

It’s a big issue. I know when who gained weight years ago and haven’t had sex since. Hopefully if you support her and give her time, she’ll get comfortable with her body and want to have sex. Or you could encourage her to lose weight and get down to a size she likes. 

I've had the misfortune of dating a few who not only had plenty of sex with me but were also regularly taking on entire college football teams behind my back. The joys of living in an area with more than its fair share of world class universities, I guess. There's comfortable and then there's comfortable?

[Guest StirCrazy94545]

On 9/12/2020 at 7:47 AM, NogutNoglory said:

It's going to be hard for her because even though she knows you think she's sexy, if she doesn't think she is sexy she isn't going to want to have sex.

Women are really really brainwashed to feel like failures if we gain any weight so I'm guessing a lot of it is a battel in her own head right now.

For me posting on here and FF and starting to enjoy getting teased and getting into humiliation senerios helped but sometimes being on here really really really frustrates me as well.

That is a really hard one. You are a great guy for trying so hard!

Maybe if you pull away a little bit she might be like "get over here!" I feel sometimes when my husband is all over me I'm not as interested but when he isn't I am. Weird but it's the "want what you can't have" thing.

It's not only that women are completely brainwashed into feeling like failures themselves, but they'll then turn around and brainwash their own sons and even grandsons into feeling like failures for being attracted to any girl who isn't stick thin. This messed me up for a looong time, at least until junior year of university. If it weren't for that, there were a number of curvier girls in high school and the first half of college I would have been more than happy to hit like the fist of an angry Old Testament god.

[Guest StirCrazy94545]

On 10/6/2020 at 2:27 AM, VanillaGorilla said:

...

In our talk she also says that I only ever look at her boobs, so I figured what the hell, I don’t want to keep things a secret (but I also don’t want to push my luck and push her into feeling bad about herself). I told her I must be doing a better job at concealing my staring than I thought, I said I know she has areas that she’s less confident about and that she sees as problem areas. Then I just flat out told her I love the shape of her belly and her thighs and how they play into the curves with her boobs and her butt. She seemed to take it well, I want to find the right moment to ask about taking pictures and doing more with her body but once again don’t want to push my luck. 

You could be lucky and her weight gain sends her sex drive through the roof once she regains her confidence, and hopefully you'll be able to keep up!

I guess you need to more openly ogle her thighs, butt, and belly, oh darn.

Edited October 13, 2020 by StirCrazy94545
Added a little more nuance

[VanillaGorilla]

23 hours ago, StirCrazy94545 said:

You could be lucky and her weight gain sends her sex drive through the roof once she regains her confidence, and hopefully you'll be able to keep up!

I guess you need to more openly ogle her thighs, butt, and belly, oh darn.

 

Trust me, I’m doing plenty of that!! I really think there’s a good shot of her regaining her sex drive once she gets her confidence back. not to brag but years ago we would have sex daily, for years. Now I’d be lucky if it would be quarterly (Not asking for pity lol). all this though has been going on before any weight gain, just her stress from work and her low energy level.

I think given that she literally does zero physical activity and her hobbies include laying on the couch and going to brunch with friends that she’s going to keep a lot of the weight she’s put on. I think me reassuring her has at least not made her stress about her figure even if she hasn’t built her confidence back up yet. I think it’s also maybe helped her not worry about what she eats or how she shows me her body.

i don’t have much in they way of updates With us, just more of the same: branching, snacking, no word of wanting to diet or exercise. She was complaining about her ‘chub rub’ where her inner thighs and knee areas are rubbing when she walks and that her hairs are scratching her if she doesn’t keep on top of shaving. I also learned her weakness- Popeyes spicy chicken sandwiches. This isn’t the first time she’s done it but she ordered them randomly without telling me, they just showed up at the door. when she was finished eating she shuffled slowly towards me and grumbled “I ate it all, every last bite...and all the fries” as she rubbed her bloated belly protruding forward in her ‘loose comfortable dress’. I have yet to see it, but she also promised to surprise me soon by dressing up sexy, so I’m hoping that the confidence is coming around with her

[chubbybutt22]

1 hour ago, VanillaGorilla said:

She was complaining about her ‘chub rub’ where her inner thighs and knee areas are rubbing when she walks

You’re welcome. 
 

[dania201]

Yes, Body Glide!

[VanillaGorilla]

It may not be an achievement for some couples but last night was the first time we had sex in almost a year, and probably ~20lbs ago. She’s definitely still insecure about her growing belly because she yelled at me twice to quit touching her there (and I had barely brushed my hand past it). But before those times during sex, she must’ve been in the moment because she let me put my hand right on her belly. She’s gotten so much softer, and where her measurements were something like 36”-28”-36” she has to just be 36” all the way down. Laying on her back you could draw a straight line down her sides with her belly now takes up the room where her hips Used to curve in. I guess she still needs some convincing somehow, but she has never looked sexier to me 

[extra_m13]

complex but favorable situation. personally i would try to be compassionate and to be quiet. the gain is there and if she feels 'ok' with time most of the weight will probably stay. just tell her you like her, and that will do. no need to be specific about...' i like you fatter, i like your hanging belly' oh no

[VanillaGorilla]

Weve had some uneventful weeks over here, she still doesn’t bring up diet or exercise. Some days it seems like she eats nothing, but then others she’ll just let her desires take control...her discovery of doordash is probably one of the bigger contributors for her recent weight.

I don’t think in the last month she’s gained much, but tonight she’s going out with girlfriends to eat and drink again, and she went to put on some nice jeans and a button up that she hasn’t worn since she was in the office. As soon as she said that I thought ‘oh no, this isn’t going to go well’. Several minutes later she came out in a different button up than she previously showed me and this one is pretty tight too. She came over and showed me how it fit and told me “I’ve gotten fatter since the last time I wore this”. She showed me how she had to put a tank top on underneath because the cloth between the buttons are opening up and were showing her bra and cleavage; her belly was pushing on them pretty well too. I told her that she was sexy as hell and she sheepishly asked “really?” And of course I said yes, because she is! She also had some high wedges on that made her butt look even better in her tight jeans. Hopefully she comes home soon with jeans and shirt unbuttoned from all she ate!!

the real dilemma is going to come soon: winter clothes and all of these button ups that she just rediscovered- does she go on a shopping spree to go up a size or does she go back to her pajama shorts and t-shirts or is this enough of a shock to her? I’ve told her for many years: any dollar amount, I’m paying for a Victoria secret bra, underwear and thong shopping spree that she’s never taken me up on, maybe this is the year, or maybe I’ve gotta get me running shoes out to run alongside her? ...I hope not, I got bad knees!